Chronicles of a Western Belle
by Leah C. Drawn
Summary: This isn't a love story. Sure, it has love, but that's not the point of Bella Swan's life; her life is a story of friendship, and overcoming hardships alongside her best friends and -and would everyone just STOP assuming that she's dating Edward Cullen? She's not! And she's NOT going to date the new boy, who thought she was cheating on Jasper with Edward. Wait. What? AH. E/B OOC
1. Riley Schmiley

**Hello humans! It's been a long time since I've written anything for FanFiction, and much less Twilight. The truth is, I hadn't really felt like it. But now, as life stresses me out, I realize I want to put something out again. This story is one I came up with a while ago, and let me give you a few warnings:** **WARNING WARNING WARNING! Everybody is OOC. I don't want people complaining to me that Tanya shouldn't be Edward's sister, or that it's too different from the original story. First, this is All Human. That in itself makes it all out of character already. Besides; it's my damn story. I'll do as I like. :)** **DISCLAIMER** : **I ONLY OWN FEW THINGS IN LIFE, AND TWILIGHT ISN'T ONE OF THEM.**

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I don't like girls.

As a girl myself, it is a very troublesome statement, but it's the truth. They easily backstab you, they talk behind your back when you expect them not to, and they care about appearances first and foremost. Boys are no angels, either, but they're straightforward. If they have a problem with you, they'll say it. But their way of doing it is different than a girl's. Why? I don't know. It just hurts less. Boys have simple expectations of you, and if you meet them, you're in. The expectation boys have always had of me is that I'm easygoing and funny.

So I meet their expectations, casting aside troublesome situations.

Once, I had a girl friend. I was very small, around seven. Her name was May. She and I were very close, always playing, always laughing. We played dolls together, planned our weddings and even gushed over dresses. But then she made more girl friends. She cast me aside. It hurt, but I tried overlooking it. I played with my childhood friend, Edward. Our mothers were high school friends, so we grew up together. Even our names were picked the same way. My mother was into Disney movies at the time, and when she had me, she named me after her favorite one, Beauty and the Beast (but some coaxing lead her to naming me Isabella, instead of Belle outright). Edward's mom was into Edward Scissorhands, quite intensely, so she decided to name her son after her favorite character, Edward. Moving on.

I played with Edward and his friends, each time growing further apart from May. I tried getting close to her, but the girls in first grade shunned me. They didn't like how much of a tomboy I was. Eventually, May joined in too. She cast me aside easily. So I decided I didn't need her or any of the girls in class. I was more than fine with having mom, Edward's mother and his sister as the women in my life.

Edward took me under his wing. He told me to embrace who I was. Told me I was cool just like that, and that his friends liked me. He saved me from bitterness. So recess was spent with him and the boys, until eventually, I was one of them.

Am, one of them.

I wouldn't consider myself an ugly girl. I just take the minimum care of myself. I wear my hair up, no makeup, use the sports uniform instead of skirts, and wear trousers when I'm required to if I have to be formal. I do everything I can to blend in with the guys. The only thing I can't do is cut my hair, even though it would be more practical, what with all the sports I do and activities I join. But Aunt Esme (Ed's mom), mom and Tanya (Edward's sister), have threatened me to not cut it above my waist. I'm too scared to defy them, but I rebel by using it in a bun.

Edward and I are now juniors in high school. We have a group of friends, which we've accumulated since the first grade: Emmett, Ben, Jasper (Casper, as I call him) and James (Jamie). I, obviously, am the only girl. But they're fine with that. They treat me like one of the guys, which is what makes me happy. But they don't treat me like a boy, per se. Considering how long we've been together, I've only seen their asses and junks a handful of times or so. A success, too, because they love lowering their pants when I'm not around. They never learn, though. They think that 'I'm going to the bathroom' is the equivalent to 'I'll be gone for hours, so do disgusting shit'. But they're considerate enough of me to, for instance, hide the porn magazines when I go to their houses or stop talking of a girl's boobs (most of the time) I'm around them.

I love them.

This is the story of our high school days, of fights, hurt and love.

"Hey, Bella, hand me the water bottle, will you?" Jamie pants, coming to a stop in front of me. I'm panting myself, heaving over the running around we just did. It's PE, the gang's favorite class. I'm leaning on my knees, feeling so weak that I can't even reach the few inches between me and Jamie's water.

"Get it yourself." I grunt, making Jamie grumble and say something about my ungratefulness. He believes that because he lifts me to make dunks, he's my savior. Truth is, I'm short. Just barely scraping five feet. Last week they measured me to be 5 ft 1, which made me happy. But this is probably the most I'll grow. In any case, Jamie is the tallest after Edward at 6 feet, and the bastard is still growing. So when they want me to make a dunk, Jamie or Edward pick me up (despite my protests) without a single word. It's freaky how coordinated they are. Sometimes, they just look at each other and act.

Against me.

"Did you see her? Casting aside James Hunter like he's a piece of dirt. She's got guts, that tomboy." I hear one of the bitchy girls murmur to her friend, loud enough for me to hear, low enough for none of my boys to kill her.

I put on a frosty smile and straighten up. They want to play games, then so can I.

Ignoring the pain in my joints, I stride over to Jamie. He sees me coming, and the glint in my eye tells him what I'm about to do. His eye shine with mischievousness. Jamie loves it when I use him to tell off bitches. Honestly? He just loves drama.

"James, my love." I open my eyes widely, faking a cute look (I don't do cute). Jamie bites his lip to keep from smirking, and opens his arms for me to step into.

"Bella, my dearest pumpkin." He encases me in his arms. Glaring over his shoulder at Jessica (bitch who called me a gutty tomboy), I lean in to whisper in his ear.

"Pumpkin? You're overdoing it, Hunter." I clench my jaw in order to stop myself from insulting him. He's shaking with barely suppressed laughter.

"Doing what? Over who?"

Jamie, the pervert.

"You two! Stop joking and come over here! The game isn't over yet." Emmett shouts from the other side of the court, where he's trying to block Jasper from stealing his ball.

They're on the same team.

Emmett is the resident sportsman and Ben is the resident (bullied by us) geek.

"You too, Casper! No slacking off!"

Jasper is the laziest, most who-gives-a-fuck artist you'll ever meet. He breathes and eats painting. If he doesn't have his pencil and sketch book by his side, he isn't Jazz.

"And you, Edward! Stop flirting and help me out!"

And finally Edward, the resident flirt.

Which leaves me, the girl and expert photographer.

"C'mon, Bella. Our lord calls." Jamie parts from me to hold out his arm, and I mockingly take it, bowing.

Yeah, I stick out my tongue at Jessica.

We finish our game. Edward, Jamie and I are on one team while Emmett, Ben and Jasper are in the other (plus a bunch of other guys). My team wins, basically because Ben didn't stop trying to steal Emmett's ball. They have a very antagonistic friendship, which is funny, considering they're a jock and a geek.

Oh, the ironies in life.

Actually, everyone in this gang has their own group of people they hang out with at lunch. Jamie and Edward are at the popular table, even though Jamie is part of the basketball team. Emmett is with the football team, Ben with the computer geeks and Casper hangs out with the art club (basically, by himself). I, on the other hand, don't hang out with anyone. By choice. I always go around school, taking pictures. That or I finish the homework I didn't do (hint -I almost never do it).

But we hang out after school sometimes. And during class every once in a while. We grow up. We find our own circles of friends. I sometimes even hang around the skaters, if I'm feeling like company. Our friendship works because we give each other a breather.

But in our hearts, this is still our most important circle of friends.

Moving on.

Gym ends, which was the last class for the day. Everyone packs up, going to clubs, home or a friend's house.

As for me, I walk home with Edward.

The thing about our mothers being so close is that we basically have two mothers. In my case, it's a useful thing. My dad disappeared when I was six, so I have little memory of him. Mom became an unreliable mother, but Aunt Esme stepped in and has been taking care of me ever since.

Edward's dad, though, is a saint. He lets Aunt Esme do her own thing, happy so long as he gets fed. Uncle Carlisle is a great husband and an awesome dad, and more than once I've wished he was actually my father. He even survives Tanya's tantrums, just glaring and pointing at her room when he's too angry to speak.

He even grounds me.

"Tony, what's for dinner today?" I ask, just like I always do. He thinks about it for a few minutes, probably trying to recall. Aunt Esme knows to send her son off with a preview to (our) dinner.

"I think it was something with a Japanese name, but I can't remember," he finally admits, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Edward is really handsome, I think as I watch him out the corner of my eye. Actually, all of the guys are. But I can understand how Edward is a flirt. He has a permanent sex hair, with emerald green eyes and a crooked smile. But he's like a brother to me. Edward is untouchable. He's a precious friend I don't plan on losing anytime soon.

As we make a turn, I stop him.

My eyes shine.

"Is it gyoza? Or teriyaki chicken? Onigiri? Think, Tony, think!" I breathe, jumping from one foot to the other. Food makes me excited.

Edward laughs, halting me. I still smile really grandly and wait for an answer.

"I think it was onigiri."

My stomach growls embarrassingly loud. I turn beet red, but don't apologize. He's used to my appetite by now.

He laughs harder, then swings an arm around my shoulders. He takes my messenger bag as well, which is heavy with my camera and books.

This is what I like the most about Edward. He treats me like a girl through and through. Well, sometimes he forgets when he talks to me about the latest hot girls, but I don't mind. I always listen, because I think it's sweet how open the boys are with me.

"I was thinking..."

"Woah there, Tony, don't push yourself so hard. You'll give yourself a tumor." I joke, which earns me a shove that sends me flying to the other end of the sidewalk. "So violent. Anyways, continue."

Edward glares at me a bit more before continuing.

"You know how Halloween is coming up?" he sees I'm about to make a sarcastic remark, so he continues. He knows me well. "Don't answer that. Have you realized you and I haven't picked our costumes yet?"

Edward seems honestly troubled by it, and now that he mentions it, I am too.

By the way, it's September.

But Edward and I are children at heart.

"Really? You still want to match with me?" If I was a dog, I'd be wagging my tail. Edward's face clearly shows he thinks I'm an idiot for asking. I feel I'm being assertive. "Well, with everything that's happened lately, I thought you'd probably want to match one of your girls or one of our guys or something." I shrug, a bit smug over the fact that he chooses me as his Halloween partner despite everything.

"When have I ever matched with a girl that wasn't you?" True. Thank God he didn't ask if he'd ever picked a girl over me, because that would have been a long-ass conversation, considering recent events. "Three things that are reserved for just you and I: Halloween, our birthdays and eating competitions. We promised, right?"

He remembers?

It was so long ago we made that promise.

"Don't cry, Belle. I promise you and I will spend every Halloween together. And you'll never have to worry about matching with someone. You'll match with me."

He's the only person apart of my mother to call me Belle. When I started showing signs of being a tomboy, mom started calling me Belle, trying to make me channel the refined Disney princess.

"You were so cute back then, Cullen. You know, before you realized how to charm women."

We bicker the rest of the way home, talking about food, today's basketball match and what video-game we'll play after we have dinner.

"WAKE UP, EDWARD! TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL!" I shout in Edward's ear the next morning. Just as expected, he slaps my face while trying to cover his ears.

"You're so annoying. Let me sleep." He raises the covers and puts a pillow over his head.

I glare, then start jumping on him.

"Didn't you tell me yesterday that you'd meet Jane ten minutes before school so to wake you up earlier? You mean to tell me Jane is going to have to do without some Edward for the rest of the day if you don't get there in time for some morning loving?"

He shoves me off of him in his hurry to get ready.

Thank you, Jane. You help me not be late because of Edward, and then you get some Edward.

Manipulating Edward is so easy, too. You mention sex and he could fly to get there.

It sort of irritates me, though. Our relationship is sort of strained right now precisely because he refuses to keep his dick in his pants.

I go downstairs, where Tanya, Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle are having breakfast. I sit my ass down like I belong there (which I do). Then I dig into my breakfast, consisting of sausages, eggs and orange juice. Nutritious and fulfilling.

This is my second breakfast.

"So, Bella, what time did your mom get back yesterday?" Aunt Esme strikes up conversation while I help her clean up the table. Edward always takes his sweet time getting ready, so his breakfast is in a paper bag. In other words, to go. He doesn't have time for anything else.

"Close to midnight. I was doing homework, and the ruckus she made would've woken up the whole neighborhood if I hadn't stepped in."

So, my mother became a slight (true) alcoholic. She works at a bar, see. When dad left, he left us dirt-poor. During the first years, mom worked really hard to compensate, but in the end, she ended up spending the money in drinks. Because of that, we had to move from our nice house to a dubious neighborhood in no time, a place which nobody in the Cullen family has visited due to my stubbornness of not wanting to seem poor. Right now, I'm probably the only person keeping our miserable house afloat. I work three part-time jobs to help pay bills, food and clothes. Mom's cooperation is practically nonexistent since I turned fifteen and started picking up jobs.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help her."

I burst our laughing.

"Aunt Esme, if you were of any more help I'd have to call you Saint Esme."

We both laugh, she because it's funny, me because it's the truth.

"Oh, Bella, I really wish there was chemistry between you and Edward. It'd be lovely if you were to become my daughter someday."

Oh, my heart. I pretend wiping away a tear. I don't cry. I would... but I can't.

"Aunt Esme, I might marry Tony just to be officially a part of your family." I say half-joking. I could live the rest of my life with Edward. Heck, I'm planning to. Just, in a platonic way.

"Hey, let's stop talking about me and get going, Belle! Everyone's waiting."

Meaning Jane, I grumble at Edward as I follow him out the door, grabbing his breakfast on the way out. We say goodbye to his mom, who is washing the dishes. To his dad, who is reading the paper. And to Tanya, who is on her way to college.

"Tony, I love your mom. I've decided I'm stealing her from Uncle Carlisle." I inform my best friend in all seriousness a few minutes later, as he shoves a piece of bread in his mouth.

"You can't. Mom doesn't swing that way."

I pretend he's wounded me, and snort when his laugh makes the bread go the wrong way.

Jazz, Emmett, Jamie and Ben meet us on the way. I practically live in his house, so that's why we hang out after school so often. Well, less now that Emmett is in the football team, Jazz in the art club, Jamie in the basketball team and Ben in the computer club. And, you know, the whole working three jobs thing.

But whatever, sharing your friends is caring.

"Jazz, how's your newest creation coming along?" I turn to look at him. He's the newest member of the crew, someone we picked up last year. He was being bullied for drawing instead of making friends, so Edward and I took it upon ourselves to defend the poor bastard. Ever since, we welcomed him into our group without protest. He's a cool guy.

"Great. I just have to buy some paints today and then I'll finish it."

Have I mentioned that Jasper's hair always has some paint splattered on? He showers, believe me. But he paints messily, and he does it before and after school. Even his clothes are stained. But we all love him and his reckless ways.

I hang back, stopping Jazz at the entrance to school. The rest of the guys go ahead, Edward leading.

Something's up with him.

"Jazz, what's up? Something bothering you?" I frown, trying to think of the possibilities. Jazz keeps averting his baby blue eyes, trying to avoid mine.

"Nothing. Let me be, Bella."

I squint a bit more at him, then decide not to push. If I do, he'll just snap and say harsh stuff. I sigh, holding up my hands in defeat.

"Ok, but you know you can talk to me if something's wrong."

I turn to keep walking, but Jazz stops me.

He looks defeated.

"Sorry. It's just that..." he looks at a loss of words, so I keep quiet. "My... cousin... is transferring today to this school," he finally spits out. I blink. It's odd for someone to transfer a month into school, but not unheard of. "He's a troublemaker, so I promised my aunt I'd keep an eye on him. She wants him to hang out with us until he makes some friends." Jazz rushes out.

I blink again, then laugh.

"That's what's bothering you? Don't worry so much, Jazz. It's going to be just fine. Besides," I grin, trying to lighten the mood. "He might know many embarrassing stories about you."

Jasper laughs, not because it's funny, but because he knows that's what I'll be aiming for with his cousin.

Be nervous, Jazz.

In our school, each grade is separated in three classes. Edward, Jasper and I are in one. Ben is with Emmett in another one, and Jamie is all alone. I think Jamie's heart broke a little when we figured out he was alone.

Jessica, the bitch from yesterday, is leaning against Jamie's locker when we pass by her. We glare at each other. She because she's jealous of me, me because she annoys me. Jamie is trying to open his locker, looking very annoyed with her as well. He never lets his popularity get into his head, unlike Edward. I am of the opinion that Jamie still thinks girls have cooties.

"Hey, Jazz." I snap him back into reality, probably from thinking of another painting. He raises an eyebrow, and briefly I wonder if his cousin looks like him. Jazz has the body of an athlete (which pisses Emmett off because Jasper hates sports) and a face to go with it, with blond ruffled hair and blue eyes. I always try to draw a mustache on him; it just feels right for him, you know?

"Yeah?"

"Has there been any development with yours truly?"

Almost immediately, Jazz tries denying everything.

"W-What are you talking about, Bella?" Jasper averts his gaze, but it's a bad idea since in that moment a girl crashes into him.

I smirk.

It's his truly, Alice.

The only woman that matches his passion in art.

I'm only assuming it's her, though. He's never outright told me he liked her, but I think blushing and stuttering when talking about her is a clear sign he likes her.

"Ali-cat! Your ears must've been ringing. I have a small favor to ask you." I swear my smile is bigger than the Cheshire cat's. I barely cast Jazz a small glance as I keep talking. "Today, I was supposed to accompany Jazz to buy some art supplies, but I got grounded and can't go. Would you mind terribly going with him? I know he'll appreciate a fellow artist's opinion more than mine. Please?" I use the smile I reserve for when I'm trying to not smile evilly.

Alice scrutinizes me, probably thinking I'm being too obvious.

She once cornered me, asking if I was Jasper's girlfriend. After I pretty much told her off for cornering me, she begged me not to tell Jazz about the incident. I promised her I wouldn't, and ever since I've been her ally.

It's so hard knowing who likes who and not being able to actively do shit about it.

"Sure, Bella." Alice says slowly, her normally dull eyes shining slightly. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was no difference in her expressionless face.

"Great! Hash out the details between yourselves."

And I skip off, turning back only to smile smugly at a glaring Jazz. He knows he loves me (deep down) and appreciates my help.

It's not my fault they're so obvious in their crush.

Going into class 11-A, I find the usual chaos waiting for me. Edward isn't there yet, obviously with Jane. This is our morning ritual. I come in, dump my shit on some desk (no assigned seats), and find someone to talk to. Because Jasper isn't back yet, I go hang out with another group of guys.

I'm just getting into a baseball talk with this guy, Tim, when Jazz comes through the door. I know I'm gonna get it, because I invited someone to his shopping ritual despite not being invited myself.

He looks furious.

Which can only mean one thing:

Run.

Because this happens quite often (with all of the guys from the gang), nobody pays us any mind anymore. It's odd for Jazz to be the one chasing me, but nobody really sees a difference. I run around the class, shouting profanities at Jazz and escaping from his wrath. He doesn't like me interfering in his love life.

"QUIET DOWN!" Mr. Banner shouts out when he comes in, just like any other day. He's used to our ruckus now, but he still tries to stop us. Everyone shuts up.

"Everyone, sit down so we can begin. Mr. Whitlock and Ms. Swan, I hope that tomorrow I won't find you running in my class." Jazz and I shake our angelic heads. Everybody starts sitting down in their usual spots. I go to sit beside Jazz, but he shakes his head. I frown.

"I'm saving the spot for my cousin. You save a spot for Edward."

Well, when he puts it that way...

Makes me feel kind of lonely, though. Jazz is my math partner, because Edward sucks. He always tries to copy my procedure. That, and Edward usually sits with a geek so he can copy even better notes.

Whatever.

I sit in the desk in front of Jasper's, against the wall.

For the first time, I notice there's a new student standing next to Mr. Banner's desk.

He's definitely not what I expected of Jasper's cousin. This guy, even from the distance is strikingly handsome. Piercings line his ears, his right eyebrow has a piercing and his hair is dyed night black, probably previously blond. I can't see the color of his eyes, but I think they're light. His face would look like a model's, though, if it wasn't so angry-looking and didn't have a nice shiner on his left eye. His uniform hangs lose and wrinkled, making for a very strange-looking guy in a top-notch private school.

I turn to Jazz, and simply raise my eyebrow.

Jazz sighs, trying to discern the secrets that the ceiling holds.

"Before we start," Mr. Banner begins. "Ms. Swan, I trust that Mr. Cullen will be in class before the five minute tardiness allowed is up?"

I'm of the strong belief that Mr. Banner hates Edward.

"I am 85% sure he'll be here. There's still a chance he feels bad and is at the nurse's."

Mr. Banner hates me as well, simply by association.

He thinks I'm too sarcastic.

Mr. Banner writes down on the list a T for tardy next to Edward's name. If it wasn't for me, his attendance would consist of A for absent.

I should tell him to pay me for every absence I save him from.

"Morning ritual aside, there's a transfer student I'd like to introduce. This is Riley Marks, he just moved here from New York. I hope everyone will give him a warm welcome, and I trust he won't cause the same trouble as Mr. Cullen and his group of friends. Now then, sit next to Mr. Whitlock, and we'll begin."

Yeah, Mr. Banner isn't big on wasting time.

Marks basically glares his way through to Jazz. Nobody dares greet the poor guy.

However, I don't have the same sense of self-preservation normal humans do, so I smile brightly at Marks when he sits down next to Jazz. I grab his hand and give it a shake, because it's obvious he won't shake mine on his own.

"Hey! You're Casper's cousin right? My name's Bella. Pleased to meet you."

Yeah, in my mind, anybody that is related to my gang is a cool person.

However, this guy isn't.

"Fuck off, you ugly tomboy. Stop touching me."

So, this guy made two really big mistakes. He called me a tomboy. That's one. Two, he said it the second Edward had gone in class and was within hearing range.

Let's just say, Edward got mad.

One moment, Edward is joking with the class about managing to make it in time. The next second, he has Marks on the floor and is punching the living daylights out of him.

"What did you just say to Bella, punk?" Edward is roaring. Marks is just about to punch Edward back when I pull him behind me.

Marks's uppercut misses Edward's face. Instead, it meets air. Oh, the great things of being small. Still, I stay in front of Edward, and Jazz holds Marks's arms behind his back.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Mr. Banner yells, angrier than I'd ever seen him.

"This dude suddenly attacked me!" Marks points at Edward, but my friend is quick to jump.

"He was saying shit to Bella! He crossed a line!"

Everyone instantly shuns Riley Marks for the next two years.

There's two reasons for that. The first being Edward. What he says, goes. If he doesn't like you, nobody does. If he likes you, you're in. Simple. If Edward hates you, it's the same as being a murderer. They talk about you, they don't like you, but they won't approach you. The second reason being that Edward's popularity extends to me. I'm well liked. Boys think I'm cool. Girls don't really get it, but they don't bother me (for the most part). But everyone knows you don't mess with me. You mess with me, you're asking to get punched by me, then Edward, then the rest of my gang. Did I mention Edward, Jamie and I took some karate lessons a few years ago? No? Well, we did. And none of us show any hesitation to use our skills. It's the reason why Jessica & Bitches haven't dared try do something to me. They know I have hounds.

But Marks didn't know, and I am pretty positive he won't find a friend in this sea of Edward followers.

"THAT'S IT! CULLEN AND MARKS, TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE! YOU TOO, SWAN!"

Sir, yes sir.

I don't know why I'm going, but whatever. If it means I can miss Math class, it works for me.

The walk to the principal's is awkward. Edward has an overprotective arm around my shoulders, and Marks is walking on my side of the wall a bit before us.

"You ok, Belle?" Edward turns to me with worried eyes. He doesn't like it when others call me a tomboy, and I think it unsettled him that Marks thought I was flirting. I roll my eyes.

"You fool, I can take care of myself. Now you're in trouble, and Aunt Esme is going to be pissed. But..." I sigh, letting out a grin. "Thanks, Tony."

Ahead, I see Marks's fists clench. Obviously, he has something to say. But he must've learnt his lesson.

Do not speak ill of Bella in front of Edward.

At the principal's, Edward and Marks get detention. Marks complains, saying he did nothing wrong. The second Edward repeats what he said to me, Principal Sloan reduces Edward's detention time and adds it to Marks's.

Edward cheers and Marks scowls.

"Ms. Swan, take Mr. Marks to the nurse's. No buts, Cullen. If anything happens, I'll be sure to add to Marks's detention time." Principal Sloan interrupts Edward's protests. He's appeased, just barely, but it'll be enough to hold him off.

When we're dismissed, Marks and I part from Edward, and the look he gives me is one that promises a lengthy talk later on.

On the way to the infirmary, the silence is so awkward that I finally break it.

"So you're Casper's cousin."

Marks raises a pierced brow.

"Casper?"

Oh, right. It occurs to me for the first time that Whitlock's family probably calls him by his given name.

"Y'know, from Jasper. What do you call him?"

"Jasper."

Well, ain't that boring.

From here, I can see that his eyes are green, unlike Jasper's blue. Marks's are a bit prettier, no offense to my friend. Truly, this guy could be pretty hot.

And I'm speaking like the asexual entity that I am.

Just a remark.

"So..." I trail off. We have a long way to the infirmary. The school is pretty big just in area, not counting the fact that it's four floors high. "Do you have any funny stories about Jazz as a kid?"

Oh no she didn't.

Oh yes I did.

Marks is giving me a half-annoyed, half-amused glare.

"I just got in trouble for snapping at you. And you're trying for small-talk?"

Well, when he puts it that way...

"Yeah." I shrug, unconcerned. "Somehow, I don't feel your insult was all that personal. Well, it was personalized, but unless you have a strange grudge against me, we're fine."

I don't think Marks was expecting that.

Suddenly, he starts laughing, and his scowl disappears.

His two shiners (the newest one courtesy of Edward) don't make him look all that joyful, though.

"I see now what Jasper meant." Huh? Marks takes in my confused face so he starts explaining. "At family dinners, whenever he's asked if there's a special girl in his life, he always answers Bella. All of us thought it was strange, but I can see why you're his girlfriend."

Ok, I start laughing.

We're going down the stairs, and I don't stop laughing until we've reached the first floor.

"Jazz and I? He's not my boyfriend. If anything, I'm trying to set him up with a girl from the art club."

This is so funny. I have to tell Jazz about this. Emmett will probably have a blast, too.

Marks is now the one confused.

"But... he always spoke so highly of you. I thought for sure you were his girlfriend," he frowns. I shake my head.

"I guess he respects me to a certain degree more than other girls." Marks snorts. How much as that guy spoken about me? "Edward and I saved him from being bullied by the class. I guess to him, we're special." I shrug, not smug or anything. It's simply the truth.

"Then, are you and Edward..."

We get in that moment to the infirmary, where Nurse Jackie (that's not her real name, by the way) is just coming out. The second she sees Marks all banged up, she rushes to take him from me.

"My God Bella, what have you done to this poor boy?" Nurse Jackie fusses over him, trying to be all over the place at once. She sits him down on one of the beds, gathering supplies as quick as she can.

"Hey, why does it have to be me? It was Edward." Jackie's sigh tells me she suspected so. She's used to seeing the six of us here, though. Our sportsmanship (Emmett's specially) is below awful. We throw elbows, jab and kick each other in order to win. Once, Ben broke my hand while trying to win against me in a game of Call of Duty.

Never best a computer geek in his home turf.

Just saying.

"What were you playing at this time? Basketball? Skating? Or, let me guess, football?"

I sit down on the bed in front of Marks.

"Duck duck goose." I reply. Nurse Jackie doesn't bother correcting me, because she never knows if I'm bluffing or not.

"So, who is this guy? I haven't seen him around. Are you new?"

I grin a little when the peroxide makes Marks flinch.

"He's Casper's cousin. Riley Marks. Can't you see the resemblance?"

Nurse Jackie blinks, surprised.

"Oh, so you do know each other. That's odd. Why would Edward do this to Jasper's cousin?"

Woman, learn to shut up.

"Nurse Jackie, sometimes, life happens in an unpredictable way." I laugh nervously. Marks is glaring at me.

"I was an asshole to Bella so Cullen punched me. Stop defending me." Marks's glare doubles.

Nurse Jackie loses her smile, now looking at Marks with mean eyes.

"Bella, remind me to give Edward an extra lollipop the next time he's injured. That boy is a saint."

Yeah, Nurse Jackie is attached to me ever since I gave her her nickname. She said it was the first time someone had given her such a funny name, and she'd treasure it.

As a matter of fact, I've nicknamed everyone. Edward's became Tony when I first learnt of his middle name, Anthony. I occasionally call Emmett, Emma, and normally I don't call Ben anything other than that (though sometimes it's Benny G). And Jasper's was because he's deathly pale, like the ghost Casper, and my clever self linked the names.

Now that I think about it, should I give Marks a nickname? I should, but what? I don't know him well enough yet.

I could call him 'Asshole', because that's what I know of him so far, but I don't think he would be happy.

"Jackie, it's fine. Let bygones be bygones." I wave my hand, this time having two people stare at me weirdly.

"Bella, dear, I don't get you. But if you say so, then..." she applies some more peroxide on Marks's shiner, making him hiss. Nurse Jackie's satisfied grin tells me that these people care more about me than I thought, which warms my heart. "All done, Mr. Marks. I hope to not see you around here too often."

It's a threat.

"I'm sorry." Marks says as we walk together back to math class. I raise both eyebrows, a bit surprised. I thought he'd never apologize. "I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on you because I thought you were Jasper's girlfriend. I didn't want Jasper to misunderstand, but it came out too harsh."

I blink, then laugh.

"Oh, I have a feeling you're too kind for your own good, despite your roughness. I understand."

And I do. This guy was willing to make himself look bad in order to relieve his cousin of doubts of his 'girlfriend' being interested in another guy. I have no idea why those intentions went through this guy's head, but I'm not one to judge.

"Thanks, I guess." Marks sighs. We're almost in class, so I give him a final warning.

"You might get punched again, though. You still haven't met Emmett, Jamie and Ben. Ben is a pacifist, so nothing will happen... maybe. But Emmett's in the football team and Jamie knows karate."

I wonder why Edward didn't use any karate moves on Marks, now that I think about it. I know I didn't because I'm not really a violent girl, but Edward would've broken Marks's nose in the blink of an eye.

Marks pales slightly, but he doesn't have much time to dwell on it because we arrive in that moment to class.

"Ah, Ms. Swan, I'm glad you decided to come back to class and resist the temptation of skipping. Now sit down, both of you."

I fake sniffling, even wiping a fake tear.

"Mr. Banner, you say such sweet words. It's tough to believe I'm your favorite student."

Vein throbbing, Mr. Banner gives me a push towards my seat with a ruler.

Everyone is too busy glaring at Marks to see this harassment against me.

I feel sort of guilty, though. It's because he snapped at me that his next two years in school will be miserable.

I'm so weird.

Edward is sitting in my desk for a change, and when I dump myself next to him, he's looking anywhere but at me. He knows I'm yelling at him soon for doing such an irresponsible thing.

Well, it's what I'd normally do, but today I'm feeling a bit more forgiving.

"Relax, Tony, I'm not angry." I confess, and practically see the relief rolling off of him.

"Bell! Thomson! Stop flirting in my class, you no-gooders!" Mr. Banner barks the same thing as always. We're used to the teachers assuming Edward and I are a couple, though, so we don't correct them anymore. Too bothersome.

Besides, the girls and boys know Edward and I are just friends (I hope).

"And Swan! Keep your feet off the school property." Mr. Banner says and glares at my feet. They're propped against Edward's chair, my usual position. I always take the side of the wall because then I can lean my back against it and put my feet up. It's more comfortable, and Edward doesn't mind my feet digging into his thigh.

"Sir!" I salute, and lower my feet for the remaining class time... which is five minutes.

The bell rings, alerting us to a class change. Everyone stands up and says bye to Mr. Banner, and I even wiggle my fingers. He's my favorite teacher. The rest don't put up with my shit like he does. It has to do with the fact that he's the youngest teacher too, but whatever, dude.

Mr. Banner makes me stay behind for a few seconds, and he waits until everyone is gone before he speaks.

"Ms. Swan, I just want to make sure that whatever Mr. Marks told you wasn't taken to heart. Are you ok?"

And this is why I love him. He and I are buddies outside of class. I mean, inside, he hates Edward and I equally. But outside, he jokes with us and is a big fan of baseball, just like me.

His question sort of makes me want to aww.

So I give him the best smile I own, all toothy and shiny.

"I'm fine, Mr. Banner. It makes me happy to see so many people care about me." I say, and it's the truth. It's good for a girl to know she's liked, and actions speak louder than words.

Mr. Banner gives a tiny nod, skeptical but relieved to see I'm holding up.

"Well, so long as you're ok, Isabella."

I lean in, pretending to tell him a secret.

"Don't worry, we'll discuss yesterday's game later." I grin, and laugh when I get a boyish grin in return. I think Mr. Tanner is a cool guy, but is often misunderstood.

Mr. Banner dismisses me, telling me to hurry to the next class.

I make a pit stop in the bathroom, cursing the two cups of orange juice I drink every morning.

While I'm doing my business, I see two pairs of legs in front of the sinks.

"I can't believe that Bella." A bitchy voice says, which I recognize as Jessica's. "She gets insulted, and doesn't even flinch."

"I know, right?" one of her followers, Lauren, says. "I heard him call her an ugly tomboy. God bless him for saying what we're all thinking."

"I know! But it's so frustrating. It doesn't matter what you tell her, she won't cry. And Edward is so defensive of her, too. So annoying." Jessica scoffs.

"It's because he knows he's her only friend. He takes pity on her by hanging out with her. And seriously, have you seen how she speaks to Mr. Banner? That slut flirts with anything that has a dick!"

"Ugh, don't remind me."

They leave, and I stay.

I'm crying inside my stall. I don't know what of all they said struck me the most, but it was probably from saying Edward takes pity on me. Things have been up in the air with Edward lately, and I wonder sometimes. Is he still my friend because he pities stupid Bella? What's keeping him with me? My charming personality? I don't want Edward to hate me. I don't want anyone in the gang to hate me.

The tears keep streaming down my face.

There's a knock, and Ed's voice follows it, asking if I'm here.

Tentatively, I open the door. Edward takes one look at my face and hurries in the bathroom, locking the door behind him and pulling me into a hug.

I cry my eyes out against his chest, probably staining his precious shirt, but I don't care, and I know he doesn't either.

"What's wrong, Belle? Did that asshole say something else?"

"N-No, it's not about h-him." I hiccup, cleaning my nose on his shirt. He takes a step back so he can look at my face, which has tear tracks and snot running down my nose. I wipe it with the back of my hand, still hiccupping. I sort of feel like a two year old, crying to mommy about being pushed in the playground.

"Then what?" it's one of those rare instances where Edward is gentle, and I'm sort of glad he isn't trying to laugh this off, like he usually does.

"J-Jessica and L-Lauren," I'm not above ratting them out, ladies and gentlemen, "said th-at I'm slutty, and that you ta-ke pity on me and that's why you h-hang out with me. A-And that I really am an ugly tom-boy." I hiccup, looking away.

Edward's anger has reached its maximum.

"Isabella, listen to me." He wipes away my tears, cupping my cheeks so he can make sure I look him in the eye. It's embarrassing, but I do. Edward... he looks so angry for my sake. I don't know what to feel about it, but I decide to feel protected. My worries are blown away. Who cares? I have Edward. I might not be the prettiest girl, but I don't care about beauty. I look at myself in the mirror, averting my gaze from Puck's. My brown hair is tied in a grungy bun, the fringe Lou forced upon me held up by a bobby-pin. My brown eyes are bloodshot, my cheeks splotchy and my lips slightly swollen from biting them to hold back my cries. I'm not a pretty sight, but I'm not so bad in general. I'm fit, I have pretty hair and I have boobs hidden underneath the layers of clothes. So what am I crying about?

I laugh, stepping back from Edward.

He's surprised, but lets me go.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I went crazy for a minute there. I'm ok now, though. I promise."

He tugs me in for a hug.

Then he whispers in my ear. "You're my beautiful, innocent, kind and hilarious best friend. Never let anyone tell you otherwise."

And because he's a big sap, he farts, and our beautiful moment is over.

* * *

 **So? What did you think? I know that there's a few things that might seem odd, but hear me out. This is actually an original story of mine, but I wanted to share it here, so I'm changing the characters into Twilight people. I've actually developed this story a lot already, and I really want to, you know, share it here (again), So please forgive me if you find some discrepancies, and please point them out (like if I say at one point that Bella has blue eyes, for instance, or that Edward has a Mohawk -believe me, I'm not trying to give him one).**

 **So, I really hate doing this. But I've learnt that motivation is a really important thing, and I don't want to continue a story nobody likes. So on that note, I've set the goal to 20 follows for this chapter. If (or when) we reach it, I'll post the second chapter, maybe a little shorter if y'all thought this was too long. Also, there will be smut, hence the rating. I'm just trying to do some character development here. :)**

 **Leah.**


	2. The Birth of Romeo

**Hiya humans. Ok, so I realize I'm bad at keeping promises and am posting the second chapter despite not reaching the 20 follower goal. Here's why: I realize maybe one chapter wasn't enough to peak people's interest, so I'm posting the second chapter. However, I'll be true to my word for the _third_ chapter, which I'm nearly done with. **

**DISCLAIMER: I ONLY OWN A FEW STORIES, AND FEWER STILL HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED.**

* * *

"Hey, go to Nurse Jackie's and get her to write you a note for being late. What class do you have now?"

"Biology."

"Oh, Ms. Peters isn't really bitchy about tardiness, but still. Just in case." Edward tells me when I drop him off at his class. Truth is, I'm planning on skipping. But I can't bear to tell Edward, because he will either skip with me or tell Aunt Esme. So I just grin and agree.

Just before he goes into his own class (our school lets us choose between Biology, Physics and Chemistry), he turns back to look at me. His eyes are serious, meaning he isn't joking one bit now. Guilt flashes in his eyes.

"I don't want a repeat of last time, Belle. Tell me if something is bothering you."

And he disappears behind a door.

Growling to myself, I stomp all the way to the roof, an area off-limits to students that is my personal hideout. People think it's either too stuffy or too cold in here, so they don't like it.

As for me, it allows me to think.

But Edward... why did he have to mention this past summer? What a failure that had been.

 _"Edward... can you come over now?"_

 _No_ , I stop myself. I don't want to make a visit to the past.

I've surpassed that.

I lay out like a starfish, receiving the sun. The climate is starting to get windy, making me miss the summer heat. I love the sun and the heat it provides. Growing up, we could often not pay for gas or light in our house. So during the winters, the one thing I looked forward to was the summer, when I'd stop feeling so cold. Of course, there were freezing nights when mom ordered me to go to the Cullen's to spend the night, keeping it a secret that we didn't have heaters or gas. She knew they would've helped us, but mom refused to acknowledge just how low she'd fallen.

Most nights, though, I refused to go. Mom would be cold too, drunk and disoriented. Someone had to make sure she didn't die of cold or in her own vomit. So when she'd calmed down, I'd lay down with her in her bed, hugging her and begging God for the cold to pass.

Seriously, why am I so depressed today?

Rhetorical question.

"So, what are you doing here?" Marks is suddenly blocking my view of the sun, casting a long shadow over me. Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is very tall. About 6 ft 4, I think. His shadow is huge.

"Skipping class, of course." I squint, looking up. The sun's glare is killing my eyes, so I really appreciate it when he moves a little so his shadow casts over my eyes as well. He looks kind of angelic this way, with the sunlight pouring from the sides of his head. Then again, that angelic feeling is sort of killed by the piercings, dyed hair, bruises, and more than likely permanent tattoo I spot on his wrist. The glare doesn't help, either.

"So you were _this_ type of student, huh? It's good to see my judgment skills haven't diminished," he smirks, obviously proud of himself. I raise an eyebrow, silently telling him to elaborate. "I knew you weren't the angel you seemed like since I first saw you."

I snort.

"Bitch please, this is out of character for me," his eyes are suspicious, so I lengthen my explanation. "I'm a scholarship student, so my grades and attendance must be near perfect. But right now, I _really_ don't feel like going to class, so I'm not bothering about that."

Marks's eyes are assessing me carefully, like he's deciding something important.

"Is it because of what I said?" he finally asks, crouching so he's squatting on his talons. His face is nearer to mine now, so I can see in detail his two lovely shiners. Edward got him good.

"Yes and no. I have other reasons right now. As you can see, I feel like being depressive. I'm warning you though, the more depressed I am, the more biting my humor."

All in all, I gave him a fair warning.

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

Why do you care, Marks? You just met me.

"Tell me something funny. Either about you or Jazz."

This is as good a chance as any.

Marks sits back, changing his position to be lying next to me. He laces his fingers behind his head, mirroring me, and crossing his ankles. He thinks about it for a while, and I remain silent, watching the clouds.

"My middle name is Paris."

I don't expect to hear this, so it's too sudden and I burst out laughing. I laugh for a good while, heaving and letting a few tears slip.

This tough guy has the name of Paris Hilton, Paris of Troy and Paris from Shakespeare.

This is just too good.

"Oh God, I know what your nickname is! Riley Paris Marks, your nickname from now on is ROMEO!" I howl, gripping my stomach and rolling away when I see his fist coming. "What possessed your mother to name you _Paris_?"

Romeo (yes, I already think of him that way) sits up, scratching the back of his head. His cheeks have a light dusting of pink, letting me know he's not so angry as embarrassed.

"My mom named me after Paris of Troy. She was really into Greek mythology."

I crawl over to where he is, eyes shining.

"Seriously? Awesome! My mom named me after the movie _Beauty and the Beast_ , and Edward is named after _Edward Scissorhands_. We're all children of obsessions!" I laugh, finding the coincidence just too funny.

Romeo is looking at me with those thoughtful eyes again. Do I have something stuck on my face?

"Don't you hate me? It's obvious the rest of the class already does."

So I tell him.

"I like honesty. You said what everyone else thinks. So you were rude and purposely trying to hurt me, so what? I feel like you won't trick me. Already, I feel more comfortable talking to you than over half my class." Romeo is looking at me with a hesitant face, as though I might be bullshitting. But I'm serious. I've been tricked too many times about who people truly are, so I'm sick of it. I welcome someone blunt, without an agenda or hidden feelings.

"You creep me out." He finally says, leaning back to look at the sight. Most girls wouldn't be pleased with that, but I know what he's trying to say.

I laugh.

"Yeah, I know."

We stay like that for the rest of the period. Neither of us talk, because it would be useless. Our agreement is strange, but both of us understand without having to say anything. We both have things to think about. What could he be thinking about? His old friends? What just happened? Troubles? Cotton candy?

As for me, over three fourths of my time is spent wishing I'd brought my favorite manga with me today. I left it at home, figuring I would do homework during lunch. Never thought I'd end up skipping class.

Then again, I also never thought someone would have the guts to insult me so bluntly, but there you have it. Life has a tendency to surprise you.

I close my sweater, wishing for the umpteenth time it was the middle of summer.

"I heard something funny just now, Belle." Edward falls in step with me as we walk towards the cafeteria during lunchtime.

I hum.

"What could it be? I'm positive it's a perverted joke. Those are the best." I say, my voice airy. I don't feel like doing a serious talk.

"No, even funnier," he keeps looking straight ahead as he delivers the punchline. "I heard you skipped class. And even better, Marks did too."

"So what might your conclusion be?" I roll my eyes, and do what I do best: avoid the topic. "I know. Romeo and I are having a secret affair and this morning was all a plot so we could have a few periods to ourselves." I raise an eyebrow, even if he can't see me, to express my sarcasm.

"Romeo?"

"Oh shit. We were found out. Houston! Abort the mission!" I screech, panicking (only half of me is acting -I really did forget to shut up about the nickname), and take off running to the cafeteria, trying to escape Edward's clutches.

Everyone ignores our display of love (well, Edward's right now is a display of scorn). They're used to me being chased or chasing one of the boys. We pass a few teachers that yell at us to not run in the halls, knock over a few books, and encounter Jamie and Ben along the way.

Those two assholes join Edward in chasing after me.

Ben's a little slower, but that's because he's not used to chasing 3D things.

"BELLA! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" I can hear Edward yelling after me. I dodge a girl that's carrying a stack of books up the stairs, and Edward and Jamie manage to dodge her as well, but poor Ben's reflexes aren't that good. He knocks over the poor girl, thankfully when they're on one of those big stairs that mark the change from the lower to upper floor.

One down, two to go.

Damn.

"Why are we chasing Bella?" I hear Jamie ask Edward, but I don't turn back to see just how close they are.

"She says she's having an affair with Jazz's cousin!"

Geez they're loud.

"The asshole?"

Gossip travels faster than light, huh?

"Yeah! And she called him Romeo!" Edward's huffing alerts me to the fact that he's running out of gas. Good, that bastard has the worst physical condition I've ever seen. He'll tire soon enough, and then I just have to deal with Jamie.

"Don't worry, Cullen! I'll make sure to capture Bella!" Those idiots sound like they're making lifelong promises, with how serious they sound. Jamie even sounds touched by Edward's thoughtfulness.

"You'll never catch me!" I scream like a villain, cackle and all included. We're in the first floor now, but I'm making a beeline from here to the parking lot instead of the cafeteria or courtyard. Jamie can't stand the heat from the asphalt, which is why he plays basketball under the condition that it's indoors.

I'm taking that ass down _now_.

When we pass the open cafeteria doors, I catch a glimpse of Jazz standing beside Romeo, and both are talking to Emmett. We make such a ruckus that those three glance up as Jamie and I pass by. Jazz sits down, simply because he never has the energy to move. Told you, he's a lazy motherfucker. Romeo doesn't know what's going on, so it's no wonder he doesn't follow. But Emmett is well trained, so he takes off after Jamie and I, catching up to Jamie quickly.

"What are we doing?" I hear him ask Jamie.

I'm sort of scared now. I have a football and basketball player after me. And Emmett is a linebacker. He's pure muscle.

Mommy, I'm gonna be crushed.

"Capturing Bella and bringing her to Edward!"

"Is she avoiding the issue?"

"Yup!"

"You assholes, I can hear you all the way over here!" I screech, making a sharp turn in to the right, hoping they'll have too much impulse and crash. No such thing, though.

"We know!" I hear, just as I burst into the school's backyard.

I'm laughing now. I love running, and interacting with these idiots makes me happy. I hope we can stay like this forever. Joking, playing, just being ourselves.

I linger too much in my thoughts, unknowingly slow down a bit, and get caught by Emmett.

Damn, I couldn't lose either of them.

"Let me go, Emmett." I gasp out, because the quarterback is squishing the living daylights out of me.

"Sure thing." He hands me over to Jamie, who swings me over his shoulder in a way that would have me showing the school my panties if I was wearing a skirt.

"Jamie, my favorite James Hunter in the whole wide world, please don't hand me over to Edward. It's gonna hurt." I plead, whacking his back. I can't even kick him, because Jamie has predicted my actions and is holding me around my waist and my ankles.

"Nope. You know what we have to do now, Bella. It's for your own good."

I do know.

Damn this summer.

So when we enter the cafeteria, the crowd ignoring us like usual, I'm near shitting myself with how nervous I am. Edward is already at the table, sitting on top of it. Emmett had raced over, so he's sitting on one side, along with Ben, who's apparently recovered. Jazz isn't there, more than likely because Edward was kind enough to tell him to beat it. I know what's going to follow. Those four are going to squeeze the truth out of me, not sparing poor Romeo any mercy. Which would put Jazz in an awkward position, seeing as Romeo's family and all.

Jamie sets me down on the lone chair at the side of the table closest to the windows. The rest are sitting side by side across from me. Edward has Jamie to his right and Emmett, then Ben to his left. My wrists and ankles are tied to the chair using their school ties.

Kids, this is the wrong use for school uniforms.

"On a grade from 1 to 10 how much did Marks's words hurt? Nothing below 1 or above 10 is accepted. And no, Swan, 'fuck off' or 'not that much' are not acceptable answers." Ben takes over the inquiry, pushing his glasses so they don't slip off his nose. Surprisingly, Ben can have the most 'no-bullshit' aura out of the six of us. It might be the glasses. He's my brother from another mother when it comes to video-games. We beat the other's ass with pretty much the same frequency. Of course, I would always win against him if I could practice at home. But I don't have a TV, much less games or a game console. I play when I go over to the boys' house, but I don't go _that_ often (only, like, ten times a month).

"I give it like a 2. I'm ok. No suicidal thoughts over here. No need to send me to the looney bin. Can I go now?" I reply in a bored voice, even though I know what the answer is going to be.

"No."

Ouch, four no's at once?

"Were you skipping classes with Riley Marks?" Ben leans forward, glasses glinting. He really does look like a geek. My heart gives a painful thump at that. How awful. Must I always be reminded?

"No. We just happened to meet each other. No, I'm not secretly dating him. No, I don't have a crush on him. Yes, I forgave him. No, it has to do with the fact that he's Jasper's cousin. No, that's not my only reason. Am I asking you to befriend him? No, I'm not, but it would be nice. Is this conversation over yet? Yes, it is. Now untie me, you sadistic bastards."

I'm on a roll, baby.

The four are silent for a bit, before questions start up again.

"Why did you forgive him?"

"Didn't you know he has a record, Bella?"

"Now that this conversation is over, I'm going to go buy some food."

"Why do you call him _Romeo_?"

I shall answer each question in order.

"Jamie, it's because I'm a kind soul that wishes for global peace. Ben, no I didn't, but thanks for the more than likely false information. Emmett, please feed that bottomless pit known as your stomach. And Edward, it's because his middle name is Paris. You know, like Paris Hilton, Paris of Troy or Paris from _Romeo and Juliet_. Anything else?"

"You're so full of shit."

"I'm never wrong."

"Thanks, sister, you understand my needs."

"You serious? Did his mother hate his guts or something?" Edward laughs, finally letting go of the matter. Well, he and I already talked, so I guess he knows I'm not that affected by it. I sigh in relief, thankful that he let it go.

"She was going through a phase. You know, like our moms?" we laugh, silently cursing our mothers a bit for our old names. "Anyways, untie me. People are staring."

"Haters will be haters."

Ben is already gone, probably heading towards the library.

It makes me terribly sad. Ben hasn't been hanging around me much for the last month.

The reason?

Jacob Black, Ben's ex-best buddy for gaming.

Also my ex-boyfriend.

I shall now explain the elusive events in a very quick point-by-point.

Jake and I met through Ben the last week of December. We dated for a while. I fell for him hard. He turned out to be a coward. When he was through with me, he fled to the other coast when my sophomore year was over. It hit me so hard I tried committing suicide. It left some deep scars, so on my wrists I wear wristbands and I always wear a sweater.

 _"Hey Belly Bean, what's up?"_

 _"Edward... can you come over now?"_

Obviously, I'm leaving out some important details, but all in good time.

But yeah, Ben still feels guilty for introducing me to Jake. The week after my breakup, Edward didn't let Ben get near me until he was positive Ben had nothing to do with Jacob anymore. It took a while to convince Edward, and longer still for Ben to approach me on his own. Now, two months later, Ben just gets skittish around me. I'm still thinking of ways to get him to understand I don't blame him.

They all leave, Edward thankfully after untying me.

I look for Jazz after I've gone upstairs to collect my backpack, which I'd thrown aside in my haste to escape Edward and the rest.

I find him sitting alone in the art room, sketching the sky and a tree. I take out my camera, a gift from Uncle Carlisle, and take a picture from the same thing. Jazz is startled, and he looks back. When he sees me leaning against the doorway, he flushes and turns away.

I'm ticked off, so I stroll to his side and slap the back of his head.

"Hey!"

"That sketch looks nice." And it does. Jazz is a terrific artist. He stops drawing, but keeps looking down at his sketch book.

"Bella, I..."

"Don't you dare say you're sorry, Jazz. It's not your fault that your cousin is an ass." I grab a stool and sit down next to him. He still refuses to look at me, so I start taking pictures of his profile. He's used to it, because I often use the boys as my models. Have I mentioned they're all handsome? Because they are.

Jazz is probably one of the most handsome guys in school, with his skater looks. Curly blond hair, baby blue eyes and fit body. His profile is the best for taking pictures, too.

"I'm scared." He confesses, blowing away some trash that fell on his sketch book. He has the window open, so leafs tend to blow in along with the trash the wind picks up.

"What of?"

"Edward hating me, Jamie ignoring me, Ben avoiding me and Emmett pushing me aside. Just like what happened with Ben, even though it wasn't his fault. And... I don't want you to hate me, Bella. I really don't. If it wasn't for you and Edward, I wouldn't have any friends or love my art as much as I do. Before, drawing was like a curse for me. I couldn't stop. Then all of you came along, and made me see loving drawing and painting was fine. And if it was ruined because of Riley, then I..."

"His name isn't Riley anymore." I interrupt, breaking the mood. He's on the verge of crying, and I feel like a bully. He hasn't cried since he became our friend. I swore to myself I wouldn't let Jazz cry again. "It's Romeo. And you better call him that, cause I've already informed everyone else."

Jazz finally turns to look at me. I sigh in relief. Even though his eyes are red, he hasn't started crying. Jazz is a very emotionally fragile boy. And even though he doesn't mind being alone, he can't stand loneliness.

Jazz blinks.

"Romeo?" then he laughs, shaking his head at himself. "Oh, you found out about his middle name. Does he know?"

"Yup. He was the first one informed of his new name." I hope down from my stool, then stretch. I lean over and give Jazz a hug. I love hugging. I'm a touchy-feely person. The boys are used to it. At first, all but Edward were surprised, because I'm not girly at all.

"Jazz, I would never let Edward or any of the others kick you out of the gang without a damn good reason. And let me tell you, Romeo's insults suck, anyways. So don't worry about me." Jazz laughs, hugging me back. I step back, wipe away a tear that fell from his eye.

"You have a very loyal cousin, you know? Romeo puts you above his own high school life. I'm pretty sure he already knew what would happen if he insulted me, right?" Jazz sighs, nodding.

"That idiot. I don't know what possessed him to do that."

I'm in the doorway by the time I answer that.

"Didn't you hear? Your family thinks that I'm your girlfriend. I would tell Alice, but I'm afraid that would cause a big misunderstanding." I snicker, and run away before the flying eraser can hit me. "Don't forget to wait for her!" I call down the empty hall.

Oh, I do love messing with Jazz.

School ends without further problems, but it would be idiotic otherwise, since there's only one period left today after lunch. Edward wants to walk me home, but I blow him off and claim to have too much homework. I've gotta get to one of my part-time jobs. He doesn't know about them, which is fine with me. I don't want his family to know just how broken my mom is. Aunt Esme thinks that mom and I don't get along because of her habit of getting drunk, but that's not it. I don't care if mom drowns her sorrows. I just wish she didn't do it with the next month's rent.

My life sounds much more dramatic than it actually is.

Today, I'm heading over to the bookstore. It's the favorite of my three part-times. Whenever I have some money left, either because mom drank a little less and contributed more to the bills or because I made a little extra, I buy the books I can. I normally take turns in buying regular books or manga. Some months, I buy neither because I have to buy more memory for my camera or fix a broken piece.

But yeah, to the bookstore.

It's this rundown place with unexpectedly great pay. I work four shifts a week, four hours every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (I normally work about six hours on Saturdays). Mondays and Wednesdays I give tutoring sessions, and on Thursdays and Sundays I work as a waitress in a fancy restaurant. Needless to say, Mondays and Thursdays are like hell for me. On Monday I go straight from school to the tutoring, then at five I clock in at the bookstore. On Thursdays, which is a half day at school, I head straight to the bookstore, and then from five to ten I waitress.

Truly, I don't have enough lifetimes for this shit, and yet here I am.

So, today is a Thursday. School ended the period after lunch, as always. Right now, I have to hurry to the bookstore.

Ten minutes later, I'm dumping my shit in the front desk. I take my seat, open up my notebooks, and start doing my homework.

It's gonna be a _long_ day, I can feel it.

A couple hours after my shift started, the doorbell rings. Customers are few and far in between, but it's a constant flow. There's hardly ever any new customers, but today, I'm surprised when I see Romeo come in.

Shit. I've been working here for the last two years, and not once has a classmate come here. And yet this dude did.

Am I a lucky bastard or what?

"Romeo! A displeasure to see you, as always. What can I do for you in this rainy afternoon?" I smile brightly, filled with sarcasm.

Romeo isn't amused.

" _Just_ who I wanted to see. Tell me, is there a particular reason why you're working in a bookstore two bus stops away from school?" he approaches the front desk. Nobody's here right now, making it just the two of us.

I shrug.

"The pay is good." I tell him, not bothering to tell him the rest. I don't even tell him to keep it a secret from the gang, because the chances of him talking to them are pretty damn low. Besides, it's not the end of the world if my friends know I have a part-time job. Now, if they knew I had _three_ , that's another story.

"There's another bookstore closer to town, and the pay is better. Much better. Why not work there?"

He's ticking me off with his questions.

"Because I figure it's nobody's beeswax what I do in my free time." I snap, even throwing in there a bitch-brow.

"Whatever."

I want to punch him. I hate that answer.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I challenge, watching him as he runs his hand down one of the bookshelves.

"What do you think, genius? Buying school books in the nearest _book_ store to my place."

"Smart." I praise sarcastically, then sigh, looking down at my notebook. I'm almost done with the physics homework. I don't have the energy to chew him out on his rudeness. "The books you're looking for are at the back, near the window. In the classical section." I point, but Romeo makes no move.

"Hey, Bella..." his voice makes me looks up. It sounds like something is wrong, and upon further inspection of his face, his emotionless face does have a hint of worry.

"What up?"

"Can I ever make Cullen and the rest not hate me? I mean, everyone's been glaring at me like I killed one of their family members in cold blood."

"Well, you did insult me. I can count two teachers that don't like you anymore and four out of the six of us in the gang that won't let you off the hook so easily. That, without counting the rest of the school. And let me tell you, just within the gang -not counting me- you're facing two karate black-belts, one of them being a basketball player, a football player and a geek better left alone if angered. If you count me, you have three karate black-belts. So your chances of making up with the school ain't looking too bright, my friend."

Romeo throws his head back, looking at the ceiling.

"So everyone hates me, huh?" I say yes. "Thanks for the support."

"Why are you so interested in not being hated? Somehow, you don't seem like the type of guy to care."

It's the truth. Everything about this guy screams 'FUCK OFF!' and yet, here he is, asking me for help. Sort of.

"So Jazz hasn't told you." he sighs, sort of in disbelief.

"Believe it or not, Jazz is the quiet type. He just told me today his cousin would be transferring."

"Well, there was a reason for my transferring here so suddenly."

"You got expelled?" Can there be any other reason?

"Shut up," he snaps. I make a motion for him to proceed. "When I got expelled, I had the option to either go to military school or go to Jazz's school and be supervised. Truly, I wanted to get into military school." Now, that's a shock. "But..." he mumbles something incomprehensible.

I glare. Then I tell him to speak loud and clear.

"..."

"What?"

"The girl I like goes to this school!" He shouts.

The doorbell rings.

"Welcome to Hazel Bookstore, if there's anything you need Mrs. Jackson, just give me a shout." I smile pleasantly at the old lady that came in. I like her. She always buys erotica and makes me laugh real hard.

"Hi dear, girl problems?" she laughs.

"Yup. Hey, Mrs. Jackson, this guy here is exactly your type."

"A troublemaker?"

"You know it. I'm just helping him pour his heart out for the lucky girl."

"Oh, now, don't make him too sweet. The cold and aloof personality is the best." Mrs. Jackson winks and disappears into the erotica section.

I grin at Romeo, who looks like he's a little bit in shock.

"That's Mrs. Jackson. She reads erotica. Anyways, you were saying the girl you like goes to this school? Do I know her?"

Romeo has just gone through a mental bleach, obvious because he's ignoring the Mrs. Jackson matter.

"She used to be really into gaming at the arcade a few months ago. She always went with her uniform, so that's how I know this is her school."

I wait for him to elaborate further.

He doesn't.

"Do you know her name?" he shakes his head. "Age?" head shake. "Class?" No.

"Let me guess. She's beautiful, has a great smile and you fell in love at first sight. She has big boobs, long hair and a tiny waist. You saw her around the arcade every once in a while, probably with a bunch of friends. Did I get anything wrong?"

"Nope. Spot on."

"I don't know if I should punch you or cry for you." I'm so disappointed. Love at first sight is bullshit. That's why I don't read shoujo (girl) manga. It's filled with instances where the girl has seen the boy around the train station and falls for him, only to find out he's a perverted asshole, yet she insists she loves him. Or she falls for the guy that helped her up when she fell, and he turns out to be an asshole. There's a pattern in love at first sight, my friends. Never ends well. It's shallow, obsessive and creepy.

When I fell in love with Jake, it certainly wasn't because of his looks. Even though they didn't hurt.

"Huh? Why?"

Is this guy for real? His story might sound sort of sweet and whatnot, but this is real life.

But Romeo (I see the resemblance to his namesake right now, shallow and air-headed) keeps looking at me with those expressionless eyes, and for a second, I can see the love. He does love her. Maybe he's in love with the idea of her, but it's love. I shouldn't be bitter just because my first love almost killed me.

"Ugh, fine. I'll help you get in good graces with Edward. And I'll even help you find this girl. But you have to do what I say. No ifs or buts. You get me?"

Romeo looks bored. But he nods nonetheless.

This guy.

"For now, just buy the damned school books and get out of here. Tomorrow, we'll talk during lunch break. I'll talk to Jazz, too. We'll figure something out."

Romeo comes back with the books. I ring them up, and when I give him the change, he talks again.

"Bella, why are you doing this? You don't owe me shit. And this'll make everyone suspicious, you know. You helping me."

I stuff the receipt in his bag.

"You're Jazz's cousin. You can't be all that bad. And I feel sort of guilty about Edward's influence over the school." I hand him his purchase. "Now, have a nice day, Romeo."

Romeo stops in the doorway.

"Thanks, Bella."

The rest of the day goes by quickly. The tips are average, the customers behave for the most part and I get home half past ten. Mom still isn't home, but that's alright. She's working the night shift today, meaning she'll get here, drunk, at about five in the morning. I'll wake up, put her to bed and sleep for another hour before I have to get up.

The house is in a shady part of town. We've lived here for some ten years, and the house still looks as barren as when we got here. I don't worry about having a break-in, though, despite the neighborhood. We've lived here long enough to make friends with everyone, and the people here sympathize with our situation. However cheesy it sounds, we're like a family. Sometimes, a neighbor will be out in the middle of the night, and help my mom get here with as little ruckus as possible. I grew up around these guys. Even the delinquents don't scare me anymore. If anything, some of them helped me practice karate when I was still learning.

And dude, if all else fails, I know how to pick-pocket.

But none of my friends have been here. Nobody knows my situation, either. Aunt Esme knows mom is an alcoholic, but thinks my father left us some money and that this is a recent problem. Uncle Carlisle has an inkling, though, so he insists I eat at his house. He gives me gifts, like my camera or my phone. During winter, mom and I survived because Uncle Carlisle would 'conveniently' give me warm clothes, blankets and socks. The Cullens have been the miracle mom and I needed.

But I don't let this get me down. I love my mom, simply because she didn't run out on me. And she cares. During the week of my birthday and Christmas, she won't drink. She'll spend a few more hours with me and take me out to dinner as a present.

I fall asleep thinking of ways to get Romeo into Edward's good graces.

" _Fuck_!" I hear the whispered curse. It's five in the morning, just like I predicted. Mom is stumbling, and I follow the hushed curses. She's trying to properly close the door, but her hands are shaking and she can't get the key in.

"Mom, be careful not to wake the neighbors." I scold her in a raspy voice, pushing her aside so I can close the door.

"Belle!" mom hugs me tightly. Well, at least she's friendly today. "Baby, I missed you so much. Why can't you work with me at the bar, huh?"

"I'm not old enough." I reply, tired of this question. It's the same as always. I help mom get into her room, getting elbowed a few times.

"Belly, have I told you how much you look like your dad? Just as beautiful. Same brown eyes. Oh, honey, you're too pretty," mom mumbles as I lay her down, bucket beside the bed, as always. I don't answer. It sounds like a compliment, and in a way it is, but mom saying it reminds me that she hasn't gotten over my father.

Suddenly, mom pulls me down, hugging me. The stench of alcohol isn't so big today, so I figure she's only half out of her mind.

"Baby, my Belly, I'm so sorry. I wasn't there for you. I'm so glad you were found, Belle. I love you so much, I'm so glad you're ok." Mom is crying, hugging me even tighter.

I want to cry with her, but I hold myself in check. Crying with a drunk person isn't good.

I know her words are truthful. Aunt Esme told me that the whole time I was in the hospital, mom didn't drink or eat. She just sat beside me, crying. She told Aunt Esme she was relieved I hadn't tried killing myself in our house, because I wouldn't have been found in time, otherwise.

I felt so ashamed.

I go back to my room and go back to sleep.

* * *

 **As you can see, Bella's had a few rough... years. Btw, this was actually going to be a longer chapter, but FFN's been giving me trouble with uploading loads of text. So instead of leaving an odd cliff-hanger, I'm making it a bit shorter than it was meant to be. I'll rush chapter 3... if we get to 20 followers. :)) Again, you (the reader) showing me you like this story is my motivation.**

 **Leah.**


	3. Charlie Escapist

**Hey people! Ok, so I know I'm breaking my promises again. I'm bad like that. I just realized that I have rare free time for the next few weeks or so, so I'm going to try and publish as many chapters as I can. Right now, you'll notice I'll do a mini posting spree. Enjoy :)**

 **DISCLAIMER: I THINK I OWN SEVERAL EXTRA POUNDS, AT MOST.**

* * *

"RISE AND SHINE, MY FLOWER! TODAY IS A NEW DAY AND YOU CAN FUCK AS MANY GIRLS AS YOU - _Oof_!" Edward throws me off his bed, effectively shutting me up.

"Bella, go to hell."

"I believe I'll make a pit stop at the kitchen, then. I'll eat your breakfast if you don't hurry."

I've done it before.

I skip down the stairs.

Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle are at the table. Breakfast is served and Tanya is already walking out the door. She says goodbye to everyone, then tells me to kick Edward for her.

"Hey Aunt Esme." I dump my ass on my usual seat, digging into my food. Aunt Esme's mood is so palpable, I pretend I don't feel it. However, it becomes impossible to ignore when she sits beside me and jerks my chin her way.

"Isabella Swan, will you please explain to me what it is I heard yesterday? Something about a boy calling you names?"

"Don't worry about that. It's no biggie." I try turning my head to shove some bacon in my mouth, but Aunt Esme won't have that. She scrutinizes me.

"Edward says he called you an ugly tomboy. And that yesterday, you cried. Now, tell me the truth, Bella. How are you?"

When is she going to let that go?

"I'm fine. Look, Aunt Esme, believe me when I say I appreciate you worrying about me. However, I already spoke with the guy who insulted me. It was a misunderstanding. I know my limits better now."

Aunt Esme looks teary eyed, but thankfully, she lets go of my face. I eat while she talks.

"I'm just so afraid of you hurting yourself again because we were all too busy to notice. I know for a fact Edward still hasn't forgiven himself, and I haven't either. We were all so careless..." Aunt Esme hiccups. I don't know what to do or say. Truth is, I still haven't completely forgiven Edward. But he's different.

He could've stopped me.

I give Uncle Carlisle a look that clearly implores him to help me.

"There there, dear. Bella is alive, healthy and eating up the food in our house."

That's true. A good indication of something being wrong is if I don't eat.

Truly, how _did_ they not realize something was wrong?

Edward arrives in that moment, saving me from another awkward situation. We leave, but not before Uncle Carlisle has a quick word with me.

"How's Renée?" he asks, and I know he's not asking about her alcohol intake.

"Better. It's been a good month." And it has. Mom hasn't been consuming as much, so there's a bit more money for me to spend on, say, hot water.

"You know I can help, right?"

"Uncle Carlisle, you were more than enough help with the hospital bills. Mom won't take another dime." She's been quite adamant about it, too. She has too much pride.

"I just wish we could do more for you." Uncle Carlisle sighs. He's grown old very quickly. One day, he suddenly had a few more wrinkles and a few more white hairs to his already white-blonde hair. Stress has been eating at him, and I wish mom and I didn't contribute to it. I know mom will be terribly sad to hear 'The Handsome Carlisle', as she's always referred to him, has aged.

"Uncle Carlisle, you do more than enough by not saying anything to Aunt Esme or Edward. Everything's going to be ok." I promise, but even to me, the words sound shaky. I can want for things to work out as much as I want, but I don't know the future. Anything could happen.

"If you say so, dear."

I don't throw a tantrum where I claim to be old enough to make decisions. I don't demand trust. Because with my suicide attempt, it was all taken away from me. I obviously don't make the best decisions. I obviously can't be trusted with a knife.

So I don't say anything to his tone, which obviously says he doesn't believe I can take care of myself. I don't say anything because I know he's saying this because he cares.

"Yo Belle, we're going to be late!"

I say goodbye to Uncle Carlisle and then join Edward.

We walk a few minutes in silence as he chews his toast.

"Tell me." Edward sighs. Our silences are never because we don't know what to say, but because we don't know how to say it.

"I want you to give Romeo another chance." Edward starts complaining the second I say Romeo. "Listen to me!"

Edward stops, grabs my shoulders, makes me look at him.

"No, _you_ listen to me! I won't do this again, Bella! I know you can go around forgiving shit-heads because they said something you didn't like, but I'm not like that! I can't stand to see you get hurt like this every single time! And even though you would never admit it, I know Black had been bullying you psychologically for far longer than you're willing to admit! And I refuse to get home to find a pool of blood in my bathroom again because you were too stupid to see you were being used!" Edward shouts, attracting little attention because there's very few people.

I slap Edward.

Now, I don't tend to get violent. That's not my style. I might be one of the boys, but I'm still a lady.

But right now, Edward's words sting, and I want him to hurt a fraction of what he hurt me.

Now and then.

"You know, maybe you wouldn't have found a pool of blood in your bathroom if you'd bothered to listen to your supposed best friend instead of-" I breathe in deep. "You know something? Whatever. This isn't about us. It's about Romeo, and how I want you to take the little tag that says 'Ignore If It Speaks And Avert Your Gaze' off of him."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll tell your mother who exactly broke her favorite glass swan three Christmases ago, and you'll finally get the scolding you deserve."

 _Or I'll tell your mother the reason I almost killed myself was you._

I'll go with the glass swan. Aunt Esme blamed Emmett for months and wouldn't let him in the house.

 _"Hey Belly Bean, what's up?"_

 _"Edward... can you come over now?"_

 _"Erm, you see... Remember that hot babe from the diner? Yeah, well, uh... I'm sort of in the middle of something, so..."_

What a jackass. Couldn't even call it sex.

"Why do you care so much?" Edward spits out, his normally beautiful eyes blazing with scorn.

"Because that guy is Jasper's cousin, and Jazz is our friend. Because that guy had the guts to speak up even though he knew he'd be shunned. So get off your high horse and help me get Romeo back in the school's good graces."

I spend the rest of our walk telling him what I learnt yesterday. I tell him that Romeo thought Jazz and I were together, and I tell him of the screwed up/honorable task on Romeo's behalf (making sure his cousin's 'girlfriend' wouldn't get too interested in the new, hot guy). I tell him about Romeo's ridiculous love story.

By the time we get to school, Edward is feeling a little bit more forgiving. Doesn't mean he likes Romeo, but laughing for ten minutes about Romeo's resemblance to his namesake does seem to lift his mood.

"When did you learn all this, by the way?" Edward asks the dreaded questions when we enter the school gate.

I, my friend, am a great liar. Sad, but true and necessary.

"When we skipped together. I learnt about Jazz's crush on me while on the way to Nurse Jackie's, though," that's how you lie. You inject the falseness with a little but of truth.

"Does he know?"

Damn, I wish I didn't know what he's asking about.

"Not a damn thing, and that's how I want to keep it. If I can prevent the whole school from finding out, I think I can prevent a love struck fool from noticing some scars and awkward atmosphere." I hitch my backpack higher, avoiding looking at Edward. He has something to say, something important.

I avoid it.

"Say, do you want to go somewhere today? I've got a craving for cookies that can only be cured with Mrs. Fields."

We haven't hung out together in a few weeks, and today especially I want him to hang out with him. I think we both know that walking to (and occasionally from) school is the most our friendship can take right now. We're just at an impasse. Neither of us will talk, and when one tries, the other avoids. Like now.

"Can't. I already promised Jessica I'd go out with her today."

My mouth drops, and I look at him with an outraged aura.

"You're going to fuck her even though she insulted me _yesterday_? And made me cry?" I screech, feeling like I can stab my best friend with no qualms.

"Calm your ass down, Swan. She was gossiping. It's a girl thing. Her shit with you has nothing to do with me. I mean, she had no ill intentions like Marks." Edward rolls his eyes at me.

I snap.

"Oh, so she can rip me up however she likes cause she's a girl, and it's a girl thing to insult others. So if Jessica calls me an ugly tomboy, it's ok. I mean, it's only harmless gossip. But if it's Romeo who does it, who had no actual ill intentions, he's a monster that's going to make me cut myself. Wow, I see. It has to do with you if the party that insulted me is not a plausible fuck buddy. Otherwise, you can blow it off and assume I'll blow it off as well. You know, cause that's me taking it like a man." I sneer at him, low enough so only he can hear.

"What the hell is wrong with you? All I'm saying is that I talked with her about it, and she said she's sorry. If it really bothers you, I'll call off the date and go with you to stupid Mrs. Fields." Edward frowns, almost like he doesn't get my anger.

What an ass.

"No, please, don't stop on my account. I'd be troubled if you didn't get laid because of me." I hiss.

Edward stops breathing. It's the exact same thing I told him before I slit my wrists.

"Hey Belly Bean, what's up?"

"Edward... can you come over now?"

"Erm, you see... Remember that hot babe from the diner? Yeah, well, uh... I'm sort of in the middle of something, so..."

"But Tony, I really need a shoulder to cry on right now. I'm afraid I might do something stupid."

"Belle, this girl is an eleven. I can't let her go. She's like twenty-four or something, and she's interested in a seventeen-year-old kid. A miracle. I'd die of embarrassment if I left now."

"Hey, you know what? Don't stop on my account. I'd be troubled if you didn't get laid because of me."

Bad choice of words, Swan.

Edward still doesn't seem to be breathing.

"I apologize, I shouldn't have phrased it that way. Rest assured, I won't die before I see Romeo get the girl of his dreams. So you can rest easy and have fun with Jessica."

I turn to walk away, but Edward grabs my wrist and approaches me.

"Bella, that night can be classified as the worst night of my life. Right now, you just said the exact same thing before you made a bloodbath in my bathroom. So you bet your ass I'm not going to let you out of my sight today."

"No." I put my foot down. Literally and figuratively. "I refuse. I already learnt a lesson, ok? So stop being a pain and-"

I stop myself. I see what I'm doing. Today more than any other day I have to be careful of my attitude. I know I'm just raw right now. So I take a few steps back, finish turning and hug Edward tightly, holding unto his neck and bringing his head down.

"Edward... What happened to us? I have to ask you if we'll match during Halloween. We fight about stupid shit that normally wouldn't have affected us. We keep blowing each other off. We stopped listening to each other. Ed... I broke us."

It's the truth. Ever since my suicide attempt, everything started falling apart. We don't talk anymore. Our conversations are shallow and we don't give a crap about each other. Yesterday, Edward's anger was forced, I'm sure. It came out of a sense of duty. And the only one to blame is the girl that was stupid enough to think death would solve everything.

"Belle..." he hugs me tighter. "We're trying, ok? What happened is no joke. Right now, we're in the middle of adapting to the effects. We'll get there."

The bell rings. We have five minutes to get to class.

Walking arm in arm, we make our way to Math.

-.-.-.-

"Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen, I'm surprised to see there's no show today." Mr. Banner sarcastically comments. The class is in the progress of sitting down, so right now there's some ruckus.

"Mr. Banner, didn't you know?" Edward begins, then lets me finish. This is us. In sync and with the same dumb humor.

"Today's a holiday. Universally known as No Running in Class Day. It's a day very much appreciated by the teachers."

"Uh-huh. Take a seat, Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Class began five minutes ago."

"Yes sir!" We both salute.

Because of our tardiness, the awkward decision of who to sit with is cleared. Jazz is sitting with Romeo, probably not letting him sit with me in order not to cause chaos. Which means I'll sit with Edward, thus elongating the awkwardness between us.

"Jazz. Romeo." I greet quietly as I take my seat in front of them. Both of them answer with "Bella" which doesn't make Edward all that happy.

"Hey Edward." Jazz greets, and Edward cheerfully answers back. Then he ignores Romeo.

So I elbow him.

"Wardo, play nice," my glare tells him what I want him to do.

"Hey Marks, I see you're tired of picking on girls for the time being." Edward hisses, then grunts when my foot digs into his thigh. This bitch. I glare at him. That hypocrite. "Whatever."

I glare at Romeo too, mouthing to him to shut up and not answer. His fists clench, but he remains silent.

I turn around and focus on Mr. Banner's uninteresting teachings of mathematics.

Class ends without a hitch. Nobody gets hit, no insults are thrown around.

"Bella! Wait up!" It's Jazz, and he has Romeo on his tail. When Edward sees them, he grabs my arm and makes me walk faster.

"Wardo, what in this world is wrong with you? You're acting like an ass." I hiss at him, forcefully making him let go of my arm. He's scowling, making me angry over the fact that he's still pretty damn hot.

"Belle, he called you..."

I know.

"Let it _go_. Unbelievable. You're angry at Romeo but not at Jessica. Screw you and your twisted logic." I step back and fall in step with Jazz and Romeo.

"Lover's quarrel?" Jazz swings an arm around my shoulder. Edward's glare is scalding.

"Something like that." I sigh, wrapping an arm around his waist. "He's been strange lately. I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"You did." Jazz affirms, so the mushy moment is over and I elbow him. I'd probably chase him, but Jasper used up his energy quota yesterday when he chased me around the classroom.

"You asshole. I'm telling Ali-" I shut up, then start smiling evilly. "How'd it go yesterday with Alice, by the way?"

"Who's Alice?" Romeo asks. I start speaking, but Jasper puts a hand over my mouth.

So I form the shape of a heart with my hands, and Romeo understands.

"Your girlfriend?"

I make a so-so gesture.

Jazz realizes clamping my mouth shut is futile unless he binds my hands as well, so he lets go.

"Come on, Casper, tell me! I've been trying to hook you up for the last five months. Can't you return the favor by dating her?"

"No, because nobody ever asked you to interfere."

Wrong.

Alice did. And 'ask' is putting it lightly.

"Then tell me how yesterday went." I'm a stubborn old ass, I'll tell you that. I want to know about yesterday. I went out of my way to lie.

"Fine. She helped me get the paint I needed. I walked her home. End of story."

"Brooding artists are so bitchy, wouldn't you agree, Romeo?"

Romeo is concentrated on something else.

"Is it just me, or is Cullen's glare scalding enough to burn through my soul?"

I follow Romeo's trail of sight, and indeed I see his glare is that hot. It's aimed at all of us, so I return the glare.

"Why is he pissed off at you?" Romeo asks. I shrug, because I really don't understand it, either.

"He's angry I don't see what a monster you are, and I'm pissed he isn't supportive of Jazz's cousin. He's just being childish. If we ignore him, he'll get bored and stop."

Unfortunately, we don't have enough time to enact our plan since we get to the Biology class in that moment, but we will soon enough.

"I'm sorry you're fighting with Edward because of me."

Now I feel guilty. It's not his fault. Well, not completely.

"Don't worry about it. Things between Edward and I have been tense for the last few months, so anything could've triggered his assholeness."

When lunch gets here, I'm just about ready to storm off and kick Edward's skinny ass into next Friday. He ignores Romeo, trips Romeo, and glares at Romeo as much as humanly possible during the next two hours.

When I take out my camera, stuff my belongings in my locker and close the door, I find Jamie on the other side.

"Jamie, what brings you here today, to my humble side of the lockers?" I'm pleased to see Jamie. He always puts me in a good mood. Apart of Edward, he's my oldest friend. We met during second grade, when I started playing basketball in the back of the school with Edward. Jamie was all skinny back then, not very popular or talkative. He started hanging out with us, and soon enough, he was begging us to play ball with him. I think that's how he started liking the sport. Not long after, he became an official part of our duo.

He likes perverted jokes, but he's also the sweetest guy of the bunch. Nowadays, he's hilarious, kind, handsome and smart. But in my heart, he will always be the skinny boy with a stuttering problem.

"I come to ask in behalf of the gang if you will ever make up with Edward."

Nice, Hunter, just throw it at me, why don't you?

"Jamie..." I lean against the lockers. "It's not that we're fighting exactly."

"Really? Because right now, there's so much tension between the two of you it's making us all nervous." Jamie raises an eyebrow.

I feel really guilty all of a sudden.

It's not their fault. Nothing is.

"Tony... is just worried. I think he feels guilty about last summer, you know; that I blame him. I think he's just trying to protect me in his own twisted way."

"But do you? Blame him, I mean." Jamie's voice is soft, and his eyes want to search my soul. He's scared too. For the group and for me.

"Jamie..."

"I know you won't tell us exactly what you told Edward when you called him. But could he have prevented it?" his eyes are imploring, begging me to save this friendship.

"He could have." I answer, because I'm no good at lying. "I'm angry he put fucking the diner girl above me. I understand on some degree that I should've expected it. I'm worried I threw away seventeen years together in one night. But... more than blaming him or not, I feel angry. The logical part of me says it had happened before, and that none of it is Edward's fault. All I have to do is tell Edward I forgive him. But a part of me can't."

"Why don't you tell him this?"

"I can't. I have to let him cool down. Both of us are in bad standing right now, and neither of our decisions are making the other happy. It's just a matter of time."

Jamie hugs me, leaning so his head rests on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around him, thankful for the physical support.

"You know the gang loves you, right? Through good and bad times." he whispers in my ear.

"I wish I could go back in time. Then I wouldn't have met Jacob Black, and we'd still be goofing around like always." I whisper back.

"Bella, it's not about meeting or not meeting. What's done is done. All we can do is pretend to be ok, until it becomes reality."

Jamie steps back. He checks I'm fine, then flashes me a grin.

"And what's up with this Marks guy? Why are you standing up for him, huh? Do you have a thing for him?" Jamie wiggles his eyebrows, teasing me. I gasp in outrage.

"You ass! Why must kindness equal liking someone to you? That kind of shit only happens in books." I huff, pushing him back even further. "And I'll have you know, I genuinely like Romeo. As a person, not a fuck buddy." I say before Jamie can get a word in.

"Why? Didn't he insult you?"

"It's a long story. But in short, I like his honesty. Besides, forgive and forget, right?"

"Bella, we both know you never forget." True. "But what about Jessica? Can't you forgive her?"

Damn it, he's put me in an awkward position. And this is how I know he spoke to Edward, too. Only he would tell Jamie openly about our quarrels.

"Jamie, you know I don't get along with girls. Haven't for a long time."

"Try, ok? Don't go making every girl your enemy."

I pout, not sexily, but like a child would.

"Don't wanna."

Jamie looks at me pensively. Finally, he looks the other way.

"Race you to the basketball field." He tears off, and I go after him, calling him names.

School ends. Edward finds me just as I'm making my way out, then gives me a hug.

"Tell me the truth, Belle. Do you not want me to go out with Jessica? All you have to do is say the word."

I think about what Jamie said. About forgive and forget applying to women, too.

"It's fine. Just do me a favor, will you?" I lean on my tiptoes so I tell him directly in his ear. "If you're going to fuck her, do it hard enough she'll walk like a duck for days, ok?" I bite my lip to keep myself from grinning, but when he pulls back with an outraged face, I burst out laughing.

"You little monster. Has Jamie been putting ideas in your head?" I flash him an innocent look that doesn't really work for me. But hey, he started it.

"Well, I have to go." He kisses my cheek and walks off, to where Jessica is waiting at the school gates.

She sticks her tongue out at me when Edward looks away, but I flash her my middle finger.

"Fighting with Edward's sex friend of the day?" a voice whispers in my ear, making me jump.

"Emma!" I squeak out. "I don't know how it's possible for a linebacker to be so stealthy, but you are. I didn't even hear you coming."

And the guy is in full football gear.

He always has practice.

Emmett's story entering the group is linked with Ben's.

When we were in sixth grade, Emmett was the biggest bully in the whole school. Big, mean, handsome and popular. Ben was the opposite. Frail-looking, about my size, quiet and unknown. So Emmett became Ben's antagonist. He'd pick on him, throw him around, beat him up. Half way in the school year, I got wind of what was going on. I was mad with rage. I hated bullying.

So I called out the big bad Emmett McCarty, made fun of him, and beat him up. With Edward and Jamie's help, of course.

A few days later, I was wandering around town and found Emmett at the arcade, playing some video game with an eye half-closed from a fresh bruise. I went up to him and (after convincing him I wouldn't hit him again) made up. I realized that this guy was actually pretty fun to hang with. So then I told him:

"You know who else loves this kind of geeky games? Ben Cheney."

So we coordinated, and one day, I brought Ben to play some games. We all saw a new side to the geek, and realized just how passionate he was when it concerned gaming. Emmett saw it and admired him for his inner strength. After a few weeks, all of us were hanging out at the arcade, then at each other's house (except mine) until finally, we became the group we are today (minus Jazz).

And so, Emmett stopped being a bully and became a football player instead to take out his anger truly guided at his abusive father.

End of story.

"It's probably because you have no sense of balance and didn't feel the ground shake beneath you." Emmett flashes me his infamous grin, known to make a girl or two drop. If I think about it, all the men in our gang are pretty hot. And I mean nosebleed hot. So I guess it contributes to girls hating me. You know, I'm always hugging them, always around them and their hotness, while the rest of the female student body is stuck sighing after them.

"Emmett, we both know you're not that fat." I joke. He pushes me, for him lightly, for me two feet aside. This guy is all muscle.

"What's up? I didn't see you roaming around the school today during lunch. I couldn't find you in the cafeteria, in the schoolyard or the library. You exploring new places?"

"Oh, I was playing basketball with Jamie." Emmett raises his eyebrows in surprise; it's rare for me to take on Jamie, the basketball star. That's why he's always on my team.

"That's right, he told me he'd speak to you about the Edward issue. You ever going to make up with him?" Emmett cocks his head to the side.

"For the last time, we aren't fighting. We're trying. Hard. For the sake of the group, and our friendship. What I want to know is why all of you are being so gossipy about Edward and I."

Emmett raises his hands in fake innocence, walking away.

"It's all a matter of time before you two end up together!" He calls back, making me gasp in outrage. Me and Edward? I'd rather swallow nails than live with that womanizer as my lover.

I walk out of the school, feeling pretty down about life in general. I wish I could call up Jamie, Jazz, Ben, Emmett and Edward and go to the arcade like the old times. But we can't. Jamie is going to a pre-party, a party, and an after-party. Emmett will be going to the after-party, which is basically where the alcohol and drugs are located (he can't, though, cause he gets checked weekly for undesirables). Edward is going with Jessica and Jazz is going on a camping trip, useful for painting new sceneries. And then Ben, my beloved friend. He's on the run right now. From me.

Where does that leave me? I'll tell you where. In the diner (not the one Edward chose Ms. Hot over me from), eating chips, watching a baseball game and shouting at the TV. With the old dudes. It's ok though. I get along very well with Leo and Kyle, aged 105 and 140+.

"Well, you look like you're partying it up hard." Romeo appears out of nowhere, sitting beside me. I don't bother asking how he found me, because he probably asked Jazz who told him my hanging place.

"You kidding me? I bet you all youngsters are jealous of me and my drinking buddies." Leo, Kyle and I synchronize and raise our beverages at the same time. Mine's simple Diet Coke, theirs is something that resembles beer with milk.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure..." I let him grab my arm and lead me to outside the diner. It's past seven and dark out.

"I debated with myself a lot about telling you this or not, but..." Romeo is fidgeting, trying to get it out. Despite his rough looks, he seems very childish to me right now, in a cute way. It makes me want to laugh.

"Just let it out."

"Before I say anything, have you ever considered wearing more flattering clothes?" He points at my outfit with a non-approving face. It stings, but I retort.

"Hey, what's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

I glance at my basketball shorts, t-shirt that used to belong to Edward, vans and sweater.

He gives me a skeptical look.

"I just came back from the gym." Uncle Carlisle pays for my membership at the YMCA. He says it's important to stay fit, and since I can't join clubs for obvious reasons, this is what I do whenever I have time.

By the way, Uncle Carlisle doesn't look it, but he makes the big bucks. That's why he can afford to give me so much.

"I can see that. You could still use a more flattering outfit. You look fat." Ouch, much?

"What are you, Joan Rivers? Give me a break." I make it a point to scratch under my armpits. Mostly because it itches, also to annoy him.

"I take back what I said. You're not ugly or a tomboy. Just careless."

Ok, that surprises me. Nobody's ever said I'm not a tomboy, not even Aunt Esme, and that woman loves me more than my own mother. Probably.

And he isn't wrong. I don't make a conscious effort not to be girly. It's just that putting on makeup, styling my hair, laying out cute clothes... it's too troublesome. And the skirts and ballet flats girls use to school? Totally impractical for my running competitions with the boys. And I have to lay on the ground comfortably when I take pictures. Having to be aware of my panties doesn't make things easier. And I don't have enough money to buy all this shit, either. I rather spend my money on books and pieces for my camera.

"Well... thank you, I guess." I mumble, taking my hand out of my armpit, a bit ashamed of myself.

Romeo is obviously enjoying himself.

"But enough of me. What were you going to say?"

His face loses the gleefulness. My brow furrows, and I cross my arms.

"What is it? Is it so awful what you have to tell me?"

He walks around in frustration twice before finally shaking himself into it. He comes up to me, grabs my shoulders and stares into my eyes. Which only serves to remind me of how hot he is.

Damn, if only I hadn't become asexual after Jake.

"I saw Cullen kissing another girl today. They were in the Chemistry class, and I saw them when I was passing by. I thought you should know."

I blink.

Then I laugh.

"Was that it? Oh, for one second there I thought you were going to tell me something like you've actually escaped from a mental institution and need a ride back." I let my arms hang, no longer defensive.

He's looking at me like I'm the most stupid person on the planet.

"I just told you I caught Cullen making out with a bitchy-looking girl."

My face morphs.

"Oh, I bet it was that slut Jessica! I'm gonna kill that dude!" Romeo's face shows relief, almost like he's glad I'm angry. "He went to ask me after school if he could fuck her, even though he must've done it with her already! That ass!"

I'm going to kill that bastard. He asked me, even though he'd already fucked her. Basically, it was permission to fuck her again.

"Am I missing something?" Romeo looks dumbfounded. "Are you two in an open relationship or something weird like that?"

Now I'm confused.

Then I process his behavior and what he's been telling me.

So I laugh very hard.

"Oh man, you really love assuming things, don't you!" my sides hurt from laughing so much. I lean on my knees, trying to catch my breath. This guy. "First you think that I'm dating Jazz, and then you think I'm dating Edward! Oh God, this is too good. I have to tell Edward."

Romeo's face looks very red under the lamplight.

His face is so funny.

"But he got so angry about me being rude to you, and then he has this rule of excluding anyone that's mean to you. And the douchebag show he put on today! And the glaring! What's up with the glaring? And then you tell Jazz things have been tense between the two of you lately..." he looks bewildered, lost, confused... anything that can describe not understanding the situation.

I explain it quite simply.

"He's my best friend." Romeo's jaw drops. "He's angry I'm talking to you, because in his mind, any male that says an ill thing to me deserves to be hanged. I'm angry at him because he isn't angry if it's a female insulting me, such as Jessica, the girl you saw him making out with. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Then what about the tension? There isn't tension between best friends for months." Boy, I'm afraid we broke this guy. "And -And you said it was your fault, like you cheated on him and how all this is happening!"

He's crazy.

I really do think we broke him.

"There can be tension between best friends when you've known each other for seventeen out of seventeen years." I say, motioning for him to come and sit with me on a bench in front of the diner. He does, looking a bit freaked out. "And it's my fault because... well, I tend to do stupid shit under distress, ok?"

Romeo is quiet.

"Jazz... when we last met during summer vacations, he said there was some shit going on with his friends. Was that you?" I nod, silently looking at the cars passing by. "Can I ask what happened?"

"You can, but I won't answer." I turn to look at him. "I don't know you well enough. First, we have to get you out of Edward's shit list."

Romeo frowns, but he doesn't push it.

"Has there been any progress with that?"

"I presented your case to him. I think with patience, we'll get you there. But first, we need to find this girl. Have you thought you've seen her, at least?" maybe the girl was older than she looked and has already graduated. Or she's too young and isn't even in high school yet. Middle school and high school wear the same uniform, after all.

"Nope. Nothing."

I drum my fingers against my leg, thinking.

"I know what we're going to do." I finally say enthusiastically. "First, we get you off Edward's bad side. Once we get there, we have to get you into as many parties as possible. You have to scout the area and see if she's still in this school or she changed. We'll take it from there."

"Bella, you're an angel under the disguise of a tomboy."

"Watch it, or I'm going to punch the soul out of you."

* * *

 **Well, there you have it. The third chapter. As you can see, we've got some serious co-dependency going on here, which leads to a very unique friendship between Belly Bean and Wardo. I'm warning you now: the title says chronicles because I'm planning for this to be a long-ish fic. But worry not -I have like 80% of it done. I know I said I'll just post as I please now, but reviews, favorites and follows are always excellent motivation. :)**

 **Leah.**


	4. Diner Blues

**It's the fourth chapter, people. Show me some love.**

 **DISCLAIMER: THE ONLY THING I HAVE RIGHT NOW IS FREE TIME.**

* * *

We sit in the diner, speaking for hours. I learn about Romeo. I rarely put in anything about myself, but I'm not that interesting. I learn that he is Jazz's cousin on their mothers' side, that he has an older sister (off in college), a little brother and a little sister, twins. He repeated freshman year because of absences, seeing as he got into a car accident that left him hospitalized for three months. His mother is a housewife and his father is a businessman. He got into some trouble a few years back, started hanging with the wrong crowd. That's how he got his reputation as a troublemaker, even though he was only a lackey and mostly just hung around. That's where he got his piercings, too, and his hair dyed; he liked it, so he saw no reason to close his piercings or dye his hair back. Then, on his eighteenth birthday, he decided to get a tattoo on his right wrist and his shoulder blade. I get him to show me both. On his shoulder is a beautiful clock, and on his wrist it's a tribal design. I ask him about the clock. He says it's obvious; everyone's time is ticking, so we better use our time wisely.

Whenever he asks something too personal, I manage to avoid the question or blow it off. It's fun, hanging out with Romeo. Sure his appearance is a tad scary, and his constant scowl is a bit off-putting. But he laughs easily, and listens patiently. He's also very talkative.

When my watch tells me it's close to midnight, Romeo tells me he has to go.

"My curfew is at twelve. What's yours?"

I don't know what to say. My mother isn't around long enough to enforce a curfew. And her normal arriving time is three or four in the morning. So basically, I have until then.

"Twelve as well." I lie, for the sake of not troubling myself. My smile is fake, but Romeo doesn't know me enough to know that.

"I'll walk you home." he stands up, stretching.

"That's fine. My house is pretty far away, and your mom's waiting." I tease.

"It's ok. I'll just call and say I'm walking a friend home."

Is he going to make me say it?

"Romeo, I'm not going to my house. I'm going to Edward's, and if by some miracle he's there, he'll freak out if he sees you. Get it?"

That isn't a lie. Friday nights are spent at the Cullen household.

Romeo's eyebrows shoot up.

"You two are that close?"

"I sleep in his room or his sister's every Friday night. Never even touched the guest room. I also have my second breakfast at his house and have dinner there every day. I use his toothbrush. I have no qualms about using his boxers as pajamas. Yes, we're that close."

"Well..." Romeo shakes off the surprise. "I'll think about my own safety, ok? But I can't let you walk home alone. My mother would beat me into next week if she knew."

Somehow, his gentlemanly side catches me off guard. But after all I've heard about his mother, strict and loving, it isn't so weird.

We start walking in silence, and a few minutes in, I bite my lip and let out what I'm thinking.

"Are you sure you want to walk me home? I get it, you're well brought up, but it's _really_ far away. You're looking at a half-hour walk to get there, and God knows how long until you get to your house."

Romeo only laughs it off and says the exercise is good for him.

"So tell me." I kick a rock off the sidewalk. "What made you like this girl?"

I refrain myself from asking if he's an idiot, too. But it's in my nature to question things like love at first sight or love without knowing.

His lips pull to one side in a smile I haven't seen yet.

"I was doing my own thing, right? Just minding my own business. Then out of nowhere, there's a head beneath my legs. She's looking for some coins that fell down. Her friends have this horrified look, probably because they think I'm a gangster of sorts." He laughs at himself, but I don't see what's funny. What I find funny is that _he_ finds it funny. "Then she crawls away, only throwing me back a worried look before hurrying back to where her friends are, about two machines away."

"Ok..."

"From then on, whenever I went, it's like my gaze was drawn to wherever she was. I could find her easily, and I don't know, my crush just developed. Then I got grounded for being expelled, and I couldn't go anymore. During summer, I tried finding her, but she never went back. So, when my parents gave me the option of military school or here with Jazz's surveillance, I chose here. I want to find her. Maybe convince her that I'm not that bad."

I have a strange urge to cry.

For him or for my lost love, I don't know. But I have a strange weight on my chest, like I'm sad. I ignore it the best I can.

"Well, I hope that everything turns out ok for you two." I say sincerely.

"I doubt you mean that, but thank you." I stare in shock at him. "Somehow, you don't seem like much of a romantic to me."

I snicker, because it's the truth. Whatever romantic streak I had, it's long gone now.

"That might be true, but I do hope you find this arcade girl and declare your undying love soon enough."

"What about you? Isn't there anybody that caught your attention recently?" he teases, elbowing me lightly.

"Nope. I don't have any interest in love." I lick my lips, which are dry. "In any case, I told you I presented your case to Edward, right?"

Romeo nods, dropping the subject.

"I'm telling you now, Edward is very thick-headed when he wants. And right now, he wants to make you the bad guy. I say you give it a week before trying to make up with him. I'll make your case by saying you're Jazz's cousin, you have a girl you must find, and by guilt-tripping him. Any objections?"

"Does he have to know about the girl?"

"Romeo, he already knows." I laugh at myself. "Who knew my nickname would be so spot-on?"

My phone rings. It's nothing fancy. I bought whichever Nokia I could afford. But it's fun. I love playing Snake. Who needs things like music or What's App?

It's Edward, judging by the ringtone.

"What can I do for you today?"

"You can tell me where the fuck you are, for one."

"Oh, is your date with Jessica finished already?"

"Of course. What did you think, that I was taking her to dinner or something?"

"Geez, my mistake. I guess I'll have to look up the definition of date once more."

"You're so funny, Swan. Really, you're killing me inside."

"I hope so."

...

"What do you want?" I roll my eyes. I'm playing with Romeo, trying to see who can kick their rock further. I'm winning, but during one of my kicks my rock is sent flying off the road.

"To know where you are and why you're not sleeping on my bed or Tan's."

"Oh, I was at the diner and lost track of time. I'm on my way home."

"WHAT?" I hear some movement on the other side of the line. "Stay where you are, you fool. I'm coming to get you. I can't believe you'd walk home alone in the middle of the night." Edward fumes.

"I'm not alone. Romeo is walking me home. I'm safe."

"Thanks for throwing me to the lions." Romeo hisses. "And can you stop calling me Romeo?"

"No can do, lover boy."

"ISABELLA SWAN! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING WITH MARKS AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT?"

"Fucking him, what else?" I huff, and Romeo makes a choking sound. I stifle my laughter, but continue. "How about this, though? I'll stay put and wait for you to come pick me up if you hang up right now. Ok? I'm on Hanes, between Mayfield and Jackson."

The line is dead.

I turn to Romeo.

"He'll be here in fifteen minutes tops. So I suggest you run the other way while you still can."

"I would've walked you all the way home." Romeo protests.

"I know." I smile. "But I figure you value your life to some degree, and Tony finding you here is counter-productive for living a long life."

"True..." he trails off in thought, looking around. "How about this? If you wait inside that restaurant, I'll go. I can't go and leave you out here on good conscience."

I consider his offer and accept.

I give him a parting hug, surprising him.

"I'm a touchy-feely person. Get used to it." I walk backward towards the restaurant. "You're going back to Jazz's, right?" he nods. "If you go two blocks down straight ahead, there's a bus still running by here. If you catch the C route, you get off a block away from Jazz's at the third stop."

I go in the restaurant, hearing a thanks as I close the door.

Ten minutes later, I see Aunt Esme's car stop in front of the restaurant. I say goodbye to the nice hostess that let me wait inside and promise to come back sometime.

"Hiya Wardo." I greet when I sit on the passenger's seat, kissing him on the cheek.

His knuckles are white on the steering wheel.

"Bella..."

"Before you say anything, let me go first." Edward clenches his jaw but agrees. "I know you're worried about me. And I appreciate it. But I'm my own person and I can make my own decisions. If I want to stay in the diner, talking with a friend until midnight, it's my decision, ok?" Edward starts protesting but I cut him off. "Aunt Esme knows where I was. I told her beforehand."

"So why didn't I know about it?"

"Wardo, you're my best friend, _not_ my father!" I snap, fuming. "I've gotten along just fine without one for the last eleven years, so you don't need to assume that role! I have Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle to protect me. Mom might not be the most reliable mother, but she's raised me to be independent enough to be able to walk around as late as I fucking want!"

I start crying.

I cry the whole ride home. I don't think about my father often. I normally don't care my mother is a drunkard that gets home late and goes out with her friends on weekends just so she doesn't have to look at me. But sometimes... it just hurts. Sometimes I want a father that'll worry I came home late. Or a mother that cooks lunch for me on Sundays.

Edward stays quiet. When we get to his house, he doesn't bother making me shut up. He picks me up bridal style and carries me inside. The house is quiet except for my cries.

When we get to his room, he kicks the door shut. He lays me down on his bed and removes my shoes and sweater. He tucks me in bed and gets in behind me, hugging me to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Belle. I didn't think about what day it was today. I'm sorry."

I cry harder.

Today, eleven years ago, my father left my mother and I. Every year around this date, I get a little more cranky, a little more hurt. I pity myself for a while, and then in a few days, it'll be like any other day. I'll just be a seventeen-year-old girl working three jobs, with scars on her body and wounds on her heart. I'll laugh easily and put on the back-burner my hate for dad for another year.

I think for a while of life when dad was around. I was big enough to know what was going on. Dad was a lawyer. He liked playing ball with me, because he'd wanted a boy he could play with. I didn't mind one bit, and he never said he regretted me being born a girl. I'm sure if he'd stayed around long enough, he and mom would've had another baby, probably a boy. Dad loved me. He bought me dolls and dresses, soccer balls and baseball bats. He wanted me to like sports, but he still treated me like a princess.

And when he and mom were together, I thought they looked beautiful together. In love. Then that day, there was a fight. Dad left while I was in school. When I came back, the house was trashed and my mother was sitting against the couch, crying. He left me a necklace, and it's the only piece of jewelry I wear today. Why? I don't know. He doesn't deserve me to miss him.

But I do.

"I miss my dad, Edward. So much." I choke out. "Why didn't he take me with him? I would've gone with him." I sob, desperately trying to get Edward to hug me tighter.

"I know, Belle. I know." he tightens his arms around me, kissing my hair. He realizes my bun is in the way, so he lets go momentarily to undo it.

"Don't you dare leave me too, Edward. Please. I swear I'll get better, but don't leave me. You, Tan, Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle are all I have left."

"I won't."

"Don't hate me, either. What I did... had nothing to do with you." my tears are drying, and I'm getting groggier.

"I could never hate you, Belly Bean."

It's the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.

"Wake up, sunshine!"

Edward is shaking me, but I feign being asleep for a bit longer. Just five more minutes.

"Belle, it's time to wake up."

I sit up, eyes still closed.

"Don't you want breakfast?"

"Carry me." I stand on his bed, and he sighs, giving me his back. I smile, loving this piggyback ride. I feel calmer today. Like I can mend things up with Edward.

Lately, I've been thinking about coming clean to him. He doesn't know about mom's alcoholism, jobs or dirt-poorness. Maybe, if he knew, he'd understand.

"Belle, you need to start waking up on your own." He teases, going down the stairs. I tighten my arms and legs around him.

"Why? I wake you up every day to go to school." I mumble.

"Yeah, but I don't ask for rides on your back, now do I?"

We reach the kitchen, where Aunt Esme is making pancakes and Uncle Carlisle is in his usual seat, reading the paper.

"Morning Edward, Bella! How are you two on this lovely day?"

"Good." We both answer.

I open my eyes a bit more, watching the food in front of me.

"Goodness, Bella, your hair is so long! I haven't seen you wear it down in such a long time." I touch the back of my head, and find she's right. My hair is down. I forgot to put it back up when I woke up.

"Yeah, I know. I want to cut it."

"No." Tan appears out of nowhere and joins the chorus of Cullens vetoing my right over cutting my own hair.

"Why not? It's not like I actually wear it down. Nobody's going to notice." I roll my eyes, shoving half a pancake in my mouth. Tanya and Aunt Esme stare at me in disgust, but Edward does the same and Uncle Carlisle isn't paying attention.

"You say that now, but what happens if some day, you want to look girly and wear your hair down for once?" Tanya huffs, sitting down beside me.

"I'll wear a wig and pray that day passes quickly."

Edward and I high five. Tanya mutters something about us being immature, and Aunt Esme sits down.

"So, Bella, what were you doing yesterday? It's unusual for you not to do something with Edward or the boys on a Friday." Aunt Esme eats daintily, like a bird. I'm already on my second pancake and Edward is on his third.

"Well, I went to the gym and caught up on some homework. Then, at around seven, I went to the diner on Ellison Street. I hung out with Jazz's cousin, and then Edward went to pick me up." I drink some juice.

"Oh? David has a cousin?" Yeah, Aunt Esme doesn't really like nicknames. She calls me Bella, and that took me groveling her not to call me Isabella. She says names are the length they are for a reason, and that nicknames take away the beauty from them.

"Yeah, he's the asshole that insulted her the other day." Edward mutters, and Aunt Esme gasps in outrage.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, I hope I never hear that word come out of your mouth ever again!" she chastises, making me snicker. Her glare turns on me. "And you, Isabella Swan, may I ask _why_ you are befriending a boy with such an awful personality?"

"It's not like that, Aunt Esme." she stops everything she's doing to emphasize the fact that I have her complete attention. I sigh. "Yes, he said some mean things to me. But hear me out. The thing is, he'd assumed I was Jazz's girlfriend from the way Jazz spoke of me to his family. I'm the only girl in the group, so it's expected that there would be a misunderstanding. Right?" Aunt Esme nods, showing she's following. Edward looks interested in this conversation, too, because I hadn't explained this part to him. Oops. "When Romeo -that's what I call him- saw I was saying hi to him in my overly affectionate way, he didn't want Jazz to misunderstand. So he acted that way on purpose. He thought if he was mean to me, Jazz would have no doubt in his mind that he wasn't even thinking of being disloyal to his cousin. Did his plan suck? Yes it did. Could he have gotten the same message across without insulting me? Maybe, but the point is, what's done is done. That's what happened."

Aunt Esme looks like she's thinking very hard. Edward looks like he has something to say.

"So you forgave him?"

"Yes, Aunt Esme. Forgiving people is the best road there is." I look pointedly at Edward.

"Is he cute?"

"Mom!" Edward and Tanya.

"Esme!" Uncle Carlisle, outraged at his wife's boldness.

"Aunt Esme!" Me, amused at my second mother.

"What? It's an honest question. Is he better looking than my boy?" Aunt Esme pinches Edward's cheeks teasingly. He turns beet red. "Well, you know. Before the god-awful haircut."

I laugh.

"I don't know. I guess he's very handsome. In a bad boy way."

Aunt Esme and Tan squeal.

"Isabella!" Edward and Uncle Carlisle exclaim, wide eyes trained on me. They aren't good with girl talk.

"Oh, Bella, maybe he's your brand new love." Tan gushes, vibrating on her seat.

"Wouldn't that be wonderful? You deserve a handsome boy, dear." Aunt Esme is clearly satisfied with herself.

"Mom! Aren't you going to scold her for coming home so late after being with a _boy_?" Edward's face looks like he's considering getting a more sane mother. Aunt Esme rules.

"Oh, shut it, Edward. Like I don't know what you were doing yesterday before you got home."

"Burn, baby!" Tanya and I pretend to touch him and hiss. Now Tanya and I high five. We're awesome.

"Besides, it's not like that with Romeo and I. He's recruiting my help in finding the girl he's in love with." I munch on my last pancake. Aunt Esme is the best cook I've ever had the pleasure of eating from.

"How sweet." Aunt Esme and Tanya aww at the same time. They love romance stories.

"And Edward is going to help me. Right?" oh yes, I've been waiting all breakfast to corner you in, bestie. My smile rivals the Grinch's when he stole Christmas.

Edward just gives a resigned sigh.

"I guess if I have no other choice, I'll make good with Marks." I lean sideways and give him a hug with a kiss on the cheek.

"That's my boy." I ruffle his hair.

"By the way, Bella." Aunt Esme is only halfway through her first pancake. I don't have that kind of self-control. "I'm meeting with your mom later today. You know how she gets around these days-" more like every day is like this for me "-and I'm going out with her to cheer her up. We're going to the beauty parlor and to the spa. Do you want to come with us?" Aunt Esme looks hopeful, but that doesn't sound like a good idea to me. I'm working today, anyways.

"I'll pass. You say hi to mom for me, though. Be sure to keep her in shape."

She makes a pained face.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sure it would mean a lot for your mother if you went out with us today. Tan can come with us, so you won't get bored with us old ladies." Aunt Esme tries to sweeten me up without letting on too much. She thinks I don't want to go because mom and I fight cause of her drinking problems. She's trying to be discreet, since I haven't told Edward or Tan about mom's alcoholism.

I'm not going for two reasons: I have a job to get to and I hate beautifying.

So I turn to Uncle Carlisle.

"Dear, let the child be. She probably already has plans, just like every other Saturday."

All eyes are on me now.

"Say, Bella..." Tan begins.

"Now that we think about it..." Edward continues.

"What _do_ you do every Saturday afternoon?"

"You always run out of here like your seat is on fire." Uncle Carlisle, ever so sensitive, states. Right. He thinks his support is enough to keep the household running. I can't tell him that he _indulges_ me with gifts, but that I don't _need_ anything that he gives me. Except for blankets and sweaters. Those babies are mine.

"Um..." I can feel myself twitching under their gazes. "Would you look at the time? I have to get showered, dressed and on the road. Sayonara!" I try standing up, but the Cullen siblings grab my arms and make me sit down again.

Nosy little shits, the bunch of them.

Their expectant eyes train on me.

I have to think of a quick lie that will appease them.

"There's this scenery I love taking pictures of. However, it's a popular spot, so if I don't get there before a certain hour, the couples are going to be there, blocking my view. For a while, I've been trying to catch the perfect angle with perfect light of it, but I've been unsuccessful. Happy?" I blush, lowering my eyes.

"What's the thing you're trying to take a photo of?" Uncle Carlisle joins in, unhelpfully, might I add. It's a good thing their memory is shit and they don't realize I've been doing this for almost two years already.

I blush harder, trying to make it seem like I'm hiding something naughty.

"Uh, I'd rather not say." Aunt Esme and Tanya gasp at the same time, while the boys and I frown.

"Is Bella in love?" Tanya squeals, almost bursting my eardrum.

"I will not tolerate this." Uncle Carlisle grumbles, closing his newspaper and glaring at me.

"Fuck no." Edward glares as well.

Aunt Esme's speech of no cussing allowed gives me enough of a distraction to escape to Edward's shower. I find my spare clothes in his closet, get in the bathroom and get in the shower.

A few minutes later, Edward comes in the bathroom, uninvited. There's a curtain dividing us, so I don't worry about him seeing me naked.

"Edward, I hope that you're coming in and out quickly enough. I'd hate to have to shoot you if you saw me naked."

"Chill, Belle. Just washing my teeth." I huff, accepting his words. He leaves after a minute or two, closing the door behind him.

I get out, dry myself off, and stare in horror at the clothes laid out in front of me.

This is not mine. My panties aren't pink and lacy, my bra is not that nice and my clothes are baggy and uncute. No skinny jeans or long sleeved wine V-necks included.

"We're not letting you out of this bathroom or this house unless you've put on what we chose, Bella! And we won't back down!" Aunt Esme shouts through the other side of the door.

I'm not exactly thrilled to be wearing this, but whatever.

I put everything on, feeling a bit embarrassed of how well this shapes my figure. I knock on the door.

"I'm done."

Cautiously, they open the door. When they see I'm indeed telling the truth, both of them grin deviously and pull me out.

"We aren't going to do anything drastic. The point isn't changing you into another person. So we'll let you wear converse and no makeup." Tanya explains. I sigh in relief. I thought they'd subject me to heels and mascara. "But you have to let me braid your hair."

I consider for a second my chances of getting out of _that_ fight unscathed.

"Fine."

In five minutes, I have a French braid that reaches the middle of my back. I look at myself in the mirror, and I have to admit I don't look terrible. If I cared, I'd probably dress like this on a normal day. I know they're doing this cause they believe I'm going to go stalk the boy I like, so I let them.

When Edward sees me, he whistles, looking impressed.

"Swan, I'd forgotten you had a great body and the looks to go with it." He hugs me, pulling on my braid lightly. "You aren't going to go take pictures of some dude, right?"

Thank goodness, someone understands me.

"No." I sigh, pulling away. "I love you all, but sometimes, I need my privacy too. There's just some things we don't want anyone to know." I admit, leaving that hanging between us. Edward knows I'm secretive. He knows I don't say what's on my mind almost ever, and he knows that I have a few secrets under my sleeve. But he knows I'll tell him eventually.

"You aren't meeting _any_ boy, are you?"

I laugh.

"No, Tony. And I didn't tell you yesterday, but I met Romeo at the diner by chance. I didn't go there _with_ him." I try relieving a bit one of his worries. He looks a teensy bit relieved, but I know there's a lot weighing on his mind.

"Belle, you know you can talk to me whenever you like, right? I won't make the same mistake twice," he's saying he'll never put his fuck buddy above me again. That's nice to know.

"I know. You'll be the first to crack me, in any case. Hopefully, I'll tell you on my own."

I leave.

Just another Saturday afternoon.

Monday arrives without a hitch.

I don't run into anyone with my new outfit, my friends don't find out about my part-time job and my mother doesn't suddenly snap and tells me she hates me. My life isn't a drama. It might seem like it, but it's not.

My Sunday, though, was a bit unusual. Mom was there when I woke up and when I got home from work. She made me breakfast, something she hadn't done in a few years.

When I asked her what was the occasion, she simply smiled. It struck me how much I missed her smiling face. She used to smile a lot when I was a kid. I thought she was so pretty like that.

"Can't I make my daughter breakfast once in a while?"

And that's how I knew Aunt Esme had stuck her nose in our business.

It didn't help I knew that the day before mom and Aunt Esme were meeting.

Then when I came back from work, mom was still there. Not out with friends, not at the bar, not somewhere only God knew. She was watching a movie, and she invited me to watch it with her. She wasn't even drinking.

It was a good Sunday, which put me in a great mood.

Sometimes, it's good to have people stick their nose in your business.

I don't have any delusions, though. That was a one-time thing.

It's ok.

"RISE AND SHINE, DEAREST WARDO! TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL AND START OPERATION: ROMEO IS A FOOL!" I tackle my best friend. Instead of kicking me off of him, like he normally would, he grabs me and hugs me. I'm looking up at his waking face. His brow is furrowed, meaning he's thinking hard of something. Uh-oh.

"You're in an awfully good mood today." Edward croaks, peeling an eye open slowly. Then goes the other one, and he's staring at me strangely. I stare back.

"You know, you really should cut your sex hair. It's _so_ 2008." I comment. It's true; we only made him keep his sex hair because of the male lead from that movie, _Twilight_. Now that the saga's out of fashion, it's pointless to have him stick with it.

"Dully noted." He yawns, then moves me a bit so my eyes are in line with his.

"What's up? You have to be up in a few minutes, so this better be quick."

"You haven't been in such a good mood since Jacob Black asked you out. So either mom and Tanya's theory of you having a crush on someone is correct, or something else happened. Please tell me it has nothing to do with Marks."

His question is almost annoying enough to kick the good mood out of me, but I make an effort to ignore Jake's name and the bad energy it brings.

"First, I do not have a crush on anyone. Second, it's _Romeo_ , get it through your thick head. And third, nothing happened with him." Edward doesn't flinch, expecting an answer. I roll my eyes. "Yesterday, I just spent a nice day with mom. I haven't had one of those in a long time."

Edward's surprise is palpable.

He doesn't know I'm having issues with my mother. Aunt Esme always asks me about her when he's not in the room.

"You two don't get along?" something brews behind his eyes. I don't like it. It means that he's getting ideas.

"More like we don't spend much quality time together. You know she's not a housewife."

Edward is really trying to ruin my mood. I hop off the bed, taking his duvet with me.

"You have five minutes before we're late!"

Then I bound down the stairs towards the kitchen, off to have my second breakfast.

When Edward and I leave, it's eating at him. He's so quiet it's creepy. Even when we fight, it's noisy.

"What?" I sigh. I have my hands stuck in my sport pants, my backpack bumping against my ass with every step.

"Why don't I know anything about your mother? You never tell me anything about your family, and mom and dad are pretty tight-lipped, too." He squints. "What are you hiding from me, Belle?"

"Nothing." I respond off-handedly. "What's there to talk about? You know the basics. Dad ran out on us when I was six. Mom has been working for two-" more like for drinks "-ever since. What else?"

"How about why are you always at my house? Shouldn't you be home, trying to keep her company?"

"Didn't I tell you she works for two?" I ground my teeth, trying to retain some of my good mood. "Please, Edward. I don't like talking about my mother, which is why I haven't said anything. I'll tell you everything you want when I'm ready, ok?"

"Belle, this is what went wrong! You're always so secretive, never telling us where you go or what you do in your free time. You're my best friend, but am I yours?"

I don't know how to relieve his worries without divulging everything about my life.

"Of course you are, Edward. You, Tanya, Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle are the _only_ constant in my life since I was born. The only constant. You understand what I'm telling you?" I keep walking. I don't make a show of looking him in the eye. He's right beside me, silent.

When did our life become filled with so many serious conversations?

I leave my words up to interpretation. In any case, he has to understand that, for me, my mother isn't a constant. Not even the gang. I love them to death, and I hope they're my friends forever. But in my heart, they could be blown away any second. I want them in my life. They make me happy. But _need_? I only need the Cullens.

"Ok." Edward grabs me in a headlock, breaking the tension. "So what are we going to do for Halloween? We still haven't decided. And woman, we need to find some kick-ass costumes for this thing."

"Right? I have an idea. We could swing by the local costume shop on Friday, see what we find. We haven't gone out in a long while." I straighten up, leaving his arm around me. I grab his fingers to keep his arm there, but we walk comfortably. Edward and I fit perfectly together. Always have, always will.

"Belle, I was thinking."

"Edward, what have I told you about thinking? No good comes out of it and at the end of the day -Ow!" Edward elbows me into silence, but I laugh, letting him finish.

"I thought about what you said about Jessica. And I apologize, it was very insensitive of me to go on a date with her after she'd said that nasty shit to you."

"I'm glad." I smile, content that he'd reflected on his behavior.

"I came to this realization midway through our, um, date. So I left and told her not to call me again, because for me, you come first. And her insulting you doesn't fly with me."

My mouth drops, giggles building up instantly.

"No way, dude! You stopped halfway through?" Edward nods somberly. I bite my lip, but the shit-eating grin on my face will not be reigned in. "I'm really proud of you, Tony."

"The things we do for our best friends." He sighs mockingly.

" _That's_ why I put up with your shit, Cullen. At the end of the day, you've earned your place as number one in my heart."

His smile is childish and heart-warming.

"And I thought it was because of my good looks."

When we get to school, Jazz, Jamie, Emmett and Ben are waiting for us at the front gate.

"Hey." Edward and I synchronize, exchanging bewildered looks. The gang rarely meets in school. You know, as a whole. I notice Romeo isn't with them.

"So, did you two kiss and make up?" Emmett asks, smiling widely.

Edward and I look at each other.

"I don't know, did we?"

"Well, Belle, I suppose we did. But we left out the kissing part."

"Are you suggesting we do that?"

"Are you saying it's ok?"

"Of course it's ok, Tony. I mean, we kiss every single day, don't we?"

"Ha ha, we get it, comic duo." Jamie intercepts. "We know the two of you are capable of making out in front of us just to drive a point home. You didn't fight. We get it."

"Belle, you and I are _great_ at getting points across."

"Right you are, Wardo."

We cock our heads in sync, just looking at the guys like we're Dodo birds.

"This is getting creepy." Ben whispers to Jazz, who nods in agreement.

"Seventeen years together will do that to you." I shrug, still holding unto Edward's arm around my shoulders.

"Now that World War III has been avoided, we have another thing to discuss." Emmett begins, then they all look at Jamie to finish. He rolls his eyes and mumbles something about them being cowards.

"We were wondering what is going to be of Romeo. Is he in the group or not?" They all look pointedly at Edward, who has final call in this. What they don't know is that I'm the mind behind the final call. The trick is either making Aunt Esme make Edward see things my way or get Edward to think he came up with the decision all on his own.

Jazz looks slightly nervous. I know he doesn't want to choose between his friends and his family.

Edward groans.

"He's in. But he's on probation until further notice."

Jazz sighs in relief, and I hug Edward in gratitude. Finally.

They all go into school, the bell a few minutes away from ringing. Ben hangs back.

"Ben? What's up?" I hook my arm with his, trying to get some tension off him. Also, I'm trying to stop him from running away from me.

"Bella, I have something to say." He's twitching, never a good sign. I'm getting worried, but I wait until he's ready to continue.

"Jake contacted me a few days ago."

My heart hurts the way it always does when he's mentioned. I really don't want to cry, but the urge is there. Flashbacks go by my head. Pieces of the good times and the bad times. To me, they were all precious. We were together for six months. A long ass time, considering we're in high school.

"Oh," my voice becomes small, not like me at all. My previous good mood is gone. Nothing like hearing about your first love to bring you down.

"What-" I cough, trying to get the words out. "What did he say?"

I hate how he can still affect me. Almost four months later, and he can still make my heart go wild.

"He wanted me to tell you he's sorry. That he was a real jerk. He would've said more, but I cut him off." Ben looks down. He feels guilty. He thinks if he hadn't introduced us, none of this would have happened.

But I loved Jake enough to not regret a single second.

Fucked up, huh?

I grip Ben's arm harder.

"Ben... thank you for introducing me to Jake." Ben is so surprised, he almost trips. We're walking towards the front doors, crossing the parking lot. Students are milling in.

" _Thank you_? If it wasn't for him, then all of this wouldn't have happened! We'd..." I can see how much it's been tearing Ben up inside. How ugly, guilt is.

"We'd still be hanging out without the big elephant in the room between us?" I finish for him, smiling softly. I've always had a soft spot for Ben. Just like with Jazz. Both of them feel breakable. Probably because of how we met.

"Yeah." We're making our way into the actual school building.

"But Ben... I wouldn't trade those six months for anything in this world. Thanks to you, I had some very happy months. Sure, the ending was ugly and painful. But you allowed me to experience a wonderful relationship." We stop in front of his classroom, which is different from my first period. I give him a kiss on the cheek then push him through the doors.

I really did love Jake.

* * *

 **Again, I tried making this a longer chapter, but once more, FFN wouldn't let me.**

 **Leah.**


	5. Jacob Black

**DISCLAIMER: I ACTUALLY DISLIKE JACOB BLACK. AND THE FACT THAT I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT.**

* * *

A month goes by in the blink of an eye. Edward and I find our Halloween costumes, leaving us ahead by some two weeks. Edward shaves his sex hair and grows his hair out bit by bit. Romeo makes slow but sure progress with getting on Edward's good side, and the only thing slowing him down is his often blunt or rough comments. He even made it out of his shit list, or in other words, the school's shit list. He hangs out with me during lunch.

Sometimes I have pictures to take, and he's quiet, letting me do my thing. Other times, I have to finish homework and he accompanies me, getting a head start on some other work. He's actually very smart.

We speak about a wide range of things. Personal interests, likes and dislikes. He tells me of his family and I tell him of the gang. He tells me of his 'dark period', and I tell him of pranks Edward and I pulled when we were kids.

In other words, Romeo worms his way into my heart with a lot of ease.

On Thursdays, Romeo visits me at the bookstore. Mrs. Jackson has grown attached to him rather quickly. On those visits, we discuss the possible places Ms. Invisible has gone off to.

Edward has conflicted feelings about my developing friendship with Romeo. He fears I'll like Romeo more than him, or that I'll spill some of my secrets to Romeo before him. He's let go of the bad first impression Romeo had, and he seems to genuinely think Romeo is cool. He has a long way to go before calling Romeo a friend, but he'll get there.

Ben, too, has stopped being so skittish around me. He accepts the fact that I don't blame him. Edward has stopped blaming himself, too. Jazz is peculiar lately, being a bit more shut in than usual. But we leave it up to growing accustomed to having his cousin so close.

All in all, things are great. Things at home haven't exactly progressed, but they haven't made a turn for the worst, either.

It's like the premonition to awful times.

It's Friday. Romeo, Jazz and I are hanging out at the diner. Edward, Jamie and Emmett are at some party, while Ben is off on some geek thing.

We're heading out of the diner, heading to the arcade. Romeo and I have ulterior motives, thinking maybe Ms. Invisible is there. We're all in geek gear, wearing t-shirts that say something nerdy. Mine says 'Don't trust atoms, they make up everything'. Romeo's says 'RIP Pluto', and Jazz's says 'E=mc2', which is boring. All of us match in a funny way. The t-shirts are red, we all wear cargo jeans, converse and a sweater.

We look cool.

Somebody crashes into me from the back.

"I'm sorry, are you ok?" The two guys turn to see what mammoth bumped into me that made me fly a few feet. I'm still standing, through hard work of staying upright.

"You all right, Bella?" Romeo asks, steadying me. But I'm not paying attention. Jazz isn't either.

It's Jacob Black, in the flesh.

When Ben introduced us, I laughed for a solid five minutes. I mean, Ben is scrawny, wears glasses and can go on for hours about some silly game. Classical geek, except better looking.

Jake is anything but. He's built like a quarterback. Or a bear. But 6'4" of all muscle. He's hot, for lack of better words. Black hair and brown eyes, strong jaw, luscious tan, and stubble. Bad-mouthed. Three years older than me. And yet he can talk geek just like Ben. He can stay up three days without a wink of sleep just to finish a game.

So that man is standing right in front of me. The man that made me sigh like a fool and also made me sink into depression, and eventually, attempt suicide.

"Bella..." Jake breathes, staring at me. He takes a step forward, but Jazz is quicker.

Jazz, ever pacifist Jazz, punches Jake square on the nose.

He doesn't resist. It also doesn't have any effect on him. It just makes Jazz curse and cradle his hand to his chest.

"Whitlock. Now that's a bastard I didn't miss."

I forgot how much those two disliked each other.

"J-Jake." I stutter, making Romeo let go of me. Tears are threatening to spill. Damn me. Why can't I hate him? "What are you doing here? I thought you were in the other coast."

"Far away." Jazz hisses.

Jake looks worn down. I know he wants to speak to me.

Apologize. I have a feeling that's why he's here.

"Rie... I'm so-"

"Sorry? Asshole, you know what you put Bella through? What you put _all of us_ through?" Jazz shouts, pointing at Jake. I'd never seen him so agitated.

Romeo is very confused.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, I'll tell you what's going on." Jazz approaches me.

"Jazz, please don't..." my tears have spilt, and I'm not trying to hold them back anymore. I'm looking at Jake, and I don't break my gaze from his.

"Riley, you want to know what's going on? I'll tell you. This asshole over here is Jacob Black. He's Bella's ex-boyfriend. You know what's funny? The day after he told her he loved her, he booked a flight across the country, leaving behind a text that he was sorry but he wouldn't come back. Oh, but you know what he _did_ do? Oh, I know. He broke Bella's heart. And guess what else?"

"Jazz, don't..." My vision is blurry, but I know what's coming.

Too late. He takes off my sweater forcefully, then my wristbands. He extends both my arms face up.

Jake and Romeo look horrified. This is so embarrassing.

Cuts line my arms and wrists. It's a miracle I'm not dead, truly.

"Yeah. She tried to commit suicide, jackass. And guess who was there to pick up the pieces? Not you. No. _Us_. So apologize. For breaking more than her heart." Jazz is on fire, but he doesn't know this is hurting me. I wanted to be the bigger person if I ever met Jake again.

Tears are drying on my face, but I'm sane enough to process what's going on. My heart hasn't yet withered in my chest.

"Rie..." Jake chokes back. He tries getting closer to me, but Romeo and Jazz put me behind them.

Jake's getting angry, though. And believe me, I witnessed it once and never again. Thankfully, the anger hadn't been directed at me. But pretty damn scary.

"Bella, please, let me talk to you. Tell your dogs to back the fuck down. I just want to talk."

I step in between them, and both protest. I tell them to shut up. I dry my tears, get my act together.

I'm Bella Swan, for fuck's sake. I can do this.

I look at Jake straight in the eye.

"Ben told me the other day you called to apologize." Jake nods. "Don't call me anymore. Please, let me finish." I say when I notice he's about to continue. "Jake, you hurt me a lot when you left. In the end, it wasn't only our relationship that got affected. My friendship with Edward and the gang has been fragile ever since, too. You get what I'm saying?"

"Bella, I never meant to hurt you. If I could go back-"

"But you can't. I loved you, you hurt me. I tried to kill myself. I'm back on my feet. It's the way life goes. Now don't try contacting me again. Or believe me, I won't hold Edward back." I say, my voice breaking but confident.

Jake gives me a ghost of a smile.

"It's nice to see you're still as stubborn as ever. And that you have friends supporting you." he realizes he hasn't met Romeo. "Who's the new guy?"

"Jazz's cousin. He transferred a month ago."

Jake nods. I think he realizes life moves on for me, even without him.

"Rie, if it helps any... I shouldn't have let you go. Biggest fucking mistake in my life."

Jazz hisses.

"You should've thought about that before running off."

"Shut the fuck up, Whitlock. I still don't fucking like you." Jake glares at Jazz. But when he looks at me, his eyes are soft. Those eyes had looked at me lovingly so many times. Laughingly. Sadly. Irately. I loved his eyes.

I wish I could hate Jake. I really do. But I love him, despite everything.

And I know, at some point, he loved me too.

"Jake, I'm not getting back together with you. So don't even try wooing me. I'm beyond that. I just need closure." A few tears slip past, despite my best efforts. A small part of me wants him to grovel and pursue me. The part that will forever love him.

But I know if I get back together with him, Edward will never forgive me. Heck, _I_ will never forgive me.

"Ok, I understand."

And he does, I can really see it in his eyes.

"Come here." He opens his arms, and despite the cousins' protests, I step into them. I sigh in content. I really loved being enveloped in his arms. They're so big, it makes me feel safe. He whispers in my ear, because this is for me only.

"I really loved you, Bella. I loved you so much my head hurt whenever I thought of you." I give a weak laugh. "There was a point where I loved you so bloody much, I thought I wanted to marry you." I gasp. "But I got scared. Falling in love wasn't a part of my plans. And I had everything ready to go. My university transfer, my future. My dreams. I got scared when I thought of fitting you into those plans. So I left. Because I was a coward and an idiot that thought..." He sighs. "I thought you'd be waiting for me. And I was wrong."

I'm glad he's telling me all this. For some people, this would be sweet enough to get back together. But for me, who's been abandoned before? No way.

"I don't hate you for getting scared. I don't hate you, period. But I'm not getting back together with you because you _did_ leave. You left, knowing that after my father, it was something I couldn't forgive. Jake... you knew what you were doing." I hug him tighter.

We're both very affectionate people.

 _"Jake, let go of me." I giggled, trying to get out of his arms. He had me in a tight grasp, holding me against his chest. We were laying down on my bed, spooning. But I had to go to work. Mom would be coming home late, anyways, so there was no one._

 _"No can do, Rie." I groaned, hiding my face. I shouldn't have told him my middle name._

 _"Don't call me that." He kissed the back of my neck, then my shoulders._

 _"Why? I think Marie is an adorable middle name." He snickered, his kisses lowering down my arm._

 _"I hate it! And by the way, don't you dare tell anyone. Nobody knows my middle name, not even Aunt Esme. Mom wanted it to be a secret or something. If Edward got wind I told you before I told him, I'd be fried toast." My breath hitched as he switched his kisses from down my arm to down my back._

 _"Why do you care so much? Somebody is eventually going to find out without my help. If I so happened to blabber, it would only be speeding up the process," he playfully bit my back, making me squeal. I turned around so we were now facing each other._

 _"Nope. You, my dear, are the chosen one. Only you can know of my disgraceful name. Pinky swear you won't tell anyone." I raised my pinky, being damned serious about it._

 _"Only if you call in sick," he bargained, making me gasp._

 _"I didn't know you were so perverted, mister." I considered it. I'd never called in sick. I guess I could. "Fine." I relented, and we shook our pinkies._

 _We sealed it with a kiss, and we didn't get out of bed until mom was due to return in a few minutes._

We really had been great together.

"So, I guess this is goodbye?" His hug gets tighter, and I almost can't breathe. But it's fine.

I nod.

"I'll really miss you, Jake."

"I'll really miss you, too, Rie." he kisses my cheek and lets me go.

I walk back behind the two boys.

Jake starts walking backwards.

"You two take care of my Bella for me, ok?" he calls back, then turns around, getting further and further out of sight until he makes a turn, and then he's gone for good.

I admit, I'm left a bit in shock.

"Not yours, bastard." I hear Jasper mutter under his breath.

Then I crumble into a sobbing mess on the ground.

The terrible burden I had is gone. The thousands of reasons that had gone by my head about why Jake had left me were narrowed down to one. Commitment issues. It's sort of funny. I fell in love with a man whose one weakness was my greatest fear.

I cry because I'll always love Jake, the first man I loved more than life itself. I cry because I never mourned for our past, only for our future. I cry because Jake, that fool, knew exactly what to tell me. I cry because these scars of mine aren't hidden anymore. I cry because I'm free of hate, sadness and bitterness. All I have left is the memory of a great love that ended badly.

Romeo picks me up and leads me to Jasper's car.

He sits in the back, lets me cling to him the whole ride to Edward's house. I hear Romeo ask Jazz why he doesn't take me to _my_ house, and Jazz answers that it's because no one knows where I live. Besides, he already called Edward and told him to be waiting for me there.

Between hiccups, I explain things to Romeo.

"Jake and I met through Ben. We hung out every single day after school, and soon enough, we were a couple. It was one of those real loves, you know? No first love, no hard and fast. We took our time getting to know each other. By the time one month was over, I was terribly in love with him. During the sixth month, Jake fled. He told me he loved me and he left. A few weeks after that, I hadn't gotten my head around the facts. One night, I called Edward in the middle of the night. He was out, fucking some girl. I told Edward I really needed to talk, but he said he couldn't. I told him he shouldn't stop fucking some cougar on my account. I hung up, went down to his kitchen, grabbed a knife and locked myself up in his bathroom. I slit my wrists. His mother noticed I hadn't come out of Edward's room in a long time, so she went in. She noticed that I'd locked the bathroom door, but no matter how many times she knocked, I didn't open. Finally, she realized blood was coming out from underneath the door. She ran to Edward's dad, and he kicked open the door. From what I'm told, Edward came home to an empty house. He went up to his room and, when he saw the blood, he fainted. When he woke up, Aunt Esme -his mother- took him to visit me in the hospital. That's the tension that's been between Edward and I. Now you know." I croak out.

Both boys are quiet. I grow quiet too, but my tears won't stop running.

I guess, no matter how depressed I'd been, I never allowed myself to fully cry. Never allowed myself to mourn for Jake himself. All this time, I'd been angry he left. Hurt. But not sad. And the truth is, Jacob Black had a huge impact in my life, and I haven't properly acknowledged it. I struck him off as an asshole that left me. But he was more than that. He helped me through some tough days, sometimes knowingly, other times just by being there. So I owe it to Jake to properly grieve him. What I did, the suicide attempt... it was the coward's way out. I was willing to die just so that I wouldn't _have_ to think of a world without Jake, a world where people inevitably left me, and after that, I've just been avoiding the issue. But no more.

When we get to Edward's house, he's standing in front of the driveway, pacing anxiously. Upon seeing the car, he runs to it and all but rips open the door and drags me out. He hugs me tightly, asking a thousand questions per minute.

Jazz gives me a very tight hug, promising to talk later. Romeo leaves with cloudy eyes, like he's thinking too hard of something. They say goodbye, and Edward helps me in the house.

Aunt Esme, Uncle Carlisle, Tanya and Edward sit around the breakfast table, waiting for me to speak.

I'm not out of tears, but I do my best to speak through them.

"I... ran into Jacob Black."

Aunt Esme looks concerned, Uncle Carlisle looks angry, Tanya is frozen and Edward is just steaming with anger.

"Oh honey, tell us what happened."

So I walked them through it. I left nothing out.

I even told them about me missing Jake.

"Jake was a big part of my life. It was very easy to talk to him. He could make me happy just by being there. I guess I relied on him too much, and when he wasn't there, I blew up. Everything was just too much." I swallow. "And even though it pains me, I can't go back to him. What if he bails again? What if next time, he cheats on me because he wants to sabotage the relationship?" I sniffle, shaking my head at myself. They're all watching me, but those are eyes I trust to judge me. "I won't go through that again. If he'd broken up with me, face to face, that would've been fine. What killed me was that... he left just like my father."

Of course the root of my problems would be daddy issues. But it's the truth. When I saw the text, it was my father's departure all over again. Only before, I'd been left with a necklace, and then with a text. In any case, it took me through years of suffering again.

"Oh, dear... your father, he was a different matter. He left your mother, not you. You understand the difference, don't you?" Aunt Esme leans over the table, gripping my hand.

This would be a good time to say he actually abandoned both my mother and I. It would be a good time to come clean about the past eleven years.

But now is definitely not a good time for that.

"Yeah."

Later that night, I'm sleeping on Edward's bed with him. It's our usual arrangement. Whenever I sleep in Edward's room, my head is on the pillow and his smelly feet are next to my face. But whenever one of us needs the other, we like sleeping like this. It makes us feel like kids. Edward is holding me to him, both of us facing the wall. I let my hair down, which I never do, not even for sleep. He's combing through my hair, playing with it.

"Belle?"

"Yeah?" My voice is hoarse from crying so much (upon reaching Edward's room, I also yelled into a pillow).

"What's it like for you? You know, to fall in love with someone?"

I'm surprised Edward would ask such a deep question, but I humor him.

"Like you don't need to hide anything from them. You feel like smiling just from seeing them. You feel like... you'd do anything to protect them from harm, even if it's from themselves. And when you think about your future, the other person's face pops into your head. The thing is, you can choose to be afraid of it or not. I wasn't afraid, but Jake was. That's what went wrong. Love won't work if your dreams aren't compatible. If neither is willing to make a sacrifice. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." That's love. The sane and pure kind. That's the kind of love I'll try for next." I whisper. Edward stops running his fingers through my hair. He hugs me tightly.

"I thought you were asexual now." I give a weak laugh, sniffling.

"I thought I was done with love. But meeting with Jake again... I remembered how much fun it was. And I want to try again and again. I'll do better next time. Learn from my mistakes."

"You know, when you started dating Jake, I got scared." I hadn't heard of this, so I encourage him to keep talking. "I thought you wouldn't need me anymore. I thought it was _him_ you'd go to when you thought of your dad. I thought... I'd take the second place in your heart. I was really scared I'd lose you. And then he left, and I was _so_ relieved. I thought: this is it. I'm back to being her number one'." He swallows audibly.

"Edward..."

"No, wait, I'm not done." He sighs, getting his thoughts in order. "That night... under normal circumstances, I'd have dropped the girl in a second when you called. But I was feeling too cocky. I felt like everything was back in order. You, needing me. I never thought you were so upset. I thought that you were fine after a couple of weeks. I was too high on my own cloud to notice the signs. Because if I think about it, it was so obvious. You didn't eat much, you had bags under your eyes. And every time you made a joke, and everyone laughed, you'd smile for just a split second. So many hints I didn't pick up on, all because I was happy Jacob Black was gone." Edward sounds disgusted with himself.

I don't blame him, though. Not for feeling like that.

"For a while, I blamed you. I thought... _you_ would have stopped me. I was so sure that it was _you_ who should've known something was wrong. That _you_ should've come immediately. It was just me being spoiled, though. I knew there was something wrong with me. I should've stopped myself. And I felt so awful, that even if you had dropped anything, within the time you got home I would've already..." I leave the sentence hanging. "I could've talked to your family, the gang, heck, even the school janitor. I didn't, though. I wanted to be rescued. And I finally understand that it was no one's fault but mine. _My_ weakness. I didn't think of how it would affect everyone what I did. So, I'm sorry, Edward. I've been an awful friend."

Edward kisses the back of my friend.

"No more secrets, ok? From now on, we speak to each other about everything. Capisce?"

I hesitate.

"Edward, I have a few things I haven't told you about. But I promise to tell you one day. When I'm ready. Please?"

"Does it have to do with what you do Saturday afternoons?"

"Yes."

"Fine. But don't take too long, alright?"

"Ok."

Sunday I take the day off from work. I meet up with the gang at the diner, explain everything that happened on Friday. Ben is the one most visibly relieved. I think that some of the burden is taken off his shoulders upon understanding that Jacob Black didn't ruin my life. My explanation is short, because I don't want to turn this into a drama.

Emmett, Jamie and Edward high-five Jazz when they hear about him punching Jake. Ben flinches slightly, probably for his old friend. Romeo saw it all, so he probably already congratulated Jazz.

"And I guess I just wanted to apologize for the hell I've put all of you through. I hope we can put this bullshit behind us and regard it as a bad dream." I finish. The boys are sitting in front of the bar, turned around towards my standing figure.

All of them smile, then rush forwards to hug me. Even Romeo joins in, and that guy isn't big on hugging.

"Hey Joe, seven Diet Cokes!" Emmett calls to the owner, our very old friend. He brings them out and sets them out in front of us.

We all pop them open.

"To putting shit behind us!" Jamie toasts, cans are clinked together, and just like that, we're back to normal.

We have a blast. We go to the arcade and game for a few hours, just like the old times. I kick ass, just as always, and Ben kicks all of our asses times two. Romeo proves himself to be a worthy opponent. I beat him three times, he wins four. Against Edward, because we know each other inside out, one game that normally takes ten minutes ends up taking two hours.

Then in a game with Edward, Jamie and I in one team and Ben, Emmett and Romeo in the other, they win by a thin line. My team rages and shouts insults. We have enough coordination to move like a well-oiled machine. However, the other team has Ben.

We have more fun than we've had in the last nine months.

When the time to go home starts approaching, Ben and Emmett leave, claiming unfinished homework. Jazz and Romeo leave as well, saying something about an earlier curfew on school nights.

That leaves Jamie, Edward and I.

We head out to a café near Jamie's house.

"Hey, remember this? We used to hang out here after school because my mom would freak if I went any further." Jamie reminisces.

"Oh, you know what was pure glory? Coming here after karate lessons. Man, I still hurt when I think of them." Edward cracks his neck for emphasis.

Jamie and I laugh in that goofy way people have when they agree.

"God, you remember that time we hid on top of the lockers? And when Jamie's mom came to pick us up, no one could find us?" I laugh hard, thinking of her comical face. No one could find us three devils. For second graders, we were pretty stealthy.

"No shit! I had to sit through an hour of grilling for that prank." Jamie laughs as well, not at all repentant about his actions.

"I remember! You were such a coward. You pinned everything on Belle, even though technically, it _had_ been her idea." Edward contributes.

"Hey! All I did was suggest that maybe Jamie's mom would freak if we weren't there. You two came up with the hiding spot."

We talk for a few hours of the old times. After all, we were together for almost six years before Emmett and Ben came along. With Edward and Jamie's popularity, they haven't been hanging out with me much. They always invite me to their parties, but I decline every single time. I'm not a fan of parties, for one. And as my most important reason lies my mother. I don't want to start drinking at parties and end up like her. Or end up craving these parties, like Edward and Jamie. Craving the crowd. I'm happy with my calm lifestyle.

"So, did you two find your Halloween costumes already?" Jamie smirks, knowing us.

Edward and I nod.

"This year, we made a compromise. I wanted Belle to impersonate a girl for once, and she wanted me to dress like a famous hot guy. So..."

"We're going as..." I wait, hoping for suspense. "Princess Leia and Han Solo!"

Jamie does a spit-take.

Seriously, just like in the movies. He showers Edward and I with his water.

"W-Wait, Bella, you're going to wear P-"

"Ew, I'm not using the costume from her time of imprisonment! I'm going for the white thing she wore in the first movie. You know, with the weird hair."

I think Jamie is genuinely disappointed. I know Edward was relieved I wouldn't be showing my everything for the first time in a party.

"But I _am_ making her wear makeup. And her dress is not baggy _and_ it has a slit up one leg."

"Even though the original dress wasn't like that."

"But she threw such a fit we agreed that next Halloween, I'd be Danny Zuko and I'd wear his gayest outfit. But she has to be Sandy. No way am I dressing like _that_ if she doesn't wear the famous catsuit. Or a dress."

Jamie seems impressed by all this.

I'm not happy about dressing like Sandy, but whatever. I have a year to negotiate my ass out of that one.

"Bella, I have to say. I didn't think it would be like that, but... it seems meeting Jake brought your spirit up. I'm glad. You're back to normal." Jamie observes.

"Thanks, Jamie. But! I'm done speaking of Jacob Black. He's in the past, and even though I know you girls love gossip, you'll have to refrain yourself. For me."

"Just like Bella. Avoiding the issue." Edward sighs, but he has a small smile on his face. He knows I'm not avoiding it. Well, only a bit.

We say goodbye. I don't let Edward drive me home, for obvious reasons. He doesn't fight me on wanting to take me home, because he knows that for me, that's off-limits.

When I get there, mom is waiting for me.

"Belly, how are you? Everything ok?" she's slightly buzzed, but she isn't stumbling or emotional yet. She's coherent. Probably only a drink or two.

She hugs me. Mom is a beautiful woman, but alcohol has worn her down. She's a blue-eyed brunette, leggy, with a very fit body. She could have whatever man she wants. Instead, she clings unto the slim hope that my father will come back.

"Let me guess. Aunt Esme talked to you."

Mom nods, letting go of me. She makes me sit down on the couch.

"You... You aren't thinking of anything dangerous again, right?" Mom looks worried for a change. I guess she doesn't want a second suicide attempt on her hands.

"I'm perfectly sane, mom. I'm better now, actually. I finally had closure with Jake."

"Jake?"

My eye ticks with irritation.

"Jake, the ex-boyfriend I almost killed myself over."

"Oh."

I notice there's an open letter on the coffee table. Mom tries stopping me from reading it.

But I read it alright. It's a balance report from the bank.

Credit card and debit card.

Debit card says there's nothing left there.

Credit card says we owe over two thousand dollars.

I shoot up from the couch.

"Mom, what the hell is this? You _just_ received your pay of the first half of the month! And you already ran through it?" I look at it. "And the credit card? Since when do you even own a credit card, mother? We talked about this! No credit cards!"

That's the whole thing of living here. We live on what we have. I have a credit card for food and paying the bills. But it's mine. And this one isn't mine. It's hers, which means nothing good.

"Isabella Marie Swan, don't you dare talk to your mother like that!"

"Oh, my mother? You're my mother when it's convenient for you. Did you think of your responsibilities as a mother when you ran through your paycheck on booze? Did you think of me when you bought enough alcohol for a month but no food? I'll tell you what's going to happen now. There will be no hot water, no gas to cook or even TV until we pay back this bill! And then we're going to go cancel that fucking credit card, because you'll just fill us with debts again! And I'll have to ask to work overtime in one of my _three_ part-time jobs just so that I can buy _food_!"

I have over a four thousand dollars saved in a separate account, but I'm not touching that because it's for my future.

I look at my mother, crying and apologizing.

This is the last straw.

I'm getting emancipated.

I have dozens of bank reports stating that there's not a dime left, and now I have proof of her joyride with a credit card. I have also been sustaining this household all by myself. Sure mom pitches in once in a while, when there's something left. But not anymore.

I'm doing this.

* * *

 **Ok, so as you can see, emancipation is something that Bella needs. Her mother, while not abusive, it's neglecting of her. I believe that love is showing you care, and that few things are worse than feeling forgotten. As you can see, Jake isn't some asshole -he just wasn't ready to commit, which is something that scares a lot of people. It's logical, but it's bad when you hurt someone you're supposed to love.**

 **Leah.**


	6. Confessions of the Drink

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING THAT COULD EARN ME MONEY.**

* * *

"Hey stranger." Romeo appears in front of me, blocking the sun. I'm on the roof, basking in the nearing cold.

"Hello, Romeo. What brings you to my side of the roof?"

He lies down next to me.

"Questions."

"Ah, of course. Well, you can ask, but it depends if I'll answer." I keep my eyes closed.

"Why don't you hate Jacob Black?" I open one eye, see him looking to the front. I sigh, close my eye.

"Love makes fools of us, Romeo. You should know. You're named after a guy that rather die than think of his beloved dead."

"First, I wasn't named after that Paris. And second, I really don't get it."

"It's not easy to hate someone you once loved. They have to really work for it. And just so you know, the Paris you were named after is worse. He caused a war because he wanted a girl."

My mother's name comes to mind. I'm going to file a petition today. I got all the proof I need she's unfit and I can take care of myself. I already even found an apartment, much cheaper. It's on top of Joe's diner. The advantages of having lots of friends.

"But this guy, he left you! Just like that. And you forgave him?" Romeo sounds confused, like the idea is inconceivable. And maybe it is for some.

"Most women would've taken him back. Heck, _I_ would have, with how much I loved him. But... I can't forgive him leaving me. It's the one thing I can't let go of." I offer a piece of myself. "My father left my mother and I when I was six. No warning, no looking back. He left a necklace and Jake left a text. No difference." I shrug.

"Hey, Bella... Can I see your scars?"

That shocks me.

Nobody's ever asked me that. They're afraid I'll freak.

But I don't mind.

I take off my sweater, then my wristbands. Then I show him.

"God..." he breathes out, tracing over a few of them. They're not thick. But the scars are silvery, noticeable in the bright light. Maybe with makeup, they'd be invisible. But I want them there to remind me of my stupidity.

He touches the one directly on my left wrist, making me flinch. That one had hurt. And it was the one that did me in.

Well, almost.

"What drove you to finally... do it?"

He's a brave one. Much braver than the actual Romeo.

"Everyone questions themselves at some point in their lives. When it was my time to question what I lived for, I was left empty-handed. Life at home sucked, Jake was gone, and I thought I couldn't keep relying on the Cullen family; Edward not answering drove me over the edge, because without him I am nothing. It drove me mad to think I was empty. So I was ready to take the coward's way out. Lucky for me, Aunt Esme knew I wouldn't hole myself up in Edward's room without him actually there, and deduced something was wrong. So I survived."

Romeo's silence is charged.

"Ask."

"Aren't you afraid of having it happen again? You know, snapping?"

"Every damn day."

The next two weeks are a frenzy for me. I split my time between part-time jobs, school and the courthouse. I've already filed for emancipation, and handed in the evidence. Took pictures of my neighborhood, my house, even one of my mother passed out with a bottle of beer. Bank statements and bills from recent years. Signed letter from our neighbor, stating my mother came home at who-knows what hours, hollering and making a ruckus. I hand in proof that I can sustain myself financially. In a month, the case will be reviewed by the judge. My mother knows, and after much shouting, she finally agreed that it was the best option for me.

I'm already living above Joe's diner. It has a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom and a living room. Small, but cleaner and safer than my house. Joe gave me a special deal in exchange for me working at his diner two times a week for free for a few hours.

I send my mother a bit of money, from what I have left. I feel bad about leaving her, but she's destructing me. And even though I don't want to make her into the bad guy... I refuse to live like this. Stressing.

Aunt Esme doesn't know. Mom won't tell her because of pride. And that's just fine. I want to tell them, but on my own.

Halloween is here.

I head over to Edward's to prepare. Tanya is helping me with the hair, and Edward and I are leaving together for the party.

When I get there, Edward is already in his Han Solo outfit. The only element missing is the hair, but Edward is getting there. He looks very sexy, and I predict he will not be back home without at least having had a quicky. Damn, if only I could be attracted to him. As it is, Edward and I have seen each other through our worst phases, which only re-enforced our view of the other as a sibling.

"Bella, good luck in there. Your dress has already been laid out." Edward motions to Tanya's bedroom. I swallow. This is the first time in my life I will wear makeup... or a dress. Mom wasn't big on promoting me being girly.

"Wish me luck, Han."

"May the force be with you, Leia." He salutes me, and I disappear inside Tanya's room.

Twenty minutes later, I'm done. I'm wearing the white dress, which true to Edward's word, isn't baggy and it has a slit up one leg. I have a gun, though, so I'm satisfied. My hair is identical to Princess Leia's. Tan decided I needed mascara, eyeliner, and lip-gloss.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I almost don't recognize myself.

Tan is quiet, admiring me. I'm admiring me as well.

I never thought I could look this good.

"God, Bella, you look gorgeous." Tan breathes, twirling me around. I smile, satisfied with the outcome. Edward is going to freak when he sees me.

Edward doesn't disappoint me when he sees me go down the stairs. He's there, waiting with Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle.

His mouth drops and he's frozen for a solid minute.

His parents gush over me, telling me I look beautiful and that we must take a picture.

When Edward recovers, his question earns him a thwack on the back of the head.

"Bella, since when do you have _boobs_?" he spits out the word lie it's venom.

I'm not amused.

"If you're asking when did they start developing, the answer is since third grade. I will not answer which is my cup size nor will I let you touch them. Understood?" He looks properly chastised. I swear, we're like twins. Except for the fact that we have different mothers. I mean, Edward was born two days before me. Doesn't get weirder than that.

"I can tell you're a C, anyways." He mutters under his breath, making me gasp in outrage. How did he _do_ that?

"Children, stop fighting. Yes Edward, Bella is a woman, probably more than you're willing to admit. Now let's take the pictures."

I'm horrified. Did Aunt Esme just tell him I am more than likely not a virgin anymore? I mean, it's true, but still. Dude. Not cool. Besides, I did it with the man I loved and was mentally and emotionally prepared. Edward's first time was with Irina Denali, captain of the cheerleading squad. We were eighth graders; she was a senior. Christ.

"Mom, I do not want to have that mental image of Bella!" Edward shrieks, making everyone laugh but Uncle Carlisle. He's old fashioned. He condemns Edward's extracurricular activities, and from his look, he condemns mine even more.

"Picture time!"

So there will forever be a picture of Edward and I posing in various idiotic positions, Tan and I, Tan and Edward, Tan and Edward and I, then the kids with Aunt Esme and the kids with Uncle Carlisle.

Edward and I finally leave for Jimmy Nolan's Halloween party. Let me tell you, that kid knows how to make a house spooky. He's one of the most popular guys, next to Edward and Jamie. Ergo, Edward's posse is invited. The gang is already at the party, and even Ali told me she'd be there.

Our entrance to the party is worthy of Edward Cullen. There's catcalls, yelling and even a change of music to Queen's 'We Will Rock You'. And not to brag or anything, but despite my mostly modest dress and hairstyle, I get quite a few stares from the guys. Might be the gun strapped to my thigh, seen through the slit.

We mingle for a few minutes, trying to find everyone.

Ben is the first to find me.

"Hey Bella-" he stops when I turn around. He flushes, true geek style. "Woah. Princess Leia Organa. Pleased to meet you."

I grin, almost cracking my face in half.

"Ben, I present to you my not-yet husband, Han Solo." Ben tears his eyes off me and praises Edward instead.

"Woah man, sweet. Exact replica apart from the hair. You need about an inch or two more before pulling it off."

That's what I said.

"Ben, where's everyone else?"

Ben motions to the bar.

Jazz, Romeo and Jamie are in a deep discussion. Emmett is distracted with the girl in his arms. That's new. Emmett isn't the type of guy to have a girl per party. So who is she?

"Edward, Bella-" Jamie stops, taking his time to whistle. "Looking good, girl. Outshining Han as always."

I smirk. My costume is obviously better.

I start by saying hi to Romeo, who praises me. I move to Jazz, who is tongue-tied. He's my partner in watching Star Wars over and over, so we share the passion. I know he wanted to match with me this year, but Edward and I have that strict rule of Halloween, birthdays and eating competitions only between us. The only one allowed to be bent is the eating competition, in case we need more people.

Speaking of Jazz, Ali isn't here yet. I make a self-note to call her as soon as I'm done greeting.

"Jamie, I told you I'd impress you." I kiss his cheek, probably wounding the hearts of a few onlooking girls. When I try to kiss Emmett's cheek, cat-girlfriend (really, she's dressed like a sexy cat) makes a face so ugly I stop. Then I pull myself together and kiss his cheek anyway. This is the way I greet and nobody will stop me.

"Hiya Emmett. How's it hanging?" I step back, least the girl's claws will poke an eye out 'accidentally'.

"Good. Here Bella, this is my girlfriend. Rose, meet Bella Swan. Bella, this is Rosalie Hale. Bella is one of my best friends."

I really want to aww right now. Badly.

"Hi, nice to meet you." I extend my hand. Now way am I kissing that ball of STD. And I know I'm being judgmental because she's a girl. But dude, we all have our shit in life we're against. I'm against girls. But I try not to be. Nobody's perfect.

Sandra Dee (speaking of _Grease_ ) shakes my hand reluctantly.

When we let go, I discreetly wipe my hand. Romeo catches me, and I flush.

Now to see the costumes.

Ben is dressed like the skinny version of Batman, which I think is cute. Jazz is a zombie and Romeo is a torero (I'll mock him for that later). Jamie says he's too cool for costumes, so Edward and I forced on him fake teeth and colored contacts, so now he's Edward Cullen (he claims he's just a regular vampire). Emmett, good old sportsman that he is, dressed like a soccer player. He's been a basketball player, a football player, a tennis player and golf player in recent years. He says his final stunt will be a swimmer for when we're seniors. I'm looking forward to that. He's been saying that since we met.

And of course, Rose the Sexy Cat, but no one cares about her.

Someone taps my shoulder, and when I turn, it's Zombie Ali.

Yeah, I spilled the beans.

"Princess Leia!"

"Zombie Ali!" We hug briefly. I don't want her deadness to rub off on me.

"My men and Rose, you remember Alice Brandon? She remembers all of you."

They say hi, but Rose doesn't look too happy about the segregation.

She knows she shouldn't say anything, though. Edward and all that.

Girls arrive for Edward and Jamie. Jamie doesn't seem too thrilled, but I don't take pity on him. Instead I help Ali.

"Hey Jazz, you know who you have a lot to talk about with? Ali. She's into zombies, too. Mingle, you two." Then I flee with Romeo in tow. I don't bother with Ben, because he's speaking with this gamer friend of his... already in the other side of the party.

So Romeo and I go outside to the pool area, to a more secluded spot.

"You realize what you just did, right?" Romeo asks, motioning back towards Jazz. Now that his face is all healed up, I can further appreciate his hotness. Which is a lot. Believe me.

I shake my mind from dirty thoughts. He's already sort of taken.

"What, pair Jazz with Ali? Yeah, I know. She likes him."

"But have you considered that maybe _he_ doesn't like _her_?"

"Now way. He's so obvious about it. I'm just doing what's best for Jazz." I dismiss the thought immediately. I know Jazz. He doesn't act like that in front of any other girl.

"Maybe what's best for Jazz is if you don't meddle in his love life."

I squint at him.

"You know something I don't. I'd ask, but I figure that would be breaching your cousin/cousin confidentiality. At any rate, don't you dare tell me not to meddle. It's because of this meddlesome woman that you'll be able to get together with Ms. Invisible."

Romeo arches an eyebrow. He's drinking beer, and when he offers me, I decline.

"Ms. Invisible?"

"Well, nobody's seen her. Well, only you. She's invisible right now."

It's logical, right?

"You sure you don't want anything to drink? It might help with your intelligence. You know, have the opposite effect of alcohol and bring it back instead of driving it away."

He's so not funny.

"Ha ha. Romeo, you kill me. Really." I roll my eyes. "By the way, can I ask you something about this girl?"

"You may, but I might not answer."

Still not funny, stealing my words.

"What are you going to do when you find mystery girl?"

"I... Haven't thought that far."

Of course.

"Well, let's have fun for the night."

And we do. We dance, we mock each other's costume, we play rock paper scissors to see who will go check up on Ben. His Batman outfit is cute and all, but it might be an invitation to bullying. He loses, and when he comes back, he says everything is fine.

We mingle with other people. I hang out with the rest of the gang a lot, especially with Jazz and Jamie. Edward is busy seducing a ladybug, Emmett is with Rose and the football team, Ben has stolen Ali away and is seducing her with talk of Batman. They're all on the way to get blasted. I spot something suspicious in Edward's hand, so I swiftly make my way over to him.

"Hey Han, this princess isn't taking home any pothead. So think about it, alright?" I whisper in his ear.

Edward nods and puts down the 'cigarette'.

I go back to Jamie and Jazz's side. But Jamie is no longer there. Instead, he's with the basketball team.

Jazz, on the other hand, is 100% wasted.

I would take a few pictures of him, but guess what? My phone doesn't have a camera. Whatever. I'll commit the image to memory.

"Christ, Jazz, let's hope Ali doesn't see you like this. How shameful." I help him sit down on a plastic chair, handing him a glass of water.

"Ali this, Ali that. Stop talking about her, damn it! I don't like her that way!" Jazz slurs, splashing some water in his anger. I blink.

"Yeah, right. Drink your water, Jasper."

"Why am I the only one, huh?" he asks, hiccupping. I ask him to explain. "You call me by a silly nickname. Can't you call me Wit or something, Bella? Don't you like me?"

"Of course I do, Jazz. You're my friend."

But Jazz shakes his head and sets out to make this an awkward friendship.

"Because I love you, Bella. I've loved you since you stood up for me in front of the class. Like, seriously love you. God, I almost died when I found out you were in the hospital. And when you started dating Jake? You broke my heart, Bella-" he's getting closer and closer to me, where I'm crouched.

My heart clenches.

"Jazz, stop. Don't do this." I stand, take a step back, trying to process everything. Jazz stands as well, approaching me.

"Bella, I-"

"Yes, I get it, you love me, now stop it! Stop, Jasper! I don't want this, I don't..." I put a hand over my mouth, muffling my cries. We're being quiet enough nobody notices us, so I rip away the hand that Jazz is trying to grasp and walk away. I head to the pool area again, where there aren't as many people. I dry my tears and watch the few partygoers actually in the pool.

"So he told you." Romeo says in my ear out of bloody nowhere, scaring the soul out of me.

He calms me down eventually.

"You knew?" Romeo looks at me pointedly. Oh. That's what he knew, what we were talking about.

"I think it was pretty obvious. You're the only girl Jazz's talked about to the family. And that guy is more quiet than a thief assaulting a bank in the dead of the night."

Huh.

"And I'm flattered, obviously. But I _just_ got out of this thing with Jake. I haven't given _any_ guy any other thought. Much less Jazz, the guy I thought had a crush on Alice." I complain.

"Then you tell him that. He thinks so long as it isn't Edward you're in love with, he still has a chance. The question is, does he have a chance with you? Do you think you can fall for him?"

Jazz is the guy that's always drawing. He's the cool and silent type. He's handsome, so the physical part isn't an issue. And he's super smart and reliable. He's a nice person. But to me, he's Jazz. The guy that I once had a burping contest with. I can't see _that_ and still see him as a sexual prospect.

"No, I can't. He's Jazz. For me, Edward, Jazz, Ben, Emmett and Jamie are untouchable. I don't think about any of them that way. I just can't." I sigh, rubbing my eyes. "What do I do, Romeo? How do I go about this without making Jazz hate me?"

"You tell him the truth, take him seriously and treat him like a man. Say what you feel."

"What if he doesn't remember?"

"Trust me, one simply does not forget confessing his undying love. And even if he does, you have to tell him. No matter how awkward or how painful. You go through with it."

Romeo is surprisingly assertive.

"Okay." I sniffle once. "Is my makeup ruined?"

"No, you look beautiful."

I flush. Jake used to tell me I was beautiful all the damned time. I liked his praise. And when Romeo says it, maybe because of the torero outfit, I feel... flattered.

"Thank you, Don Juan. Now if you will, help me herd the gang into a cab. You all got here on cab as instructed, right?"

"Aye. At least Jazz and I did."

It's past three in the morning, and the party is starting to die down. I promised Aunt Esme I'd have Edward back before three thirty.

I search for the gang. I find Edward first, leaning against another ladybug. I make him say goodbye, and take Jamie with me too. Emmett says he's coherent enough, and that he has to send Rose home as well. I tell him I'll see him on Monday. He says to leave Ben to him because he's staying over at his house. Supporting a drunk-ass Edward and a very happy Jamie (his mom is going to kill him), we find Jazz and Romeo. I have two cabs called out there. One for Jazz and Romeo, one for us Three Musketeers. We say goodbye, Romeo warning me not to avoid the issue.

So I take home Jamie first. I knock on the door and hand him over to his father. Mr. Hunter likes me very much, thankfully, so he doesn't give me hell over letting his boy get drunk. However, his mother is in the distance. When she smells here son from the distance, she starts running over to the front door. She doesn't like me much, thanks to the whole hiding-her-son thing. I run back to the cab, giving him the fare so far courtesy of Mr. Hunter.

Then we head over to Edward's. I take out Edward's wallet and pay for the current fare. I tell the cabbie to wait for me. Then I go in and hand Edward over to his father. Uncle Carlisle stops me before I head out.

"Bella, how is everything? Your mother told Esme about..."

"The emancipation? Yeah, I figured she would sooner rather than later. It took me long enough. I have a court date, evidence and everything I need."

Uncle Carlisle looks sad.

"Bella, I know that she might not be the most reliable mother, but..."

"Uncle Carlisle, I don't want to say anything bad about her. But the hell she's put me through is just too much. I _need_ to live on my own."

"Won't you tell Edward or Tan the news?"

I consider it.

"I planned on telling all of you when everything was processed. But I guess, since that plan has been shot to hell, I'll say it sometime in the next two weeks. Probably." I hear the cabbie honk at me. "I have to go. I sort of want to go home right now. I'll be here bright and early tomorrow, though." it's odd for me to go home on a Friday night. As in, it's never happened before. But I need space.

"We'll talk more later. And Bella, you know that if you need anything, I'm here, right?"

"Thanks, Uncle Carlisle." I kiss his cheek and walk back to the cab. I tell him the address of my new home, and there's this voice in the back of my head, whispering that it feels right.

I wake up at around nine in the morning. I didn't bother changing. I also haven't bothered unpacking my shit much. I have to get to that.

I have a quick shower, washing away the smell of smoke, alcohol and general yuck from the party. I'm thorough in washing away the makeup.

I put on my black converse, jeans and long sleeved red v-neck shirt, courtesy of Tanya Cullen. I'm feeling girly today. I start putting my hair in a bun, but I decide to let it be in a high ponytail instead.

I feel like shit, but I figure if I look good, I can at least fool everyone and make them think I feel ok.

Seeing my apartment lifts my spirits. Nothing helps your mood like realizing life just got seven times easier. Not that I hate my mother. I resent her. Not even for not being around. She normally remembered important dates, and she'd occasionally pop by. She's a sweet person. But alcohol has destroyed her, and that's what I resent her for. While I live day to day, facing pain, she escapes from it. I guess, in some way, my suicide attempt was directly related to her way of coping. Escape.

I shake my head, clearing the awful thoughts.

I grab my keys, phone and wallet, stuffing them into my pockets. I check to see the gas is turned off and all lights are out. Then, upon locking the door, I check again to see if it's properly closed. One can never be too careful.

I walk the thirty minutes to Edward's house.

When I get there, Aunt Esme receives me with a suffocating hug.

"Bella, why didn't you stay the night? You always stay on Fridays. There hasn't been a Friday in the last eleven years that you haven't come here. What's wrong?" she gushes over me, checking for wounds. Then she registers I'm dressed nicely without having any input from another girl. She even notices my high ponytail as opposed to my bun.

"What..."

"Don't worry, Aunt Esme. I just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed. I had a lot to think about."

Understanding dawns on her, but I don't know of what. I'm sort of scared.

So she pulls me into the living room, where everyone is watching TV, saying something of helping me break the news. Oh no.

It seems she didn't get the memo from Uncle Carlisle of me waiting for a couple weeks.

"Everyone." Aunt Esme shuts off the TV. The three lying there complain, then see me and raise an eyebrow. "Bella has something she'd like to tell us."

I'm panicking. I don't know what to say. I don't know if I should.

Do I have to explain my reasons? Do I have to make my mom into the bad guy?

I gulp.

Aunt Esme's reassuring hand on my shoulder helps me.

"I haven't been completely honest with all of you. I've been having problems at home for a while now, and a few weeks ago I realized that I couldn't keep living with my mother. So I moved... On top of Joe's diner." I rush out everything.

Everyone blinks.

"Bella..." Tanya breathes, big blue eyes opened even wider than usual. Neither teen can believe it. And I'm assuming that Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle are just finding out the details.

"I haven't been so truthful to any of you. I mean, all of you had an inkling something wasn't going well at home. The truth is that ever since my father left, mom hasn't been around much. She works, but most of the money goes into drinks. She gets home late, drunk, and loud. So for the last two years, I've been working three part-time jobs in order to make ends meet at the end of the month." I sigh. I'm looking down at my hands, unable to look at any of them. I don't want to give the Cullens a bad image of my mother. But I have to be truthful; it's the least they deserve after the hell I've put them through.

"Oh, honey..." Aunt Esme is horrified.

"At the beginning of the month, mom spent all her salary on alcohol for the ninth time. She even got a credit card and spent a lot of money we don't have. So I decided it was the last straw, and that I'm getting emancipated." I swallow, my eyes flickering nervously around the room. "I wasn't all that truthful to you, about my reasons behind the... suicide attempt. Jake was a part of it, sure. But he was only the thing that drove me over the edge. I was frustrated, in debt, fighting with my mother over money, working four jobs, holding up a scholarship and trying to maintain a social life." I'm crying, my nose snotty. "I'm sorry."

"Shit." Edward curses, and this time, not even Aunt Esme bothers chastising him. He stands up and walks to the door. "I'm going out for a walk."

He slams the door closed.

I panic. I react before I even know what I'm doing.

I chase after Edward. He's running, knowing I'll go after him.

I catch up to him, hardly. He's fast when he wants to.

I grab his arm, make him look at me. His eyes are bloodshot, meaning he's about to cry.

I cry harder.

"Don't hate me, Edward! I didn't know what to do. Mom had too much pride and told me not to say anything. Before I knew it, I was doing everything in my power to keep you from finding out. I'm sorry I hid everything."

Edward's mood is dangerous, because I don't know it.

"Sorry? _Damn_ it Bella, for how long did you think you could hide something this big? Are you an idiot? Why didn't you ask for help? Why didn't you say anything? Why? Why?"

Edward is hurting for me.

"Pride." I state, drying my tears and snot. There's no other explanation. "Do you know what it's like in my house? Barely enough money for ten minutes of hot water. Scarce food. My first breakfast in the morning is orange juice and a toast. I live in one of the worst neighborhoods in town. The guy in front of me used to be a mercenary. Winters are long and awful. Edward... I didn't want any of you, who have everything, to see me that way." my voice breaks.

That's the root of it all. I didn't want anyone to see my weakness.

Stupid pride.

"Is that what all the secrecy is about?"

I nod, lip quivering.

"I work as a tutor, a waitress and in a bookstore. Now, because I'm living on top of Joe's, I work in his diner twice a week to put in for the little rent I miss. Before the attempt, I also worked as an editor." I wipe away my tears, which are still flowing. "I didn't want you to see me like that."

Edward processes what I'm telling him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me anything? Not even that your mom drank?"

I shrug, my bottom lip still quivering.

"And what? Play the victim? I don't care if my mother decides that John Walker is her new husband. She coped that way. She never hit me or said a hurtful word. But she was drinking up our money. I draw the limit when there's no money for food or even a warm shower." I smile when Edward wipes away a tear. "I don't want you to hate my mom. I still love her. She did her best to not leave. I know she would've wanted to go after dad, demand an explanation. But she stayed for me. I love her for staying."

Edward hugs me.

"You're so stupid, Bella. Really." he rests his cheek against the crown of my head. "I would've helped you or done something. All this time, I thought your biggest problem was keeping up the scholarship and Jacob Black."

Something clicks.

"Wait. Did Black ever visit your place?" I bite my lip, then nod. I can't keep up with the lies. "What the hell, Bella? Why him and not me?"

"Love makes fools of us, Wardo. He didn't know everything. Just about my part-time jobs and house. I stopped trying to get him not to walk me home after the third date. He was too stubborn."

"He still knew more than me." Edward grumbles, but he doesn't let me go.

"I'm sorry." I apologize again.

"Any other secrets I should know about?"

I think about it.

"Well, firstly, I'm not a virgin anymore. Thought you had the right to know." During middle school, we'd promised each other to tell the other when we had our first time. I just hadn't found the right time, even though Edward _had_ kept his end. But he'd been bragging. Should I also tell him my first time _wasn't_ with Jake? Better not; too troublesome.

"I will pretend you're still as innocent as the day you were born. And?"

I smile slightly.

"Um... something happened yesterday, but I don't know if I'm breaching some sort of unsaid pact."

Thou shalt not speak of friends confessing their love to you.

"Tell me anyways."

I clutch Edward tighter to me.

"During the party, Jazz was very drunk. He... told me he loved me." I squeeze my eyes shut, prepared for the worst and hoping for the best.

Edward deflates.

"Goddamn it, I told him to wait." I take a step back, raising both eyebrows. He knew?

"You knew?"

"Bella, _everyone_ knows. You're the only one blind enough not to see."

I punch Edward on the arm.

"What the hell?"

"And you let me keep trying to pair up Jazz and Ali? You bastards!"

Edward is trying not to laugh.

"We found Jazz's suffering amusing." He rubs his arm. Yeah, I punch hard. "I told him that he shouldn't say anything until we were certain you were over Black. I guess he mistook your calm as being over your ex. Can't blame the guy."

I'm gaping, not being able to believe such a guy exists.

"Yeah, so now what am I supposed to say? 'Hey Jazz, sorry for the years of suffering, but guess what? I don't see you that way. Hope we stay friends!'. Not likely." I glare at him.

"Or you could try liking him."

"Not an option. Physically, Jazz is handsome but not my type. Personality-wise, I love him as a friend but not as a boyfriend. He's too brooding, too quiet for me. Furthermore, I don't want to ruin the friendship. If something goes wrong in the relationship, it'd split the group apart. I won't allow it."

"So he's in a strict friend-zone." I nod, guilty but honest. Jazz is a friend.

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Besides, he thinks he's in love with me. He doesn't know all of me. He hasn't seen my worst to the degree you or Jake have. He and I have never had a real conversation. He doesn't know my insecurities. He only knows the face I show everyone. He doesn't really love me, he knows nothing about me!" I'm frustrated, not sure if I'm trying to convince Edward or myself.

Edward pats my head.

"I just found out today of a whole new side of you. And I loved you before and I love you now. And you should have seen him when he went to the hospital to see you. He was freaking out so bad it was painful. He _loves_ you. Don't belittle his feelings, Bella. That's the worst thing you could do."

I chew on my lip, resigned.

"I'm going to have to speak to him, right?"

"Sooner rather than later."

"Damn."

We head back to the house. I send Jazz a text, telling him to meet me at the park in an hour. Immediately, there's a reply that says a simple ok.

Back in the Cullen house, the three family members are in deep discussion while having breakfast.

They question me. They accuse me of lying and then they accuse my mother of negligence. They curse for me, cry for me and complain for me. They give me hell about not saying anything before. Aunt Esme is so upset she swears she will never speak to my mother again. I tell her not to do that, because it might push her over the edge.

After forty excruciating minutes, they let me go.

Tanya, though, stops me just as I'm halfway out the door.

"Bella, you look very beautiful like this." she smiles slightly, honestly. She touches my hair. "I wish you could let your hair down more often. And I really hope you start buying girlies clothes."

I grin.

"Tell you what. One of these days, come shopping with me. I might be ready to use a skirt to school. And then who knows, maybe I can start wearing them outside." Tanya's excitement is palpable. At least she understood. I don't dress the way I do because it's cool. It's been a necessity in order to save money.

But now? I'm ready to start looking like a girl again.

"Thanks for coming, Jazz." I'm sitting on one of the benches in front of the fountain. I'm leaning on my knees, looking to the side as my friend sits down.

"You look great. I didn't know you had such long hair." He doesn't look nervous. More like he knows what's going to happen.

"Well, I felt like using a different hairstyle today." I clear my throat, straightening my back. "You know why I called you here, right?"

Jazz nods, fidgeting.

I avoid looking at him directly, instead looking at the fountain.

"Please look at me when you reject me, Bella. It's all I ask for." I flinch but comply. He's right. He deserves it.

I look him in the eye. His blue eyes, so much like Romeo's and yet not the same, are looking at me head on. Without wavering.

"I was very flattered when you told me you loved me. And it made me happy to think that such a great guy thinks of me that way." I begin, trying to make it clear that his confession wasn't a burden. Isn't.

"But..." He sighs, still not breaking his gaze away.

"I wish I could tell you that I don't want to ruin our friendship. It's true, but that's not it. I've done a lot to keep this group together. I... Was ready to take back Jake." I'm ashamed, but I was. During the two weeks after our breakup, I kept thinking that, if he came back, I'd take him, no questions asked. "But I didn't. It would injure my friendship with all of you, so I willingly gave him up. And I don't regret it. I'd do anything to not injure this group of friends. I consider you as close to my heart as any of the boys-"

"But you love Edward more, don't you? Edward is always first for you." Jazz accuses.

I can't deny that.

"Edward has been there literally since I was born. I don't have a single memory that doesn't include him. Jamie came along when we were seven, Emmett and Ben when we were twelve and you since two years ago. I spend every Friday night at his house. I have breakfast there every morning but Sunday and dinner there everyday. I have a special connection with Edward. One I cherish too much. I will never date Edward, if that's what you're asking. Anyone but him."

I have to be clear with that. I can't have him misunderstand.

But Jazz isn't satisfied yet.

"What about Riley? You spend a lot of time with him. More time than you've ever spent with a single one of us." Jazz is getting jealous, more defiant with every word that comes out of his mouth.

Romeo?

I'm surprised by the question. I haven't thought of it much.

"Romeo is my friend. Nothing more and nothing less. I don't see him that way. He's handsome and has a lot of strong points, but I don't like him that way. He isn't one of my boys. Since the start, he's been in a different place from you all. But he's no more to me than you or Ben."

Jazz is sulking.

"So you aren't putting him in the friend zone but he isn't a romantic prospect either. Meaning that love could grow."

I wouldn't put it that way. Romeo is very much in the friend zone.

"It's unlikely anything will ever happen between us. He likes another girl and I don't see him that way. So stop talking of a Romeo and me." I'm firm, resolute.

Jazz nods in understanding.

"What was I saying?" I shake my head. "Oh, right. I could tell you it's about not ruining our friendship, but that would be a lie, because I have confidence you and I would be mature enough to overcome a breakup. However..." I pause, telling myself that those aren't tears in Jazz's eyes. "I don't see you that way. I'm not placating you when I say this, but you're a fantastic guy. I love the things you create, and I love how cool you are. I know your intelligence better than yourself and your dry humor. You're caring, kind and a reliable friend. I love how unathletic and yet how fit you are. I love how you get so into your drawings you forget to eat. I see what a great guy you are. And I love you. But I can't give you more than that. I wish I could, but I can't."

I wait, done. Jazz is crying, and the sadness in his face breaks my heart.

He leans forward and wipes a tear that escaped. His finger is tender, which makes more tears spill.

"Why are you crying? I'm the one that just got rejected." He grins weakly, making me laugh dryly.

"Because I wish I didn't have to hurt you. You don't deserve it."

"I'm just glad you didn't say you were sorry. I always hate it when they do that in movies."

That reminds me.

I grasp his hand, lowering it to my lap.

"I _do_ have to apologize for something, though. I'm sorry for the hell I've put you through in the last few months. It must've been hard enough as a friend. I wish I'd been strong enough to ask for help. I'm glad... that you and the rest have stuck around, though."

"I wouldn't have it any other day."

I look down at my watch, which says I have an hour until I have to get to work.

I scrutinize Jazz.

"Do you mind giving me a ride somewhere? There's a few things I want to explain."

I spend the whole ride telling him what I just told the Cullen family. Jazz is shocked and mad at my mother. I tell him he has to come to my new apartment sometime soon, give me a hand unpacking.

When he drops me off at the bookstore, we're practically back to normal.

"I'll see you on Monday, Jazz." I close the door, then think twice and knock on the glass. He lowers the passenger window. "One last thing. Alice... You really should give her a shot. She's a very nice, genuine girl. At least as a friend."

Jazz's smile is mocking.

"You know why I always blushed when she came up?" I shake my head. It's a good question. "She found out I'm in love with you. I was always wondering when she would tell you, but I guess she never did."

"Oh." I blush, embarrassed. I guess I owe Alice an apology too. "Well, have a safe trip."

I watch Jazz's car speed away.

I'm glad he took it so well.

* * *

 **Yay! I finally managed to upload like a thousand words more. So, did any of you guess how Jazz felt about her? Cause I did. ;) lol, JK. Anyways, this is the end of this mini spree. I'll keep working on the rest of the chapters (there's quite a few left; I'm doing this on Pages, and I'm only on page 62... out of 162), so maybe you should expect another mini posting spree in like a week or two.**

 **Leah.**


	7. Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

**DISCLAIMER: I USED TO OWN A DOG, BUT I'VE COME TO REALIZE SHE LIKES EVERYONE MORE THAN ME. SO I'VE DISOWNED HER, AND NOW I OWN NOTHING, INCLUDING TWILIGHT.**

* * *

Monday arrives. Sunday was spent unpacking and then going to work. I decide I _do_ need a fresh start. I want to rebuild myself. I want to be someone deserving of Jazz's love. Deserving of praise.

I make two important changes. I wear a different uniform and I let my hair down. My hair is well taken care of and almost reaches my ass. I sweep my fringe to the side, thankful it's long enough to push behind my ear when it gets annoying. I properly wear the girl's uniform for the first time. The skirt is ten fingers above my knee, probably longer than 90% of the girls' skirts. I wear the white button up long-sleeved shirt with the first two buttons popped, revealing for the first time my ever-present necklace. But I wear my converse. No way am I leaving with ballet flats or some shit like that.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm satisfied with what I see. I look like a pretty girl, even without the makeup. I look confident. I'm impressed with how good I look in this uniform. It really is cute. The only thing I'm nervous about is how the boys will react to it.

Will they be disgusted? Will they be impressed positively? Will they not give a damn? Probably the latter.

I drink some orange juice and wash my teeth, knowing I'll eat at Edward's. Aunt Esme had promised me an extra big breakfast today, anyways.

I leave my apartment. There are a few clients, having an early breakfast.

Joe chokes when he sees me through the kitchen's window. I've frequented his diner for the last four years, and this is the first time he sees me in a skirt. It's also the first time I've worn a skirt in ten years. I'm always being told by Tan I have great legs and that I should show them off, so now I am.

Joe's surprise makes me feel strangely triumphant.

I walk to Edward's, like usual. Even though it is a half-hour walk, I have time. And I like walking; it allows me to think.

This morning is different from the most. A few guys cat call. They must not recognize me, because I do. They always hang out there in the morning. They'd never so much as glanced at me.

Now they're definitely paying attention.

When I get to the Edward's, Aunt Esme drops the pancake she was making. Uncle Carlisle drops his coffee on his pristine shirt. I greet them with a devious smile. Then I go up the stairs to Edward's room.

"Wake up sunshine! It's a brand new day, ready to be conquered!" I shake him, just like I always do. He mumbles something about leaving him alone. I blow on his ear.

"FUCK BELLA, I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!" He bolts up, missing my nose narrowly.

His eyes are open.

His mouth is too.

"Swan? Bella?" He stutters, eyes fighting between my boobs and legs.

"Edward, my eyes have always been on my face." His eyes snap up, blushing.

"Bella... You're hot?"

I feel torn between annoyance and smugness.

"What, you think Jake would've dated an ugly girl?" I scoff, only half kidding. He'd almost seemed relieved when we were having sex and he saw I did have a nice body.

Edward is still staring.

"What brought this on?"

I shrug. Edward catches the movement of my boobs.

Once a pervert, always a pervert.

"After talking with Jazz, I feel like it's time to change. I really let go of Jake. I'm ready to get back out there, find someone new. Better. I'm done wallowing and doing nothing." I clear my throat. "Now, I'll be waiting for you downstairs, just like every other day."

I stomp downstairs, and an eerie silence greets me when I enter the kitchen. Breakfast is laid out for everyone but Tan, who gets in later. Aunt Esme is sitting down to Uncle Carlisle's right, who sits at the head.

I sit to Uncle Carlisle's left, just like always, and dig in to my extra big breakfast.

Uncle Carlisle, sporting a fresh shirt, lowers the newspaper.

Both stare at me.

"I'm dressed like this because I want to. Nobody made me and I'm not wearing makeup again except for occasions such as Halloween. And yes, I will cut my hair today like five fingers because this hair is obnoxiously long." I mumble between swallowing and inserting more food.

"Oh, alright." Aunt Esme sighs. Uncle Carlisle takes up reading again, bored again.

We keep eating in comfortable silence until Edward storms down the stairs.

"Mom! Mom! Did you see Bella? Did you know she had legs? And I can actually tell she has boobs this way!" he plops down next to me.

I roll my eyes.

Aunt Esme isn't amused either.

"Listen, my sparkling son-" yeah, we got her hooked on _Twilight_. Now she calls Edward that way when she feels he needs a shame-inducing name. "That is enough. This is Bella's choice, and she looks lovely."

Something goes off in her head.

"Oh dear, I hadn't told you how great you looked! I'm sorry, I was thinking of other things. But you do, truly. This look suits you." Aunt Esme smiles warmly, calming a bit of my incoming nerves.

"Thanks, Aunt Esme. It means a lot to me."

When Edward and I take off, he's still staring at me.

"What?"

"Bella, you look like a fucking model." Edward blurts out, surprising me. "Minus the height, of course, but there's nothing to be done about that. But I didn't know your hair was that shiny and that you had such long legs. And seriously, what's with the hair length? Where did you stuff all that and why? It's so straight and smooth and brown..." Edward trails off, touching my hair. I slap his hand away, but it just comes back.

"You do realize the position you've put me in, right? I'm going to have to ward off the whole male population." Edward murmurs, running his fingers through my hair, probably planning how he's going to do it.

"No warding off. I'm _trying_ to be more approachable. If it's because they want to bang me, whatever, because _I_ know I'm not easy or weak and helpless. I just want to expand my circle of friends more. Right?" my voice clearly indicates Edward has to agree or has to agree.

"Ok." Edward is too distracted on my hair, so I let him play with it until we get to school. Then I slap his hand away hard enough to keep it off.

My heart starts pounding when we get to the school's gate. It's always crowded, but it seems to have extra people today.

They all stare at me. Either they recognize me and are shocked or they don't and are wondering who the fuck I am.

We approach the gang.

Jamie and Romeo are facing away from me. Jazz is the one that sees me come, and his jaw drops comically. He slaps Emmett, who's holding Rose, and then he slaps Ben. Ben blinks and punches Jamie, telling him too look back. Romeo does so as well, and now they're all gaping.

Even the ladybug is surprised.

"Bella?" it's Jamie who asks, and I give a smile in return.

"What happened?" Emmett asks as well, to his girlfriend's displeasure. I shrug.

"Someone made me see I needed a fresh start. This is how I'm doing it."

Jazz smiles to himself. He looks like he understands. Of all of them, Jazz was always the one that understood me the most. How lucky.

"Y-You aren't dating Jake again, are you?" Ben stammers.

All eyes turn to me.

"No! Why did you reach that conclusion? I'm never getting back together with Jake, people, get it through your thick heads!" I fume. Everyone relaxes.

"She looks great, but it's still Bella." Jamie sighs in relief. I thwack the back of his head.

Everyone agrees, though. Only the cousins are still staring at me.

Awkward.

"Well, I don't think Ben, Jazz, Romeo or I have seen Bella in a skirt or with her hair down. It looks nice." Emmett offers, making me smile. He might have a girlfriend, but it's obvious he still finds me important enough to speak his mind despite possibly spiting her.

"Thanks."

"Well, I only saw her like that until half of first grade. Come the second semester, she was what we'd known her until today." Jamie says, and Edward agrees with him. "Now that I think about it, why _had_ that begun?"

The bell rings.

I sigh in relief.

"Saved by the bell. See ya bunch in class!"

I walk away fast, ignoring stares and whispers.

Walking up the stairs, I follow the modest girls' example and stick to the walls, unwilling to let anyone see even the shorts I have underneath. I have foresight, which is why I brought them; otherwise, I'd be flashing everyone my _Spongebob Squarepants_ undies.

Walking into math class, Mr. Banner stops me.

"Excuse me miss, are you new?" He takes a good look at my face and leans back, amused. "Ms. Swan, what a pleasant change. I didn't recognize you. I hope this means you'll start behaving in my class?"

I laugh.

"Not a chance."

During lunch, I go up to the rooftop. Romeo is there, waiting for me.

"That's quite a change you made, missy." He points at my outfit. We're lying on the floor, gazing up. The cold is becoming more prominent, but nothing unbearable.

"Yes well, it was the least I could do."

"Dave told me what you said. I just wanted to thank you for not lying to him and saying you didn't want to ruin the friendship." Romeo says. I smile to myself, closing my eyes. He never thanks me for anything, but apparently, this was important enough to.

"I owed Jazz that much. And I really _am_ sorry I can't like him. I know that falling for him would be easy and painless. But at the end of the day, he's not my type."

"I never told you this, but that Jake guy was _huge_. You really liked such a gangster-looking guy?"

I laugh, finding funny the way he put it.

"He was such a geek and a softie, it was easy to forget his size. You wouldn't believe the amount of nights we'd stay up until dawn just playing a video-game or talking of movies."

I sigh contently, remembering those days.

Plus, his size made for an _excellent_ lover.

I halt my train of thought before I can go into _that_ section of my brain.

"He also told me what you told him. Of your conditions."

Oh.

"Did he tell everyone this morning?"

"Of course. They forgot, of course, when they saw you. But you may expect a total investigation later on."

His silence is charged.

"Talk, damn it."

"Why didn't you tell anyone your mother is an alcoholic, or that you needed financial aid, or that you're getting emancipated? Or of your jobs? I thought everyone knew of the bookstore part-time." It all comes tumbling out.

"It was my business. Not even Edward knew, or his parents or sister. I wanted to deal with everything."

"Can I ask something else?"

"You're going to anyways, so what the heck?"

"Why did you start dressing like a tomboy? The real reason?"

Fuck, I might as well tell him.

"When I was in pre-school, I made friends with a girl called May. The friendship lasted for a year and a half. Halfway through first grade, I found out she back stabbed me. She made friends with the rest of the girls, and cast me aside. I had tomboyish tendencies because of how much I hung out with Edward and his friends. When she finally got swept aside by the girls, she was ignoring me and calling me a tomboy as well. So I saw no reason to be girly anymore, and I started dressing more comfortably to play with the boys. This summer, May transferred to another school. It was like a long torture was over. End of story."

"You should make a film of your life."

I agree.

How very fucked up.

"Do you hate her?"

I think about what he's telling me.

"Part of me does. She reminds me of life before my father left my mother and I. She's always been the 'what if' for me. What if my father hadn't left? What if I had hung out less with boys? What if I got along with girls? It doesn't matter anymore, of course. I'm over what she did, I don't hold grudges for such a long time. She transferred when sophomore year ended, so I don't see her anymore. But if I saw her in the streets, I wouldn't say hi. She wouldn't be my friend again, either. I'd probably stand her just barely. I don't trust May. Even if she was just a kid... I don't trust her."

I remember how much fun we had when we played. She used to have the biggest crush on Edward, too. I encouraged her. I wanted my two most important friends to be together. And Edward liked her, too. He was always bugging her, and he once told me he really liked May. Then she hurt me, and Edward took my side, never glancing twice at her, which only strengthened her insults.

"Well, it's big of you to not completely hate her, even though she obviously left you with a trauma." I open my eyes and find Romeo is looking at the sky.

I take a moment to assess him with the corner of my eye.

He's gotten more handsome. He told me his real hair color is chestnut, not blond. And his eyes always shine brighter under the sun. His piercings give him an edgy look, but because he's now wearing a long sleeve too I can't see his tattoo. He's one of the prettiest men I've ever seen, and truly, even more so than Jake.

Since the start, Romeo has held a special place in my heart. I enjoy talking to him, too. He isn't particularly funny or talkative, mostly asking questions or making short comments. But I never feel the need to fill silences. And his viewpoint of certain things is so interesting and deep I always ask him to elaborate. He's aloof and a troublemaker. He's loyal to a fault and crude if provoked. He's curious, too. Always asking me about gossip, or just general stuff about people. But he's likable, and even Edward has warmed up to him. He likes skipping class and not turning in homework. But he's freaky good at mental math and most of other subjects except biology.

He loves reading, riding his bike and extreme sports. He watches football until his eyes dry up, but he sucks at it, so he goes to the gym for exercise.

What made me respect him as a person was his unending love for his family.

It warms my heart. It makes me wish I felt that way for my mother and father. Makes me wish I had a real sibling. The connection I have with Edward is different than the one he has with Tan. It looks unbeatable.

I look away.

 _Do_ I like Riley Paris Marks as something more than a friend? It takes me but a moment to decide that no, I don't. He's a good guy, and likable, but he's not my type. Romeo is too serious, too fleeting, and truthfully, too much of a Romeo. What I feel for him is a close connection. He understands me and is interested in me in a way few men are. He's earned a place in my heart that puts him just below Edward. A bit more important than the gang, but not as important as Edward, the only person I trust more than myself.

Romeo is, for lack of better words, my best friend.

It leaves me wondering where that lives Edward.

By the middle of November, my emancipation has been granted. My mother agreed with my decision, which made it easier. There was enough evidence and motive to make a case. I have an income. The only thing that gave me a slight problem was the suicide attempt, but as part of my reasons I said that the stress of my home life pushed me over the edge, and that ever since I'd been living alone, I had less stress. I was assessed by a psychologist, who found no fault in me. When everything was over, in order not to lose my mother, I promised her to visit once in a while.

Finals two weeks from now, my life has a new routine. No more stressing over money. No more restricting myself if I wanted to have a damn diet coke at school. I also began buying more trinkets for myself; books, ornaments, some nicer clothes.

My male classmates still weren't quite used to my looks. Boys gaped. Girls either glared at me or approached me to give me a compliment. In other words, my self-esteem shot up. Edward still repeated at least once a day he couldn't believe I had legs or boobs. Most boys marveled at my body, fit from moving around a lot and going to the gym whenever I could. Girls _loved_ my hair.

I have to say, I should've done this years ago.

As to my situation with Jazz, things have smoothed over. He still doesn't quite look me in the eye, but he's stopped flinching every time I give him a hug and kiss goodbye. He's also started hanging out with Alice. I did have to speak with her, demanding to know why she hadn't told me Jazz was in love with me and not her. Crying and sniffling, Ali told me she just wanted Jazz to _see_ I didn't love him, to the point of pairing him up. Cruel? Yes. Cold hearted? Maybe. Would I have done the same thing? No, but for most women, desperate times call for desperate needs.

And then there was Romeo.

With my newfound closeness to him, I work harder to find Ms. Invisible for him. He deserves to be happy, and if Ms. Invisible is what it takes, then that's what I'll look into. We visit every place we can think of, search for the friends the girl was with, but all to no avail. He's growing increasingly hopeless, but I try my best to cheer him up. I'll find that girl or die trying.

Anyways, as winter gets nearer, so does the Sadie Hawkins dance.

My nightmare and yet, my favorite dance. Favorite, because I don't feel compelled to ask any boys and ergo, not go to the dance at all. Nightmare, because hanging around Edward or any of the boys is unthinkable because of the hoards of women surrounding them. I'm annoyed lately, because I can't spend much time with Edward. He's normally with the populars during school, but every once in a while he spares me a lunch or something. Yet with all the skanks surrounding him, I can't even sit with him in History class. That is one annoyance I have, and besides that, I can't stand the romantic air floating around the school. I might be readying myself to date again, but that doesn't mean I like all these pheromones around me.

"Ms. Swan, would you care to tell the class about what you're thinking so deeply about?" Mr. Banner slams a book on my desk, startling me and making me jump. The class laughs, making me blush. I'm sitting with Romeo and Jazz is sitting with Edward behind us. Jazz hasn't sat with me since the confession, forcing his cousin instead to sit with me.

I never let it slide, so every morning Jazz does that, I glare for a solid ten minutes.

So far, he's only caught the glare once.

Edward benefits from the arrangement, though, copying from Jazz and escaping the hoards of girls for a while.

"I was thinking that that tie makes you look younger, Mr. Banner. Blue really is your color; it makes your eyes pop." The class laughs, and we all watch as Mr. Banner sputters for a thing to say. He's used to these answers of mine, but ever since my change, his wit has gone down by half.

"Ms. Swan, pay attention to math class. This is not an episode of _Fashion Police_."

Did I mention Mr. Banner is British? Yeah, his accent and looks really make the ladies sigh.

His accent even gets _me_.

"No sir. Understood." I salute, and after an irate sigh, Mr. Banner continues the lesson.

"Say Bella, why do you like bothering Mr. Banner so much?" Romeo whispers to me, making sure the teacher is far away enough he can't hear us.

"I dunno. Rigging on him is the highlight of my day. It's like poking the bear, only this one pokes back." I whisper back, hastily doing the problem on the board.

"Could it be that you..." He trails off, giving hints. I stop writing, blink, snort, then keep solving the problem. Well, attempting to anyways.

"Like him? No, he's just cool as a teacher. Please, I might like older guys, but I'm not stupid enough to fall for a teacher." I shake my head, snickering to myself. Seriously. Such guts.

"How much older than you was Jacob Black?"

"Three years. And the guy before him, Alec Müller, was seven years older than me. I dated him sophomore year during the fall, before I met Jake. And before Alec, I dated Mike Newton, ten years older than me, that summer." Romeo's eyes are popped wide open. "What? I never said there was _no one_ before Jake."

Romeo's stunned silence gives me a sense of satisfaction.

The bell rings, and Romeo pesters me with questions during our class change.

"You dated men _that_ old when you were _that_ young? Were they pedophiles or something?" He sounds truly shocked, be it of the age or actual predecessors I don't know.

I laugh.

"God, no. I met Alec working at the restaurant. He was a regular customer and he always gave me an extra tip. I thought he looked like a really nice person, so when he asked me out, I said yes."

"What did he work in?"

I bite my lip, smug.

"Model." Romeo's mouth drops. I know, I surprise myself, too. But what can I say? I can be nice and a flirt. I never claimed to be innocent before Jake, or at all, for that matter. Tomboy doesn't equal celibate.

My dirty little secret? My first had been Alec.

"You dated a _model_ with those grungy looks of yours?" Romeo sounds almost offended by the prospect. I feel offended _he's_ offended.

"For your information, the waitressing uniform shaped my body nicely. That, and he always bought me clothes for our dates, so he made me wear them and made me wear my hair in a high ponytail." I mumble, blushing. _Plus, he never had any problems with my grungy looks when we were_ both _sweaty and grungy_ , I think to myself evilly.

"Why'd you break up?"

For the best mistake in my life.

"I met Jake. Alec and I had been dating for four months. I loved him but I loved Jake more. The end."

Romeo almost trips on nothing. Why is the way to Biology so long?

"Wait, you dated a _model_ and _you_ dumped him?" Romeo shakes his head, shuddering. "What is _wrong_ with this world?"

Truth is, I had loved Alec, in my own way. More so than his heavenly German looks, he had a very kind heart and a wit that rivaled mine. But he wasn't the one for me. Our breakup was amicable, because he knew, too, that our relationship was going nowhere. We had a _lot_ of fun while it lasted (plus lots of sex in lots of places), but Alec wanted more seriousness that I could give him, and he knew he wouldn't find it in me.

"What about the other guy? The one ten years older?"

We go in the class, Romeo sitting beside me as is often normal.

I lick my lips. Damn, they're drying up.

"Oh, Mike? He and I were together for the summer that year. Photographer. I met him when I was buying some things for my camera, and he crashed into me so hard my camera fell and broke. He bought me a new one and asked if I would go on a date with him. He looked younger and I looked older. We hit it off. Then it was over because he had to go back to his regular job in Prague." Romeo feigns getting a heart attack.

"A model and a photographer. What's next, an actor?" he sounds bewildered. "Furthermore, you were fifteen and he was twenty-five! What was he _thinking_?"

"That I was almost sixteen and cute." I flash Romeo an award-winning smile.

Mike had been nice. Gangly, wind blown blonde hair and the cutest dimple. His sense of humor made me cry a few times and his height was very alluring. His fashion sense was very cool; he wore hipster glasses, jeans, converse, a funny shirt and a checkered button-down over it, sleeves rolled up and buttons popped.

Plus, he knew the best places for a date. Most of them had been out in the open, and some of the sunsets I saw with him were unforgettable.

Romeo is looking at me like I grew a second head.

"Both rich and famous?"

I nod hesitantly. Both were in high demand. Mike also photographed models.

"Neither geeks or stupid?" I shake my head no.

"And what was so special about Jacob Black, then? That guy had been huge and geeky." Romeo is entering the step before hysteria.

Following the same outline I've been describing my exes in, I tell him.

"I met Jake when I was visiting Ben. They were playing videogames. We started rigging on Ben together. We went home at the same time, and his house was in the same direction as Edward's, so he walked me. Before I realized it, I wanted to see him again. It took a day before he'd gotten my cell from Ben and asked me out, then three to convince me to go on a date with him, and a week to get me to break up with Alec. Two weeks after that, we went on out first date. The rest is history." Almost everyone has arrived, but the teacher is always late, so we have another five minutes.

"What is he studying?"

I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Law."

I swear, Romeo looks like he's considering imitating the painting of The Scream.

"So you've dated a model, a professional photographer and a lawyer-to-be. Meanwhile, my first and only girlfriend in sixth grade lasted for a week and she traded me for a nose-bleeding kid. Are you a man-eater or something?"

I think he should start watching his words.

I roll my eyes.

"It's called charisma, Romeo. Some of us are born with it. And they were men looking for a woman without the petty jealousy and gold digging involved. I so happened to not care for their money and inheritance. They liked lavishing me, but not once did I ask for anything, and I had my limits. Alec bought me a car once, and I made him take it back."

The fury (at myself for not accepting and at him) I felt with Alec when I saw the blue Porsche almost made me cry.

Romeo's jaw is agape.

I close it, rolling my eyes again.

"Some men aren't so vain and look for happiness before external beauty. You should try it, you know? Liking someone for who they _are_ and not who they _seem_ to be."

It's the first time I've made a comment regarding his choice of love. He believes in the shell. For me, it was just a coincidence those guys had money and looks. And when my relationship with them had been over, I returned everything I'd ever gotten from them (although I _did_ keep the lingerie Alec bought me, some pictures Mike gave me and a stuffed bear Jake won for me at a carnival). Returning heels, clothes, jewelry and other trinkets had been hard, but it wasn't mine anymore. And they left me, knowing they'd found someone who really hadn't cared for their money. Jake's stuff I'd torched.

Except this really awesome sweatshirt, but no biggie.

"Love at first sight isn't vain. It's just like a very heavy first impression."

Smooth.

"And how come none of the guys ever mention those two before Jake?" I start flushing, trying to look elsewhere. "Bella?"

"I might've never told them. I mentioned going on dates, but not exactly that I was _in_ a relationship with my date." I smile angelically.

Romeo is dumbfounded.

"So this Jake guy, he really was that much better than a model and photographer?"

I smile.

"Nope. Not as funny, romantic or positive as Mike. Nor was he as handsome, kind or rich as Alec." Romeo looks like he understands less and less.

"So why him?"

"Real love feels different from infatuation or simple attraction. Strengths are highlighted and so are faults. But you love those faults. You accept them because they're a part of the person you love. And let me tell you, no one understood me like Jake, cooked as well as Jake, treated me as adoringly as Jake, interested me like Jake, warmed me like Jake or loved me like Jake. The heart is a curious thing." I shrug, opening my book where we left off, giving the teacher a minute before getting here.

"Are you telling me that what I feel for Ms. Invisible is fake?" Romeo doesn't sound angry, but he does sound hurt.

"Never. I know what you feel for her is very real and very sweet." I tell him honestly, truly meaning every word. "I just think that love isn't blind. Infatuation is. You could grow to love her, if you meet her again. But don't close your mind to finding love elsewhere just because you were too fixated on a woman whose name you don't even know."

Romeo frowns, opening his textbook too.

I bite my lip, hoping I didn't say too much.

I really don't think it's healthy for him to hang onto a woman that could turn out to be the devil herself.

Biology class passes in painful silence.

Today is a Tuesday, so I have to go to the bookstore. Being there, Romeo comes in an hour before my shift is over.

"I've been thinking about what you said." Is the first thing he says. I keep ringing up the sixty-year-old man, pretending I don't know what _50 Shades of Gray_ is about. The nerve.

"About what? If it's about the food thing during lunch, I'm glad you finally gave it some thought to buying a tortilla and slathering it with melted butter, lemon and salt. If the tortilla is freshly made, even better. Oh, and don't do it with the wheat ones either, it has to be corn."

Romeo's face tells me he is not amused.

"Dully noted." I bob my head, as if I thought my advice was being appreciated. I mean, it's great advice, but probably not the one he wants. "But it's not about that. It's about Ms. Invisible."

I wait, sitting back on my stool. It's a bit more crowded today, but it's no Books-A-Million.

"What about her? You found her?"

He shakes his head slowly.

"Not her, but one of her friends. Her uniform is of our high school. I'm planning on searching for her tomorrow." Oh, well. "But it's not about that."

How odd, I thought he would've been ecstatic with these news. Our first lead.

I furrow my brow.

"You're right. I can't dismiss the possibility that this love is all in my head. I should try going out a bit. Meet some girls."

I don't like where this is going.

"Good... So what's the problem?"

It's obvious he has one.

He proceeds with caution.

"You've been working hard these few months getting me acquainted with the class and making friends of enemies. I've improved, but nobody approaches me easily because they think I'm scary." Who blames them? Sometimes, I think so too. "So I've hatched a plan."

I'm waiting, Romeo.

"I want you to go with me to Sadie Hawkins."

Hold it. It's like that moment where the vinyl screeches and the party's music stops abruptly.

Is he fucking with me?

"No." I reply smoothly, despite the turmoil that is my head. I don't get his plan. I really don't. And I _hate_ dances.

"Come on, Swan, hear me out. I take you to the dance. Guys think I'm the luckiest bastard in the grade. Girls realize I'm approachable and that, furthermore, Edward likes me enough to let me go with you. Everyone realizes you don't hold a grudge about the start. Besides that, I don't have to accept some random girl's invite and you get to go with a friend. Piece of cake, right?"

Romeo's eyes are all round and pleading, making me feel like I killed Bambi's mother.

"The plan is great, except for one tiny little problem. I don't go to dances. Never have and never will. End of story."

"But everyone is going. Jazz with Ali, Emmett with Rose, Edward with the current most popular girl in the grade, Ben with his newly-acquired girlfriend Angela and Jamie with the second most popular girl in the grade. Don't you want to go too?" His puppy eyes are killing me.

"No, I don't. Give me one good reason for going with you. One that benefits me."

"I'll spike the punch."

"I don't drink, dumbass."

"You'll wear a dress."

"That's what I'm worried about."

"You might meet the guy of your dreams."

"He wouldn't be caught dead in a dance like this."

"The DJ is super awesome."

"Super awesome isn't a convincing adjective."

"You'll get to rub it in Jessica's face she didn't go to the ball with Edward, and that you look better in a dress than her."

"I'm in."

Romeo snorts, probably wondering why he didn't say it from the start. I might forgive her, but I never claimed to not be childish.

Romeo sighs, leaning against the counter.

"Bella, do you miss Jake, Alec or Mike?"

The successive names make me feel a bit slutty.

Irrational but true. I only had sex with two of them, and I'd loved the two.

"What's with the melancholic mood? Jesus Romeo, if I wanted to feel so down I'd call my mother and ask her to tell me again how my father left us." I roll my eyes. I start ringing up the lady that just got here. "But yes, I do miss them. Just like you would miss a friend you haven't seen in a long time."

Romeo stays silent as I finish ringing up the lady and sending her on her way.

"Did you love Mike or Alec?"

I consider it.

"In my own way, yes. My relationship with Mike wasn't as intense as with Alec, just like my relationship with him wasn't as intense as with Jake. Love isn't like a scale, Romeo. You can't measure it. You might love your father and mother, but your love for each is different. You will never experience the same love twice. Just as you can't compare them, either."

Romeo takes it in, thinking.

"Why the sudden questions on my love life? I get it, you love sticking your nose in my private matters, but what about them?" I fiddle with the pencil lying on top of my unfinished homework.

"I just think it's great you've been able to love such different people. I think it's great you've had such happy relationships not once but three times. You're lucky."

For most people, a relationship that ends in an attempted suicide isn't truly lucky, but I see where he's going.

I really did have a great time with those three.

"I really am, Romeo. Few people find love at all." I bid goodbye to the lady, then give my full attention to Romeo. "I want to take your brother somewhere."

Romeo raises an eyebrow.

I explain.

"You told me that Max is a huge fan of cars, right? So I want to take him somewhere, if that's alright with you. Alissa is invited, of course, but you told me she doesn't share that love." I found a really cool place last week, and I remembered what Romeo had said, so I've been excited, thinking of taking them there.

Romeo frowns.

"You remember?"

I roll my eyes.

"Duh. You said Max is a fan of all sorts of cars, and that Ali loves comics, right? By the way, tell her I have a whole bunch of manga if she ever feels like it."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but why do you care?"

Now I frown, not understanding his word choice.

"Why shouldn't I? They're important to you, aren't they? I also know Jazz's sister's favorite boy band, so I always try to find her merchandise. Edward's sister is obsessed with antique trinkets, so I always find her places to go to. Emmett's big brother is a soccer fanatic, so if I find something from his team, I buy it. Ben's mother loves Indian food, so if I find a restaurant I send her the address. Jamie's dad and brother are always trying to find new beer, so if I find an odd brand, I tell Jamie. It's only logical for me to care about your siblings. You're important to me and they're important to you. Simple."

Romeo blinks.

"I had no idea you were this kind." I flush, shaking my head.

"It's the one useful thing I learnt from my father. He always told me: 'Bella, your friends are VIP. Therefore, anyone related to them is too. Treat them like so'. It just stuck." I shrug, remembering the countless times my father said it.

Romeo's eyes soften and he gives me a soft smile.

"You really loved your father, didn't you? Haven't you seen him ever since he left?"

My eyes harden.

"No, and I hope I never do. I'll treasure the memories I have of him, but no more. He's dead to me."

I have daddy issues, you could say.

"Haven't you thought maybe he had a good reason for leaving?"

What? Of course not.

"Romeo, while I appreciate your interest in my life, my father is a sensitive subject. More along the lines of taboo than sensitive. Get it?" I snap, sick of him even thinking of taking my father's side. Romeo raises his hands in the classical way of 'don't kill the messenger'.

"I'll bring Max at the end of your shift on Thursday. Sound good?"

I nod.

Romeo starts leaving.

"So, we're on for Sadie Hawkins, right?"

I groan, roll my eyes and scratch my nose with a special finger.

"Yeah, yeah. Next Friday, right? I'll let you know my dress color."

We say goodbye.

Back at Edward's house, I'm lying around in Tan's room. She's brushing my hair, claiming it needs loving every once in a while.

I wait until her hands aren't in my hair before announcing the news.

"Tan, I'm going to Sadie Hawkins with Romeo and I need help finding a dress." I rush out.

Tan's ear splitting scream makes everyone in the house barge into the room, ready to ward off a possible murderer.

"Tanya Esme Cullen, what in the world is this racket!" Uncle Carlisle is furious his game was interrupted.

Tan, amidst screeches, informs her family members of my situation.

Aunt Esme screeches just as hard.

Uncle Carlisle huffs and goes back to the TV.

Edward rages.

"What in the world is this, Bella? _Romeo_? The hell?"

Patiently, I explain Romeo's logic.

Edward calms down, though I can see he's still not pleased.

Boy, maybe I should've said that first.

"Bella, don't make plans this Friday. You, Tan and I are going shopping!" Aunt Esme squeals, Tan joins, and I groan.

Please kill me.

* * *

 **So... Thoughts? Likes? Follows? Yes please :) As you can see, I tried hurrying it up with the next posting spree, especially when I started getting more notifications of people who liked my story. So to anyone who's following this story, thanks. On another note, what didya think about the chapter? So, obviously Bella's had her share of experience before Jacob Black. And no, they're never ever getting back together. And, let me reassure you once more... this _is_ an E/B story. However, just think about it. How likely is it that the first boy you ever go out with is The One? I mean, if that's your story, that's awesome. But for instance my mom married her first boyfriend, but that didn't mean she was his first, or that she hadn't dated first. Sometimes, to know what we like, we need to find out what we _don't_ like, first. Rant, over.**

 **Leah.**


	8. Sadie Hawkins

The Friday of Sadie Hawkins, the whole school is buzzing with excitement. Some girls have already straightened or curled their hair, and a few brought their dresses to dress in their friends' houses. Me? I stroll around school, hearing the boys talk in hushed voices about what girl they want to take home.

So disgusting, and yet so real.

I find Alice in the art room during lunch. She's sketching, trying to catch the light of a rose laid down on a stool.

"Hey Ali, whatcha need me for?" I look over her shoulder at the sketch; it's beautiful, with the light hitting it perfectly.

"Jazz finished painting his work for the nation-wide contest. It's that one, covered with a fabric. You should see it. I knew Jazz wouldn't show you, but I felt like you had to see it."

The nation-wide contest? Why didn't Jazz tell me he was entering?

Of course. That kid doesn't like sharing.

I walk over to the only covered painting. Taking a deep breath, I reveal it.

I gasp. I've never seen a more beautiful painting.

The whole portrait is blurred. The background, a park, is blurred. The face is blurred, the hair is blurred, the shoulders are blurred. One thing isn't, though: brown eyes. Brown eyes filled with pain, looking right at you. Brown eyes filled with remorse and clear honesty.

Me through Jazz's eyes the day I rejected him.

I realize that the blur is from Jazz's tears. Was that all he saw? My apologetic eyes? Were my eyes so pained?

He's done a wonderful job. The picture is blurry yet clear. Enough to make the eyes stand out yet not seem odd.

"Jazz told me he confessed to you and you turned him down. He also said you told him to consider me." Ali sighs, still sketching her rose. "Thank you. I hadn't realized the improvement between us was because he'd had closure because of you."

I swallow hard.

"That day... I was so afraid he'd hate me. And when he said he loved me, all I could think about was how much it would hurt you, Ali. I didn't know what to do." I still observe the painting, enthralled. It's his best work yet.

"You've been his muse for many of his best works you know. Probably will still be for years to come, as his first love." I turn to look at her. She has a confident face that calms me. "But I promise you I won't be second best. I'll make him fall so hard for me he won't even have time to linger on how much he had loved you."

I smile, touched.

"Thank you. I really hope everything works out for you two."

Ali lowers her eyes to the rose before looking back up at me.

"You know, all those girls are wrong. What they say about you being a man-eater now that you've changed? They're totally wrong. They're just jealous you're prettier than them without any makeup on."

I laugh. This is why I like Alice. She's so bold.

"Well, thank you, I guess. I'll see you at Sadie Hawkins."

Alice blinks.

"I thought you hated dances. Who are you going with? Edward?"

I shake my head.

"Romeo. As friends." I state before she gets the wrong idea.

"Well, good luck with that. Who knows? Maybe you and I will end up belonging to the same family."

I shudder mockingly and say goodbye.

I find Romeo in the cafeteria. He's yet to speak to Ms. Invisible's friend, and he hasn't told me yet which girl it is. We hammer out our plans while doing the line. He tells me he got a blue waistcoat to match my dress, and I tell him I hate him for making me wear a dress.

More so, neither Cullen woman will let me wear flats.

It's heels.

Today is a special day, so the whole gang sits together, dates included. Most popular girl, Emily Whatever, is trying to sit as close as physically possible to Edward. Once, she even tries feeding him. My smile tells him he'll suffer about it later. Annoyance surges inside of me, too, when I see her clinging so much unto Edward. Doesn't she get she's irritating? Second most popular girl, Victoria Chase, is trying to get Jamie to stop talking to me, but bless his oblivious heart he keeps going. Victoria's not that bad, I guess, but she's sorely misguided if she thinks she can alienate James from us. Rose and Emmett are all lovey dovey, but thankfully, they keep their make out sessions to twice. Ben is surprisingly suave with his new girlfriend, Angela Weber. She's a shy little thing that's already growing on me. Jazz is sitting with Ali, both sketching the scenario. Ali is to my right and Romeo is to my left, so I take turns bothering the two of them.

The rest of the school day goes by way too quickly.

"Tan, I _told_ you I don't want to wear makeup!"

"Well, too bad for you Swan because you're wearing it whether you bloody like or not!"

"I'll wipe it off, anyways."

"Bella, if you dare wash off my beautiful masterpiece, I _will_ shove a heel up your ass."

Then she burns my ear with the curler on purpose.

I hiss.

Tan finishes her last curl. I told her I didn't want them too marked, so I have soft curls tumbling down my back. Tan grabbed two strands of hair from above my ears, pinning them back with a nice blue barrette.

I have to admit, I like how my hair looks.

Then Tan starts torturing my face. She puts on pink lip-gloss, mascara, black eyeliner and black eye shadow. She almost pokes my eyes out a few times, mostly because I feigned having seizures.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel unrecognizable. I feel beautiful, like I'm fit to wear this makeup.

Tan stops me from gazing too much, telling me to change into my shoes and dress, saying Romeo will be here in ten minutes.

Changing into my dress, I have to admit it's a beautiful one. Knee length, royal blue, empire waistline with a strapless sweetheart neckline. It clashes with my whiteness nicely. My blue death traps, though uncomfortable, are beautiful too.

But as I'm staring in the middle. Something horrible catches my attention. Five thin and symmetrical scars. Two on my left wrist, one on my right, and two more a bit closer to my elbow.

"Tan!" I wail, dashing out of the bathroom and coming to a stop in front of her. "My scars! You have to do something about them!"

She smiles serenely.

"Bella, dear, I've thought of everything. First we'll cover them with makeup, just in case. But you'll wear thick bracelets on your wrists and another one further up to cover those two on your right arm. Like armbands, but lower."

And so she does. The bracelets on my wrists are matching fancy-looking cuffs. The one further up on my arm is a proper silver bracelet, slim enough to fit snugly against my scars.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I look wonderful.

Tan is fanning herself, praising her handiwork. She keeps crying that she should be one of those people in TV that give makeovers for ugly people. I smack the back of her head; who's she calling ugly?

Edward knocks on the door, informing us that Romeo is here.

I look at Tanya, panicking, and she gives me the thumbs up.

Taking a deep breath, I open the door. Edward is waiting for me there, and as soon as he takes a closer look at me, he shifts.

"B-Belle... Y-You look..." He swallows and tries again. "Beautiful."

I flush, grinning widely.

I love it when he gives me compliments. They're few and far between, but genuine. I love that about him.

"Thanks, Tony. You look very handsome as well."

And he does. He's wearing a white long sleeve, a purple bow tie, black slacks and Converse. He combed his bronze hair back (obviously with his fingers), making him look a bit more formal, but still casual. The purple compliments his emerald green eyes, too, making him look more mature. He looks very good. Probably the best I've ever seen him. It makes me blush for unknown reasons.

"Well, let's go, Belle. It's a good thing this is a fake date, otherwise I'd have to threaten the life out of Romeo."

I roll my eyes.

Going down the stairs, I see Romeo chatting with Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme. They're laughing, but when Uncle Carlisle sees me go down, he abruptly stops and stares.

Aunt Esme starts squealing.

Romeo... Well, he looks at me.

He looks beyond hot. He's wearing black slacks, shoes and a black tie, with a blue waist coat to match my dress. His unruly hair is in his usual unruly glory, and he took out about half of his ear piercings and his eyebrow piercing, too.

"Oh my goodness, Bella, you look wonderful! Beautiful, really. I wish you'd wear makeup more often, dear, but I suppose you're naturally pretty. Come, come, I want to take a picture of you with your date. It's Riley, right? Why did you tell me his name was Romeo, darling?" Aunt Esme rushes out, herding all of us.

"You look..." Uncle Carlisle chokes, choosing instead to pull me in for a hug.

"Thanks, Uncle Carlisle. For everything." I whisper in his ears kiss his cheek and strut to Aunt Esme's side as well as I can in heels.

"Ok, first I want a picture of Bella and Riley, then of Bella and Edward, then Bella and Edward and Riley, and then I want to take a picture with the three of you. Oh, with Tanya, too, of course."

So we do what she says. We let her take her pictures, and I'm pretty sure that at one point Romeo and I blush from my aunt's gushing.

"So what's the plan, kids?" Uncle Carlisle clears his throat to catch our attention.

Edward, bless his heart, answers.

"I'm going to pick up Emily with mom's car. By the way, my parental units, I think it's time you two buy me a car." Said parental unit snorts, and I muffle a laugh behind my hand. "Romeo will drive Bella to the dance, and we'll meet with the gang there."

We say goodbye.

"I don't trust that kid with Bella." I hear Uncle Carlisle mumble to his wife.

"Why not? If it's about the dyed hair and piercings, that's the fashion these days." I hear her whisper back. She's always fighting with Uncle Carlisle for being so old fashioned, even though it's her that refuses to use nicknames.

"Not that. How trustworthy is he, if his nickname is _Romeo_? That's a disaster right there."

Romeo opens my door for me, and giggling, I tut.

"My uncle is right. You're just like your predecessor."

He rolls his eyes and shuts the door behind me.

When he gets into the driver's seat, a question pops into my head.

Backing out of the driveway, I ask.

"Hey, Romeo, what's up with this car? It's not Jazz's, and you've been complaining for months about your parents not buying you one."

Romeo's grin is boyish, stunning me. So far, I've only seen him smirk maliciously or give fake smiles. This smile is a genuine one that catches me off guard.

"I broke through to my parents. After that first detention, I haven't caused any trouble at all. They wanted to reward me, so ta-da! I received it just yesterday."

I smile.

"Well, I feel honored to be one of the first people in your super awesome car."

"You're welcome, m'lady."

For a few minutes, we're silent. Then Romeo breaks the silence.

"Does your mother know about this dance?" Romeo asks, glancing at me out the corner of his eye. I flinch, shaking my head.

"I'll tell her later. The problem is that if I tell my mother beforehand, she'll want to be here, and she can't miss work. Her financial priorities are still... Less than desirable."

Romeo nods.

"Have you talked to her recently?"

"Yeah, I call her once a week, which is more than I've talked to her in the last few months. I also swing by the house twice a week and leave her some prepared food."

Romeo comments in a low voice.

"You're a good daughter. Most would have left and never looked back after what she put you through."

I shrug, happy he thinks so.

"I love her because she's my mom. To me, it doesn't matter how awful she is, I'll always forgive her."

Silence settles over the car, but it's comfortable.

When we get to the dance, the parking lot is bursting with cars, and we barely manage to snag a spot. Inside, Jazz and Emmett are waiting for us with their respective dates. When Romeo and I greet them, the four have a goldfish moment, where all they can do is gape at me.

"Bella, you look fantastic!" Ali is the first to recover, gushing with me about my dress.

"You, too." and she does. Her pink dress really suits her.

"Bella, you look very pretty." Rose compliments, making me smile. Over the last few weeks, I've been getting more acquainted with the Sandra Dee of our group. It took a lot to break the ice that is her heart, but lately, Rose's stopped giving me dirty looks and even grins at me every once in a while.

"Thanks, Ro."

"You look very nice, Bella." Emmett agrees, giving me a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. Then he goes back to his girlfriend and wraps an arm around her waist. "Not as beautiful as Rose, but you'll do." I gasp in outrage, Rose blushes and the rest gasp with me.

"Well, you look good, too, but Romeo outshines you as well. Loser." I scoff, and the gang laughs at my outburst.

"Dresses and makeup suit you, Bella." Jazz smiles, honesty shining through his words. Our relationship has been getting increasingly back to normal. It's good, too.

"Jazz, pink is _definitely_ you color." I tease. "By the way, where's Jamie and Ben? Shouldn't they be here?"

"Jamie is picking Victoria up. Ben, I don't know about." Romeo answers, so we all nod in understanding.

"Well, should we go wait for them at one of the tables?" I propose. Everyone agrees, and so we find a table that will fit all of us.

Emmett talks with Rose, Jazz with Romeo and Ali with me.

"So, how did Jazz behave when he picked you up? I swear, if he was anything less than a gentleman, I'll trample him."

Alice blushes, probably recalling.

"He was wonderful," she gushes, eyes swirling with happiness. "He picked me up right on time, brought me flowers and even faced my father! He didn't even care my father is a cop." I smile at her, happy that the little pixie's love is going well for her.

"How are things between the two of you?" I ask, leaning forward so the man in question absolutely can't hear us. Futile, too, because Jazz is engrossed in conversation with Romeo about his new car.

"Perfect. He asked me on a date next weekend." We squeal together. "And we've been talking a few minutes every day. And during art club, we sit together. He's really paying attention to me, Bella. Thank you."

I frown.

"Thank you? I broke his heart and practically broke yours."

Is she mentally ill?

Ali shakes her head, a soft smile on her lips.

"If you hadn't done what you did, he wouldn't have gotten over you. He'd still have that 'what if?' hanging around his mind. I'm sad it hurt him, but it was for the best."

I sigh in relief.

"Thank God. All this time, I'd been wondering if I'd made the right call. At one point, I had even considered getting a boyfriend _just_ so I wouldn't have to say anything."

Ali laughs.

"By the way, how _are_ you in that department?"

I play it cool.

"Well, there's been no developments. A few guys have asked me out, but I didn't like them. However, one of my exes called yesterday. He's in town for a few days, and wants to catch up with me." I shrug. "I'm meeting with him tomorrow."

Ali gapes.

"Don't tell me... You're getting back together with Jacob Black?"

Yup, Ali knew.

And she shouted it.

The table goes quiet.

Jazz is the first one to express his anger.

"What the hell, Bella? Absolutely not!"

"Bella..." Emmett sighs, shaking his head.

Romeo is silent, eyes worried to the brim.

I roll my eyes.

"Thank you for that, Ali. Don't worry, my friends, I'm _not_ getting back together with Jake."

Ali is confused.

"Then who are you meeting with tomorrow?"

I flush. I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag.

"Guys, do you remember Alec Müller?"

Only Jazz remembers.

"That German guy that you brought once to the arcade?" I flush, nodding. "What about him?"

I bite my lip.

"I guess you guys should know that Jake isn't the only guy I've dated. I also dated Alec and another guy before him called Mike. Mike was a summer fling and I dated Alec for four months before I met Jake. Boy I'm thirsty, I think I'm going for some punch."

I stand up, but Ali and Rose pull me back down.

"Does Edward know?" Emmett asks.

"He does now." Edward's voice is behind me, right next to my ear. I shiver and slap a hand over my ear.

I turn, and beside him is Ben and Jamie with their respective dates.

They all have shocked expressions.

Edward doesn't know whether to be angry or amused. I'm worried he's angry I kept it from him, but he makes no mention of it.

"Wait, and you're going to meet up with this Alec guy?" Ali adds coal to the fire, making me want to wring her neck.

I laugh nervously.

"Funny how life turns out, right?"

Jamie is the first to recover.

"You go, girl." He says in falsetto, making all of us laugh.

The three pairs sit down.

"Interrogation time." Ben clears his throat.

I groan.

"Who were they and how did you meet them?" Ben.

"Were they hot?" Rose.

"How come you never said anything?" Edward.

"How old are they?" Jazz.

"What school do they go to?" Ali.

"Uh, what are we talking about?" Emily and Victoria.

"What kind of people were they?" Emmett.

Romeo still hasn't said a word.

"They're called Alec Müller and Mike Newton. I met Alec at the restaurant I work in and Mike while buying film for my camera. Yes, they were very hot. I never said anything because it was my business and I wasn't ready to introduce them as my boyfriends. Alec is seven years older than me and Mike ten. They don't go to school by now; Alec is a model and Mike a photographer. They were both very down to Earth people. Alec is very kind and Mike is very funny." I answer them all at once.

The silence is suffocating.

Edward starts by choking out something about me dating a model. Angela, Ali, Rose, Emily and Victoria all stare at me with wonder. Rose goes as far as to give me the thumbs up. The boys talk about the age difference, claiming them to be pedophiles.

Romeo still hasn't said a word.

"Romeo, want to dance with me?"

He blinks, like he just came out of a trance.

"Yeah,"

The table follows our example and goes to the dance floor.

"Hey, Romeo, are you ok?"

It's a slow dance, and Romeo's arms around me make me feel awkward. This is too intimate for two friends.

"Hey, Bella... I think I found her."

"Who?"

"Ms. Invisible."

I grip Romeo tighter, as tough I'm afraid he might fly away. I'm excited. Finally we can put this hunt behind us.

"Are you... Sure?"

Romeo takes a sharp breath.

"Positive."

"Show me."

He moves so I'm facing where he was before.

He leans down to whisper in my ear.

"You see that girl with the red hair and blue dress? That's her."

I peek.

I stop dancing.

"Bella? Do you know her?"

Of course.

"Of course. Of bloody course you'd fall in love with _her_. Thank you, God, for this present."

Romeo grips my arms, steadying me. I'm bordering on hysterical.

"Bella, who is she?"

I feel tears threatening to fall.

I pull him down.

"She's May Anderson. Queen Bee of our grade until she transferred this year. My dearest first girl friend. I told you about her, didn't I?"

Romeo's face dawns with understanding.

"I can't believe she would do something like that. Are you sure there wasn't some sort of misunderstanding?"

I scoff. I knew this would happen. May is an angel in Romeo's eyes. She could do no wrong. I warned him, and he ignored me.

"Pretty sure. If you want, you can ask Edward just how much I cried that day." I shake my head, resigned to my bad luck. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm not petty enough to start recounting May's various shitty deeds, and I swore to myself I'd get him together with Ms. Invisible. "Come on, Romeo, I'll introduce the two of you."

I grab his hand and start moving forward, but he pulls me back. For the first time since I met him, his eyes look scared.

"Bella, I don't know if I can do this. I'm not prepared. What if..."

I put a hand over his mouth.

"She's going to love you. You're exactly her type; tall, hot and cool. Toughen up, princess. You'll be just fine." He nods and let's me keep leading him.

When we reach May, her back is turned towards us. I let go of Romeo and tap her shoulder.

"Who..." she stops, then squints at me. She tries to place my face but it takes her a few seconds. "Oh my God, Bella Swan? As I live and breathe, you're wearing makeup!" she laughs, turning completely to hug me.

This two-faced slut.

"Yeah. A lot of things have happened since you left." I awkwardly pat her on the back.

Her smile is blinding. Fuck, I hate her.

"And who's this hiding behind you? Don't tell me you finally got yourself a boyfriend?" she teases, actually telling me with her eyes she's wondering how I managed to pull that off.

"Actually, this is just a friend. You remember Whitlock, right? Well, this is his cousin, Riley Marks."

May analyzes him.

She shakes his hand, her dainty hand swallowed by his big one.

"Haven't I seen you before?" May tries to remember. Recognition brightens her brown eyes. "That's right! At the arcade, yeah? I've seen you around there."

"Yeah. It's a pleasure to meet you." Romeo flushes. May blinks and laughs.

"Oh, you're just adorable! Come on, I want to show you off." She grabs his hand and slinks away.

I'm left alone, just like that.

I spend the rest of the night dancing with the gang and a few random classmates. I have a relatively good time, but worry won't let me fully enjoy myself. The only moment I'm truly worry-free is when I dance with Edward. We do a slow song and a fast song. In both, I feel safe and calm. Edward has that effect on me; it doesn't matter how upset I am, he can always make me feel... at home.

Who would've thought Ms. Invisible would turn out to be May, my nemesis?

How cruel you are, life.

The dance ends without much fuss. There's a buzzing going around though. Everyone is talking about how _the_ May Anderson has been hanging around Riley Marks. When the rumor reaches Jamie and Edward, they both flinch for me and try to get my mind off it. They remember my feud with May. Jazz, Ben and Emmett have an idea from what little they saw, and they know the story, but they don't know just how much I bloody hate her. Ok, so I lied when I told Romeo I didn't completely hate her. I do. With a passion.

By the end of the night, Romeo comes up to me with a tipsy May. He informs me he'll be taking her home, and when he's walking away, May turns back and sticks her tongue out at me.

That bitch!

"Come on, Bella, I'll take you home." Jazz walks up to me with an arm around Ali. She looks content, and he does too. They make a nice couple.

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

The lovebirds flush and shake their heads.

"It's fine. Where do you want me to drop you off?"

"The diner. I'm having breakfast with Alec, and besides, I want to be alone right now."

Jazz nods without giving me grief about Alec. He understands now is not the time.

Going into my apartment, I feel my legs are like lead.

 _This_ is why I don't go to dances. I've read enough romance novels and seen enough movies to know that they never end well. Someone kisses the wrong person, a girl ends up pregnant or a cruel prank is pulled. This time, it seems the joke is on me.

Why did he have to fall in love with May?

She'll hurt him without a second thought, and the thought of someone close to me being in pain puts me in pain as well. The time Jamie broke up with his cheating girlfriend, he looked so sad that I was upset for days. It's logical to hurt when those we love get hurt, too.

Crying, I get in the shower, trying to wash off today. I scrub my face extra hard to take off the makeup, and thoroughly wash my arms and neck.

I'm still crying inside the shower. As I untangle my hair, I realize I'm going to have to accept May. It won't make me happy, but there is no other way. I care for Romeo enough to be happy for him. Fleetingly, I wonder if my reaction would be the same if it was Edward who was in love with May. I'd kill him.

I put on a pair of Edward's boxers and t-shirt, my usual attire to sleep. Tucking myself in bed, I wipe my tears, hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

"Shit, I'm late." I pull on my converse as quick as I can, careful not to trip over nothing.

Skinny jeans, converse, red v-neck long sleeved shirt, scarf and leather jacket makes up my attire. The cold is really starting to set in, so I also wear fingerless knit gloves. Alec will be surprised, because he'll see me go out with lose hair (not after sex) and nice clothes (on my own free will) for the first time.

My phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer while brushing my teeth.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" It's Romeo.

I spit out my answer.

"Yeah, I can hear you." I grab my keys and wallet, stuffing them in my pockets.

"I just wanted to call and say I'm sorry for not taking you back home yesterday. It was rude of me. I hope your uncle and aunt weren't too outraged." I lock the door behind me, stomping down the stairs to the diner.

I'm happy he had enough good sense to know I'd be pissed.

"It's fine, Romeo. I didn't go back to Edward's, though, so don't worry about his parents."

I wave goodbye at Joe, who's just opening the diner.

"Also, I wanted you to be the first to know that I got May's number. We're going on a date next week."

I stumble a bit in my hurried walk. I'm meeting Alec at a fancy restaurant that he said he wanted to invite me to.

"Oh, well... That's great, Romeo. I'm glad things are looking up for you." I'm honest; I might not like May, but I _am_ happy that his love life is going well.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok..." Romeo trails off. I check my watch; I have ten minutes to get there. Thankfully, I can speed walk and make it just in time. "You sound winded."

"Yeah." I swallow, starting to make the speed walk into an almost-jog. "I'm meeting Alec for breakfast, and I overslept."

Romeo's surprise is palpable.

"What? Alec the German model? Why are you meeting up with him?"

I snort, shaking my head at myself. Of course.

"Let me guess. You were too entranced by May's beauty yesterday, and the whole time I was explaining myself to everyone, you were caught up in staring so you didn't hear a word I said."

His embarrassment makes me feel a bit better.

"Sorry, can you repeat it?"

"Alec called two days ago and told me he'd be in town for a few days. He asked me to spend them with him, and I said ok. This is me, spending time with my ex."

I can see the place. I just have to cross the street and walk half of the next block.

"Are you sure you want to do that? What if he wants more?"

I thought about it a lot yesterday.

"I guess I'm ready to give him more, if he asks."

 _"Riley! Come on, we'll lose our reservations!"_ I hear a woman's voice yell. I stifle a laugh.

 _"Hold on, mom! Give me a sec!"_ he shouts back at her. He coughs and directs himself to me again. "What were you saying?"

"Hey Romeo, pleasant as this talk has been, I have to go. Alec is waving at me and your mother is going to roast you alive. See ya." I hang up.

Striding over to Alec, who's already standing up and waiting for me, he embraces me in a tight hub when I reach him.

"Hi, Alec." I laugh, hugging him back.

"Guten Morgen, meine Liebe. Wie geht's du?" he whispers in my ear, smiling. I remember how annoyed I used to get when he spoke in German, since I didn't understand a bloody bit. With time, though, I realized he wasn't trying to get in my pants but asking me how I was. Well, he was probably doing both, honestly speaking.

"Sehr gut." I answer, and this time it's him who hugs me tighter. "Und du?"

"I see you remember the basic German, Bella. It makes me happy." He says in that deep, accented voice of his. Oh, that voice is definitely still one of my favorites.

"Well, I didn't spend hours on Google Translate for nothing, right?" We laugh and sit down in the booth in front of each other. I take off my leather jacket and scarf, setting them beside me.

We order our food.

"I see you still eat as heartily as ever." Alec smiles, all but shooting an arrow through my heart. Too handsome.

"Only because you're paying." I mumble, blushing.

"Doesn't that Jake fellow take you out to eat? You look like you haven't eaten in ages."

I grow somber.

"Well, to tell you the truth... Jake and I broke up on the last week of July." Alec, shocked, asks why. "Things got too serious and he freaked. Funny how life turns out, huh?" I take a sip of my coffee. It's karma, in a way. I was with Alec but didn't want to get too serious; I was with Jake and _he_ didn't want to get too serious.

"I'm really shocked, Bella. You were really confident things would work out between you. I feel sorry for you that you didn't get your happy ending." Alec purses his lips, scrutinizing me. "On the other hand, you look truly beautiful, Bella. A bit skinny, but you still manage to pull it off."

I blush.

"Really, Alec, I forgot how full of shit you were." We laugh at our recurring joke. Because I couldn't take a compliment at the beginning of our relationship, I always told him it was BS. But he knew I was just being shy.

"How about you, Alec? Any girlfriend?"

He shakes his head.

"Unfortunately, I haven't found the time. My agent has been filling me to the brim with gigs, and I rarely find the time anymore to sleep. Right now is my vacation."

"Ohh." I thank the waiter that puts my chocolate milkshake in front of me. I take a sip of it and continue. "So the great Alec Müller decided to grace me with his presence? What about the _other_ woman?" I mock whisper, grinning. Alec's agent, Heidi, just so happens to be his sister. When I first met Alec, he'd answer her immediately no matter where we were. Even if we were in the middle of sex he'd stop to answer. Apparently, she had threatened him that if he didn't pick up the phone on the third ring she'd assume he was dying or kidnapped. It got so ridiculous that one day I asked him if _she_ was the other woman.

"Liebe, don't be foolish. Of course _you_ are the other woman."

I don't know, it was so funny we laughed for ages.

"The other woman is on vacation, too. She finally got married to her high school sweetheart." Alec informs me, sipping at his coffee. Damn, he looks good. Button down black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, first few buttons popped and white slacks accentuated his amazing body.

I gasp.

"No way! She married Marcus and she didn't _invite_ me? She swore she would!" I complain, draining the milkshake in my despair.

"It was a shotgun wedding."

"Oh well, I guess in that case I can forget her misdemeanor." I sigh like there's nothing to be done about it.

We laugh, but Alec grows quiet.

"I can't believe that loser dumped you. He has guts, doesn't he? Only he would dump Bella Swan." He shakes his head, black hair flopping cutely. He raises those blue eyes that can drag anything out of me and meets my eyes. "Now tell me the truth, Bella. How have you been?"

I lick my lips.

"I've been better. There's much to tell you, Alec, so you better be ready to hear me out." he nods, leans forward, and gazes at me with patient eyes.

So I begin.

I tell him all those things I hadn't when we were together. He'd known I had a rough family life, but he didn't know my father left, my mother became an alcoholic and that I worked so many jobs.

"Wait, Bella, why didn't you tell me you were having financial trouble? I would've helped you. Had I known things were so bad, I would've insisted more on paying everything myself and leaving you my gifts."

I shake my head profusely.

"No way in hell, Alexander. My troubles were my own and you had nothing to do with them. Besides, I didn't want you thinking I was only with you for the money. I knew you would've helped, but that debt would've lingered over my head forever. I would've stayed with you out of guilt, and I'm glad I had the freedom to end things or keep going without anything holding me back. Same with your gifts. I liked them, but I liked you more. With you gone, I didn't like them anymore."

Alec smiles gratefully. I know he appreciates being loved for who he is and not his money, so I will always try to make him feel confident that my love is for him and not his status, even as a friend.

He was impressed when I told him of my emancipation. I even made myself tell him of the suicide attempt, and showed him the scars that went along with it.

Food already set, we kept talking.

"You... Are amazing, Bella. Seriously, you impress me with how much you can do. Your inner and outer strength are otherworldly."

I flush.

"You're not too bad yourself. Getting a degree in Ancient History while juggling with a modeling career is no joke. Aren't you tired?"

He smiles softly, looking at his food, and shakes his head.

"You know I want to be a teacher, right?" I nod; we'd spoken of our dreams before. "Well, when I think of sharing my knowledge with kids... I get excited, and I don't care anymore how tiring this whole shebang is."

I smile at him.

"I think it's wonderful, Alec. I hope you manage to become the amazing teacher I know you can be." I chew slowly on some bacon. "However, I'm jealous of those schoolgirls. If only I'd had a teacher half as hot as you, I would've paid more attention in class." We laugh.

At one point during our meal, Alec trains his eyes behind me. He has a pensive face, then confused, and then more perplexed.

It's Romeo that came to a stop in front of our table.

I raise my eyebrows and stand up, Alec following my example.

"Romeo! What are you doing here?"

He's about to start explaining when Alec clears his throat.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Alec, this is Riley Marks, Jazz's cousin. You remember him, right? You met him once when I took you to the arcade." Alec nods. "Romeo, this is Alexander Müller. I told you I was meeting with him today."

Romeo and Alec shake hands.

"Are you the model?"

" _Marks_!" I hiss. Alec laughs it off, despite Romeo's rude tone.

"I am. Bella, you never mentioned this kid. Is he new?" smart idea; redirect the conversation towards me.

"Yeah, he transferred this year. Insulted me on the first day of school." I tut. "But we're past that."

"And Edward lets him hang around you?" Alec raises his eyebrows. He's never met Edward, but he heard enough about him from me to know how overprotective he gets.

"Believe it or not." I nod. "Anyways, Romeo, why are you here? I don't see your family."

Romeo points across the street.

"I'm in _that_ restaurant. It's just that I saw you through the window and decided to come say hi."

"That's a fancy restaurant. Special occasion?" I tease, making him flicker his eyes.

"Yeah, mom's birthday."

"Well, tell her happy birthday for us." Alec says, and Romeo gives an almost imperceptible jump, as though he'd forgotten Alec existed.

"Thanks, I will. I better get going, though. Didn't want to interrupt."

He shakes Alec's hand and gives me a hug, then walks out of the restaurant.

Alec and I sit down again.

"So, Romeo?" Alec raises an eyebrow, digging into what's left of his breakfast.

I've already finished mine long ago.

"He has the stupidest middle name: Paris. He claims to be named after Paris of Troy, but I know it's from Romeo and Juliet. You know I couldn't have let that slide." I take a swig of water.

"You know that's not what I'm asking, Bella." Alec raises an eyebrow. "How come you never mentioned him?"

"He's new. He just transferred into our school this semester." I shrug, moving around my fork. "He has a rough personality. More often than not, he's too bold for his own good. But he's a good guy, just like Jazz."

"It looked like you wanted him gone as soon as possible. Is something wrong?"

I laugh.

"My God, Alec, I'd forgotten just how perceptive you were." I drink more water before explaining. "Romeo wants to date May, my first girl friend. I told you about her, didn't I? The girl that insulted me?"

Alec nods in understanding.

"I see. You're hurt he wants to date someone who hurt you."

I nod.

"More than that, I know _she's_ going to hurt _him_. May has been in love with Edward since she met him. It took me a while to understand she befriended me to get closer to Edward and unfriended me when she thought I was a threat. I don't want someone with such a destructive personality near my friends."

Alec finishes the last bite of his breakfast.

"Are you in love with this Romeo?"

I'm slightly startled by the question, but my answer is the same as the one I gave Jazz.

"No, I'm not. But he is a very important friend. He understands me, and he's a good listener. What about you, Alec? Is there any girl you have a crush on right now?"

Alec blushes, something I never saw him do.

"Yeah. Her name is Siobhan, and I met her in one of my classes. She's... something else entirely."

I smile widely.

"Does she know?"

He shakes his head profusely.

"God, no. She has expressed a lot of hate for me. She says models are stupid and sell their bodies for money."

I blink, confused.

"Then why do you like her?"

He smiles.

"She has the kindest smile I have ever seen. She's feisty when provoked but calm and cheerful when left alone. Her persona is... like fire, you could say. She's one of those people you're just drawn to, you know? Her angry front is more cute than anything else."

My smile softens along with my eyes.

I thought he would like her for superficial reasons, but I should've trusted Alec more.

"In a way, she reminds me of you, Bella. Headstrong, funny, independent and truthful to herself at all times. Beautiful, smart and sympathetic... just like you."

I reach across the table and hold Alec's hand.

He grips mine back.

"I never got to say this, Alec, so hear me out. I know you left without ill will towards me or Jake. And I know you didn't blame me for not wanting more seriousness or..." I trail off, then clear my throat. I grasp his hand tighter. "But I feel I never apologized quite how I should've. I never got to tell you how sorry I was that I couldn't give you more. Or how happy you made me during the months we were together. I didn't apologize, either, for letting my feelings stray from you. I want you to know that, to me, you were a great man, an amazing boyfriend and a good person inside and out. But you weren't meant to be with me. You deserve someone better. Someone like Siobhan. I can't tell you I regret leaving you, though. I enjoyed my time with Jake, despite the heartbreak it brought me. I would do it all over again. I regret hurting you, though, and I hope you can forgive me for that."

I look at his hand instead of at his face.

Looking into his eyes feels embarrassing, somehow.

Alec sighs.

"Bella, you've changed." My eyes snap up to meet his. He's smiling; his eyes are sad and yet happy at the same time. Maybe not happy, but satisfied. "You've opened up a lot. Today, you've told me so much about yourself I didn't know. I'm glad you decided to tell me more about your life. And I really do hope you understand... You deserved me as much as I deserved you. But you're right. We weren't meant to be together. It does give me some relief, though, to know in your eyes I was good enough. Just not right." Alec smiles. "Thank you for telling me this."

I smile back.

"Well, enough with this nostalgia. What do you want to do now? I have to get to work in a few hours, though, so nothing too crazy."

We (Alec) pay the bill, and holding hands, just like habit, we make our way to the park.

There are stands around the fountain, just like every Saturday and Sunday morning. We joke around, trying on goofy stuff and buying each other a little trinket. He gets me a relatively cheap bracelet (I don't feel bad accepting it because he's not my boyfriend anymore _and_ he gave me his damned puppy dog eyes, claiming the price to be reasonable) with a camera as a pendant. I give him a keychain of dice, hoping it will bring him luck with Siobhan. I see him hang it off his keys, and in return, I allow him to put the bracelet on for me.

"You still don't wear any necklace but that one?" Alec gestures to my neck with his free hand; the other one is firmly in my grasp. He's definitely the most affectionate boyfriend I've had in terms of PDA, which I prejudicially thought at the start was odd for a German. He's big on hand holding, hugging and kissing. Walking with him, it had become a habit to swing our locked hands while we walked.

Like now. Neither of us care much that he has a crush or that we're broken up.

"Yup. Someone always tries to buy me a necklace, but even if I accept it, I never use it." I finger the teardrop-shaped silver, feeling the coolness beneath my touch.

Alec tugs my hand to bring me back to Earth.

"That necklace only serves to hurt you, Bella. I really wish you would let it go."

"I know, Alec. Me too."

* * *

 **So, how'd you like Alec? Personally, I sort of wish he'd pined for Bella. :P And did you see it coming, the whole Romeo-May fiasco? Cause I sure did. Well, originally I hadn't actually planned it out that way. May was just sort of... there. But then I was like, 'What if?' So I did it. I've never been to a high school dance, because where I come from there's no such thing as Sadie Hawkins, prom or Homecoming, but I've drawn inspiration from other FFN, movies, and Twitter pics. Again, leave me some love. :)**

 **Leah.**


	9. Introducing

Monday arrives faster than expected.

Saturday night Alec spends it at my place. I guess for both of us, it's a matter of closure. When he leaves, we'll go back to our loveless lives, and this is the relief from that we both need. I'm not going to deny it, though; Alec always _was_ the better lover, even if Jake didn't lack skill _at all_. It's been a few months since my last time, so the release that comes from having sex with Alec makes me feel like a weight was just lifted off my chest. Apparently, sexual frustration is a heavy thing.

On Sunday, I took him with me for breakfast at the Cullens.

Even though I told them that this was my ex-boyfriend, everyone but Edward was skeptical. Tanya spent the whole time making goo goo eyes at him and Aunt Esme was no different. Uncle Carlisle questioned him and Edward squinted, probably trying to figure out if there's something wrong with him that he dated me. I'm annoyed at Edward for being so disbelieving; there's nothing wrong with me. In the traditional sense. I think. Well, I'm _functional_.

During my part time, Alec visits me at the restaurant where we met. It brings us back some fond memories, ones we reminisce as old friends would.

Now, Alec is offering to pick me up for school. I asked Edward if he wanted a ride, too, but he declined, stating the atmosphere would be weird. I'm happy to have alone time with Alec, but also sad that I won't walk to school with Edward this week. I enjoy my time with him, seeing as it's shrunk with the years.

"Guten Morgen, Alec." I beam at him when I get into the passenger seat.

He smiles and leans over, kissing my cheek.

"Guten Morgen, meine Liebe."

We make small talk as we head towards school.

When we get there, everyone around the school gates is gaping at the sleek black Aston Martin. I blush, thankful for the dark tinted windows.

"Do you want me to come pick you up?"

I smile.

"Is that ok with you? I have to go to my part time job."

"Sehr gut. I'll come pick you up. Have a good day." He gives me a peck on the lips, I get off, and the he's gone.

Going in, I find the gang staring at me with open mouths.

"Close your traps or you'll catch flies, losers."

Emmett points at the leaving car.

"That's an Aston Martin."

"An Aston Martin DBS V12." Jamie and Romeo elaborate.

"From the James Bond movies _Casino Royale_ and _Quantum of Solace_." Ben, too geeky to normally care about cars, gawks.

"In _black_." Edward, who is surprisingly already here, says. His eyes are wide and misty.

"And it belongs to your _model boyfriend_?" Rose breathes out, staring at the road as though the scent of Alec might linger there.

"Oh, that? It's just a rental." Everyone blinks, and I try not to smirk when I keep talking. "Alec is a big aficionado of James Bond, so back home he owns an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish from _Die Another Day_ and an Aston Martin DB5 appearing in, correct me if I'm wrong, _Skyfall_ , _Casino Royale_ -"

" _Tomorrow Never Dies_ -" Jazz interrupts, and is interrupted by Emmett.

" _GoldenEye_ , _Thunderball_ -"

"And _Goldfinger_." Ben breathes out, eyes shining. Letting go of Angela's hand, the poor girl doesn't know what to do when her boyfriend approaches me. "Does he have photos? Something, anything? Does he live nearby?"

I laugh.

"Alec used to live around the area, but he moved two hours away from here. Since he splits his time between the States and Germany, I have no idea where he keeps his cars." I remember him saying he's going to college more often now instead of taking the online classes. "Maybe he brought a car over."

"Can you ask?" Emmett approaches me as well. Emmett is gripping my left arm and Ben my right.

"What, are you planning on going on a road trip just to see his car?"

They both nod very seriously.

It's funny; I'd never seen either of them so excited about anything other than their hobbies.

"I'll see what I can do." Emmett and Ben high five. "But I make no promises. Besides, Alec doesn't even know you. I can't ask him to accept strangers in his house."

"Then let's meet him!" Jamie proposes.

"He's cool. On Sunday, Belle brought him over for breakfast and he seems nice enough." Edward offers, all but spurring the flame.

"What, you brought him to meet the family?" Rose gushes, coming up behind Emmett, who's still gripping my arm. She warms up to me gradually, having reassured herself to the fact that I pose absolutely no threat to her and Emmett.

"Wait. I saw you with him Saturday morning." Romeo frowns, doing the math in his head. "If you brought him over for breakfast..."

"Did you sleep with him?" Jazz rasps out. He doesn't look so much heartbroken as shocked, so I figure it has more to do with finding out I'm not all that virtuous.

I flush and try to deny it.

"Ugh, Belle, I liked him and now _this_." Edward looks at me with mock disgust.

"Y-You-" I stutter, pointing at Edward accusingly.

"Emmett and I don't care so long as he shows us his cars. If not, we'll beat him up for making you less than innocent." Ben puts in his two cents, eyes wide and honest.

"How was it?" Rose squeals; surprisingly, Angela looks interested too, and I know Ali would be too if she was here.

"What, you were a virgin?" Jamie, the ass, asks. I glare at him when he gives everyone the bright idea.

"Come to think of it, who was your first?" Edward, subtle and understanding as ever, interrogates. He looks honestly disturbed by the question, as though everything he ever believed in was a lie. He's such a hypocrite; only God knows how many women he's slept with.

"You've dated Mike, Alec and Jake." Jamie counts.

"So the question is, who was it?" Jazz finishes, scrutinizing me.

The bell rings.

I sigh in relief.

"Would you look at that? The bell rang! How sad, I guess I'll have to keep my sex life _private_."

I dash out of there.

In Math class, Romeo sits next to me.

Nowadays, it's usual for me to sit either with Jazz or Romeo. I still refuse to sit next to Edward, though, based on the grounds that he copies off of me and gets me in trouble. If neither I nor Edward sit next to Jazz, Ali gets the privilege, seeing as she goes in this class as well.

"Romeo, thank you for divulging my whereabouts on Saturday and starting a totally uncomfortable discussion." I give him a fake smile, my eyes clearly saying I want to gut him.

He looks at me out the corner of his eye.

"Come to think of it, who _was_ your first? You never said."

I flush but answer him despite what my pride tells me. I don't know why I always answer Romeo, even though half the time he doesn't deserve an answer. He's too curious, always asking me about things I'd rather not tell. Sometimes he asks just to mortify me, like now, and other times out of boredom. Most of the time, he doesn't even show he's acknowledged my response, real or fake.

Why do I keep answering this rude, rough, curious, blunt, serious, obnoxious newcomer's questions? Why do I even like him as a person, if I can count the amount of times he's smiled without sarcasm in one hand?

 _He understands you better than anyone else with the exception of Edward,_ my stupid subconscious tells me. _You'll appreciate his point of view one day, when you have a question you can't ask Edward._

 _Shut up. I can talk to Edward about_ anything _, subconscious._

 _One day..._

 _Shut. Up._

What my subconscious is telling is much too frightening to contemplate.

"First what? Friend? Boyfriend? Be more specific, Romeo." I reply nonchalantly, opening my notebook. I can practically feel him rolling his eyes. I won't make this easy for him. Besides, when I was with Mike, we weren't exactly _innocent_.

"The first you had sex with."

"Define sex."

"Stop messing with me."

"There's four bases to sex, which one are you asking about?" I try to ward off the evil smirk crawling out, but can't hold it in when I see his horrified face from the corner of my eye.

"Wait, you're telling me..."

I turn around to face Romeo. Mr. Banner is laying out his things on his desk, so we have a few minutes.

"Romeo, first, I can't believe you're asking me who I've had sex with. Second, why do you even care? And third, judging from your reaction regarding my lack of innocence, are _you_ a virgin?"

The unthinkable happens.

He averts his gaze and flushes, the second time I've seen him do it.

My mouth drops.

I start poking his arm.

"Don't tell me... _You're_ a virgin? _The_ Romeo is a virgin? My God, I think the sky is falling." I snort. "No way."

"Shut up, Bella. I just hadn't found the right girl to do it with."

I smile.

"Somehow, Romeo, you sound like a romantic. Nowadays, few people care about their first time that much, me included." I decide to answer his question. "I had my first time with Alec. I almost did it with Mike, but I wasn't ready. Mike saw and decided he wouldn't take my virginity, when we both knew he was not going to be around for more than a couple months."

He looks at me, face still red.

"But why Alec? How did you know he was supposed to be your first?"

I shrug.

"At the time, I thought he was _the one_. He's kind and always takes my feelings into account. I thought, why not? Let's get it over with." I scratch my nose. "I didn't want the room filled with rose petals. I didn't want the 'magical' night. I just wanted the guy that I felt it was right to do it with."

Romeo seems to think about something.

"I thought all girls want a perfect first time."

"They're living a fantasy. The reality is that the when and where don't matter much, so long as you're ready and the person you're going to do it with makes you feel loved. For me, that's the perfect first time. Caring more about the person than the act itself. It's not something to be done with someone random just to get it over with."

"Huh."

When school lets out, Alec is waiting for me at the gates. I can see the car, but when I'm making my way over there, the gang pounces on me.

"Tell him to come over." Emmett.

"I really want to meet him." Ali and Rose say in different phrases.

"Is he cooler than me?" Edward.

"I want to see the man behind the cars." Ben bites his lip, expectant.

"Bring him." Jazz and Jamie conclude with stern faces.

I sigh. There's no getting out of it.

"Fine, but if you say one rude thing to him then I have the privilege to divulge one embarrassing thing to your girlfriends or/and future wives. Things that will _never_ leave their minds. We have a deal?"

The boys glance between them, weighing their chances.

"Let's do this." Jamie speaks up for the gang.

I walk over to the Aston Martin and knock on Alec's window. He lowers it and cranes his neck far enough to give me a peck.

"What's up?" he grins when he sees my sullen face.

"My friends want to meet you. Don't let them fool you, it's not because you're important to me. The boys want to talk about your cars and the girls want to gauge your hotness. That ok?"

"I knew this day would come." Alec sighs mockingly. He nods, winking at me. "Give me a sec and I'll park inside. Otherwise, my super cool rental will get towed."

I back away and follow the car as he parks it in school.

Already, the gang is around like leeches. They're on the side of the passenger seat, probably trying to gauge his hotness.

When he gets out of the car, even I have to admit his looks could make any knees buckle.

What the girls see?

A twenty-four year old lean man standing at 6 ft 3, wearing Ray Bans and a leather jacket. He's wearing jeans, combat boots and a white v-neck, giving him a very cool look. His black hair is longish at the top, hair gel making it stand up in a cool way. Flat, slightly thick but nicely shaped dark eyebrows make his blue eyes stand out, which Alec allows them to appreciate when he takes off his glasses. His nose is long and straight, with soft, sensuous lips, giving his long face an air of allure. My ex is hot, hot, hot.

Seriously, and with his shirt off? _Hot damn_.

Rose, Alice and Angela are speechless.

I think the boys just got their ego hit big time.

"Guten Abend." He greets, snapping the girls out of their stupor. The boys are at a loss, not knowing how to feel.

The girls try to shake his hand all at once, Angela included, and ask him questions about being a model. Angela even says she saw him once in a magazine for some Ralph Lauren ad, and he smiles, saying he _has_ posed for Ralph Lauren.

Edward is the first to approach.

Eyeing Alec, he crosses his arms across his chest.

"I refuse to believe there's nothing wrong with you." I slap him on the back of the head, glaring. It sort of hurts, that he'd say that. It's irrational, though; I'm used to him rigging on me like this, and he doing the same to me. "What? I still don't understand how he dated you before. It's understandable if he liked you now, cause you look hot, Belle, but... Seriously? What was so good about her?"

"Thanks, Tony."

"Glad to see you're still your charming self between yesterday and today, Edward." Alec shakes Edward's hand. From their grip, I can tell Edward is trying to all but break Alec's hand.

"Yesterday it was my mother's interrogation. Today, you will be submitted to this group's questions, consisting of everything I couldn't ask yesterday. Ok?"

Alec nods slowly.

Ben and Emmett dash forward with Jamie in tow.

"I'm Benjamin Cheney-"

"Emmett McCarty-"

"And I'm James Hunter-"

"Tell us, do you really own an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish and an Aston Martin DB5 from the _James Bond_ films?" Ben finishes, ecstatic to meet the man behind the vehicle. For so much excitement, you'd think they were meeting the actual James Bond.

Alec's eyes brighten up.

"Oh, Bella told you? Yeah, I do own them. They're my babies." He boasts, obviously glad someone speaks his geek language.

Jazz comes up.

"Hi, I don't know if you remember me. Jasper Whitlock." Jazz shakes Alec's hand.

"The painter, _ja_?" Alec lets go, grinning. Of course his memory isn't that good, but I refreshed his memory when I told him about Jazz's confession.

"Right." Jazz is skeptical of the word _ja_ , so I murmur to him it means yes and if he's stupid because it sounds so much like yeah it's ridiculous. Jazz glares at me.

"Oh, and you met Riley on Saturday, right?" Jazz asks, motioning to his cousin that's lingering in the back.

"Right, right. Did your mother have a nice birthday?"

"She did."

The conversation ends there.

Gee, Romeo, thanks for the super spirited conversation.

Before an awkward silence can fill the air, Ben jumps on the chance to speak.

"Hey, do you have your cars here or in Germany?"

"I keep my cars in my house in Bavaria. They're safer there and I can normally use the Vanquish's full speed in the outskirts."

Emmett, Edward, Ben and Jamie are visibly disappointed. I think Jamie whimpers a little.

So I elbow Alec lightly, and he grins.

"I _do_ however have in my possession, two hours away, a Jaguar XJ (X351) from _Skyfall_. It's not as great as the DB5, but still. It's been in a James Bond movie, so I can't complain."

" _Cool_." The Three Idiots (Emmett, Ben and Jamie) breathe out. Edward gives Alec a look that says he approves, Jazz seems slightly amused and Romeo is scrutinizing Alec's every move.

The girls are too busy admiring his looks.

"Alec, they want to know if you have pictures of your cars." I try hiding a smile, knowing the answer already.

"Of course. How else would I brag about them?" He grins, making all of us except Romeo laugh. Seriously, what's his problem? I know he isn't all that into smiling or laughing, but he should at least get that scowl off his face.

A few minutes of admiration later, I tug on Alec's sleeve.

"Alec, I don't want to disturb your male bonding time, but... I sort of have to get to my job. And all of you-" I raise an eyebrow at the bunch "-have shit to do, right?"

The gang scatters, and Alec leads me by the waist to his car.

"Yo, Bella!" Jazz calls over his shoulder just as I'm getting in. I turn, and find him pointing at Alec. "I approve!"

Laughing, I tell him to shut up. I get in the car, so does Alec, and we're off.

"You never told me your friends were so cool." Alec comments, stepping on the gas. I'm running a bit late, but not by much. Still, he likes using any chance he gets to go faster.

"What did you expect? They hang with _me_ , right?"

"Right." He holds my hand over the console. "I just vaguely recall meeting them at the arcade. Since we just dropped by before our date, I didn't have the time to socialize with them. I only remember Jazz being a total asshole to me."

I laugh.

"I know! But at least, now we know why. I never would've guessed Jazz was jealous."

"I had. But you seemed so oblivious, I decided to shut up."

My mouth drops.

"Don't tell me you knew, too? God, am I so blind?"

We both answer at the same time.

"Yes."

We laugh, then grow silent.

"You know, I wish I'd had the guts to introduce you to them when we were together. You would've really liked spending time with them."

Alec smiles.

"I would have. They, despite their rude gawking, are really cool people to hang with."

I squeeze his hand, sighing.

"I really wish everything works out for you and Siobhan. You deserve to be really happy, Alec." I say honestly. "But don't you dare stop hanging out with me. If she tells you not to see me anymore just because I'm your ex, I'll punch her."

He snorts.

"Please, Bella, you will always be one of my closest friends. But if you get another boyfriend, then you can't stop seeing me, either."

I give him a half smile.

"Of course. Let me find someone I like first, though. Then I'll warn him."

"We're quite the pair, aren't we?"

Later that night, around a quarter past ten, Romeo comes into the diner. I'm waitressing for Joe, part of our agreement for letting me live here. I work Sunday through Thursday for two or three hours, when I'm done with my other jobs and homework. Joe is lenient like that. Today, is one of the worst days, because right after school I give a tutoring session followed by going to the bookstore, meaning I get home at eight. Because I have no homework, I agreed to work until closing hours, which is ten thirty. And because I won't be tired enough, Alec is staying the night, too.

One activity I won't be angry about doing.

I'm such a sex addict when it comes to Alec it's not even funny.

I really hate Siobhan, because thanks to her I'm going to lose a great lover in many ways.

Bitter at seventeen. _Wonderful_.

Anyways, when Romeo comes in, I smack the back of his head on my way to deliver some French fries. You wouldn't believe how busy a diner can be this late at night.

"What the fuck, Bella?" he complains, rubbing the back of his head as he follows me.

I deliver the order, smile and walk back to the counter.

"I'll tell you what the fuck. You were a total douche to Alec, and I don't appreciate you treating him like that."

"He was bragging about having _three_ James Bond cars!"

"Boo hoo, how sad. He has more money and more toys than you do. Get over it, he's older and has a well-paying job. He can indulge however he likes. Furthermore, you bunch practically begged me to bring him over so he could brag of his cars. What did you expect?"

"A little humbleness."

I scoff.

"Sorry, but if you knew the extent of Alec's bank account _and_ trust fund, you'd know he was being more humble than a nun."

I take a table's order and take it over to the kitchen.

"Is he that rich?"

"Rich isn't enough to describe him. I've seen pictures of his house near Füssen in Bavaria, and let me tell you, it could rival a castle. And that's not counting his house in Munich _or_ here." I grab a plate that just came out, and Romeo follows me.

"He's the sole heir of a multibillionaire, and at the same time, the only grandson of _another_ multibillionaire. His grandfather is dead, and he left Alec everything he owned. Alec didn't want to manage the company, so someone else does with Alec just checking up from time to time, but he's still the owner and heir to anything his grandfather made. Apart of that, his father gives him a ridiculous allowance just because, apart of being ready to leave all of his possessions to his only son when he dies. Owning two billions-worth companies plus being a well-known model gives us a big fat number. So yes, he's _that_ rich."

I place the orders on the respective tables, enjoying Romeo's stunned silence.

"And _you_ broke up with _him_?"

I get annoyed.

"I didn't give one shit about his money, nor do I care now. If he'd suspected I held an inkling of interest for his money, he would've broken up with me in two seconds flat. As it is, he knows I care more about him than how much he can give me in jewels or clothes. End of story. Now why are you here, Romeo?"

I take back the dirty dishes to the kitchen, Romeo still in tow.

"Wait, so you never asked him to buy you stuff? He never spent a ridiculous amount of money on you?"

I snort.

"Of course he did, and I made him take everything back. The only time I've made him spend a ridiculous amount was on food. We spent a full day just eating: pizza, ice cream, cookies, pretzels, KFC... we ate so much and spent so much you would've thought he bought me an engagement ring." I smile, remembering that day. We were so fat and happy.

Then we puked our guts out, but it was fun.

"You really don't care about material stuff, do you?"

I shrug.

"I don't want anything I didn't earn myself. I only accept gifts on birthdays, within reason, or when I can give something in return. Now, again I ask, Romeo, what are you doing here? I doubt you came here this late at night to tell me Alec was bragging."

Romeo is silent as he follows me around.

"Well, I need your help with something."

"I assumed that much. What's up?"

"I have no idea where to take May."

I grow annoyed at the mention of her.

"Why are you asking _me_?"

"I need a girl's opinion. And I'm not close enough to Ali, Rose or Angela to ask them." He continues, as if anticipating my argument.

"Why not ask the boys, then? They've all gone on their fair share of dates."

"They'll just tell me to do something generic. I'd like a more creative opinion."

I sigh, picking up another plate.

"Romeo... you know I'd love to help you, but-"

"-You hate May despite everything you said, right?" he finishes for me, giving me a knowing look. I want to punch him.

"Oh good, so you _do_ know. Then would you explain to me the cruelty of your actions? You're asking me to think of the perfect date for you and the only girl I've truly hated. Why?" I snap, annoyed at how perceptive he is. I didn't want him to know that. I thought I could pretend a little longer that I only half-hate her.

A malicious side in me is goading me on, saying that I should tell Romeo about May being eternally in love with Edward.

My conscience, though, says otherwise.

Something about losing him as a friend and pissing him off or whatever.

Shit.

I'm really annoyed at him; he's being such an ass today.

"Because I trust you to look past that and give me an honest answer. You wouldn't give me an offhanded answer because I'm your friend, even if May isn't. Besides, the one that will be dating her is _me_ , not you. You don't even have to talk to her."

Point taken.

I sigh, telling him to give me a moment while I take an order.

Because nobody seems to need anything, I take a moment and sit down on a stool in front of the counter.

I pat the stool next to me.

Romeo sits down.

"May likes to be lavished. She likes feeling like she's on top of everyone. If you take her somewhere like a museum or movies she'll be bored and say you're not cool. If you take her to the arcade, she'll say you put no thought into it. Taking her to anything extreme like paintball might make her feel annoyed because it'll leave bruises and might stain her clothes. Take her to the carnival that's coming this week, and then to a nice restaurant. Not too fancy because she'll feel inadequate since you're both going to be wearing casual clothes. That's what I think you should do."

Romeo's mouth is hanging wide open.

"How come you know so much about her? You used to be friends, but a long time has gone by."

I shrug.

"I've heard snippets of conversations with her friends once in a while. I know for a fact she doesn't like museums or anything extreme, but _does_ like carnivals and amusement parks. And I heard her complain once that her boyfriend took her to the movies for their first date, and she got bored. So..." I trail off, looking around the diner.

Nobody needs my help.

Of course, by now, almost nobody is left. We close in ten minutes, after all.

"Thanks, Bella." I avert my gaze.

"No problem."

"Hey Bella, what's the best date you've ever had?"

I'm slightly surprised by the question. Nobody's ever asked me that, but then again, Romeo does tend to ask me things no one else has.

I hum.

"Well, that's tough. Mike, Alec and Jake took me on great dates, in their own way."

"How so?"

I smile, remembering.

"Mike liked being outdoors far more than going to restaurants or the like, so we often stayed outside. The best date with him was when he took me to the cliffs; he said I absolutely _had_ to see the sunset. We both took our cameras, and we spent the whole afternoon snapping pictures of the place and each other, rarely speaking. When we were hungry, we swung by a McDonald's and ate in his car, showing each other the pictures we took. It was great."

I still remember Mike's excited face whenever he showed me a specially beautiful picture. When he showed me one of myself, his face had been soft, clearly telling me just how much he cared about me. I really had liked him, and some of his jokes still make me laugh, lame as most of them were.

"So you like outdoor dates?"

"I do, but that place was infested with mosquitos. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I got bit. I spent half the time scratching myself. It was awful." I laugh, recalling Mike's panicking face when he saw me being eaten. It was one of our first dates, so he was still treading rough water. He thought he'd fucked up. I told him his punishment would be to scratch my back, because I couldn't reach. His relief had been palpable.

"And you liked the date?" Romeo is giving me one of those looks that says I'm a freak.

"I liked Mike, which made me like the date. He was being thoughtful. He wanted to share with me what he liked." I grin again. "It was sweet."

Romeo nods slowly.

"And Alec?"

I think for a few seconds.

"I told you we spent a whole day eating, right?" Romeo nods. "That date was the best. He knew I loved eating, so he wanted me to spend a day where all I would do was have my favorite food. We spent the whole day eating and walking around town holding hands. We talked about absolutely anything we could think of; then we went back to his house and laid back watching a rented DVD." I laugh, remembering how stuffed we were. We could hardly move; we didn't even have sex because we were so full. "The next day, both of us went to the gym to try and burn off some fat. I almost died when I realized I'd made my model boyfriend eat junk food all day long."

"Wasn't he disgusted with how much you ate? Most guys claim they like a girl that can eat, but that's bullshit."

Is he insulting my eating habits?

"Why would he? I never pretended to be anyone else. From the start, he knew my appetite, and he found it hilarious. He said he liked to see me eat and enjoy it, because it's a blessing that I can eat when and however much I want, unlike many unfortunate people. It touched me, because he didn't know that I _really_ find food a blessing. Some months, I wouldn't be able to buy food at all, so I had to eat whatever I could at Edward's. Alec is a very kind man, and I'm lucky to know him."

"I didn't know you were that poor."

I shrug.

"It's not something I like to talk about. It doesn't define me. Sure, it's given me a hard time, but I won't get anything by complaining."

Nobody wants my help, even though I'm dying to get out of this conversation.

It doesn't help there's only one couple left. The rest have slowly trickled out.

Romeo nods, getting the point that for me it's a sore topic.

"How about Jake?"

I burst out laughing, already knowing which time I loved the most.

"Oh, my favorite date with Jake was the worst one _ever_. He wanted to invite me to a fancy restaurant, but his reservations got taken by someone else, so we had to eat at a burger joint. Then he wanted to invite me to the arcade, but it was closed. We went to the amusement park, but it started raining just as we were about to buy the tickets. So we went to the movies, but the scary movie we saw sucked _so_ much we left halfway through. So we went to the ice rink, but Jake didn't know I'd never skated in my life, so he left me for a second to show off his skill and I ended up falling and breaking my wrist. So we had to go to the hospital, where they took two hours in seeing me. Jake was so embarrassed he told me it was ok if I never wanted to see him again."

Romeo insists on looking at me like I'm a freak.

"What's so good about a failed date? Why did you even agree to see him again?"

I laugh, seeing Jake in my mind's eye.

"Because when I saw the big, manly geek telling me with a sad face that he understood if I never wanted to see him again, I felt like my heart had grown three times larger and five times softer. He'd done his best to give me the perfect date and had left me with a broken wrist. It was still raining, so we were dripping wet since he hadn't even brought an umbrella. But he looked so adorable that I invited him in my house to dry up, and told him I wanted to see him again."

Romeo watches me with an understanding face.

"I see. You really loved him a lot, right?" I smile, nodding. "It's the only explanation as to why anyone would stay with such a loser."

I laugh.

"Love makes fools out of us, Romeo. It's not blind, as people often like to say. I could see his faults just as clearly as he could see mine. But we loved each other enough to think that, faults and all, the other one was worth it." I level him with a stare. "Can you say the same about May?"

"Of course." He gives me a haughty look. "I love her, faults and all. She might not be the perfect girl, but I genuinely care about her. I want to know more about her. I don't _like_ what she did to you, but I know she's changed. The girl I saw at the arcade was real and friendly. I want to bring out that girl in May."

I hope you're right, Romeo.

Because if not, you'll be left with a broken heart.

I nod, understanding.

"Well, I hope she likes the date." I really do. She's not the kind of girl that thinks the person's intentions are what counts. She wants perfection.

"Thanks, Bella. Do you mind if I stay here for a while? I really don't want to deal with my brother right now. Max is having a fit about being grounded, so..."

I grimace, reluctant to give him my reasoning of why not.

The last couple leaves, giving me a smile and saying thank you. I ask them to please come again.

Then I turn to Romeo, ready to flinch. This is so embarrassing.

"Um, under normal circumstances, I'd love to invite you up, Romeo. But..." I bite my lip, flickering my eyes all over the place. "Alec is sort of on his way right now." I mumble really quickly.

"What?"

I let go of my lip and clench my eyes.

"Alec is on his way here."

Silence.

I open one eye tentatively.

Romeo's face is stoic.

"You two got back together?"

I frown.

"No, why would you think that?"

Ok, so knowing Romeo's often brusque nature, I should've seen it coming. I mean, my question was stupid, too. He thought that because obviously, Alec isn't coming here this late at night to chat.

But I still didn't expect his horrid words.

"I didn't know you were such an easy girl, Bella. Had I known, I would've told Jazz he only had to try a little harder to get together with you. Of course, Alec _does_ have the advantage of looks and money, even if you refuse to admit you're attracted to his bank account."

I can't help it.

I slap him.

Thank God Joe is busy singing along to the radio in the kitchen.

I'm so angry I can't even cry.

"How dare you?" I whisper, blood boiling. "How _dare_ you judge me like that? Riley Marks, you think you know so much about me, and yet you know nothing. If you think that's what I like about Alec, you're sorely mistaken." I take a deep, shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, Bella, that came out wrong-" he tries apologizing, looking horrified with himself.

I shake my head, shoulders shaking.

"No, you said _exactly_ what you felt. I want you gone. If you think I'm some superficial slut, then that's precisely what I am." I look at him with hard eyes. "Go, Marks. Give me some time to cool off, but until then, don't you dare breathe a word to me."

"Bella-"

" _GO_! Before I say something I'll regret."

Romeo takes one last look at me before leaving the diner.

Crying, I wipe the tables, put up the chairs and sweep the floor.

Alec is suddenly there, holding me against his chest.

Crying, I turn in his arms and hug him. I'm enraged and hurt by Romeo's assumption, and vaguely, a part of me wonders if that's what he truly sees me as. I hope not.

He pats my back, shushing me.

"I'm sorry about whatever hurt you, meine Liebe."

Eventually, I stop crying. Grabbing his hand, I shut the lights and go upstairs.

Going into the apartment, I cling unto Alec.

"Make me feel good." I plead with him.

Lifting me into bridal style, he leads us to my room.

"Your wish is my command."

* * *

 **Romeo's an asshole, isn't he? And I hope I'm not portraying Bella as a loose girl; she's not, and she really doesn't intend to get back together with Alec, hot as he is. I figure she's lonely, and she was once in a serious relationship with him, so it'd be easy to revive their relationship as a short term thing. Again, she and Alec parted on amicable terms, and he's her first. It's sorta hard to forget that, aye? Anyways, leave me some love! Don't you see how hard I'm working? ;)**

 **Leah.**


	10. Introspection and Stuff

**DISCLAIMER: IT'S SORTA OBVIOUS I'M NOT THE OWNER OF TWILIGHT.**

* * *

The next day, while we're on our way to school, Alec questions me about yesterday.

"Romeo said some rude things to me." Alec asks me to elaborate, looking worried. When I tell him, Alec is so furious he wants to break Romeo's nose. I sigh, though, and tell him not to, tempting as it is.

"Romeo is just feeling self-conscious. He's still a virgin, so I think for him it's a shock to know I'd do this with someone who isn't my boyfriend."

"So you're going to forgive him, just like that?"

"Of course not. He was a douche and I'm still too angry to even think of him. Besides, based on his earlier line of questioning, I think he's worried, too. He knows, deep down, that May cares a lot about image and money. I guess he feels inadequate when he compares himself to you. He might be worried that May will dump him for not being the most handsome, the richest, the most experienced or the coolest. I don't blame him, cause he _should_ worry. May's had a lot of boyfriends. The only exception to her rules is Edward, and he's cool enough to make her disregard all her stupid misconceptions."

Alec looks deep in thought.

"But Marks is by no means uncool or dull-looking. I daresay he's even more handsome than many of my co-workers. And his dressing style is something I've been made to wear, but I'm sure he dresses like that unconsciously."

I agree.

"I know, but he's feeling insecure. He's been crushing on May for a while now. And she's very pretty, too. I bet he thinks she could do better than his inexperienced, naïve self." I shrug. "At least that's _my_ guess."

"You seem to understand him well." I shrug, making a disregarding noise in the back of my throat.

"We've spent a lot of time together in the last few months."

Alec grabs my hand.

"Did I ever make you feel that way? You know, inadequate or insecure?"

I scoff, but throw him a smile and grab his hand tighter.

"Of course not. I knew _I_ was too good for _you_."

He grins.

"At least you knew that much."

I blush, and he barks out a laugh. He knows I'm not shy, but his compliment makes me flustered.

"But in all seriousness, I never felt that way. You made me feel like the most beautiful and best girl in the world. You never once made me feel inferior to you, and I figured: if this gorgeous, amazing guy is dating me, I'm not half bad, right?" We laugh. "And I never told you this, but I only went out with you out of pity."

He laughs hard.

"Really? Wow, that hurt my ego. Why?" He asks between laughs, so I tell him.

"Because I knew you were back so often just to see me. I thought I should at least throw you a bone. Besides, I thought to myself: I have to meet the man behind the generous tips."

He laughs.

"I _knew_ I tipped you too much."

I nod, not feeling the least bit bad about it.

"Thanks to you, I managed to buy a few books I'd been yearning. I figured I should get to know my handsome benefactor." I pinch his cheek, smiling.

"Really, Swan, you're too much."

We get to school.

"Do you want me to come pick you up?"

I smile, nodding.

"If it's not too much trouble."

"I'll manage." He winks at me.

I lean over, give him a brief kiss and lean back.

"God, I hate Siobhan. She doesn't know how lucky she is. If she doesn't agree to date you soon, I'm going to go smack some sense into her." I sigh mockingly.

"You'll miss me that much? Or just the sexual part?" He teases jokingly. I flush.

"Oh, shut up. You _know_ I'm only with you for the sex." I give a longing sigh, looking at him out the corner of my eye. "She better appreciate you. I'm being the bigger man in relinquishing you."

"Relinquishing me?"

"Of course. What did you think, that you belonged to yourself?" We laugh, then I grow silent. "I'm really gonna miss our bantering like this. Next time you come visit me, we'll have to behave like platonic friends." I pout. "But I guess that's ok, since I sort of like you as a person, too."

"Sort of?"

"You shouldn't get conceited, Alexander, you're not that nice."

He smiles, shaking his head.

"Well, we have until Friday when I go back to reality. Until then, you get to keep me around as your boy toy, ok?"

"Boy toy. I like the sound of that."

We say goodbye and I get out of the car, then watch him drive away.

We both talked about it on Saturday. We seriously considered getting back together, and analyzed the ups and downs. In the end, we went against it for three main reasons: my age, his crush and our different hopes in life.

He said that to me, seven years of difference didn't seem like much, but it was. He said I had a lot left to see of the world, and that our desires would differ more and more as time passed. He said he was already in the age where he wanted to get married and, in a few years, have kids. I told him that I wasn't ready for that, and that I planned to get married after college. By _that_ time, he'd be nearing his thirties, and he couldn't wait that much.

Then it was about his crush. Alec said he really _did_ like Siobhan, and that he saw himself having a future with her. I made sure that he wasn't with her because she reminded him of me, and he profusely denied it, even going as far as showing me a picture of her. She was pretty, but she really didn't look like me physically, and as I understood, she had for the most part a personality opposite of mine.

Then, our hopes. Alec wanted the big, happy family living in the luxury he could afford. I didn't like thinking of living in such a big house, or having a large family and so far, I don't even want kids. Our lifestyles don't see eye to eye, too, and sometimes, extremely so.

Our conclusion was we were better off as friends.

Friends with benefits until either of us got a partner, but still. Friends.

"Belle!" I see Edward rushing down the street. He stops, gasping for air. He holds my shoulders as he tries getting his breath back.

"What's up?"

"Damn... Aston Martin... got away..."

I roll my eyes.

Briefly, I consider telling Edward what Romeo said to me yesterday. Then I decide he'll blow it out of proportion and hate the guy just as they were starting to get along.

"I'm surprised you didn't sleep right through my morning call."

"You kidding me? You called my phone five times and then the house phone two times. Anyone would've woken up."

I give myself a small pep talk, then tell Edward.

"Tony, you asked who my first was. I just thought you should know that... It was Alec."

I clench my eyes shut, ready for a hurtful barrage of words.

"Huh." I crack open an eye. "Really? I was so sure it was Black." I crack open the other eye, confused.

"You... aren't going to say something about me being easy? Or that I was too young or something?" Edward frowns.

"Why would I? You aren't an easy girl by any means. If you were, you'd have an STD floating around. In any case, it's your body, so you're the one that can do whatever you want with it, so long as you don't hurt yourself. And you were in love with that Müller guy, right? I don't see how age or easiness has to do with it."

And this is why Edward Anthony Cullen is my best friend, ladies and gentlemen.

"And if I told you I'm being less than pure with him now...?"

"I'd tell you to keep the details to yourself." He answers automatically, making me snort.

"I wasn't planning on sharing."

"What brought this on?"

I consider lying to him, but I promised him I wouldn't do that anymore.

So I give him a vague answer.

"Romeo implied that yesterday." When I see his murderous face, I hurry to calm him. Through poking at Romeo. "He's just jealous, though, because I get to go home with a model and he's still a virgin."

Immediately, Edward snorts mockingly.

Being evil makes him forget his anger sometimes.

"What, _Marks_ , the guy that started school with two fresh bruises, is still a virgin?" he laughs again. "Man, that's too good."

"But don't say anything, ok? I'm telling you this in good faith so you don't go and pummel him." I stop him when he's about to make his way in the gates.

He looks at me seriously.

"Did he hurt you?"

I can't lie to him.

"He did, yesterday. But I've calmed down, and I know he knew instantly he'd fucked up. I just want to cool down today, but it's not bad enough I want you to beat him up or something. Besides, you know I could do that myself."

"True enough." He grimaces, probably feeling all over again the day he dared mention my father for a bit too long and I ended up kicking him in the balls. He pulls me in for a brief hug. "You know you can count on me to set that asshole straight, that?"

I squeeze him and let go.

"I know that."

Looping his arm with mine, we walk into the school.

 _This feels right,_ my stupid subconscious whispers.

 _Shut up. Nobody asked you._

"And you better remind him that he's got two strikes. One more and he's out."

Gulping, I salute.

When we find the gang, they're all in their own little world. Talking about something or the other, I greet all of them at the same time to avoid the awkwardness of not saying hi to Romeo at all.

Romeo hides his face, understanding what I'm doing.

Feel ashamed, asshole. Feel _very_ ashamed.

"Hey Bella, when's Alec leaving?" Rose, ever so interested in my love life (now assured I have one that doesn't involve her boyfriend), asks. I want to strangle her, but I contain myself.

"Friday night. He's looking at a two hour drive back home, and next week he leaves for Germany." She looks visibly disappointed.

"And he's not taking you to meet the parents?"

I frown.

"Why would he? We're not going out."

The confusion is palpable.

"But he spent the night at your place." Ben, ever oblivious, says.

"He drops you off at school." Jazz continues.

"And he picks you up." Emmett contributes.

"Plus, he met with Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." Jamie points out.

Romeo knows better than to contribute, and Edward already had the rundown of my discussion with Romeo.

Flushing, I give them an explanation.

"It's not that I don't love Alec or that I didn't consider going out with him again. But we're in different places in our lives right now, not to mention he has a girl he really likes back home." I shrug. "I lost my chance to be with him, so right now we're just enjoying being friends."

"With benefits." Jamie wiggles his eyebrows. I slap his shoulder.

"But what do you mean, he has a girl he likes back home? So why's he doing stuff with you?" Ali asks, making my face grow redder.

"They're not dating yet. He hasn't manned up and told her he likes her. And as for why, butt out, Alice." She laughs when she sees how flustered I am.

"So you aren't going to see his Aston Martins?" Ben asks with a sad face.

I shake my head.

"I've already seen them in pictures, though. They look as great as in the movies."

The Three Idiots have pained faces.

Edward puts an arm around my shoulders.

"I for one am proud of my best friend. It's not every girl that lets go of a rich, handsome, cool and nice boyfriend. Is she stupid? Yes, incredibly so. _But_!" He laughs when I punch his side. "She knows she's doing the right thing."

The girls look slightly disappointed.

"Will we still see him when he gets a girlfriend?" Angela asks, surprising all of us.

"Of course. He's my friend. I _have_ maintained contact with him all these months. I just hadn't had a chance to see him."

"We'll be sad to see his Aston Martin go." Jamie sniffles jokingly, breaking the tension. The bell rings, and we all part ways.

During math class, I sit with Jazz.

"Riley told me what he said to you yesterday. I figure I have to apologize for him, too."

I pat Jazz on the head.

"It's fine, Jazz. You don't have to stand up for him. Besides, I have something to tell you." I bring his ear a little closer. "I'm not that mad anymore."

"You aren't?" he pulls back, surprised.

I shake my head.

"I understand he's feeling insecure about May. Doesn't make me any less hurt, but it helps calm down my anger."

Jazz lets out a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad. Does Edward know?" I nod, making him grimace. "What did he say?"

"That he has two strikes. One more and he's out."

Jazz makes a pained face.

"Don't worry, Jazz. I'm not angry enough to kick him out of the group."

He looks like he has something to say, but in that moment Mr. Banner calls everyone to put attention, and so the class begins.

During lunch break, I don't go to the roof, life I've been doing lately. Romeo will be there, and I don't feel like talking to him yet. Instead, I buy a diet coke and bread, then climb up a hill on the back of the school, camera in hand. About twenty minutes into my snapping photos, I hear the crunch of branches behind me. I turn, expecting to find a freshman or Romeo trying to apologize.

Instead, I find Edward.

I smile and take a picture of him.

His hair has grown a lot over the last month. So much, in fact, that you can see its wavy tendency. It even covers his forehead. So he cut it in a cool style, shaving his hair an inch above his ears and down so there's hardly half an inch of hair left, leaving the top of his head's hair much longer than the rest. He always wears an open sweater under his uniform, making him look like those guys I love so much in manga.

I point to his new hairstyle, which I hadn't noticed earlier.

"You went to get a haircut yesterday and didn't tell me? That hurts." I pat the spot next to me. "It looks really good on you. It suits you." And I take another picture for good measure.

He sits down next to me.

"What's up?" he suddenly looks so serious.

"Three things." I give him the go ahead. "First: you, my friend, have been neglecting me. If you're not with Müller then you're with Marks, and if you're with neither you're working! You haven't been coming by the house as often, lately. We miss you."

I see for the first time just how much my best friend misses me. I guess with everything that's been going on, I _have_ been neglecting him. Sometimes I forget that as he is such a big part of my life, I am of his. I suppose I don't give myself enough credit to think he could miss me this much. He's used to me being there. It's normal. So not being there must make him feel something is off. It warms my heart and makes something move in my stomach.

 _Stop fluttering._

"I'm sorry, Tony. I've just been really busy lately. What with my workload increasing, Alec coming into town and... Well, life, I guess. I'll try to come by a bit more often though, ok?"

Edward nods, smiling.

"Second. I haven't asked you how you really feel about not getting together with Alec. Or how you've been emotionally."

I lean on his shoulder, happy he's asking.

"Well, emotionally, I've been really stressed lately. Nothing big, but I have to put in extra time at work so I can get a week off to study for finals. I'm so tired you wouldn't believe it." I hum, thinking. "About Alec... I guess I feel slightly disappointed? He likes a luxurious life, not to mention he's already thinking about things like marriage and children. He's a wonderful man, and I'm sad I have to let him go. But if the girl he likes is half as amazing as he says she is, he'll be fine."

"But she'll never be Bella Swan... By the way, when are you going to tell me your middle name? You know mine, and yet not even mom knows yours. I feel like I should have the privilege as your best friend to know." Edward shakes his shoulder, making a point of it. I'm in a good mood with him, so I tell him.

"If you laugh I'll make noodles out of your fingers. Ok?" I see him cross his heart, and smiling, I tell him. "It's Marie."

He stiffens.

"Don't tell me Black knew and that's why he called you Rie...?"

"Have I mentioned I loved you today?" I try in my cutest voice, but Edward still attacks me and knocks me over. We roll down hill, leaving behind my camera.

"I'm really pissed. You told your boyfriend before me?" He's holding my wrists down, lying on top of me. He's heavy, so I have trouble wheezing out the words.

"Hey, so far... only my mother, my father, and... Jake know... Aren't you glad to be included in... the Top Four to know?" I get out, smiling nervously. The thing about Edward is he can feel either like joking or like killing you. So far, it would seem he's in a joking mood.

"I really wish I had known before Black, but... I guess there's no helping it now. Can I tell mom?"

"Don't you... dare. If you... do, I'll never tell you... a secret again."

Edward sees I'm starting to grow purple, so he has mercy and gets off me. Helping me to my feet, we make our way back up the hill.

We sit down, looking at the small forest behind the school.

"What was the third thing you wanted to say?" I ask, focusing my camera on a passing squirrel. The shutter going off is the loudest sound.

"How do you feel about Marks liking May?"

I turn to look at Edward.

He gives me a sympathetic look.

"Belle, I'm your best friend. I know you better than you know yourself. So spill."

Looking down at my camera, I talk.

"Half of me wants to smack some sense into Romeo. He's blinded by lust, so he isn't seeing her for who she really is. And he doesn't get it, that everything she does is to get closer to you. The other half wants to yell at Romeo for liking a girl that hurt me so badly." I pull my sleeves up, now that the only one that can see my scars is Edward. "So basically, I'm torn between worry and anger."

Edward pats my head.

"Don't worry. Everything will work itself out."

Friday arrives far too quickly for my taste.

Alec managed to spend every night in my apartment (and bed) except for Sunday night. He and I talk a lot about our futures, our expectations and most importantly, about nothing of relevance. We goof off a lot, eat a lot and have a lot of fun. Yesterday, he took me to the movies and a very fancy restaurant. I only agreed because I knew it would be our last time going out as a semi-couple, possibly forever. And, truthfully, I wanted to be lavished at least once by this generous man.

As for Romeo, I'm on speaking terms with him again, but I haven't gone to the roof all week long. Speaking terms isn't the same as made up. I want him to simmer in misery over what he did. See if he ever speaks to me like that again.

As for everyone else, everything is in order.

"I'll see you after school, Bella." Alec kisses me goodbye, for the first time lingering a bit in the kiss.

"I really wish you didn't have to go back. I've had an amazing week thanks to you."

"Me too."

Inside the school gates, the gang is at their usual place.

When I get there, everyone is rigging Romeo.

"Oh, someone is nervous about their date!" snickers Jamie, nudging Romeo on the ribs.

"He's looking forward to Mayyy." Jazz makes kissing noises; I don't expect him to join the teasing, so I bark out a laugh.

They turn to look at me.

"Oh, Bella!" the girls run towards me, big doe eyes in place.

"Aren't you sad?" Ali says with a pitying face.

"Alec is leaving today." Angela pitches in.

"You won't get to see him again for a long time!" Rose moans tragically, obviously hurting about the fact that my ex-boyfriend is going back home.

"I'll see him soon. And as soon as he comes back from Germany, he said he'd give me a call." I shrug. "It's fine."

The girls are re-enacting the painting of 'The Scream'.

"It's _fine_ she says!" They garble amongst themselves, so I leave them to their own devices and talk to the boys instead.

"Three out of six of us boys are sort of glad your model ex is going away. I think all Angela's talked about is Alexander Müller these last few days." Ben offers. I laugh, agreeing.

" _I'm_ glad he's going. He came in at a really rough time for me. I was planning on taking up extra hours at work, but I couldn't if I wanted to see Alec at all. I'm so tired." I say honestly, feeling how his visit has taken a toll on my body.

"So we agree the best we got from his visit was the Aston Martin, correct?" Jazz votes, receiving an aye from every boy. I glare at them.

"Nay, assholes." We banter for a few minutes and ignore the Gorgons (as I've grown to think of them). We bother Romeo a bit about his date, too, but the bell rings and interrupts our process.

To Romeo's utter surprise, I sit beside him in Math class.

"Bella?" he whispers.

"I'm being the bigger man here. I don't want you to be worrying about me while you're on your date with Ms. Perfect, so I'm making up with you. That way, if your date is awful, you can't blame me."

He looks grateful.

"Bella..."

"One more thing." I interrupt. "I understand your reasoning behind your hurtful words. But I'm warning you, you have to get rid of that insecurity. May can sniff a low ego miles away, and if she feels like you fancy yourself weak, she won't blink before dumping you. You're handsome, smart, your personality has many good points and you like her a lot. That is enough to make you confident. Don't care so much about what you aren't but what you are. There are certain bridges you can only cross when you come to them, so don't fret beforehand. Enjoy yourself and you'll be fine."

Romeo's relief, as always, is palpable.

"Thank you." He sighs. "How did you know..." he trails off, knowing I understood.

"I know you better than you think I do. You have a low self-esteem and you tend to take it out on others. Doesn't make it less awful, but it's an explanation." I shrug. "The rest is simple deduction."

"How very Sherlock Holmes of you."

"Indeed, my dear Watson."

"Bella, are you sure you weren't going to miss Alec?"

"Of course I am, as a friend. I told you, didn't I? I miss Mike, Alec and Jake as friends." Leveling him with a glare, I continue. "Believe it or not, the only reason why there's a sexual nature to our relationship right now is only because we're unattached. That, and he's my first. We still love each other, just not the same way. I wouldn't do this with just anyone."

Feel the heat of my scorn.

Romeo looks away.

"I really _am_ sorry, you know? Even with everything going on inside me, what you do in your free time is none of my business. I shouldn't have said anything at all."

I nod.

"You're right. It isn't any of your business. But..." I give him a small smile. "Thank you for worrying about me."

Blinking, he turns to look at me.

"How did you..."

"I might not look it, but I _am_ perceptive. I know it was a whole mix for you of concern and insecurity. It's alright, just don't do it again."

"You're cool, Bella."

Facing the front, I mutter, "Duh."

When school lets out, Romeo is a big bundle of nerves. He's pacing and muttering and running his fingers through his head. He's so nervous that I start growing worried about him driving.

"Romeo, I think I'd feel safer if Alec and I followed you to your house and then to pick up May. You're shaking so much I' worried you might crash."

It takes visible effort for Romeo to calm down.

"I'd appreciate that, if it's not too much trouble. I'll calm down, but right now I'm just... too nervous."

Alec is waiting for me in front of the gate.

"What's wrong, Liebe? You look worried." Alec states when I round to his side and knock on his window so he'll open it.

I give him a brief kiss before explaining.

"Romeo is about to go on his date with May, and he's so nervous I'm afraid he might crash. Would you mind tailing him until we get to May's house?"

Alec nods immediately.

"No problem. Does he know?" I nod. "Damn. I wanted to stalk him 007 style."

Laughing, I call him an idiot and then race over to the gate, where Romeo can see me give him the go ahead.

Getting in the Aston, we wait until I see Romeo's car pull out of the parking lot.

"Follow him, Mr. Bond."

Laughing, Alec does as told.

When we get to Romeo's, we have to wait for ten minutes for him to get ready and everything in order. While we're there, Alec and I comment on his house.

It's Victorian, beautiful and humongous.

Alec whistles.

"Now, that's a house right there."

"It is truly beautiful. It was done with really good taste." I dust off the cobwebs from my brain. "If I remember correctly, Romeo's mother was an architect before she became a housewife. This must be her work."

Alec and I assess it.

"Of course, yours is ten times bigger and done by some famous architect, but then again, this is the best you'll ever see around here."

"But mine was designed to look imposing, rich, modern and luxurious. This one was built big but homey."

He's right. Despite its size and glamour, it looks like it was made thinking of a family and not a heir.

"You're right, all-knowing-house-guru. Any other observation?"

"Romeo is coming out of the house."

"Indeed. Well, Agent 007, lead the way."

Before getting into his own car, Romeo comes to the rental and taps on my window.

"Yes?"

"Uh, thanks for tailing me. If you could just follow me until I reach May's, that'd be great. After that, you two can go do whatever you had planned. I'll be alright." For a moment, Romeo glances at Alec's and my hand, which are linked over the console.

"Ok. If you need anything, Alec and I will be at the park in an hour. There, or eating someplace cheap like KFC."

Or back at my place.

I decide to leave that little tidbit to myself.

"Alright. Thanks for everything, you two."

He heads back to his car.

As we roll out of the driveway, Alec tugs at my hand. I blink and turn to look at him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Pissed. I really hate May. I wish he'd picked another girl to fall in love with. Even Jessica would've been better." I frown.

"Well, it's understandable. For now, let's enjoy ourselves stalking Marks."

Grinning, we tell odd jokes to each other, trying to see which one laughs first at the god-awful jokes.

I lose. I really love bad jokes.

Romeo comes to a stop in front of a quaint, normal-sized house painted beige. It's May's house, alright. I remember playing with her in the front garden, getting all dirty and then having to hear her mother's complaints about us staining the floor with mud. Back then, May didn't care much about staining her clothes.

We park further back, behind the car Romeo parked in front of.

I see him try to ring the doorbell a few times, then recoil. Exasperated, I roll the window down.

"Ring the fucking doorbell, Romeo, it doesn't bite!" I growl, then roll the window back up.

"But you sure do." Alec snickers.

"Shut it, Müller."

We watch as he finally builds up the courage to press the button. He's fidgeting, and at one point he looks at us. He stares for a second, and I don't know what he sees, but he calms down and waits patiently. He has a single red rose. I know May will love it.

Finally, the door opens.

May is there, dressed in jeans, ballet flats and an off the shoulder pink shirt. Her red hair is lose, and from here I can see her excited face when she receives Romeo.

He says something, then hands her the rose.

I can see her face brighten up, and for a moment, I have the hope that maybe Romeo will charm her into not hurting him.

She grabs his hand and guides him into the house.

Not, though, before I see a wide smile cross his face.

It makes me worried. He likes her so much, so what will he do if she turns out to be playing him? I'm loathe to see him hurt. It happened before, once. Tan started dating the most popular jock in her school, and he turned out to only be playing her. Throughout the weeks they dated, I was worried and sneered at the jock every chance I got. They're important people to me.

Mustering my best smile and telling myself not to worry too much, I turn to Alec.

"Let's get out of here. Romeo is fine, so we don't need to stay here." I squeeze his hand. "But let's swing by the diner first. I need to change my clothes."

Nodding, he does as told.

As we drive away, I can see Romeo and May come out of the house, both smiling.

Biting my lip, I make small talk with Alec.

The afternoon goes by amazingly fast. I guess that happens when you're having fun and you're worrying all along about someone else's date. Alec and I have an amazing time, joking, retelling anecdotes and goofing off as much as his personality allows us to. Before he has to go, we stop by my apartment for a quicky. Not one of my proudest moments, but honestly one of the most pleasurable ones.

Alec leaves at around seven, promising to come visit again sometime soon.

I cry a bit, tell him I miss him and order him to not come back without Alice as his girlfriend.

Smiling softly, Alec kisses my forehead. We're in front of my apartment, and I'm wearing one of his boxers and button-up blue t-shirts. I'm barefoot, with my hair hanging all over the place. His bags are in his car, and we're saying goodbye here because he said he wants us to bid farewell up now, more privately, and that he doesn't want a cliché where I linger in the street, watching him drive away.

So instead I let him kiss my forehead and murmur sweet nothings, then watch him go down the stairs and open the door that reaches the street. He looks back one time, smiles and blows me a kiss in a really cheesy way, then closes the door behind him and leaves.

Staying there a second longer, I hear the car drive away.

I enter my apartment, close the door behind me and slide against the door.

Sitting against it, I let the tears I've held in all day long fall.

I'm not quite sure what I cry for. Romeo? Alec? Myself?

I know what I'm crying for; everything. Everyone.

I cry because I'm heartbroken, and because I'm finally seeing things I was unknowingly blind to.

I cry for my past relationships and the failure they were.

Mike was a fling. We never expected much from each other, only to have a good time when we were together. If we couldn't meet, neither of us suffered. When he went back to Prague, I knew I'd miss him, but it didn't hurt. We were more like friends with benefits than anything else.

Alec was the perfect boyfriend. He was reliable, and his job was under the public eye, which gave me the security that he couldn't just _flee_ like my father. He cared for me and was understanding of me. But we were too similar, and our relationship lacked passion. Maybe that's one of the reasons why falling for Jake was so easy; maybe, if Alec and I had been more passionate (not in bed, but in general), things would've turned out differently. We never fought, and we rarely had heated arguments about our varying opinions, since they were so similar. But our relationship was too serious, too grown up. We weren't right for each other.

Then there was Jake. We fell for each other too hard, were too infatuated with each other. It wasn't healthy. How much we loved each other... I guess a love like that was doomed from the beginning, meant to die out from the start. He was everything I wished for in a man. But at the end of the day, I relied too much on him to give me happiness, and he did not rely enough on me to be able to accept his decisions. I was forced to learn that you can't base your happiness on another person, hard as it may be.

I'm like this, crying intensely, because worrying about Romeo's love life made me look back on mine. And if I compare how fleeting they were, how unsuccessful, to how Romeo's relationship will end, I feel sad. I know how everything ends for Romeo. Broken heart and looking for the next best thing.

More than anything, I want to go back in time and tell myself that those loves, though necessary, were untrue. I want to go back and tell Romeo the same thing, so that he'll judge his feelings for May better.

I cry. I cry until I'm all out of tears. I cry about anything I can think of; my first boyfriend, my first serious relationship and my first heartbreak. I cry for my father, disappeared to somewhere I don't know. I cry for my mother, my poor mother, who I visit when I can and send the money I have to spare. I cry for the Cullen family, and how much they must have suffered when they found me surrounded by blood. I cry for my group of friends, and how much pain and turmoil I've brought them. I cry for Romeo, who'll face heartbreak sooner or later, even if he doesn't deserve it.

I cry for myself.

Hours later, when I have no tears left to leak, I stand up. I feel reborn; weightless, free. I walk to the bathroom's sink, wash my face and comb my hair. I change into yoga pants, converse, Edward's Superman shirt and a sweater. I grab my keys, wallet and ancient phone.

I make my way to the only home I've ever known:

The Cullen household.

I use my key to let myself into the house. Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle are curled up in front of the TV, and I can hear the music blasting from Tan's room. Sneaking up behind them, I lightly touch their shoulders.

"OH MY GOD!" Aunt Esme gasps, then turns around, smiling. "Dear, next time you're trying to scare someone, be careful to not be reflected on the TV. Really, I thought we trained you better than that."

"Drat." I snap my fingers, smirking. Uncle Carlisle still hasn't ripped his face away from the TV, but then again, I didn't expect him to. "The news? How boring." But despite my words, I lose myself in the news, too.

"Bella, you haven't dropped by often lately. Is everything alright?"

"Huh?" I snap myself back to reality. "Oh, yeah, everything's ok. But you remember Alec, the guy I brought on Sunday? Well, he was staying throughout the week, and he left today. Since he was here only to visit me, I thought I might as well spend my time with him."

"Well," she pats my hand. "The house was far too quiet without you. If you're wondering, Tanya is upstairs and that ruffian you call a friend is out. He should be back soon."

"He better. His curfew is in an hour." Uncle Carlisle mutters, changing the channel to a game.

"Oh, that's ok. I'll just be in Tan's room, then."

I trudge up the stairs, then barge straight into Tan's very pink room.

She's lying face down on her bed, alternating between reading a magazine and texting. Bored, she raises her eyes. When she sees me, her face brightens, then falls.

"What are you wearing, Bella?"

I give her an embarrassed smile. She sends a quick text, shuts her magazine and gives me her undivided attention.

"I've decided to go back to my usual style." She starts protesting, but I stop her. "Obviously, I'll try to wear the uniform's skirt once in a while, and I won't wear my hair in a bun anymore, Your Highness. I'm not reverting _completely_."

I sit down on her bed.

"Why are you doing this, Bella?"

So I explain.

"This is me. I was thinking about it a lot, why lately, I feel like something is wrong. I might've started dressing like this for comfort because I felt I had no other choice, but... at the end of the day, this is who I am. I'm happy this way. I feel... safe."

Tan looks at me with all-knowing eyes, sighing.

"What else? There's something bothering you. Your eyes are red, Bella, of course I'd notice."

I give her a sad smile.

"I realized my relationships were a failure."

"All of them?"

"Some more than others, but yeah. There's this voice inside my head, telling me I never should've dated any of them. I'm happy I did, don't get me wrong. But they weren't right for me. I guess I'm sad. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. A part of me wishes I had waited for the right guy, and another part is thankful for the experience and love I received. My love for Jake was destructive, not at all healthy. I feel flighty for having dated Mike. I feel awful for having hurt Alec, and yet..."

"You don't regret it?"

"Exactly. I learnt a lot. And it got me thinking about Romeo."

"Romeo?"

"Riley Marks, the guy I went to Sadie Hawkins with."

"What about him?"

"I realized I have to let him make his own mistakes. He'll get hurt by May and it'll hurt me, too, as his friend. But I have to support him, hate for May aside."

"So you're fine?"

I nod.

"I'm just a bit sad. It'll go away soon, so don't worry. It's not like I'm heartbroken, so it's ok. This will pass in a few hours." I lay down, looking at the ceiling. "Now, hit me with the latest gossip."

And she does. She tells me of everything that's been happening lately in her college, tells me of who did what and who said shit. We're in the middle of a very deep discussion regarding a certain promiscuous Eric Yorkie, when the door to Tan's bedroom opens and in steps Edward.

I glance down at my watch.

"Wardo? I wasn't expecting you for at least another half hour. Was the party that boring?"

I hear a sound escape Tan, but I'm not quite sure what. It sounds like a snort, but I'm inclined to believe it's a grunt of annoyance.

Edward's glare doesn't provide an answer, either.

"It was a drag. No alcohol, either. It didn't matter much because I was the designated driver, but still. I was looking forward to making fun of everyone." He leans his head to the side. "I just bought a couple Xbox 360 games. Want to break them in with me?"

"Depends. What're they about?"

"Does Final Fantasy XIII-2 and Halo 4 mean anything to you?"

I gasp.

"You didn't..."

"I did."

I take a quick look at Tan, already scrambling off the bed.

"Sorry Tan. Final Fantasy wins. See ya!" I hurry after Edward, who's already crossed the hallway and has started opening the game.

"Yeah, yeah." I hear her mutter before closing the door behind me and racing towards Edward's room.

I find him already popping the game in.

"Will you do the honors?" He hands me the control. I grin in a really geeky way.

"Gladly."

I don't even ask him if he's sure.

We sit down on the floor, next to the Xbox and in front of the TV.

"That you're here must mean Müller is gone, right?" he asks from his spot. He's leaning back on his hands. I'm paying more attention to the game than him, though, so he repeats his question when he receives no answer.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sent him off a few hours ago."

"Are you sad?"

I answer him distractedly, too focused in the introduction.

"Sure..."

Edward presses pause, making me gape at him.

"What'd you do that for?" We go through the game of stopping and resuming a few times before I stop trying to resume the game. "What?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I asked if you're sad that Müller is gone."

I blow some hair out of my face, annoyed.

"And I answered, sure." I roll my eyes, and he pokes me in the stomach. He hates me rolling my eyes, I hate him poking my stomach. Tit for tat. "What do you want me to say? I'm fine. I'll miss him, but it's not like my world began and ended with him."

"Then why were you crying?"

I divert my eyes from his face, looking instead at the frozen image in the TV.

"Long story short, I'm worried about Romeo and sad about my relationships. I've accepted Romeo has to make his own mistakes, and at the same time, I feel hopeful that May won't hurt him. I realized, too, that there's something wrong about my relationships. I don't regret them, but I wonder if I should've waited. I feel I was too young for such relationships." I flicker my eyes to Edward's briefly. He looks attentive, as always.

So I continue.

"I guess, in a way, Romeo reminds me of myself. Fell hard for someone troublesome. I want to save him the pain, but he won't let me. Maybe, if he's lucky, May will come to like him more than she likes you."

"Go on."

Why does he know me so well?

"I got to thinking that... my previous relationships weren't all that healthy. Sure they were fun and exactly what I had wanted them to be, but they left me..."

"With a sense of emptiness inside?" Edward gives me an all-knowing look. Sighing, I agree.

"Emptiness and lessons. Thanks to them, now I know what I want and what I don't want in future relationships."

"What _do_ you want?"

"From Mike, I realized I want laughter. I want every day to be fun. From Alec, I realized I want to be treated like a woman every single day. I want to feel pretty and treasured. And from Jake, I learnt I want passion. I want heated arguments and debates and something new to learn every day. "

"What _don't_ you want?" I shift slightly, recalling my conclusions.

"Because of Mike, I realized I don't want someone that thinks as far as tomorrow. Not necessarily a planner, but someone that thinks of the future every once in a while, and includes me in that vision. Due to Alec, I know I don't want to feel detached, floating in and out of the relationship. I want stability and forethought, but I don't want my next ten years to be planned out. And then from Jake, obviously, I want someone reliable. Someone that won't run away. I want to be someone's priority; not creepy in the way of 'I'll give up everything for you' but more like thinking of me when making decisions, even if I won't like it. " I finish, blushing lightly.

Edward nods, taking it all in.

"Well, I'm glad you know what you want. And I'm glad to see you really are ok." He assesses me for a second longer, then presses play again for the game. "Now, on to Final Fantasy."

"Yes, sir!"

We spend five hours playing, taking turns. By the time we're done, I'm lying on the floor, curled up around a bowl of popcorn and on my way to dreamland.

"Good night, Belle." I hear a whisper, then feel a kiss on my forehead, and then I'm out.

* * *

 **Yeah, so as you can see, Bella had some shit to think through. Sometimes we tend to idolize people, and it's only until they're gone that we start really seeing them for who they were. Not necessarily bad people, but not perfect. Nobody's perfect, even if they might seem like it. I also happen to enjoy learning from other people's relationships; I see what problems they face, and try to avoid them in the future. But here's the best piece of advice I've learnt from watching others: you can't love another person if you don't love yourself. You'll only make yourselves miserable. But anyways, leave me some love! The posting spree is almost over.**

 **Leah.**


	11. Love is in the Air

**DISCLAIMER: I'M JUST A GIRL, WRITING ABOUT A BOY AND A GIRL IN A MESSY RELATIONSHIP.**

* * *

I wake up in Edward's bed. He's behind me, holding me to his chest. Just like every time I sleep on the same bed as my best friend, I feel something poking my back. I always think about annoying him about it, but I figure it's normal for a guy to wake up like that. It's the middle of the night, and winter is making itself more known by the second. It's so cold that, with the covers and Edward's body warmth, I'm still cold. So, careful to not wake Edward, I slip out of bed and head to his closet, where the blankets are stored. I pull out the one at the bottom, because it's the warmest and my favorite.

A box falls down.

Frowning, I lean down to pick it up. With blurry eyes, I notice it's rectangular and has _Tiffany's_ printed at the front. Curious, I glance at Edward to make sure he's still sleeping.

I open it.

It's beautiful and simple. It's a silver chain, and it has a small glass angel hanging from it.

I glance at my sleeping best friend.

Who is this for? When did he buy it? Why didn't he tell me?

I feel strange. Irrational rage surges through me. I don't know how to call this. It's odd; I haven't felt this way since I was a child. I know it's not for me; Edward knows I would never wear a necklace other than the one my father left me. So who did he buy it for? Why didn't he mention it? It's not for Aunt Esme or Tan. It's too expensive, and I know Edward _always_ gives Aunt Esme a massage and lavishes her like a queen for one day, taking her wherever she wants he'd normally be caught dead in; he gives Tan, without fail, a nasty prank and a piece of clothing she's been eyeing. He's never given either jewelry, nor me; the fanciest he's bought is a purse for Tanya.

So the question remains: who is this necklace for?

It fucking _better_ not be Jessica.

Some say I should let it go, but I say: no.

I worry. It's not a part of me this time, but my all. Edward has never liked a girl for long amounts of time. Certainly not enough to buy an expensive necklace to. My heart beats quickly; will he change me for another girl? Will he prefer her, rely on her more? Vaguely, I wonder if he felt the same way about Jake. Fear grips my heart. I can't lose Edward. Irrationally, one thought lingers in my mind: he's mine. I'm startled by it, so I lock it away in that part of my brain where all those kinds of thoughts are stored.

I see Edward grow restless, feeling around the bed. He's getting cold and waking up as a result of lack of warmth. Hastily, I hide the box under one of the blankets. Then I slip back into the bed, throwing the blanket on us. Edward grows still, reaches for me and hugs me again.

Closing my eyes, I wonder.

 _Which is the girl in Edward's heart?_

* * *

 _Excerpt of Edward and Jamie's conversation. Friday night; the arcade._

 _Jamie: Eddie, you're doing it all wrong! Concentrate! We're getting annihilated here._

 _Edward: Shut up, Hunter, I know this game like the back of my hand._

 _Jamie: ..._

 _Edward: What? Stop looking at me like that._

 _Jamie: Are you so worried about Bella and that Alec dude?_

 _Edward (frowning): Who said I was worried?_

 _Jamie: Dude, stop fretting. That guy is leaving today. Besides, it doesn't look that serious between them._

 _Edward: ..._

 _Edward: You think so?_

 _Jamie: Of course. Otherwise, she'd have introduced him to you a long time ago._

 _Edward (sighs)_

 _Jamie (pitying): Edward, when are you going to tell Bella how you feel about her?_

 _Edward (startled out of reverie): Huh?_

 _Jamie: You've been in love with her for the last four years. Don't you think it's time to say something? Anything?_

 _Edward: No, man, I can't. I know Bella. For one, she isn't in love with me. Second, she doesn't see me as a man. Third, I know her. She wouldn't jeopardize our relationship. In her mind, going out with me would mean to lose me. If I were to tell her my feelings or give her the space to suspect them, the result would be either a severed friendship or awkwardness for months._

 _Jamie: You sure about this?_

 _Edward: As sure as that I need air to breathe._

 _Jamie: Who would've thought you'd end up falling in love with your best friend, right?_

 _Edward (laughing humorlessly): Certainly not me._

 _Edward (checks phone): Huh._

 _Jamie: What?_

 _Edward (gets up): Tan just texted me. Says Belle is home. Gotta fly, man._

 _Jamie: You lame bastard._

 _Edward: Lame and happy. Müller is gone._

 _End of excerpt_

* * *

When I wake up again, I'm suffocating.

Edward is half on top of me, and dragged with him all the blankets. Glancing at my clock, I notice it's noon.

"Wardo... move away from me." I groan, trying to push him away. I only accomplish him burrowing further into my upper body, hurting me.

So I forcefully push him away.

He lands on the ground with a satisfying thump.

"Ugh... The hell, Belle?" I hear him groan. Rolling to the edge of the bed, I give him a sleepy smile.

"Man, we should break in Halo today. Or remain loyal to Final Fantasy. Whichever is fine."

"Halo. I've been wanting that baby for a long-ass time now."

"Yes, sir!" I scramble off the bed and then help Edward to his feet, feeling my muscles groan. "Man, I'm sore. I shouldn't have fallen asleep around the popcorn."

"Me too." Edward whines, then dusts himself off.

I walk to his desk, where I put my phone.

"Huh."

"Huh what?"

"Romeo texted me. Said he wants to talk to me." I frown, then reply at what time.

NOW -R

"What are you telling him?"

"I'll meet him in front of the house. I don't feel like showering today or moving too much."

"Don't you have work?"

"I have the day off."

MEET ME IN FRONT OF EDWARD'S. TXT ME WHEN YOU GET HERE -B

K -R

Yawning, I scratch my belly. I crack my knuckles, and Edward makes a face. He hates it when I do that.

"So, you're staying here for the day?"

"I'd ask if it's alright with you, but I'm staying here regardless."

"It's alright with me. Got nothing going on today, anyways. Mom and dad left early to a friend's reunion, though, so we have to make our own breakfast. Tan is with them, so she won't be here to tell on us if we decide to ask for take out pizza."

We look at each other in unspoken understanding, heading downstairs.

"Cereal and pancakes?" I say.

"With chocolate syrup and M & M's."

"Man, you and I are going to be so fat one day."

"Fat _and_ happy." Edward corrects, grinning.

"True that." I say in my best gangster voice.

My phone vibrates.

IM HERE -R

"Start mixing the batter without me. I won't take long." I inform Edward. He salutes and retreats into the kitchen, while I make my way over to the driveway, feet bare.

Romeo is parked in front of the driveway. He sees me coming, and motions for me to get into the passenger seat.

"Make this quick, Romeo, I haven't had breakfast and I get cranky without food."

He turns up the heater.

"I'm sorry, I just needed to talk to someone. I guess you'd be the one to understand me the best."

I tell him to go on. He takes a deep breath, then smiles grandly.

"May is awesome. She's hilarious, and friendly, and everything I thought she would be. She's so wonderful, and best of all, she agreed to meet with me on Monday after school." He looks at me out the corner of his eye. "I understand what you said, though, about her caring for image and money. She was sort of proud that I didn't even stop to think twice about paying for anything and everything. She loved my car, and when I told her where I lived, she was obviously impressed. Yet... she wasn't snooty. She never made a bad face at the waiter, even when he accidentally spilled her glass on the table and some soda fell on her clothes. She might be partly what you remember her to be, but... she's changed."

I bite my lip, thinking.

"What did she say about the date?"

"She told me it was the funnest date she'd been on, and that she wanted to see me again. That's good, right? She said she had a great time."

I smile at him.

"That's definitely good, Romeo. I'm glad you both had a good time."

He assesses me.

"You look well. You've been looking tense all week long. What was it?"

I shrug.

"A little of everything. Alec here was nice but tiring. Being apart of Edward is hard for me, because we're always together, and we hardly spoke this week. Your predicament with May worried me, too. I thought..." I sigh, looking down at my hands. "I thought she might hurt you."

Romeo ruffles my hair.

I glare.

"I appreciate your worry, but it was unneeded. And as far as Edward goes, I didn't know you two were so close." Alec comments.

"Yeah, well, you could say that if soul mates exist, Ed and I are the living proof. We're closer than you'd imagine. We can spend hours without talking but know what the other is thinking about. Freaky, but true." I look at the clock. Seven minutes have gone by, and Edward must be waiting for me. "Speaking of Edward, I have to get back to him. We're about to pig out on an unhealthy breakfast."

I'd ask him to join us, but it feels like he'd intrude. I want to spend a day with Edward.

Romeo nods like he understands.

"Well, tell him hi for me."

I open the door, and I'm about to step out when a thought enters me.

"Hey, Romeo..." I don't look at him.

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel if I bought a gift for Alec or some other guy that's not you?"

His confusion is palpable.

"What?"

"Just answer me."

"I'd feel jealous that I got nothing, if it's not for an occasion."

 _Jealousy_.

"Why jealous?"

"I like gifts. I want one, too."

"No other reason?"

"None that jump out at me. Why?"

I'm already halfway out the door.

"Thanks, Romeo."

I can finally place what I felt yesterday. I store that thought for later. Because even though Romeo said that, I have a feeling the jealousy he's talking about is different than the one I felt. After all, he would not feel the irrational thought of _she's mine_ , nor the fear of losing me.

 _What's happening to me?_

Back in the house, Edward is just making the first pancake.

"That was quick."

"Told you so."

"What did he want?"

"To talk about his date with May. Said it went wonderful."

"Good."

I start setting the bowls, take out the cereal and silverware. Then I stand beside Edward, watch him pour the batter.

"Hey, Wardo."

"Yo, Belle."

I cross my arms over my chest.

"Have you thought about what you want to study in college? Or what you want to be?"

He glances, clearly thinking that the question is unexpected.

"I _have_ thought about it." He confesses. I'm surprised; I thought he hadn't. "I like business a lot. I've always wanted to be in a company; you know, make big decisions, sit in a chair, be a boss. Make lots of money. Be a CEO. You know how much I like money making. I'll study industrial engineering with a minor in business. I'm good at math, so it won't be hard. Engineering opens a lot of doors in the business world."

It's true. Not only is he good at making money, he's surprisingly good at math. Which is why it pisses me off so much that he wants to copy from me, who's mediocre at best. No one can bullshit like Edward, either.

"You'll be a great shark -I mean, businessman." I laugh when Edward elbows me, huffing. The first pancake is done, and it looks delicious.

"What do _you_ want to be?"

I watch as he pours the batter in. Then I take out another pan and start doing the another one.

"I... want to be a photographer." I say in a small voice. I haven't told anyone, fearing that they'll reproach me and tell me to study something else. Tell me it's a waste of my good grades.

"I think that's amazing, Belle." He tells me honestly, and I turn to look at him, grinning. I flip the pancake.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's what you love, right? You should do it. I've seen your pictures, and they're wonderful. You'll make a wonderful addition to the photography world." He smiles.

I feel my heart warm. Nobody can reassure me like Edward.

"Thanks, Tony. To be honest, I also want to get a degree in journalism. Back myself up, you know?"

A few minutes later, we have a stack of pancakes for each of us. They're bathed in chocolate syrup, M & M's and whipped cream. Lucky Charms is waiting for us to be eaten afterwards.

We sit down in front of each other.

"Competition?" Edward proposes.

I lift my knife and fork.

"Competition." I confirm.

We eat like beasts.

Twenty minutes later, Edward wins by a fraction of a second. We have chocolate syrup around our mouths and milk dripping from our chins. We look disgusting and happy.

After cleaning up, we tumble on the living room's couch, exhausted.

"Who knew eating could be so tiring?"

"You say that as though it was our first time."

"Yeah. Next time, let's do it with less syrup. I feel sticky."

"Speaking of the syrup, here." He reaches towards me and wipes some from my cheek, then licks his finger. "You had some." He makes a face. "Tastes salty."

"That's what you get for licking food from my face." I avert my face so he can't see me blush. It's not the first time he'd done that, but it's the first time I've felt so conscious about it.

What's wrong with me?

Am I sick?

Edward crosses his eyes and makes a funny face.

Yeah, I decide, laughing. I'm definitely sick.

Monday arrives without much fanfare. I spent Saturday with Edward, just lazing around the house. We ordered five pizzas and ate half of each, and then for dinner we ordered Chinese with Aunt Esme, Uncle Carlisle and Tan. Sunday morning, Edward and I discovered we both gained about five pounds.

Neither of us regretted it, though.

The rest of the Sunday I worked and caught up with homework, as always.

I go to school with pants. I wear my usual sweater, the school's shirt and school sports pants with my converse. I don't wear my hair in a bun, as promised, and use it instead in a long French braid. I look more feminine than I used to, but not as girly as lately.

Upon reaching the Cullen household, I do my routine. I greet my uncle and aunt, knock on Tan's door and barge into Edward's room. Then I head downstairs to have breakfast.

Vaguely, I realize I haven't asked Edward yet about the necklace.

"Bella, dear, you sure you don't want more bacon? It's rare for you not to eat more." Aunt Esme gives me a concerned look.

I wave her away.

"I'm ok, just watching my weight. I really pigged out this weekend, so until I burn off what I gained, I have to restrict myself."

"If you say so." Uncle Carlisle mutters, flipping his newspaper.

Tan and Edward trudge downstairs, Edward in his uniform and Tan in her pajamas. Tan looks disheveled, like she tossed and turned all night long. Edward looks like a cool boy that came out of a manga; the hairstyle, the lose uniform, the sweater and swag. My heart thumps at the sight, but I quiet it down. It doesn't matter how awesome he looks, he's just Edward.

Why don't I believe myself?

"Edward," Aunt Esme begins, laying down his breakfast on his spot. He sits down and starts shoving food down his throat. He grunts, acknowledging her. "How much did the two of you eat yesterday, while we were out?"

She's trying to corner him, but we've got skills acquired throughout the years.

We start mumbling and give her a half-assed answer.

"I ask, because funnily enough, I'm missing a 50. Would either of you know where it went?" Aunt Esme glares, spatula in hand and arms crossed. She looks -is- like an angry housewife.

"Funny, right?"

"I know. What are the odds?" Edward agrees, almost through with stuffing his face. I'm already done and just waiting for him.

"Almost like someone used the money to buy food."

"They sure are gluttons."

Edward and I look at Aunt Esme with angelic eyes.

Glaring, she comes around the table and smacks both of us in the back of the head.

"Stop ordering so much pizza. Eat healthy every once in a while."

Edward points at his pineapple and the apple he'll eat on our way to school, 'What the hell?' clearly inscribed in his face. He eats a lot of fruit. I eat whatever is laid down in front of me.

"Eat healthy when your father and I aren't around to watch you." Aunt Esme amends.

Edward is done and ready to go.

He grabs his apple, his bag and kisses Aunt Esme on the cheek. He ruffles Tan's hair and gets punched in return. I kiss my uncle and aunt's cheek, then wave bye to Tan.

We're out before Aunt Esme can keep reprimanding us.

We walk arm in arm, like we always do. But this time, I can feel the warmth of his arm against mine. The necklace keeps popping up behind my eyes, and yet I can't bring myself to ask him.

"Hey, Belle, what are you doing tomorrow?" Edward asks before I can say anything.

"Huh? Well, I have my shift at the bookstore. Then nothing. Why?"

"I want to swing by the car dealership. I want to investigate some cars and report back to mom and dad on prices and the like. It's two towns over, though. What do you say? You in?"

"Duh."

We quiet down.

A question burns in my throat.

"Hey Tony, can I ask you something?"

"You already did, but you can ask something else."

I bite my lip, and hesitantly ask him.

"Have you..." I stare straight ahead, not daring to look at him. "Do you have a girl you really like? Or a girl you've loved?"

He chokes on his apple.

After thumping him in the back a few times, he regains his breath. He's bright red.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you know who I've liked. So... I want to know about you. There has to be more to your love life than sex."

Edward takes a few minutes answering.

"I do. I have a girl I like. The first one I've ever really liked. More than just to have sex with."

"Oh."

Why does my heart hurt this way? I expected him to tell me no. I thought he'd say there's never been a girl he likes, and that to him, I'm the only important girl. I wanted him to say that, so I could stop worrying about the necklace having a special meaning.

Instead, I feel a tugging at my heartstrings.

Jealousy, Romeo said.

I think I know what's happening, and I refuse to let it happen.

"Who is she?" I ask, trying for aloofness.

"Nobody you like."

"Hey! How do you know that?"

"You don't like any girls."

Well, he has a point. I frown, though, and try another question. He's being surprisingly secretive.

"And why aren't you two dating?"

"She doesn't see me like that." My mouth drops. _Every_ girl would kill for a chance with Edward. Who is this bitch?

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"Well, then you might be wrong. Who knows? Maybe she harbors a secret crush on you." I propose, not sure why I'm standing up for a girl I don't know. Lord knows I don't want to.

Edward gives me an odd look.

"Belle, this isn't _Twilight_."

"The girl's crush on the sparkling vampire was hardly a secret."

"Fine, this isn't a k-drama."

I can't argue with that comparison.

"Won't you tell me who she is?"

"No."

"Why? How about our no secrets policy?"

"You'll just make things awkward. Leave things as they are, Bella."

I huff.

"If you say nothing, you'll never know what might've happened. You gotta take a risk sometimes, Wardo."

He swings his arm over my shoulders. The school gates are in sight.

"This is a risk I'm not willing to take."

He leaves it at that.

With the group, everyone is there. Romeo looks very excited, the boys are teasing him about it and the Gorgons are talking about something else. When they see me coming, they all make a face at my pants, but don't comment.

Thank goodness.

"Romeo was just telling us about his kiss with a certain Miss May." Jamie makes a kissy noise, fluttering his eyes at Romeo. He scowls and blushes.

"Oh, he's blushing!" Emmett howls, high fiving with Jamie.

"How sweet." Mutters Ben, rolling his eyes.

"Stop pestering my cousin. It's not his fault he's too innocent for his own good." Jazz tries to defend Romeo, but only earns the girls' cooing.

"Boys and girls, it's not correct to kiss and tell." I admonish mockingly. Romeo sighs in relief. I don't even need to look at Edward to know he'll finish my sentence.

"But we want you to regardless, Romeo. Spill."

And so he does. He tells us more of the date, how it went, what they did and said.

We cat call, tease him and laugh at Romeo so much our sides hurt when the bell rings.

Emmett catches up to me when I'm making my way to Math. Surprisingly, Rose isn't with him.

"Bells, there's something I want to tell you."

"Speak."

"Well, more like comment on." He fidgets, but he doesn't look afraid. More like nervous. "I noticed that the air around you and Edward today... changed."

"Changed?" My heart thumps. Did they notice? Furthermore, how come it's _Emmett McOblivious_ who noticed?

"Yeah. Almost like... things between the two of you are back to normal." He says quietly. I remember him and Jamie asking me if Edward and I would ever make up. It seems like so long ago. "I don't know, finishing each other's sentences and joking with each other. It seems like... you two really _are_ over this summer."

I smile.

"Yeah. On Friday, things sort of fell into place. We're back to where we were. Nothing special happened, but we just... click again. Thanks, Emma, for telling me this."

And I really am happy. For a time, I thought things between us wouldn't go back. But slowly, throughout these months we've fixed things between us. We've made an effort, and through our goofing and talking and drama, we're back to normal. Thank God. I don't know what it is, but ever since Friday, the atmosphere is the same as it always had been.

"I'm glad." He grins, and then he goes to his own class.

I'm fortunate to have such great friends.

In Math class, I sit with Romeo.

He's fidgeting.

"Goodness gracious, are you going to be this nervous every time you see May?" I roll my eyes and punch his arm. Jazz and Ali are behind us, submerged in their own world. Edward is sitting with Tyler, the Math whiz, halfway across the room. Mr. Banner has my best friend under surveillance, so they sit in the very front. Tyler because he likes the front row _and_ is being bribed by Edward to slip him the answers when Mr. Banner isn't looking.

"It's not my fault! Weren't _you_ nervous before your dates?" he challenges, making me blanche. Was I? No, I never was. I was excited about my first date ever with Mike, and humming with energy about my first date with Jake. But nervous?

"I wouldn't say nervous. Excited, rather. I don't know." I shrug. "Most of the time, I was pissed at Mike for being late, too comfortable with the dates Alec took me on and pretty happy with going out with Jake. Why? Is that odd?"

Romeo shakes his head.

"Not necessarily. Everyone feels differently."

His comment surprises me. He must really feel nervous not to criticize my way of feeling and acting.

"Romeo, you'll be fine. Just concentrate on making May so happy she can't think of any other guy but you."

 _Meaning Edward._

This time, when I think of avoiding her liking Edward thing, it's not because I want to protect Romeo. It's not because she's annoying. Her liking Edward makes a weird feeling spring in the pit of my stomach, a bit like what I felt when I found the necklace.

Jealousy, said Romeo. Should I believe him? He probably gave me a half-assed answer.

While I'm wondering, Romeo observes me.

"What?" I snap when I finally notice. I wipe around my mouth, trying to see if remains of breakfast stuck to my face.

"Today was the first time I got a deeper glimpse into your relationship with Edward. Was that how everything was before... you know?"

I raise an eyebrow.

"Really Romeo, I thought you'd be the most straightforward one and call it a suicide attempt." He flinches. "But yes, that's how we were before the mess. I didn't think there was such a difference." I muse.

He nods.

"I don't know, the atmosphere seemed cleaner. And all this time I've known you, it's like you gravitate towards each other and yet maintain a distance. Sometimes, I'd see you trying to loop your arm through his or him being ready to put an arm over your shoulders, only to stop halfway. You two seem more... comfortable."

"He was only like that in school, though. We didn't stop being all huggy outside. I don't know why. It just happened."

Romeo nods.

"Well, I'm glad you've solved it."

"Me, too."

"Ms. Swan, having a pleasant chat with Mr. Marks? Would you care to inform the rest of the class what you were talking about?" Mr. Banner does not look amused, obviously having been waiting for the class to shut up.

I smile angelically.

"I was just commenting on the importance of freedom of speech. Wonderful right, isn't it? To be able to speak your mind?" The class laughs, and I even see Mr. Banner holding back a smile.

"Yes, it is. Too bad that schools work around those rights." My smile slips off. "Understood?"

I salute.

"Aye aye, captain."

When lunch arrives, I go up to the rooftop. I brought my camera with me today, and I have a few minutes alone before Romeo comes up.

"Where were you?"

"Buying lunch. Want some bread?" I all but leap to where he is and snatch the bread away from him.

"Thank God. I thought I'd have to conform to my own lunch."

"You brought your own?" Romeo asks, surprised. I always buy in the cafeteria (if I have money to spare).

I nod, chewing. Swallowing, I answer.

"Aunt Esme packed for me some leftovers from yesterday's dinner. Already inhaled them."

I sit down, and Romeo follows my lead.

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

I almost drop my bread (which turned out to be a sandwich) in surprise.

Romeo never asks about asking.

"Can I stop you?" I ask rhetorically.

"It's sort of personal."

My God, is he going to ask me about my period or something? He's acting so odd.

"Well, ask and I'll see if I can answer you."

Romeo chews thoughtfully for a moment longer before asking me.

"Have you ever thought of dating Edward?"

I drop my sandwich.

I'm not surprised enough not to apply the 5 second rule, though, and hastily pick it up. I wipe it for any visible dirtiness, but it's pretty clean up here.

"No." I answer, my voice cold.

This is not open for discussion.

Romeo persists, though.

"Why not? Obviously, the two of you are compatible. You even said he was your soul mate the other day. It would be easy as breathing for you two to be together."

I clear my head and try explaining as calmly as I can.

"Romeo, has there ever been something precious to you? Someone whose life is more important to you than your own life?"

Romeo thinks about it.

"Max and Ali."

"Well, for me, that person is Edward. He's so precious to me, I'd walk through fire to save him. Edward has been my anchor in good and bad times. As far as I'm concerned, there has never been a better man or woman than Edward. Including Jake." I swallow. "I'm aware of how easy it'd be for us to be together."

"Then why aren't you?"

"If I were to lose Edward, I'd die." I say simply. "I'd try to kill myself as many times as I had to until I was six feet underground. That, or sadness would kill me. He's more important to me than family or love. My life has sucked ass for only God knows how long, and the anchor to this world has been Edward."

Romeo stares at me. There's something I have to tell him I haven't told Edward.

"I haven't been completely honest about _that_ day." I whisper. Romeo's eyes widen. "What I'm about to tell you must not leave this roof, Riley. Do you understand?"

He knows it's serious when I don't call him Romeo.

He nods, gulping.

I look at the sky, then at my sandwich, and finally at Romeo.

"All this time, I've said my reason for wanting to kill myself was depression over losing Jake. Truth is, I was sad, but... Not _that_ sad." I swallow. Romeo's face is impassive. "Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"I think so." His voice is hoarse.

"Jamie once asked me if I blamed Edward. And I did. Honestly? I blamed Edward more than I blamed Jake." I look up, watching the clear skies. "I know now the only thing to blame is my own weakness. That night, I was feeling broken. Madness drove me to the extreme."

"Bella... Why did you blame Edward?"

I don't stop looking at the sky.

"I called him. Told him I needed him. I just wanted to talk. He said he couldn't because he was with some hot chick. It might've been the second or third time he couldn't see me because of a girl, but that time hit me. What I was going mad over was thinking that Jake got tired of me. When Edward said that, I thought: Is he going to forget me? Will he eventually pick another girl over me? Will I lose Edward, too?"

I remain quiet for a few seconds, and Romeo waits.

"The thought broke me. I thought I wouldn't live in a world where there was the slightest chance of Edward abandoning me. Of course, Jake drove me into the madness that let me think that. But the reason why my string snapped was Edward. I thought, _It's Edward's fault_. If he'd just come home, he would've put my mind at ease. He would've reassured me those girls were meaningless, and that no woman would take my spot." I'm crying, feeling all over the pain from that day. Tears just stream down my face. "I just wanted Edward to comfort me." I hiccup.

Romeo makes no move to comfort me, and I appreciate it. I hardly want his touch right now.

"Then what?"

I try breathing in and out calmly before answering.

"Until some degree, he suspected I blamed him. He walked on eggshells around me, and for the first two weeks he didn't even look at another girl. Then he grew to resent me. For wanting to kill myself and somehow blaming him for it. Then we grew into a stage where we were mad at each other underneath our usual behavior. We just wanted to get past that nightmare as soon as possible."

"Do you still blame him?"

I shake my head.

"I blame myself for being a fool."

We remain silent for ten minutes or so, just taking it all in.

Finally, Romeo breaks the silence.

"What was the question about the other day? About the gift?"

Well, if I've told him this much, why not?

"The other day I found a gift he'd hidden. It was a necklace; an expensive one."

"Not for you, I presume?"

I shake my head.

"I only wear the necklace my father gave me. Besides, Edward would know better than to spend such an obscene amount of money on me."

"And then?"

"I thought it was for another girl." I pick at my sandwich, still not finished. "I asked him today. Turns out there's a girl he likes. I imagine it's for her."

I look up to see Romeo's jaw had dropped.

"I didn't think there's a girl he'd like."

"Neither did I." I admit.

We spend the rest of lunch in silence. When there's five minutes left, Romeo speaks.

"You know, if losing Edward to another girl is so worrisome, why don't _you_ date him? Wouldn't that solve the problem?"

Believe me Romeo, I've thought of it.

"I'd rather lose Edward to another woman than lose him altogether, which is what would happen if we dated and broke up."

"Bella..." he nudges my leg. "Aren't you assuming too much? There's still a chance you won't break up. A chance you two are the real deal. And from what I know, if your friendship is able to recover from a suicide attempt, wouldn't it be strong enough to overcome a breakup? Don't you believe in your friendship and the depth of it?"

I'm too afraid to answer I've never seen it that way, so I only give him a cold answer and change the subject to our next class.

Sometimes, you simply don't want to think of the possibilities.

When school lets out, the gang crowds around the school gate to watch Romeo leave. We're all cheering him on, and when he pulls out of the parking lot, his face is white but a smile threatens to crack his face in half.

Poor bastard.

Edward corners me before I can leave for work.

"Belle, what's wrong?"

"Huh?"

"You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you alright?" He furrows his brow, obviously concerned. I pat his arm.

"I'm fine. It's just that... I have this feeling of dread right now. I don't know. Like something awful is about to happen."

That doesn't ease his worries.

"Then let's hope it's all in your head."

Nothing happens for the rest of the day. I go to work, get out. I hear from Jazz that Romeo got home safe and sound save for the stupid grin on his face. But why do I feel this way? I wasn't lying when I told Edward I felt something was wrong.

Tuesday morning is a flurry of movement. I wake up ten (precious) minutes late, meaning I get to Edward's ten minutes late as well. I barely have enough time to shove food in my mouth, and Edward simply doesn't have time at all for breakfast. So he gulps down his juice, grabs his pancakes, two apples and we're out.

We speed walk all the way to school. We manage to get there on time, but we're going to be using the 5 minute tolerance policy to get into Math class. We run all the way there.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, fancy seeing you here. What was so important you had to use up four minutes of your allowed five to get here?"

Edward and I are ready for this. Each of us makes our way to our seats. I go towards the vacant seat next to Jazz.

"You see, Mr. Banner. Sometimes, unseen forces-"

"Such as aliens-"

"Or mobs of fangirls-"

"Or an abomination otherwise known as time will play a role in trying to destroy you."

"The only thing that my partner and I could do in order to stop the evil powers from overtaking this school was to fight back."

"So you see? We did it for the school's well being."

Edward and I finish with a grand, angelic smile.

The class is amused to hear one of our famous rants (infamous within the circle of teachers), while Mr. Banner's eyebrow twitches.

"Next time, please leave the job to the school's specialists. We are not so careless as to leave this place unprotected from dangerous forces. That being said, leave the work to professionals and you do your own job: _come to school on time_."

Jazz murmurs _b_ _urn_ beneath his breath, so I kick him in the shin. This is why I love Mr. Banner.

Edward and I both nod in acknowledgement. Well played, young Padawan.

The classes until lunch are a drag. To make matters worse, there was a Biology quiz I'd totally forgotten. Thankfully, Jazz hadn't, so we sat together and every once in a while he'd pass me the answers I didn't know. They were few, though, and Jazz and I had perfected our cheating code over the years. That, and when to look into each other's work without the risk of getting caught.

When I finally go up to the rooftop, I'm exhausted. Because today is not my day, I even forgot money for lunch. Romeo offered to buy for me, but I refused. His answer?

Coming up right now. He bought enough food for three people (meaning me, me and him).

I receive him with open arms.

"Romeo, I don't know whether to punch you or hug you for not listening to me."

He stops approaching me.

"Who said this is for you? I'm on a high carb diet."

I glare fiercely, so he stops pretending.

"So humorless." He mumbles before dropping the food in my lap.

It tastes gloriously.

"So," I begin, chewing. Romeo makes a face, but I don't know why, because it's not like I'm letting him see the food in my mouth. He's been brought up too properly if he doesn't know how to chew and talk without letting the world see inside his mouth. "How did yesterday's date go with May?"

It's like a switch. He doesn't care anymore I'm talking with my mouth full.

So he proceeds to tell me.

They went to an ice cream parlor, they walked around town in their uniforms, they even held hands. They talked about their families and their friends.

"We even talked a bit about you." Romeo admits guiltily.

My mouth drops.

Food for him to see is there, and I don't feel the slightest bit embarrassed.

Swallowing, I fume at him.

"What in this fuck, Marks? _Me_? You don't talk about me with that bitch! You don't talk about me with _anyone_ , period!"

His face darkens.

"I'd appreciate it if you never referred to May that way again. _Ever_."

I blink.

"Fine. But then I get to tell you _all_ the names she's called me since the first grade and up until she transferred. Uncensored." I challenge. Romeo looks surprised, then doubtful, then defiant.

"The past has nothing to do with now. And I assure you, she never said an insulting word about you yesterday." I throw my hands in the air.

"Of course she wouldn't, you blinded fool! Women say or _don't_ say whatever they need to in order to make a date go smoothly!" I cry, exasperated.

"I assume you're including yourself, then?"

" _Of course_ I am. I told Mike my house was under renovation and _that's_ why he couldn't visit me." It's frightening how easy it is to lie just so things don't go south. "I even told Jake that I loved watching ice hockey even though I was ready to gouge my eyes out, just so he wouldn't feel bad he'd taken us to the game!" I shake my head, sighing. "There are necessary lies, Romeo. They're not any less deceiving even if it's for a good cause."

Romeo regards me with a cold gaze.

"May told me you were always jealous of her. Her house, her parents, her clothes, herself. She said she _did_ cast you aside, but because she found less toxic friends. Said you even went as far as stealing her crush from her."

I'm suddenly not hungry.

"And did you believe her?" My voice is quiet, my eyes too serious.

"I don't know. Knowing what I do abut your family life, it's hard to make up my mind."

I stand up. I won't stand for this bullshit.

"Ok. Believe what you will, Romeo. Just know, I didn't tell you about my home life so you could use it against me. And tell you something else, Mr. Know It All. I was friends with her before my father left. My house was bigger, my clothes were nicer and my parents friendlier." I dust off my pants. "Boyfriend stealer, slut, bitch, fugly, tomboy, daughter of a mistress, cock sucker and whore were just a few of the names she called me. The only thing _I_ ever called her? Traitor."

I leave the food on the ground, not even bothering. I'm not in the mood.

I look at him coldly.

"And do you want to know who _exactly_ she thought I stole from her?" My smile is cold, unforgiving. I don't think I was so angry when he all but called me an easy gold digger.

Romeo is looking at the ground.

He looks small, like he's ready to take the burden of the world on his shoulders.

I stop for a second. I rationalize that he's just defending the girl he loves. But aren't I his friend?

I sigh.

"I'm not cruel enough to tell you." I mumble, and a bit of tension leaves Romeo. "But get your priorities straight, Marks. If you keep this up, flaming up because of her and saying hurtful things to me as a result, you're going to lose me as your friend and ally. I expect the same loyalty to me you've always shown Jazz. You were ready to throw away your high school life for your cousin. Why don't you show me half of that loyalty?" I bite my lip, still angry. "I don't want you to throw away your relationship with May because of me. But I stood up for you when Edward was ready to ostracize you, even when we still weren't in the best of terms."

I kick him lightly on the knee.

"Relationships can come and go, but friends don't. I'd hate to lose you because you were blinded by a girl."

I leave the roof, choosing instead to go to the library. I want to get a head start in my homework.

* * *

 **So, who else thinks Bella is catching feelings for Eddykins? And did any of you suspect that Edward had feelings for Bella? Don't lie to me. Not even I knew for like half of the chapters. I actually had another plan (you know, Bella falls for Edward first and has to convince him they're meant to be), but then I figured: _one_ of the two has to be super sure of their feelings, and it sure as hell ain't Bella. So I changed the storyline. That, and I figured it was time to start bringing our two favorite lovebirds together. So, what did you think? Remember this is the last chapter of my posting spree! Leave me some love. :)**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. Our Edward may or may not be the playboy he's made out to be... mwahahaha**


	12. Daddy Dearest

**DISCLAIMER: I'VE GOT NOTHING TO CLAIM.**

* * *

When school lets out, Romeo is waiting for me at the school gates.

"C'mon, I'll take you to your job."

I accept, simply because I don't feel like walking.

I go to Edward before leaving.

"I'll meet you at the car dealership." I tell him, pulling him aside from the dumb dumb _dumb_ cheerleaders (they're dumb and I don't like them – _Jessica_ ).

He shakes his head.

"I'll pick you up. There's time."

He notices my displeased face.

He grabs my cheeks and pulls, in a fake smile. I laugh, simply because he's too silly.

"There. Tell me all about it later." I nod, jog back to Romeo's and let him take me to work.

The silence almost kills me, but I refuse to be the first one to speak.

Bitch deserves to apologize.

"Tell me about May." He says instead, and for a second, I can't believe the gall he has. But then again, this is Romeo, and his apologies suck.

So I tell him.

"We were friends for year and a half. During the first year, we hung out a lot. Played house, played with dolls, went on 'adventures', you know, kid's stuff. During that time, I was girly but not as girly as May. Whenever I went to her house, her mother only tolerated me because of my connection to the Cullens, and because my family was relatively well off. Then my father left. Mrs. Anderson predicted the fall of my family, and started making May hang out less and less with me. She told May she couldn't play with tomboys. I know because the little fool relayed everything she was told. With the months, May took it up another notch and started involving the rest of the girls in class. Then, with the years, May took up the habit of insulting me. She did it when I was in the bathroom or in the lockers changing for gym, so I wouldn't go tattling on her. Technically, she hadn't insulted me, after all. Not in my face, at least. When she left, I was so happy I skipped work and went with the gang to the arcade. That's my history with May Anderson." I look out the window, watching the scenery go by.

"What about... Her crush?" I turn to look at Romeo. He's gripping the steering wheel too hard, obviously frustrated about the answer.

I decide to have mercy on him and not name Edward. To do so, though, I have to lie a bit.

"Hm, the infamous crush. I don't think she's quite forgiven me for that one yet." I hum, looking at the front. "The more she shunned me, the more I hung out with the boys. She didn't like it, because I was getting too close to her favorite boy. Every time she saw me speaking with him she'd get this really angry look in her face, and started going red." I laugh humorlessly. "What that idiot didn't realize was that he liked her, too. But the more she criticized me, the less he liked her. Eventually, he disliked her just as much as me. He thought she was petty." I shrug. "That's how it went."

Romeo's silence is stifling.

"Who is he?" I don't answer. "Who is he, Bella? I need to know."

I shake my head.

"No you don't. You'll do something unnecessary that will get you in trouble. I think it's better to leave you with the benefit of doubt."

"Then tell me, does she still like him?" I remain quiet. " _Damn_ it, Bella, tell me! I need to know!"

I refuse to tell him, though.

"You know, when I started going out with Jake, I still liked Alec. The first few weeks, I still thought of Alec occasionally. Eventually, Jake proved to be amazing enough I was able to let go of my ex. I came to love Jake desperately." I look at Romeo's profile. "Don't you have the confidence you can outshine whoever she likes? I stopped liking a model for a geek. And I _had_ the model. She didn't have _him_. She has you. You have her. Are you going to sulk about something that may or may not be, or are you going to make her fall so in love with you, she'll never think of another guy again?" I challenge.

Romeo's fingers relax slightly on the wheel.

"Why won't you tell me? Do I know him? Does she still like him?"

Is he a rock that he won't listen to reason?

What am I saying. This is Romeo, his namesake known for being an idiot.

"You're my friend. I won't tell you out of spite, and definitely not so you can go blaming others." I glare at him. "I told you to get your act together, didn't I? If you don't start wooing her and having more confidence, you'll lose her, not to another man but due to your own incapability."

"But what can I do to make her like me?"

I think of Edward.

"Be cool. Be yourself. Love her. Make sure she's always interested or laughing." We've arrived at my workplace. "More importantly, don't get weird on her."

I step out of the car.

"Thank you, Bella." I nod, closing the door. He leans forward do he can see me through the open window. "And I'm sorry about lunch."

He speeds away.

Damn that boy.

When Edward picks me up, I tell him about what happened with Romeo.

His eyes darken.

"Boy, Marks is _really_ close to strike three."

Oddly enough, the angrier Edward is the more forgiving I feel.

"Let him be. He has enough torture knowing that May might or not like another guy. Besides, he'd snap if he knew it was you." I bite my lip. "Although I have a feeling he suspects it's you. Or Jamie. You two were my friends in first grade and are currently in the gang. So, who knows?"

Edward shakes his head.

"Really Belle, you're too forgiving."

"No I'm not. Believe me, I'm still brooding about Romeo calling me easy. But, I guess I can forget about it. He's only half forgiven, though. Really, it's like he wants me to hate him."

"Why do you even like him so much?"

Good question.

"He's real. He's bold and he has a certain innocence to him that amuses me. Besides, we understand each other. Not on the same level as you and I, of course, but he probably comes in second. I like the guy. I really wish May doesn't hurt him."

Edward takes a few minutes answering.

"Do you _like_ _him_ like him?"

I give him an amused smile.

"Edward, believe it or not, I'm not a masochist. I wouldn't put myself through the horror of liking someone like Romeo. He's my type, physically, but that's as far as I go. Didn't I tell you the other day what I wanted and didn't want? Romeo is, like, the living opposite." I snort, unbelieving.

"Well, one never knows with you."

True enough.

"We're here, smartass. So shut up and park."

He does as told. He opens my door for me, and together, we go into the dealership.

The feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach doesn't decrease. If anything, it gets stronger with every minute we're there. I have enough time to change into normal clothes, so I don the jeans and long-sleeved shirt I brought.

One big problem arrives, though, when Edward is out on a test drive.

I'm sitting on a bench in front of the agency, waiting for my best friend to get back. I'm playing some forgotten game in my phone, bored out of my mind and anxious as fuck.

Turns out that, when I look up, I find a good reason why I should bolt.

It must be a cruel joke from life.

Not funny, bitch.

Walking towards the dealership, it's Charles Geoffrey Swan.

My father.

Walking with him is a woman and a girl that appears to be fifteen.

Breath leaves me, but years of resentment make me move on autopilot.

Before my father can step on the path that leads to the dealership's front door, I step in front of him.

He was looking at the girl, talking to her with a smile on his face. The woman was looking at the two adoringly.

Then I step in front of them and shatter the moment.

My dad frowns.

"Excuse me? Could you please move over?" the woman requests, frowning as well.

I sneer. I'll deal with my raging emotions later. Now is time to act.

"Well, this is awkward. I never thought that you'd forget me, _Charlie_." I hiss, heart pounding. "Then again, you do have an awful memory. I mean, you forgot to come home for eleven years."

My father is pale, while the girl and woman look confused.

"Who are you? Please leave me and my family alone." My father tries to sidestep me, but I will not give in. I can hear the engine from Edward's test drive car coming closer.

"Let me refresh your mind, shall I? My name is Bella Swan, aged 17, born on a hot September 2nd. My father is called Charles Geoffrey Swan, and my mother is called Renée Swan, née Higginbotham. When I was six years old, my bastard of a father left, leaving me only this shitty piece of necklace. Ring a bell, Charlie? Sorry, _dad_?"

"Charlie, what is this kid talking about?" the woman demands, looking between her husband and me. The girl doesn't know what to do.

Vaguely, I register Edward arriving.

"I don't know. I've never seen this girl in my life."

I smile coldly.

"Oh, I know. Of course you've never seen _me_. You've seen the me of eleven years ago."

My father is starting to grow angry.

"Tasha, take Helen with you inside. I'll be right over."

Despite her worried look, Tasha does as told. She shoots me a scared look, and hurries her daughter in just in time. Why? Edward arrives exactly then.

"Belle, what's wrong? Who-" Edward stops mid sentence, when he registers the face of the man standing before me.

" _You_." Hatred, resentment, and outrage are all poured out in that one word. The salesman gets that maybe he should retire, so he hurries back into the dealership. I have a feeling Edward will have to acquire his car elsewhere.

My father stares calmly at both of us.

"I see you're still hanging out with boys, Isabella. Is he new?" he squints, getting a better look at my best friend. "No, you're not. You're Esme's boy, aren't you? What was your name, Edwin?"

I scoff.

"Don't pretend, asshole. You very well know his name is Edward."

My father regards me coldly.

"What are you doing here, Isabella? It's a school night, and yet you're hanging out in car dealerships? I knew your mother was irresponsible, but this is too much."

My laugh is hysterical.

"Oh, that's rich. Are you trying to act like a father?" I glower. I cross my arms, standing tall. "Calling mom irresponsible. At least she didn't have a second family like you!" I accuse, absolutely furious at him insulting my mother.

My father's face is stony.

"Don't you get it, Isabella? I don't care about either of you. You can tell me whatever you like, call me whatever you like, but I have no attachment to you or your mother. So stop this. Drive back to your town, where you're supposed to be."

The anger is threatening to choke me, make me blind. I'm restraining Edward from punching him. I have a few things left to say.

"So, you don't care about what I tell you? Alright. Then I'll talk, and you'll listen. And you won't care, so you won't feel guilty. Yet I'll tell you anyways, so I can get this burden off my chest." I sneer, and my father makes no move to leave. So I continue.

"Mom became an alcoholic after you left. She drank and drank, spending all our savings in alcohol. We were short on food, water, electricity, and heat. She made an effort up until I was fifteen to maintain our shitty house in a shitty neighborhood. Then I could get jobs, and she started spending all the money away. A month ago, I had the sense to get emancipated. I live for myself now and send some money her way. You following me, _dad_?" I sneer, angrier still at seeing his impassive face.

"Go on, Isabella. If it'll make you feel better."

My volume keeps getting louder.

"Because of you, I'm like this! I fear every day those I love are going to leave me! Every single fucking day, I wonder who is going to leave me next! I wonder who is going to make me cry this time, who is going to throw me off the edge!" My pitch is nearing hysterical, and I won't lower it. His wife and daughter -my half sister- might hear me, but I don't give a shit. I pull up my sleeves. I show him my scars, and the reaction I get is wide, terrified eyes. He gives half a step forward and raises lightly a hand. Like he hurts because of my pain. Then he schools his features and returns to his original position. "That's right. I tried to kill myself a few months ago. You know why? My boyfriend up and left much in the same way you did! He left me with a _text_! How is that different to the necklace _you_ left me?" I show him my collarbone, where the necklace is resting. He looks at it, no longer having the scared expression from before.

"I'd like that necklace back. It belonged to my mother, and I'd like Helen to have it."

"I want to punch him." Edward mutters to me, eyes raging.

All I can do is give my father a bitter smile.

"You want this piece of crap? Ok. You can have it." I rip it off my neck. I step towards him, and he holds out his hand. But I don't give it to him. I throw my arm back, and with practice from playing baseball, I send the necklace as far as I can. My father is bewildered. "I never said I'd give it to you. Find it. It's yours."

He looks angry.

"Do you know how much that cost?"

"You're right. I should have sold it at a pawnshop. My mistake." I sneer. I'm so close, I can smell his aftershave. He smells like he used to.

"You can try to make me feel as guilty as you want, but I won't. I never loved you, Isabella. Not you or your mother. I married Renée because I got her pregnant, and my mother would have none of me unless I did." My father looks at me with cold eyes. "I did my best to love the both of you, but I could never bring myself to. And now you're trying to ruin the best things that have ever happened to me." He points behind me, where his wife and daughter are obviously waiting.

"Belle, let me-" I hold off Edward.

I give my father a very cold, ruthless look.

"Oh, I'm not trying to ruin your happiness. I want to _obliterate_ it. I want to make sure you go through half the hell I've gone through." My tone takes on a deadly note, and now I'm stepping closer to my father. "For years I held hope that you had good reasons for leaving. Maybe to protect us, I imagined in my twisted fantasy. With the years, I realized one thing: you're just a bastard."

Age had been kind to my father. His brown eyes were identical to mine, and a few gray streaks adorned his hair. Wrinkles had barely made it in his face.

It pisses me off.

"Isabella, stop this. You're making a fool of yourself. Nothing you can say will change my mind."

I laugh bitterly.

"No, of course not. Not you, unfeeling serpent that you are."

"I make no apologies for who I am nor how I feel."

"You're a bastard." I tell him bluntly. "And I hope my face haunts you every day of your life. I hope that you feel like my suicide attempt was your fault, because it is. And I hope you know there is no redemption for what you did. I hope you know you destroyed lives, and I hope karma gets you sooner rather than later. I hope your wife leaves you and your daughter never talks to you again."

He has a poker face; the same as mine.

I don't give him the pleasure of seeing me cry.

Instead, I choose to shock him. I close the distance between us and hug him.

"And despite all that, I have something to tell you. I love you, dad. I hate you, and yet I'm happy I get to tell you all this." I hug him tighter, and I can feel the surprise radiating off of him. "I love you, dad. I hope these words haunt you forever."

Then I knee him in the balls. He doubles over, and I knee him in the face. He doesn't know where to hold, and I can hear his wife screaming for help.

"It would seem like those karate lessons you started paying for paid off."

Then I look at Edward and step aside.

My best friend is a flurry of movement.

He approaches quickly. He knees my father in the stomach, and without letting him recover, he punches his nose. Blood comes out, and I've never been so happy to see so much red. Edward delivers two more punches to the face, an elbow to the ribs and I cooperate by kicking him in the shin. I can hear a sickening crack that makes me more satisfied than it should have.

Shouts can be heard.

"Edward, start the car." My best friend obeys.

To my father, I lean down and whisper in his ear.

"Don't call the cops, or I'll be sure to hunt your family down and tell them how much of a monster you are. Reassure them I really _am_ your daughter. You can pass me off as a lunatic now. Better grab that chance." I pat his head. I kiss his cheek. "Bye, dad. Have a horrible life."

Then I run to Edward's car, and we get out of there as though we just committed murder.

I tell Edward to drive me to his house. Logically, most people would want to be alone. But I can do that with him. I can scream and shout in his house, because it is mine as well. And truly, if you're just told you were never loved, your first instinct would be to surround yourself with as much love as possible.

I don't cry the whole ride. I'm too mad, too hurt, too... disappointed in order to.

My neck feels bare. I feel naked without it. I feel vulnerable. I can still feel the weight of the necklace in my hand, and how quickly it disappeared once I'd thrown it.

"Belle?" Edward tries, hesitantly, to hold my hand.

I almost break it with how tight I grip it, but Edward makes no indication of pain.

"He never loved me. Not me or my mother. He never did." And I can hear how heartbroken my voice is.

Edward grips my hand even harder.

"I'm sorry, Belle. I wish I could carry your pain for you. That's all I can say."

He knows what to say. He knows comforting words will not work on me, not now. He knows I need space. Space to talk, space to think. Comforting words will come later.

We get to his house with amazing speed. Surprising, because Aunt Esme will know he stepped on the gas of her car when he had specific instructions not to speed. She'll forgive him for the need to refill the gas when she hears of today, though, so I don't worry too much about that.

When we get to his house, God has mercy on me because neither Aunt Esme nor Uncle Carlisle is home. Tanya is out, possibly doing a school project.

We head straight to Edward's room, wasting no time.

Just like that, it's like a dam breaks. There's no warning, no eye watering. Suddenly, majestically, I burst into tears. I'm probably the ugliest crier out there, and the loudest.

But Edward says nothing.

He simply guides me to his bed, where he sits me down. He kneels in front of me, holds my hands, and waits for me to cry it out.

I might cry for an hour. I only stop because I start getting a headache, but I could've gone on for quite a while. Edward, amazing friend that he is, just watches me cry, rubbing my hands and leg when I cry too hard. When I start hiccupping, Edward rises to sit on the bed next to me. He hugs me, lets me get his shirt full of snot and tears. I cling to my lifeline, more grateful for Edward now than ever.

Eventually, my sobs and hiccups quiet down. Edward is lying down now, just holding me. He rubs my back, stays quiet and lets me do my own thing. I love how he understands me.

When I'm quiet, Edward leans back to make sure I'm not asleep. I blink up at him, eyes swollen and red. He wipes away my tears, holding my face like it'll break.

"You were pretty badass out there." Is the first thing he says, and I can't help it. I bark out a laugh. He knows me. Knows I need to start the seriousness.

"Thanks. I wanted to say a lot more, but I guess I got out the essentials." He puts an arm around me, and I lay my head down on his chest. "Edward... thank you. I wouldn't have wanted to go through that with anyone other than you."

He squeezes me.

"I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to be there for you but me, either. Nobody else would have risked jail the way I did, either." We laugh, then flinch, wondering if my father will press charges. Probably not.

I take about half an hour calming down, and by the time I start talking, I've stopped sniffling and my headache has gone away. The sun is completely gone by now, too, and I know Edward's family will be here anytime.

So I tell Edward what I feel.

"I'm glad we beat him up. Really glad, actually. I don't think I'd be this sane if we hadn't." I begin by confessing, making Edward laugh. "The moment I saw my father, I connected the dots in five seconds flat. There was a woman and a girl that looked a bit like me. Obviously, his daughter and wife. The daughter, Helen, is about my age. Younger, but certainly not six years younger. The only plausible answer was that my father had cheated on mom and built another family."

"Bastard."

"I'm torn between feeling furious, sad and hurt. Furious because he's an asshole and I've cried too much over that man. Sad, because he broke my mother and me. And hurt, because he never loved me." My heart hurts, too. "Actually, I'm not quite sure he never loved me and my mother. He liked us enough to linger for six years, right? We must've meant _something_ to him." I swallow. "I won't delude myself in thinking it was love or anything like that. He probably had a sense of duty. But I _felt_ loved, and that was enough."

"Your conclusion?"

"I feel stupid. Stupid for pining, stupid for keeping that suffocating necklace in the hopes that maybe, one day, he'd come back for it and explain things to me. And now, more than ever, I want to help my mom move on from that man. She's suffered too long. I've hated him more than half my life, and now I just feel pity. He's so empty, so cold... It was probably the better choice in the end for him to leave. I've turned out fine despite mom's mistakes. If we'd added to that my father's, it would've been hell."

"You'll visit her soon." Edward promises. He rubs my arm. "I promise you probably broke his leg and at least a rib."

I hope so.

We laugh at ourselves.

"I have three things to say." Edward declares, looking at the ceiling.

"Hit me."

"First: that man is an asshole and the only thing he ever did right was sire you." Amen. "Second; he may or may not have loved you, but I can tell you of five people who undoubtedly do: mom, dad, Tan, your mom and myself. Then we start adding the gang, people you've charmed, etc. You are not unloved by any means, so don't even dare think among those lines. You feel me?"

I nod; how does he anticipate my feelings?

"And third. I have a secret I need to come clean about." Edward lets go of me, sitting up. "I was planning on telling you later this week, but now's as good a time as any."

I sit up as well.

On one hand I can't believe Edward kept something from me. On the other, I've felt it. Him, hiding something. So I'm not surprised. Besides, with how much I've kept from him, I'd be a hypocrite if I got angry.

Edward shuffles away, and searches in his desk's drawers for something. After a bit, he comes up with it.

The Tiffany's box.

I wait with baited breath. For once, I don't know what he's thinking and what his intentions are.

His face looks unreadable as he sits in front of me. Slowly, he opens the box, and I see the same thing I saw the other day. A beautiful, small, black glass angel.

"What's this?" I ask, truly curious, but dreading the answer at the same time.

" _That_ day, when you called me," uh-oh, "I told you I was with the diner girl. Said I couldn't leave because I'd lose the girl." Edward swallows. I don't get this. Is he going to tell me he was with the girl he likes? Fear grips my heart.

"Did you lie?" I ask quietly.

Edward nods.

"I was actually in the mall, searching for a necklace. This one. I found it two stores after you called." Edward huffs, frustrated. He runs his fingers through his hair. "I was so stupid. Your birthday was coming up, and I wanted to get you something pretty so you'd forget Jake. I wanted to try and get that blasted necklace off of you once and for all, too, and replace it with something with a happy memory. I thought one night without me would be alright. What I told you was true, though; I was in a sort of high over his departure, and I didn't think… I wanted it to be a surprise. I knew you'd refuse to take the necklace if you knew beforehand, but maybe, _maybe_ , you'd take it if I'd already bought it. So I said a lie you'd believe. I thought I'd apologize later. I never thought..."

Cracking, I tell Edward what I told Romeo the other day about that night. I ease the guilt inside of me, finally. Edward is appalled, worried and hurt. He gets over it quickly, but we're thinking the same thing: if we'd been straight with each other from the start, this wouldn't have happened.

I eye the necklace.

"Is it still... For me?"

The calm I feel inside of me is wonderful. The frantic heartbeat I'd felt at the thought of Edward giving it to another girl finally dies down. Edward is still mine.

"Turn around. I'll put it on for you."

Once he's done, I touch the angel. The weight feels right against my skin.

I cock my head to the side.

"Hey Tony... Why is the angel black?"

His smile is mischievous.

"Cause you're not just a regular angel. You're a _fallen_ angel." My eyebrows rise in surprise. "They followed Lucifer. You follow _me_."

I howl with laughter.

When I finally stop, I give Edward a tight hug. I feel warm and fuzzy inside, despite today's happenings.

"Thanks, Tony. It's the second best gift anyone's ever given me." I grin, waiting for his outburst.

"Wait, what? Don't tell me Müller gave you something better?"

I shake my head against his chest.

"Then what is the best gift?"

I whisper in his ear.

You.

"Food."

He throws me on the bed and starts tickling me.

A few minutes later, he's lying on top of me, smothering the life out of me.

"Edward." I mumble against his chest, where my face is plastered.

"Hm?" He hums, probably happy with the fact that he can breathe while I can't. I turn my face around as much as I can so I'm able to speak.

"Can you take me home? So much has been going on, and I just want to be alone. Think things over, you know."

Edward considers it.

"Will you go to school tomorrow?" I shake my head. "Fine, I'll take you. But the moment you start having ugly thoughts I want you to call me. That, and I'll visit you after school. Deal?"

I sigh and agree.

Wednesday morning is spent in bed. I toss and turn all night, ending in me sleeping in due to how tired I am. Answers elude me and feelings are mixed, so a headache threatens to break apart my head.

On one hand, I think about my father. I'd be lying if I said I never considered the possibility of him not loving us, but I thought it wasn't likely. Obviously, I'd been very wrong. It hurts, too, that he would look so happy with a wife and daughter that aren't my mom and me. In some way, though, I appreciate his coldness. If he'd been warm and loving, his betrayal would've been unbearable for me. If he'd been the father I remembered, I'd be too bitter now, angry beyond belief. I would've mourned the loss, thought of the family I had lost. As it is, his aloofness made me realize that, with the years, he wouldn't have been the father I remember. He would've grown to hate me. And I rather live with the happy memories and know he doesn't love me, rather than have painful memories and know he hates me.

So I guess, in a way, I'm thankful that he was such an asshole.

Did he do it on purpose? I wonder.

On the other hand, my mind is filled with thoughts of Edward. I didn't take the necklace off to sleep, and the comfortable weight against my chest makes me feel safe. The knowledge that Edward thought of me so deeply that he bought me a black angel makes me feel happy, giddy almost. Knowing, too, that it wasn't for the girl he likes give me an unexpected sense of peace.

 _"I'd rather lose Edward to another woman than lose him altogether, which is what would happen if we dated and broke up."_

That's what I told Romeo when he asked if I'd consider dating Edward.

Truthfully, I'm not as oblivious as I seem. I've always known the risk of relying on Edward so much. The risk of falling in love with him.

Growing up, Edward was my playmate. He was my friend. Up until the first grade, he was only my best friend, but nothing else. Then his role changed, and he became my savior. With every year that went by, my need for him increased. My need to be around Edward. I won't say that Mike, Alec or Jake were distractions. That would be lying, because I had loved each man without another guy in my heart. And yet sometimes, when my heart thought my brain wouldn't notice, it'd give an unexpected thump around my best friend. It would beat faster, and then resume normal pace. I thought it was normal. I thought it didn't merit a second thought.

With the years, too, I started caring more about Edward's conquests. Not jealous or obsessed, but... I _cared_. I started hanging onto negative thoughts of the women he dated (Jessica deserves my hate though). I wanted to know, I wanted him not to conquer women.

I'm faced with the most horrifying thought, as I lay down in bed:

Am I in love with Edward Anthony Cullen?

For a few hours, I consider seriously my predicament. This is the kind of thing one doesn't take lightly. It's the type of problem one does their best to avoid, not because it's hard, but because it's scary.

I think of the man in question.

Edward has always been there. Growing up, his face is one of the first that came to mind. Cheerful green eyes would greet me first when I went to visit the Cullens with my mom and dad. Edward would grab my hand and run with me to the backyard, where he had a swing and a tree house (nowadays it's too small for us to use). He never went through the stupid little boys' phase of thinking girls have cooties. He told me I had no such thing, that I felt clean and just as I always had.

"If I'm not infected yet, it means I'm immune, right? So, let's play!"

Fridays and Saturdays would be spent in his house, playing happily. We'd leave the adults to talk, and would jump and roll in the mud until the sun went down. Sometimes, if we behaved especially well, my dad would take us to the ice cream parlor. Back then, when I still lived in a nice house, Edward would come to my house once a week, and we'd play with all the toys I couldn't take to his house.

Then my father left. I spent more time than ever at his house. Uncle Carlisle would be the one to take us out for ice cream every once in a while, but most of the time he'd be too busy for that, and Aunt Esme had to do chores and was too flustered to take two children out.

Edward was my rock during that time. He'd obviously been informed of my father's departure, so he never asked where my dad was. He simply gripped my hand harder and doubled his efforts to make me laugh. Within a few months, he'd made my world bright again, even if he couldn't do anything about my rapidly deteriorating life at home. But I appreciated the normalcy provided to me in his house. Up until a few weeks ago, it was my only safe haven.

As we grew up, I started appreciating Edward as more than just my favorite playmate. He was my partner in crime. Whenever I wanted to play pranks on someone, all I had to do was ask Edward "Ready?" and we'd be on our way. When one of us got caught, the other one took the blame, or both, if the adult didn't believe us.

When Edward started becoming really popular, we were in fifth grade. He was surrounded by the cool kids, and by then, Jamie wasn't that popular yet. Jamie and I hung out with the normal kids, or the sporty kids, smiling whenever Edward joined us but letting him go with ease.

I still remember the day my bond with Edward was strengthened.

* * *

 _"Hey, Belle, what are you doing?" Edward came up to me, hair disheveled and green eyes bright. He was breathing heavily, like he'd just ran a marathon._

 _I kept my hands under the water._

 _"Cleaning my hands." I showed him my scraped palms, taking one out from beneath the water. It was caked in dirt and blood, and my best friend gaped. "I fell while we were playing soccer. Tom pushed me."_

 _His face immediately became furious._

 _"Didn't his mom teach him not to hit girls?" he looked around, as though he could find Tom right then and show him what his mother had failed to._

 _"Edward, it's alright. It's just a game."_

 _"No, it's not if you get hurt! You might be tougher than most girls, but you're still a_ girl _, Belle. Let me talk to him." He made a move to leave, but I grabbed his arm. My hand stained his skin, but he didn't care too much. We'd gotten each other's blood splattered on ourselves enough times to not find it disgusting anymore._

 _"Edward. I'm serious, don't." I glared, tightening my grip on his bare arm. "You might have a lot of friends nowadays, and that's cool with me. But if you go over there making a scene, Tom and the rest won't let me play with them anymore. They'll be too scared of you."_

 _His eyes softened._

 _"I'm sorry, Belle, have you been lonely? It wasn't my intention. Do you want to come hang out with me?"_

 _I shook my head._

 _"It's your crowd. I have mine. We run in different circles." Hesitantly, I let go of his arm. "Just... make sure to make some time for me every once in a while, ok?"_

 _Edward nodded profusely._

 _"Of course. As a matter of fact, let's make a promise, 'kay?" he held out his pinky, and without thinking about it, I hooked mine with his. "Don't cry, Belle." startled, I wiped my face. It was true; I'd been crying, too overwhelmed with emotion. I didn't want to lose Edward to popular. "I promise you and I will spend every Halloween together. And you'll never have to worry about matching with someone. You'll match with me." I nodded, smiling. Halloween was coming up, and I thought we wouldn't match this year. "We'll reserve birthdays and eating competitions for each other, too, alright? I promise not to do either with anyone else but you. How about that?" His smile was proud. "This way, both of us know we'll never stop hanging out with each other. And if we can't hang out much, we have these three events where we'll definitely see the other. Pinky promise?"_

 _Grinning, we promised._

* * *

After that day, our dynamics changed. We trusted each other unconditionally to tell the other what was on our minds. I was also happy at being recognized as a girl, so from then on, I stopped trying to be a boy but simply acted like myself. I was still a tomboy, but I got hurt less frequently and stopped trying to cut my hair off.

Edward is a complex being, just like any other human. He cares for me more than anyone else, he puts me above anything and everything, he hears me when I don't want to talk. He never expects anything from me in return for his kindness, he understands me better than anyone else. He's funny, reliable and wild. His intelligence is wasted on him, who only uses it to device the next witty comment or to scrape by classes, saved by the exams.

Yet I know he has an overprotective personality. Even though he never tells me what to do, I can see it in his face that he wants to. He's opinionated, a late riser, lazy and a womanizer. I don't know how many women he's slept with, and I'm afraid to know. He loves going to parties, where I find them annoying. He loves the violin, but has sworn me to secrecy, too embarrassed to admit he plays an instrument that's not electric guitar. He cares about what people think of him to an unhealthy degree. More often than not, he moves at his own hurried pace, leaving me behind only to jog back to get me.

I remember what I told Edward I wanted in a man.

I want laughter, to be treated like a woman, to be treasured, passion and excitement. I don't want a man who lives too much in the present; no imagination or rarely prioritizing me.

And hasn't Edward shown me that exactly?

He makes me laugh every day, even when I feel like shit. He was the first boy to treat me like a girl, who treated me as a queen. There's never a dull moment between us, always arguing, debating and heating up at the slightest provocation, and yet making up without much fuss. Edward knows where he's going in the future. He doesn't spend too much time worrying about what will or won't happen, but he has hopes for at least the next five years. He's like me, unable to play at aloofness and always displaying our true emotions on our faces. It's obvious to me I'm the number one girl in his life. I know he puts me above everyone and anything, without stopping his own life. He always does what he wants, but he considers me. He thinks about me.

So isn't he the perfect man for me, at least in theory?

No, he's more than perfect just in theory. Edward is the only man I can imagine growing old with. Even when I was with Jake, looking too far into the future was hard. I never could imagine being old and gray with Jake. But with Edward, it's always been a given for me. I've always known we'll be together until we die.

But could loving him take away from me that security? If I fall in love with Edward, will I doom our friendship?

No, not _if_. I know, deep down, I've loved Edward as more than a friend for quite some time. That love has been steadily growing, halted only by my relationships. But if Mike, Alec and Jake hadn't come along, I'd probably be too in love with Edward to act nonchalantly.

It's only a matter of time until I'm unable to think of a partner that isn't Edward.

My relationship with Jake had been intense. But it started that way. It wasn't that we knew each other and grew to love the other; we simply liked what the other had to offer. Yet we didn't know the other's faults quite thoroughly. I can confidently say Edward and I know everything about the other, good or bad.

If I give myself the chance to fall for Edward, it will be the kind of relationship that will last forever or will be doomed from day one.

That isn't even considering Edward's crush. Whoever she is, she must be seriously amazing to make Edward fall in love with her. That, or absurdly pretty. And if I'm honest, I have no confidence as a romantic prospect in Edward's eyes. Does he think I'm too troublesome? Does he not find me pretty enough? Am I even his type at all?

More importantly, if we ever did get together, would he stop his womanizing ways?

I remember how excited he'd get, telling me of the women he'd slept with. He'd show off his sexual prowess, to points where I'd find it unbelievable he'd be able to do that. After one particularly disgusting visual, I'd asked Edward to never tell me again of his girls.

 _"I get it that you're a highly sexual being. And believe me, that's fine. But_ please _, Edward, I don't want to know how many women you've slept with or who's been the best lay. So keep those details to yourself, out of respect for them and me."_

Yeah, Edward had been disappointed. However, I think he understood if he spoke any more my respect for him would decrease exponentially.

Can he let go of that lifestyle?

With a start, I realize what I'm doing. Thinking of Edward as a potential love candidate is dangerous but the fact that I'm doing so means I don't find the idea displeasing. And based on the butterflies in my stomach, I'd say I find it more than appealing.

I find the idea of loving Edward... thrilling.

Scary, but thrilling nonetheless.

I have breakfast at around noon. I'm pondering on my issues for such a long time that I even miss meals, which is odd for me. It means that I'm way too consumed in this dilemma.

Around three, a knock interrupts my musings. I've showered, but didn't bother changing into nice clothes. I just threw on sweat pants, a tank top, socks and a hoodie, due to the cold. Winter is setting in with more strength each passing day, and it wouldn't be weird if I got sick one of these days.

I open the front door, go down the stairs and open the door leading to the street. Speak of the devil. Edward is waiting with a paper bag in his hands. When he sees me, he smiles.

"Yo, Bells, you look well." He raises the bag. "Soup? I also have hot chocolate." He says with a taunting voice. Damn, he knows me well. The colder the season gets, the more I crave steaming hot things.

"I guess you can come in." I step aside, then close the door behind him. We go up the flight of stairs, me trying to grab the bag and Edward getting it away from me.

In my apartment, Edward looks around.

"You know, this is the first time I've been here." He muses, setting down the bag in my coffee table.

It's a small place, but not too shabby for being my very own place. Opening the door, you get the living room. To the right is the open kitchen, which has a door to the laundry room, to the front is a guest's restroom and to the left is my bedroom. Adjoined to my bedroom is my bathroom, and adjoined to that is a walk in closet. Useless, because I don't have that much clothes. So I use it as storage for my obscene amount of books.

"It's nice and cozy." Edward compliments, and I know he means it.

"Thanks." I grin, and sit down on the couch. The advantage of living here is it also came with furniture. Not much; a coffee table, a couch and a love seat, besides the bed and nightstand in my room. But since I live by myself, it's not like I need much else.

He sits down on the other end of the couch, and reaching over, he grabs our hot chocolates and hands me one.

Sighing contentedly, I burn my tongue off gulping down a fourth of it.

"I have to admit, you look better than I thought you would." Edward confesses, being more careful with his beverage. He can't stand the heat like I can.

I blink.

I've been so worried about him, I've hardly thought at all about my own father.

"Oh." I purse my lips, frowning. "Well, I can't wallow _too_ much about that. After all, I always knew him not loving me was a possibility." I shrug. "I'm actually sort of glad he left. I just wish he'd either done so sooner or in a better way. Like, for instance, telling my mother in advance he was leaving her and why."

Edward nods, considering my words.

"You're better off without him, Belle." He says, then after some thought, continues. "Are you planning on telling your mother?"

I sip at my chocolate.

"I don't know. On one hand, it might free her. Make her see what an asshole he really is. On the other hand, it just might be the thing to push her over the edge."

Edward nods in understanding.

"You don't have to tell her he's married. Just tell her he behaved like a jackass. Make a lie. It might also be the thing to set her straight."

"I know. I'm just... worried. What if she takes it badly? I can't bring her here to watch over her. I came here to escape from her. If she comes, I have a feeling she'll mess up my life here. But what else _could_ I do?"

"When's the last time you saw her?" Edward asks, and I count in my head.

"Since I got emancipated. What's that, a month or so?" I shrug. "Why?"

"Maybe she's gotten much better. Who knows? Maybe she's strong enough now."

"I hope to God you're right."

We change the subject after a few more minutes.

"Anything happen today?" I ask, curious. I rarely miss school. Because of that, I'm not used to not finding out everything right away. Edward bobs his head to the sides.

"Not much. I told the gang you weren't feeling well. I figured you'd tell them on your own that you saw your father again." He drinks a bit from his chocolate. "Romeo looked particularly worried. Any idea why?"

"He might think I was too mad to see him today or something."

"I don't get what you like about him. He's such an asshole, Belle."

I can't refute that.

"But he can be a _nice_ asshole." I defend, but my best friend has a disbelieving face.

We fall silent.

"Hey, Edward."

"What's up?"

I shift to get a better look at him. I stare. He glances up from his cup, notices my stare and sighs.

He knows.

"She doesn't like me, Bella. I know you're curious, but can't I have this one thing to myself? You've had a whole life without me. Can't I have a piece of me private?"

I slowly relent.

"Fine. I won't ask who she is, then. But I do want to know one thing." Edward slowly nods, probably thinking of his retort. "Is she special?"

He stays silent.

"Would you give up your harem for her?" Hesitantly, he nods. I'm surprised, and his answer leads me to my next question. "Do you love her?"

His blush tells me.

Something inside of me breaks. I'm not sure what, only that it hurts. I'm bleeding inside, some unknown part screaming in pain. Is it my heart? My pride?

I don't know. All I know is what I've been denying all my life: I'm in love with Edward Anthony Cullen.

Throat raw, I sip at my coffee. I tell myself not to cry. Then I force a grimace, but not the kind of pained grimace I wish I could make.

"It's not May, is it?" laughing, he shakes his head. I breathe an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"Then love away."

"How about you, Belle? Any guy for you?"

I give him a mischievous smile. A few days ago, I could've said nobody and been truthful.

"Well, sir, why would I give you details if you refuse to give me?"

Edward's glare tells me he's not amused.

"Fine. Then the same questions go for you." He clears his throat. "Is he special?"

Flushing, I nod. His surprise is palpable.

"Would you let him take care of you?" I feel the necklace he gave me burning against my chest. Would I let you, Edward? Of course I would, so I nod. You're the only man I would ever let treat me like a china doll that must be pampered.

Edward blinks.

"Do you love him?"

Grinning like a fool, I stare down at my cup and finish off my hot chocolate. On to my soup, then. I can't believe it's been only a few minutes since my realization but already I feel giddy at the prospect of loving him.

A pregnant pause follows.

"It's not Black or Romeo, right?" Laughing, I shake my head.

"And that's all you'll ever get out of me, Mr. Cullen."

Edward is frowning. He has his head cocked, index finger tracing the rim of his cup. He's troubled by what I told him.

"You aren't making this up, are you?" I shake my head. "Do I know him?"

"Same question goes to you."

"Yeah, you know her."

"You know him. Probably better than you imagine." I shrug. "You know he's important to me."

Edward's silence tells me he's thinking about it hard.

I push my feet out, tucking my toes under his ass.

"You wanna spend the night?"

Edward's grin is infectious.

"It's been a while since I've spent the night at your place. It's so weird."

It is. Bittersweet, too.

We had so much fun.

Of course, I know there's two sides to his ready answer. One is nostalgia and simple liking. The other is to check I don't do anything stupid. Like, say, try to commit suicide. Again.

I've made my bed, now I have to lie in it.

We goof around for the rest of the day. At one point, he remembers to give me today's homework. 'One point' being at around eight, when I'm too tired to think and would have appreciated having the assignments about four hours earlier. I spend the next two hours doing the shit I should've done, and during that time Edward spends half the time doing his own homework and half the time nodding off while reading an assigned book.

At around ten, I'm finally done.

"Hey, Belle, guess what?" Edward and I are lying next to each other, looking up at the ceiling with the lights out.

I grunt to acknowledge him.

"I found a job you might like. I've been thinking of how much time you dedicate to working, and couldn't help but wonder if there was something else you could do that earned you more money and was less time consuming."

"I'm listening."

"You love cleaning. I mean, you always do it at my house even though nobody tells you to." True. I have a feeling I know where this is going. "It just so happens my dad's friend's company is in need of one more janitor. The pay is $11 an hour, and it's from four to eleven, Monday through Thursday. Dad said he could talk to his friend, if you're interested."

I make a quick sum of money. If I were to take that job, I could drop tutoring, which pays lousily, anyways. I could also drop the job at the bookstore, which is very far away, and then take up the job at the restaurant Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Thursdays we get out of school at 12, so I could do a three-hour shift, and Fridays and Saturdays I do the regular six-hour shift. I know Ran, my boss, has been short on hands Thursdays, and he'll willingly take me. Besides, not to brag or anything, but I'm good at drawing in good tips.

Really, I hardly think about the question.

"Yes, please."

Edward is quiet.

"Belle, is it hard?"

"Is what hard?"

"Living like this. Worried about money and making ends meet. Aren't you tired? Don't you hate the hand life dealt you?"

I'm surprised by his question.

"The hand life dealt me is tough, that's true enough. But I'm alive, aren't I? I'm healthy as a horse. I'll live to see my grandchildren have kids. How many people can say they don't worry about their weight, or how many people have cancer? How many kids wish they could have run away the same way I did? I'm lucky. I have a mother who loves me, an extended family that means the world to me and friends that I treasure. I can make ends meet. Life will get even better for me." I pause, considering my next words. "I'm a happy person, Edward. I could choose to wallow, but wouldn't that be pitiful? I rather be looked at with pride than pity. Wouldn't you?"

He crushes me in a hug.

"If you ever need help, tell me. Understand?"

Smiling, I fall asleep after answering.

"Yes, dear."

* * *

 **Ok, so I thought about giving you a hint last chapter about Charlie's appearance, but then I forgot. As you can see, Charlie is very OOC, although I think it's best for Bella this way. I think that sometimes, a harsh rejection is the kinder one; sometimes kindness can make you linger, on and on, over what might've been. Charlie was honest, harsh, and left no doubt in Bella's mind that she was better off without him.**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. I warn you: there's lime in the next chapter. :p If you don't like kinky, whatcha doin' here? Also, leave me some love.**


	13. Lil' White Lies

**DISCLAIMER: I'M JUST A GIRL ON VACATIONS WITH TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS.**

 **P.S. WARNIIIIING: There's lime. Now, it was supposed to be a lot more graphic, but due to my fear of not knowing when kinky is _too_ kinky, I decided to tone it down a bit. This isn't a smut story, but we're getting to have a few more lemons. Leave me a comment and tell me if you're pro-graphic lemons, or if you'd rather I keep it a bit cleaner (although sex is inevitable). Now, read on. :)**

* * *

I wake up with a start.

The sky is still dark, and seeing the clock on my nightstand, it says there are two hours before I have to wake up. My back is against Edward's chest, and his arms around me are tight. But unlike usual, one of his hands is gripping my bare boob tightly, thanks to the little protection tank tops provide. I feel something poking my ass, and I blush. My heartbeat speeds up. My breathing is shallow.

I always knew Edward had active dreams. I also knew that, sometimes, he used my body to get off. Sometimes, his boxers would be a little damp, my boobs would be out in the open or his hand would be underneath my shirt. I blew it off, knowing it was a guy thing.

This time, though, there's been a new development. The hand not gripping my boob has crept below. _Way_ below and under. Blushing, I realize what woke me up. It's this. Edward's hand went under my sweats and underwear, and is cupping me. I blush harder. His grip is just as tight as the one he has on my boob.

Suddenly, Edward moves. His grip on my boob gets tighter, his hips grind against my ass and the hand cupping me slips a bit.

Gasping, pleasure fills me.

"Edward..." I say breathily, just a whisper.

He makes no more moves.

Heart pounding, I start rocking against him, feeling how the friction creates a delicious sensation.

How long do we go on like that? Five minutes? Twenty? All I know is that, suddenly, his fingers stiffen. I feel warmth behind me. I moan with pleasure, coming down from my high too.

I take his hand out from below and place it around me instead. I pull my shirt up so he's at least gripping my clothed boob.

Sighing, I at least acknowledge one fact.

I'm in love with my best friend.

Morning comes without much fuss. I roll away to slap the alarm clock off, hopefully not making him notice the mess in my own shorts.

"Belle?" He mumbles.

"You can keep sleeping for twenty minutes. I'll shower first."

His opposition is non-existent.

Blushing as I shower, I try washing off the dirtiness. I can't believe I'd do something like that. What if he'd woken up? What if he _was_ awake? The thought horrifies me.

More than anything, I can't believe I love Edward.

Edward, who once ate ten large pizzas with me.

Edward, who once told me in detail _how_ hot a chick was and left me unable to look at him for days.

Edward, who is a womanizer.

Edward, who saw me go through my ugly duckling phase and mocked me for it.

Edward, who is in love with another girl.

Edward, who knows me better than anyone else in this earth.

The thought of loving Edward is as foreign as it is familiar. At times, he's been the only one I love. He has been my lifeline. That day, I wanted to die because I thought I had no lifeline left. He's all that's good in my world; him, Tanya, Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme. They've never hurt me. Loving Edward has been easy as breathing, as natural as blinking. But at the same time, it's a new type of love. A foreign one that has grown and multiplied, a love that wants his hands on my body, sweet words and hugs.

It's an impossible love.

I will never date Edward, so loving him is useless. Even if he returned my feelings, I still wouldn't date him. He's far too precious for me. If having my heart break every single day is the price I have to pay for having him close, it's alright, because I know he'll heal it with his presence. I'll find someone else, someone I can smile with and give a fraction of my heart to. I'll do the impossible, just so that I can keep having Edward by my side.

I'm startled when the door to the bathroom opens.

Edward comes in, scratching the back of his head. I screech at him to get out, holding the curtain against my body.

"Huh? What's with the curtain, Swan? I can _still_ see you."

It's a transparent curtain.

Screeching, I point to the door.

Calmly, he lifts the toilet seat and pees. I look the other way, blushing. The water is still running. I let the curtain go and keep showering. If he's going to be so peaceful about it, so am I. After a few seconds, I see his silhouette move back. He flushes (the toilet, not him -I don't have that level of visibility) and washes his hands. I see him pause at the door, then close it behind him.

I give a sigh of relief.

What's with him? He never does this. It's true we've seen each other naked, but that was years ago. And he does go to the bathroom while I shower, but his curtain isn't transparent. And, you know, we don't see each other. And I didn't know I was in love with him. Damn me. Damn him.

Did he find my reaction weird? Does he know something is wrong?

Well, there's no way for me to find out if I don't ask him. I'm not a mind reader, after all. Besides, if there's anything he wants to tell me, he will.

* * *

 _Excerpt Edward and Bella, one month ago, 3:07 AM._

 _It's so hot_ , Edward thought as he lay awake in bed.

The weight on his chest told him what had woken him up. It was his best friend, lying on top of him. Some hours ago, she had rejected Jazz and told him about her living condition. He felt a lot of anger, guilt, sadness and pain.

So much anger. He was supposed to be the first to know about everything. It had taken all his self control not to snap when Bella told him she wasn't a virgin anymore. She was months too late. If she'd told him a week after the fact, he would've been angry but alright enough. Now? With everything else? He was livid. Not only had she lost her virginity to an asshole. Not only did she overwork herself, maintain a scholarship and had all but lost her mother to alcohol. No, that wasn't enough. She'd kept it from him. _Him_ , who was supposed to be her safe haven. Was he conceited in thinking so? It didn't matter; she'd made him this way.

Edward's guilt was deep as well. He, as her best friend, should've known something was wrong. Should have pressed for information when she refused to let him go over to her house. Should have wrung the details out of her when she'd suddenly burst into tears, or when she ran out of school without a moment's notice. _How_ had he not seen it? Why? _Why_ didn't he know? Anybody else might have missed the signs. But not Edward. He wasn't Superman. But if _he_ didn't know Bella best, who did?

Then sadness made a stand. Sadness for his friend's misfortune. Sadness for all that she'd endured with such a brave face. Sadness for the tears she had shed in eleven years, sadness for how difficult it must've been to keep her silence.

But the pain was just as big as his anger. Why did she not say anything? Why hadn't she trusted him? Did she not consider him her best friend? Did she think he wouldn't care? Did she tell anyone else? The thought pained him. Hurt him. On some level, it made him want to cry.

His thoughts were interrupted.

"Edward..." Bella sighed, burrowing her face into his chest.

Just like that, anger, guilt, pain and sadness were blown away.

She was strong, and he was the man she loved the most.

If only it was with the same love he felt for her.

 _End Excerpt_

* * *

On our way to school, Edward bends over and backwards to make sure I spend every single second laughing. I appreciate it, because even though I'm ok, I'm not at my best. Laughing and putting it out of my mind will be the only thing to make everything better. Nobody but him would know.

"Hey, Bella!" Jamie calls out when he sees us approaching the school gates. He runs over, breaking apart of the gang.

"Hi, Jamie."

"Are you alright? You haven't missed class once in the last six years, and that time you were puking all over the floor in Edward's house. And even then, you weren't truly sick. You just had a few too many pancakes."

Good times.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." When his worried look does not subside, I elaborate. "I'll tell you all when we're together, ok?"

Jamie nods, apparently able to live with that.

The three of us finish walking towards the gang. Emmett with Rose, Ben with Angela, Jazz with Ali and Romeo is all by himself. How sad.

"What up, dudes and dudettes?" I grin, hugging everyone briefly.

"Why didn't you come to school yesterday?" Jazz cuts to the chase, obviously having racked his brain. "You weren't sick. Stupid people can't get sick."

That's true, but ouch.

Ali does me a favor and slaps him on the shoulder.

"Be nice, Jasper."

I give her an appraising look. She's doing well.

"But seriously, what happened?" Ben puts in.

Everyone looks worried. Romeo looks guilty.

I take a deep breath.

"On Tuesday, I... bumped into my father." I rush outs but everyone understands me. Rose, Ali and Angela don't know what this means. Romeo, Jamie, Emmett, Ben and Jazz do know, though, and immediately they start shooting questions and all but make sure I'm not feeling suicidal.

"Guys."

Nothing.

" _Guys_."

Still nothing.

"GUYS! SHUT UP FOR A SECOND!" I snap, and they all fall quiet. "Jesus."

"You're really not cute, Swan." Romeo comments; I roll my eyes.

"I wasn't trying to be, but thanks."

Jamie pretends covering my ears.

"Don't listen to him, Bella, you're cute. In your own violent way."

Is he trying to piss me off?

Everyone laughs, me included.

"So, explain to us why this is surprising?" Ali asks, and Rose and Angela nod.

Swallowing, I tell them.

"My father abandoned my mother and I when I was six years old. I haven't seen him once in the last eleven years. Because he left, my mother started drinking so much and I had to work so many jobs. He was the one that left us dirt poor. Ring a bell?"

The mouths of the girls shape an o, and they blush. Yeah, they were all pretty tactless.

"We all know this story. Proceed." Emmett frowns, for once ignoring my scolding of his girlfriend.

It warms my heart to know that on some level, his friends are more important than his girlfriend.

"How did you bump into your bastard of a father?" Jazz sneers, startling Ali and I. His fierceness is expected, but it might make Ali misunderstand.

I level him with a glare that says to calm down. Jazz, as always in sync with me, understands and lowers his hackles, instead opting to hold Ali's hand. The doped look on her face tells me that she's already forgotten what we were talking about.

So I tell them the brief version. I explain how everything happened, what I said, what Edward and I did. Everyone high fives us when they hear how we beat him up, and even I laugh at the recounting. When I'm done, they all quiet down.

"And you're ok?" Ben confirms.

"You know we'll help any way we can. Even if what you need is to make a voodoo doll of him, we'll try to make one with you. Ok?" Jamie grabs my arms and shakes me, making my head wobble.

"Yeah, now stop the shaking."

The bell rings.

In math class, I sit with Romeo.

"Hey, Bella, you sure you're ok?" he turns to me with worried green eyes. I frown and answer that of course. "You're looking a bit shaken."

Am I?

I flush. Last night flashes behind my eyelids, and the realization that I love my best friend makes my heart thump painfully. It takes all my will not to turn to look at Edward, who's probably sitting on Maya's desk and flirting with her, just like he does every morning with a different girl.

It makes my heart hurt.

"I... I'm alright." I give him a fake smile, hoping he'll drop it. Thankfully, he doesn't have to because Mr. Banner stands before us in that moment.

"Ms. Swan, I'm glad to see you're alright. I trust you weren't skipping my class yesterday?" he raises an eyebrow. Damn, he's really hot, if I think about it. Too bad blue eyed blonde isn't my type -says the girl that dated the blue eyed blonde photographer. I don't know what got into me then, though. But Mr. Banner is more boy-next-door hot, with swept aside hair. Matt was all… well, boyish charms and hot

"Of course not, Mr. Banner. You know how I _love_ math class."

Lie of the year.

"Of course. Which is why you're going to hand in tomorrow the exercises we did yesterday that you missed. Since you love it so much."

"And if I say it's devil incarnate?"

"You'll do twice the amount of problems."

"Boy, isn't math _fun_? I'm so lucky to be able to do the problems I missed yesterday at home." I give my teacher a wide smile.

"Smartass." He scoffs, but goes away with a small grin. Oh yeah, he missed me.

Romeo stares at me.

"You don't look as heartbroken as one would think you'd be."

"Why would I? He had his ass handed to him. And he might be my father, but he's no longer my dad. It's a fact. I can't do anything about it. Life moves on."

"Wise words for a girl that can't stop blushing. What are you thinking about?" I blush even harder, and his eyes turn curious. "What are you hiding?"

I stutter out a vague answer, and for the first time ever, I'm grateful when Mr. Banner tells us to shut up.

During lunch, Romeo and I sit at the rooftop, just chilling. The approaching winter makes me want to curl up next to a fire, though, so through chattering teeth I gulp down my sandwich.

"Tell me."

"What?" I play dumb.

"What you were thinking about."

I look away.

Might as well tell Curious George.

"I'm in love with Edward. I... love him more than I've ever loved anyone else. It scares me."

"Finally!" Romeo rolls his eyes. "Seventeen years too late, but better late than never. Let me guess. He gave you that new necklace?"

I blush.

I try tucking in the necklace so he can't see the angel.

"I thought no one would notice."

"Please, Bella, when you make a modification to the only piece of jewelry you ever wear, anybody will notice. The rest were probably too worried about you to notice."

"But not you, huh?"

"I'm omniscient, so I don't count."

I bark out a laugh.

"You're too much, Romeo." I sober up. "I'm still pissed about lunch, just FYI, Romeo."

"I know."

"And next time you stick up for her and turn against me, I'll have you grilled medium well and will hand you over to the wolves known as Emmett, Jamie, Ben and Edward without a shred of mercy. We clear?"

"Crystal."

"Then tell me, have you talked to May yet?"

Romeo blinks, adapting to the change in me. I don't think he's used to my eccentricity yet.

"U-Uh, um," he stumbles, but is quick to recover. "No, I haven't. I've been too worried to call her."

My glare says that if I felt inclined to move, I'd hit him.

"Romeo, I know you worry. And it's logical. Besides, you're a worrywart. It's fine. But if you really love May, you'll worry about your future with her and not her past."

"Easy for you to say. You don't even _know_ jealousy."

I think about the rage I felt in my chest when I thought the black angel was for some other girl. The ugly feeling I get when I see Edward flirting with another girl, even if it's nothing new.

Jealousy.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Lately, there's this awful feeling in my chest. I've taken to worrying who Edward is seeing right now, who his next target is, if he thinks about how it'll hurt me." Romeo's triumphant smirk doesn't last long. "But I wouldn't try and get a number out of him of the amount of girls he's slept with. Besides, your situation is different from mine. I don't plan on ever getting together with Tony, so jealousy is a moot point."

"You're too stubborn for your own good." Romeo grumbles, frustration clear in his voice. "You ever thought of taking a leap of faith?"

"No. I might end up leaping off the Rocky Mountains and into my doom. I told you, didn't I? I would never date Edward."

"Then you'll miraculously stop loving him? You're dependent enough on him to do that? Aren't you confusing friendship with romance, then?" Romeo defies. A gust of wind blows by, and I'm reminded of the old west fights, with dirt flying around and guns being pulled.

"W-What?" I stumble.

Dependent? Confusing?

"Don't tell me you didn't know you depend on Edward, Bella. You might be able to live and get by just fine on your own, but emotionally? It's a huge difference between the you now and the you I met when you were still fighting with Edward. It's like life returned to you, however cheesy it sounds."

"You're right." I shudder. "It _does_ sound cheesy." Romeo's unamused face sobers me up from my howling laughter. "Romeo, I'm not emotionally dependent on Tony."

"Who do you tell your problems to?"

I know where this is going.

"My diary." Glare. "Edward."

"Who knows you best?"

"Edward."

"Who gives you advice?"

"You." He glares again. "And Edward."

"Who can't you live without?"

"Edward, Edward, Edward."

"If that's not dependency, I don't know what is." He smirks triumphantly. I roll my eyes.

"Is that a bad thing? It's not like he's my only friend."

"I don't think it's necessarily bad. It can be, depending on the matter at hand. Your dependency on him, though, got you to attempt suicide."

Point taken.

"So what do I _do_?" I cry out.

Romeo looks thoughtful.

"What's the longest you've spent without Edward?"

"Two days." I answer automatically. "He was disgustingly sick and Aunt Esme wouldn't let me go into his room."

"Not even for family vacations?"

"The Cullens aren't big on them. And when they do go, I go with them."

"Impressive."

"Romeo, Edward's appendix _burst_ and I still saw him every day. I learnt the name of every nurse in his floor." I raise an eyebrow. " _That_ was impressive, even for me."

Romeo looks thoughtful for a moment, and then he nods, as if confirming someone to himself.

"You're coming with me on a family vacation." He stops me when I start protesting. "Hear me out, Bella. It's four days on the mountains. No phones or computers allowed. You and I will have fun and for four days, we'll forget all about Cullen and May. You take your time to figure out if you're in love with your best friend, and I take my time figuring out how to make May fall helplessly in love with me. Then we come back to the city, and everything will be just peachy."

"Family vacation?"

"More like just you, the twins and I. Mom and dad will be on a trip, so they're sending us to the winter home."

Winter home.

"Sometimes I forget you're a rich kid yourself." I muse, thinking of his gigantic house. "How many houses _do_ you have?"

"Four. Here, at the beach, the mountains and an apartment in New York."

Wow.

And _he_ was jealous of Alec.

"Rich bastard." I grumble, only half jokingly. "Fine! I'll go with you. Where do I sign?"

"You're _what_?"

It's late, and Edward and I are preparing dinner. We're making chicken Alfredo.

"I'm going on a trip with Romeo. Four days, three nights. His siblings will be there, too. And I get my own room."

"I sure fucking hope so!" Edward growls, dicing furiously.

"LANGUAGE SHINY BOY!" Aunt Esme yells from the living room. That woman has convenient hearing amplification.

"Sorry mom!" Edward calls back, immediately checking himself. Towards her. Not to me. "What are you _thinking_ , Belle? Going on a trip with a guy you've known for less than six months? Are you mental?"

Well, when he puts it that way...

"I can't exactly explain it, Ed, but I trust Romeo. I'm a good judge of character and you know it, too, so don't argue with me on that."

Edward is clearly unhappy with my decision.

"But you'll spend Christmas with us?"

I look down.

"The 24th, yes, but the next day... I... Want to visit my mom." I look up, and Edward's eyes are soft. "I'm sorry. It's been a long time and I haven't gone to see her once. I want to spend the day with her."

"You sure about that? She might say hurtful things."

"If she does, it's alright. I deserve it, I guess. I'm an awful daughter for abandoning her. I'll make amends, though. I promise."

Edward stares at me for a few seconds.

"Belle, I have something I need to confess." Edward says suddenly, and for a few seconds, I'm scared to hear the confession.

I start chopping again, avoiding Edward's gaze.

"What is it?"

Truth is, I noticed that something had been weighing his mind.

"I'm... a virgin."

I start laughing.

So hard, in fact, tears come out of my eyes.

"That's a very awful joke, Tony. Not funny at all." But when I don't hear my best friend laughing as well, and see him standing frozen when I turn to see, my laughter stops. "Are you serious?" My tone pitches at the end, disbelieving.

Please tell me he's joking.

"As a heart attack."

Damn.

Horror fills me. I defiled a virgin. Edward would hate me if he knew what I'd done to him. God, I'm such an awful person.

"How? _Why_? You told me you did it with Irina Denali! And then with a bunch of other girls!" I exclaim, mindful of my volume lest Aunt Esme hear.

"No, you just _assumed_. I never once told you I actually had sex with Irina, did I?" Edward's tense body tenses even further. "And the other girls wanted to have sex me, and a couple times I almost did because I was pissed drunk. But I managed to persuade them into leaving me alone, letting them say they did it with me in exchange." Edward admits.

My head spins.

"But, you called me to brag you did it with Irina..."

"I meant I had kissed her. You never let me finish that time."

* * *

 _3 years ago, midnight..._

"Hello?"

"Hey Belle!"

"Tony, how many times have I told you not to call me? I hate talking on the phone."

"If you hate it so much, why do you even have a line?"

"Mom thinks it's necessary in case of emergencies. In any case, can this conversation wait until tomorrow? It's almost midnight and I'll see you for breakfast anyways."

"No, it can't wait. I'm too excited. Just hear me out."

"Fine. Speak."

"I did it with Irina Denali."

...

"Irina Denali, the senior?"

"The very same."

"You did _it_?"

"Uh-huh."

"No fucking way! You actually had sex with Irina? You bastard!"

"Wait, Belle, I didn't-"

"You hadn't even had your first kiss and yet you went all the way with her! How'd you pull that off?"

"Well, truth is I-"

"What, and now you're calling me to brag? You ass. This type of conversation could've waited until tomorrow. Ready the popcorn and movies; we're having a marathon."

 _Peep peep peep._

"Truth is, Belle, I just kissed her. We didn't have sex." Sigh. "That motor mouth."

 _End conversation_

* * *

"Huh." I blush, flustered. Then I slap his shoulder. "Why didn't you say so before? Idiot!"

If I'd known, even my suicide attempt...

"I was embarrassed! You were always calling me a manwhore, and a player, and eventually, my pride wouldn't let me tell you what I actually did..."

"What do you actually _do_ Friday nights when you don't come home?"

"Play at the arcade with Jamie. It's so close to his house we normally crash there."

Jamie, the asshole knew?

"So you've basically been leading a double life. One I knew nothing about."

Great.

"Hey, it's not that big of a deal. I guess both of us were too busy trying to hide a part of ourselves and we didn't notice the other's secret." Edward shrugs like its not a big deal.

Guilt settles in.

"So I'm not even close to a virgin anymore, and yet you...?" I trail off. My best friend blushes, flinches and nods.

I really am a slut. Fine, so it's only been two guys. But Edward hasn't even had _one_ girl!

"Hey, don't worry about it. It was my choice to not do it with just any girl. I've been waiting for the right one." He admits, and my heart softens a bit. What a sweet liar.

"Are you saying I just did it with any guy?"

I can't help but be irrational.

"No-"

"I'll have you know I really liked Alec at the time."

"I kn-"

"And really Tony, it's just stupid that you would wait so long for the right girl. There's no such thing, right?"

"Of co-"

"Don't tell me you're planning on doing it with the girl you're in love with. I'm right, aren't I? I knew i-"

"Shut _up_ , Bella!" Edward snaps, and I do as I'm told. Scary. "I'm not saying you're easy and I'm not saying I've waited this long for her. I just haven't had the inclination to do it yet. Alright?"

Alright.

Liar, but alright.

We start cooking again.

"Why didn't you tell me before, though? You know I wouldn't have judged you."

"I had planned on it. But then Black came along, and I felt lame. I mean, you already had a boyfriend and I hadn't reached further than first base with a girl. I always stop them from going further. So I kept putting it off, and finally... I gathered the courage."

I decide it's time to stop nagging him about it.

"Well, I'm glad you told me. Even if you _are_ putting yourself up for endless teasing on my behalf." I begin my bullying. "However, did Jamie know about this?"

"From the very beginning."

We cook in silence for a few minutes.

"He's a very good friend, isn't he?" I ask Edward rhetorically. "You and I are very lucky to have found him. People like him are hard to find."

"People like him?"

"Loyal to a fault, kind, funny, caring... An all-around great friend. If it wasn't for him butting in, our friendship might've never survived these last few months."

"How so?"

"More than once he tried to get me to make up with you. I take it he knew what you were really doing that night?" his silence confirms it. "Why did he never say? Did you ask him not to?"

"I asked him not to get involved. I thought if he confirmed my belief that you blamed me and told me... Well, I would've been shattered at the time." Briefly, guilt consumes me. God, I was so stupid. "But honestly, it's the fault of all of us: yours for doing that stupidity and thinking I'd ever leave you, me for telling you a blatant lie that drove you over the edge, Black's for leaving like that and your dad's for leaving you with that trauma, and the rest's for not noticing on time there was something wrong with you. Am I wrong?"

No, he isn't.

"No, you're not." I clear my throat. "In any case; we're in Jamie's debt."

"Belle..."

I know what he's going to say.

"I won't tell you who I like, Edward. Not until you tell me who the lucky lady is. And yes, it includes me not telling you who _isn't_ who I like."

"Why don't you want me to know?"

"Probably the same reason _you_ don't want _me_ to know."

"Fair point well made, as ever, Ms. Swan."

Finals fly by quickly, and before I know it, I'm packing my bags and getting ready to meet Romeo in front of my apartment. He'll be here any minute now.

My doorbell rings.

I run downstairs, and am greeted by three pairs of green eyes.

Max is all but buzzing, bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet. Ali is sitting on Romeo's shoulders. The twins are seven years old, and both have the same green eyes Romeo and Jazz have. But their hair is blonde and curly, and their aura is not threatening like their brother's.

"Bella!" Max exclaims excitedly, and bounds over to give me a huge hug. Because I'm short and he's short, his head is just below my boobs, so he's very comfortable to hug. I put my arms around him, heart warming.

Ali smiles at me just as big and gives me a kiss from her spot.

"Romeo, I'm going to steal these two and take them somewhere you'll never find them."

"I won't let you."

"You don't have to. They'll come willingly, right kids?"

"Right!"

I smile smugly at Romeo.

"See? They love me more than you."

"Kids, not cool." The kids in question giggle like they just got caught doing something naughty. "Let's go before you decide to make her your big sister."

We leave.

* * *

 **So... I know this chapter is shorter than usual, but next chapter's sorta important, and I can't afford FFN telling me that it won't upload a long chapter. Besides, I don't know if you noticed, but last chapter was also longer than usual. Also, next chapter will be the last of my pre-written chapters, so I'll need more time to come up with the final chapters. I mean, this is, by far, the longest story I've ever written (published or personal). So I'm thinking maybe two more chapters and an epilogue, yeah? I hope you've liked this story as much as I do. :)**

 **Anyways, leave me some love.**

 **Leah.**


	14. Can't Help Falling in Love

**DISCLAIMER: I JUST OWN COPIES OF TWILIGHT AND A HIGHLY ACTIVE IMAGINATION.**

* * *

By the end of the trip, the only thought that remains in my mind is Edward. Is Edward fine? Does he miss me? Has he kissed another girl? Where is he right now? I don't know anything about him since the trip started, because Romeo demanded my phone from me.

The days were fun.

Romeo, Ali and Max taught me how to ski. It was really embarrassing how two seven year olds could ski better than me, but seeing how it had been seven years since the Cullens brought me to even see the snow, I was quite rusty. By the end of the trip, my legs were covered in bruises and I had a broken left arm.

Edward would flip when he saw me.

I, however, felt quite proud of my injury, you know, after the pain faded away. I mean, now I had another tale to tell my grandchildren. _Hey, kids, let me tell you about the time your grandmother thought she could ski..._ It was quite comical, too. I ran into a tree and put up my arm to break my fall, because if you think about it, better a broken arm than broken teeth. Those don't grow back. I also don't remember much of the pain; it was so cold and I was in so much pain I passed out, so if you're picky, you could say I was only in true pain for about one minute.

Well, but that was during the day. After everyone had gone to sleep, I would sit in front of the fire with a mug of hot chocolate, wondering how Edward's day had been. Wondering if he had thought of me at all. That was the first two nights. On the third, Romeo gave me sleeping pills (hidden in my food, because I wouldn't take them willingly) since I wouldn't stop nagging him about giving me back my phone. My arm was broken, I hadn't seen my best friend in three days and my heart was telling me to kiss the hell out of Edward once I saw him. Needless to say, I was moody and bitchy with Romeo (not the kids -I love those brats).

Romeo saw a whole new side of me.

On the other hand, injuries and Edward aside, I had a blast. The twins were hilarious, making up bad jokes and telling me anecdotes, while Romeo visibly did his best at not thinking of May. Easier said than done, though, and I had the joy and privilege of taking away _his_ phone.

Every day, we would wake up at around nine or ten, depending on the twins. We'd have breakfast in our pajamas, shower and then take off to ski. A little after noon we'd huddle and go back to the house, where we'd make a light lunch. Then off to ski again for a couple hours, after which we'd have an unhealthy snack and laze around the house until dinnertime. We were all too tired to do anything else by the end of the day.

It really was a great vacation, injuries and heartache aside.

Romeo and I had no deep moments. We went there to have fun, and have fun we did. It wasn't like one of those movies where two friends will lie under the stars and ponder on life, and realize they're in love with each other. Not at all. Romeo and I don't roll that way. The mushiest moment we had was when I crashed into the tree and he carried me into the car so he could take me to the hospital. And I was unconscious.

Very romantic, huh?

Still, I _did_ ponder about my feelings for Edward. I missed him in a different way I missed the rest of the gang, my uncles or Tan. I missed him the same way I'd missed Alec when he had a gig in Germany and would be gone for the weekend, or the same way I'd miss Jake when he had to study for exams and couldn't see me for a whole week: intensely and obsessively.

The vacations were, reluctantly, useful.

Romeo drops me off at Edward's directly. I'm bouncing on my seat, heart pounding, too excited at the prospect of seeing my best friend. When Romeo comes to a stop in the driveway, I kiss the three Marks siblings goodbye, swing my bag over my shoulder and hop off, sprinting to the front door.

Before I can even take my key out, the door rips open and I'm in Edward's arms.

"You can never leave for so long again."

Obviously, Edward and I are applying to college extremely close to each other or the same ones. His first option and mine are the same. We would never survive living a town away from each other.

"I won't. I promise." He notices for the first time the strange weight against his neck.

Edward steps back.

"MARKS!" he shouts, a second too late because Romeo is already speeding off down the road. Edward is fuming, unable to believe I couldn't survive one weekend without him without getting hurt.

He grabs my shoulders, furious, eyebrows pulled together.

"You idiot. Seventeen years and not a sprain. Then Romeo comes along and you get a broken arm! I'm going to kill him, and then I'm going to kill you. How did this happen?"

"I ran into a tree."

"Of course. Only you would go skiing even though you know you aren't skilled in sports in the snow."

"I'm not?"

"Why do you think we never rode on sleds as kids? Don't you remember the time we went ice skating and you fell on your ass so hard we were sure you broke your tailbone?"

Huh.

"I never thought of it that way. I assumed it was just bad luck." I see my answer doesn't exactly relieve Edward, so I give him another hug and go in the house, calling to the Cullen family members as I make my way into the kitchen for a snack.

It takes an hour and a half to calm down everyone, assuring them that it was my own fault I ran into that tree and confirming Romeo didn't put any moves on me while we were away. Edward seemed to be the most concerned about my non-existent virginity, Tan and Aunt Esme wanted to know _all_ the details and Uncle Carlisle just kept staring at my broken arm with vicious eyes. Like he was blaming Romeo, too.

"Come on, people! Tomorrow is Christmas, we should be singing about a creepy Santa watching us and gifts and Jesus!" I chant, standing up from the kitchen's stool and twirling around my second family.

"That is true." Aunt Esme says, standing up and wiping her hands on her jeans. "You kids should go to sleep. We're baking a Christmas cake and cookies tomorrow since early in the morning, so you better save your energies for eating and cooking."

We all disperse.

Upstairs, I change in Edward's bathroom while he changes in his room. I leave the door open so we can still talk.

"For the billionth time, Edward, Romeo and I did not have sex and I do not blame him for my broken arm, so neither should you."

"My question of, _did something happen?_ was not limited to only sex, you know."

"Then I don't get your question. Please elaborate."

"Did you maybe... Develop feelings for him?" I finish putting on my shorts (Edward's boxers) and calmly walk out of the bathroom. Edward is just sitting on the bed, waiting.

I whack him on the arm.

"What the-"

"You fool! _Romeo_? You think I'd fall for _Romeo_? I already told you a _gazillion_ times I have no romantic feelings for Riley Paris Marks. _When_ will you believe me?"

Unknowingly, it's this sentence that changes everything for Edward.

* * *

 _Intermission: Edward's Four Days Without Bella_

Bell

Bella

Belle

Isabella Marie Swan

Edward turned and tossed all night, unable to settle down. The first two days without Bella had been tough, but he'd just pretended it was one of those rare weekends he couldn't see her. He'd gone out with Jamie to the Arcade, played with Emmett some basketball and had even gone to Ben's house to play videogames. But none of them were his Belle. By the third day, the itch and discomfort he felt was unbearable. He felt like he always did when he went into an exam he didn't even know he was going to have: unprepared and scared, disappointed and annoyed at life. Bella wasn't there to warm his bed on Friday or Saturday. She was supposed to be there, though. Not out with Marks.

What if she fell for Marks? A part of him wondered if she wasn't lying when she said she had no feelings for the guy. She'd said she had someone she loved, but who? Who? It made his blood boil to think she'd once again fallen for someone that wasn't him. Him, who'd loved her longer than anyone else.

Bella, Bella... He had to tell Belle how he felt. Even if she didn't feel the same.

 _End Intermission_

* * *

Edward stands up. He goes to the door, locks it and comes to stand in front of me. His brown eyes are swirling with emotion, but I, for once, don't know what he's feeling. He's opening and closing his mouth, frustrated, furrowing his eyebrows.

"What's wrong, Tony?"

He stares at me for a second, and then he sighs, running his hands through his hair.

I just wait for him. I'd wait for him without speaking for hours on end, patiently trusting whatever he has to say is worth the wait.

After a bit more pacing, Edward finally comes to stop in front of me.

He grabs my hand that's not broken, and he places it on top of his heart. I can feel the rapid beat, see the hair at the nape of his neck curling with sweat. He's nervous.

He takes a step closer to me.

He's now close enough I have to look up to look into his eyes. He's exactly a foot taller than me.

He swallows audibly.

"Isabella."

I'm surprised. Shit just got serious.

"Edward." My voice is surprised, not as serious as his.

What he does next surprises the shit out of me.

He leans down and kisses me.

Right on the lips.

My eyes remain open, but his close. He holds my cheek with the hand that isn't holding mine against his heart. His grip on it is strong, but his grip on my cheek is soft, like he's caressing a fine china doll.

My heart thumps, and I close my eyes, exhaling.

His heart is ready to jump out of his chest.

I understand what he means, of course.

I always know.

I pull back slightly, choosing instead to rest my forehead against his.

We exhale, feeling each other's breath on our faces. We both smell of toothpaste.

We both retreat enough to clearly see into each other's eyes without being cross-eyed.

My heart is flying like a hummingbird in my chest. This kiss feels different from any other I've ever had. However simple it was, it feels just as exhilarating as one make out session had felt with Jake. Is this the effect of love?

"Bella, I love you," he wets his lips, not breaking my gaze. "I've loved you for the last four years as a woman, and my whole life as my best friend. And I know that right now, you might have someone in your heart that's not me. But I just want you to know, I love you now and I need you in my life. So please, don't hate me for how I feel..."

I bark out a laugh.

"It took you long enough, Edward." I smile at him softly, feeling his heartbeat accelerate even more. God, I love him. I turn my head in his hand and kiss his palm, fascinated by the dumbstruck expression on his face.

"Wait, what?"

"I love you, too, dummy. As if I could ever do anything but."

"So the guy you loved..."

"Is you."

He smiles. It's a brilliant smile, brighter and lovelier than I've ever thought any smile had a right to be.

Then he does the cutest thing: he blushes.

I'm sure I have a foolish expression on right now, but all Edward does is pull me to him and give me the warmest hug I've ever received.

"Thank you, Belle. Thank you."

I burrow my face in his chest, wrapping my arms around him, he rests his chin on the crown of my head, and we're two puzzle pieces finally joined together. His heart beats comfortably beneath my ear, and one of his hands rest on my waist while the other strokes my hair.

"Damn. Aunt Esme is going to have a field day with this development." I say after a few minutes, kissing Edward's chest and pulling away. He lets me go, grinning.

"Field day doesn't even cut it. She's going to rub it in our faces and then start planning our wedding."

We laugh nervously. We know his mother is capable of it.

Suddenly, Edward tackles me and dumps me on the bed. I squeak, but wrap my arms around him.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I laugh, stroking his hair with my good hand. He's lying on top of me, resting his lips against my neck, fucking heavy. But I like the weight on top.

"Enjoying you." he kisses my neck, making me giggle. I've only ever giggled because of Edward. I'm ticklish in my neck, and my best friend knows this. So he keeps kissing me there, moving up to my ear.

I laugh again. I'm an unbelievably ticklish person.

Suddenly, Edward rolls off me, and now we're both lying on our sides facing each other. Our hands are linked together in the middle, and we're near enough the other we feel intimate but far enough we don't look at each other cross-eyed.

"How long have you loved me for?"

I make the count in my head.

"Two, three weeks? I'm sorry, Edward, I really didn't pine. I only just recently realized I was in love with you."

He pouts.

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"It was actually the object of your jealousy, Romeo, who brought it to my attention. He kept insisting on giving us a shot, and that it might work after all. I hope he's right."

"Belle, you and I will _definitely_ work. And if by some dark miracle we don't, we need each other enough that we'll still be friends afterwards."

"Promise?"

"I swear, Isabella Marie Swan."

I smile. I smile bigger and brighter than I have... In the last six months? My whole life? Being with Edward is easy and wonderful and heartwarming.

Biting my lip, I roll so I'm lying on his hips, pressing down.

He groans, holding my waist tightly.

"Belle?"

"You know," I grin, rolling my hips and bringing my lips close to his ear. "You'll be the first virgin I'm with." I suck his earlobe in. "I _really_ like that."

He groans louder now, but this time for a different reason.

"God, I'm so fucking jealous." He crushes me to his chest. "But, I mean... Can we wait? Is that ok? I don't want you to think I'm inexperienced or for you to get bored with me easily."

"It's fine, but... Why do you want to wait?" I ask, laying my head down on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

He hugs me tightly.

"You're important to me. I never want our relationship to be purely physical, which is what would happen if we didn't wait a bit. I'm not asking for long, just enough so that you and I know each other as a couple. You catch my drift?"

"I always do."

We fall asleep like that.

The next morning, which is Christmas, we wake up to the smell of cookies. It's Aunt Esme's evil plan to get us out of bed before ten without complaining.

I'm on my side, being held from behind by Edward. He's pressed up tightly behind me, morning wood evident, and his hands are on my boobs. It makes me blush.

"Edward." I whisper.

"Belle." He groans back in a husky voice.

"Stop groping my boobs."

"Why?" he whines, just gripping them harder. I'm too amused to be offended or turned on. Right now, he's just Edward, my best friend turned boyfriend messing around with me.

"Because your mom can walk through that door any second now and catch you being less than pure."

That makes him stop and instead slip his arms lower so he's just holding me around my waist.

"Belle..." he whispers in my ear. My eyes are still closed, and I hum in acknowledgement.

"Belle, I love you. So much."

My heart melts, and I turn around and kiss him lightly, morning breath be damned.

"I love you too, Edward. More than you can imagine."

Five minutes later, we're both brushing our teeth in front of the mirror. Edward is bumping into me, teasing. I glare mockingly, and he grins, foamy teeth and all. I roll my eyes but giggle.

When he spits out the toothpaste, he leans against the sink, waiting for me.

"Do you think we should tell our parents? Or should we wait?" he keeps talking while I consider. "I mean, on one hand, they'd be happy for us and we'd be realizing their lifelong dream. Besides, we might be a bit obvious." I nod, agreeing. "On the other hand, they'd enforce restrictions on us, what with parenting and all. They wouldn't let you sleep in my room, and they'd monitor me far more about my comings and goings."

I ponder about it. He's right about both things, so I have to choose the lesser of two evils.

I spit out the toothpaste and answer.

"I think... This is far too important to hide. And we could try compromising about the restrictions, if they enforce any at all. Who knows? Maybe Aunt Esme will be thrilled enough she'll let lose on a few things."

Edward kisses me, and when he exhales, his minty breath mixes with mine.

"I have one question though." Edward nods, listening. "Does your mother know about, you know... Your feelings for me?" I ask shyly.

He snorts.

"You kidding? She was the one that pointed it out to me. Then she told Tan and dad."

Ouch.

"So everyone knew but me."

"Correct."

"There's so much I want to ask you, but that can wait until later."

"'Kay." He pecks me on the lips, gives me a boyish grin and takes my hand, then leads us out of the room.

Hand in hand (he obviously grabbing my good hand), we walk downstairs, ready to face the music.

Aunt Esme is taking cookies out of the oven, Tan is eating dough and Uncle Carlisle is watching his women work.

Aunt Esme is the first one to see us. She drops the batch with cookies (thankfully on the kitchen table) and blinks at us.

Edward and I just stand there, ready to face his family.

Then Tan and Uncle Carlisle look up, startled by the noise. They follow Aunt Esme's train of sight, and stop at our linked hands.

"Bella, were the two of you playing with glue and got stuck again?"

Yes, it has happened. Recently. As in, less than a year ago.

"No." Edward answers cheerfully.

"Young man, would you care to explain? I think your mother is about to have a real heart attack if she doesn't get an answer now." Edward's dad mutters, looking intently at our hands.

"We're dating." I smile, and Aunt Esme takes a breath.

Then she and Tan squeal.

I think they have reached new volumes unknown to men.

Uncle Carlisle, Edward and I flinch.

Suddenly, I'm not in the kitchen anymore. I'm sitting on Aunt Esme's bed, with her and Tanya standing in front of me with interrogating eyes.

"When?"

"Where?"

"How?"

"Who?"

I stop them before I can no longer answer their questions.

"When? Yesterday night. Where? Edward's room. Who? Him. How? I was reassuring him I wouldn't fall for Romeo, and the next second he kissed me. When I didn't slap him, he told me he loved me, and I told him I loved him too. The end."

Tanya groans.

"How boring."

"How sweet!" squeals Aunt Esme, obviously excited. "I knew it, I knew it! You're going to be my daughter someday, Bella!"

I blush. Aunt Esme, you're thinking way ahead.

Like, 'you're freaking me out' ahead.

One lone butterfly, though, dances across my stomach.

I squash it.

"Mom, stop it, you're embarrassing Bella." Tanya's eyes glint with mischievousness. "Did you do it?"

" _Tanya_!"

"TAN!" I growl, tomato red. "Seriously, in front of Aunt Esme?"

"She has a point; I'm still Edward's mother." Aunt Esme agrees, then turns to me slyly. "But, as your Aunt Esme, I _really_ want to know."

Blushing beat red, I answer.

"No, we didn't. Edward said he wants to wait, and I respect that."

"My brother is such a little girl." Tan huffs, annoyed. "I thought with all the experience he has, he'd be able to teach our Bella something."

I blush even harder and squeeze my eyes tightly.

"Actually, Edward isn't as experienced as he seems. As a matter of fact, he's a virgin. I'm the experienced one, not to say slutty." I want to say, but I figure that might be a violation of his trust, so I say nothing.

"Oh, leave him alone. My son is just a romantic like that." Aunt Esme hushes her daughter then turns to me, smiling. "Oh Bella, you don't know how happy you make me. My son has been in love with you close to four years, and it was all I could do not to tell you."

That reminds me of something.

"So that means that when I dated Jake, he..."

Aunt Esme nods.

"Was in agony the whole time. I swear that boy might as well have been a breathing stone all those months you dated. During the accident, he was worse than a ghost. When I saw him arrive at the hospital, he was pale and shaking and cursing, and he didn't calm down one bit until we knew you'd make it. He cried the whole time we were waiting."

I feel saddened by that.

Aunt Esme isn't done being a mamma bear, though.

"You know, the first couple of months were hard on Edward because he didn't know what to say to you. What do you say to the woman you love who nearly died over another man? After that, he was just so confident that you blamed him he tortured himself over and over. I hope that nothing like that ever happens again."

There's a hint of warning in her tone. I might be like a daughter to her, but Edward is her real son.

I nod in understanding.

"Edward and I still have a lot to talk about."

Aunt Esme changes the subject.

"So, you're going to visit your mom today?"

I nod.

"At night. I'm spending Christmas with her; I already left her a voicemail telling her."

Aunt Esme glances at me innocently.

"And will you be taking your _boyfriend_?"

The way she says it makes me blush.

"I thought about it, but I want it to be just mom and I. I'll tell her of the developments, of course, but..." I sigh. "Mom and Edward haven't seen each other in close to five years; sure they saw each other in the hospital, but I don't suppose they had anything all that happy to talk about. Edward said my mom was so upset she wouldn't even look at anyone but me. I guess I just want to be sure Edward meets the Renée Higginbotham he remembers."

Not the drunkard of a mother I left behind.

After twenty minutes of interrogation, Aunt Esme lets me go. Well, that's playing on technicalities, because then Edward and I have to face the stare down from the parental unit.

"So, the two of you are dating."

"Yes."

"Since when?"

We answer at the same time.

"Yesterday."

"I have no more questions." Uncle Carlisle tells his wife, who glares at him.

"Well... Neither do I." she relents, but then her mouth hardens. "However, we _do_ need to talk about rules."

"Have fun, kids. Just remember: I'm too young to be a grandfather. Use protection." Uncle Carlisle stands, grunting. Edward and I grow red.

" _Carlisle Cullen_ , I'm going to kill you!" Aunt Esme growls after her husband's retreating figure.

Edward and I just sit... waiting.

Aunt Esme looked to be deep in thought. Her future decision would make or break Edward and I.

"Since my husband will not take the matter of you dating with more seriousness, it seems like it's up to me to be the bad guy." She takes a deep breath. "Bella, whenever you sleep over, you'll stay with Tanya. Edward, whenever you go over to Bella's, since I can't stop you, you have to be back before midnight. Lastly, just like Carlisle said, use protection. That's all. Now, go shower so we can get on with the cooking. You have forty minutes to come down."

Edward and I dash upstairs.

Locking the door behind us, Edward wiggles his eyebrows.

"Let's conserve water?"

I bark out a laugh. I start picking out my clothes; jeans and one of Edward's shirts.

"No way José. You were the one that said you didn't want a purely physical relationship. Let's go on our first date, _then_ let's talk about being eco-friendly."

He pouts, hugging me from behind.

"Can I at least grope you?"

He kisses my neck.

"Can I stop you?"

"Never."

"Then just refrain from doing it in public." I sigh. He slips his hand under my shirt and grabs my boobs. There's nothing sexual in the way he grabs me, only affection.

"I really love your boobs, Bella. Always have."

He sighs, resting his forehead against my neck and slipping down his hands, so they're simply wrapped around my waist.

"I feel like this is a dream, you know? Four years of unrequited love. Worth every second, but not fun at all."

My heart melts a bit.

"I'm sorry it took me so long." I put my hands on top of his. "The heartache I've put us through... So much could've been avoided if only someone had opened my eyes before." I sigh. "We owe Romeo a lot."

His arms tighten around me.

"You two _really_ did nothing?"

"I'm gonna hit you if you ask again." I threaten, not truly angry. "My heart and body are yours. What more do you want from me?"

"Everything." He answers immediately. He turns me around, grabbing my face in his hands. "I haven't spent a day without knowing you, and my promise to you is I'll always stand by you. As your boyfriend, as your friend, husband, father of your children and grandchildren... There is _nothing_ in this world that will tear me away from you. _Nothing_. Not even death." He gives me a kiss to seal the promise.

I love him.

I love him enough that right now, the prospect of marrying him and having a future does not scare me, because there is no other way.

A future with him is the only thing I've always been sure of.

"Edward. I love you." I smile widely, kissing him again. "Even if you're a little clingy sometimes," I tease, winking to let him know I'm kidding. "But now you have to let me shower, or Aunt Esme will get mad. You know she means forty minutes."

"Ok." He gives me another peck, and after a bit more coercing, he leaves.

Really, he's too cute.

I shower in ten minutes and am completely ready in another ten. I wear jeans and Edward's green shirt along with my red converse. What? I'm festive.

When I get out, Edward is already sitting on his bed, just towel-drying his hair.

"Bella, there's something I've never told you." I wait, pulling my hair into a French braid.

"What?"

"I _love_ it when you wear my clothes." I grin.

"And if I told you I'm wearing your boxers underneath?"

His mouth drops.

"Are you?"

"Yes." I wink, grinning. "Can't I wear my boyfriend's things?"

He groans.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"No. Just torture you."

We walk out of his room hand in hand.

We find Aunt Esme kneading some dough. She likes making fresh bread for special occasions. At this point, I'm not sure if we're celebrating Christmas or Edward and I.

"Is it potato bread?" I lick my lips, looking at it. Edward and I are still always-hungry hyenas. Both of us want food.

"Yes. Help yourself to breakfast, ok? I know I sent you up with empty stomachs."

We salute her, not wasting a second in running and collecting food, stacking our plates with pancakes (the big ones, times four), sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs and a slice of the potato bread, all Aunt Esme was willing to give up. And when we had scraped the plate to the last crumble, Edward sneaked me some sliced bread with Nutella. I swear Edward and I are going to be fat one day. Like, _really_ fat.

"You're going to drive us into the ground." Aunt Esme comments, frowning, once Edward and I come back down from washing our teeth and grabbing our shit. "By the way, Bella, you're going to your mother's today, right? I want to send her a Christmas gift."

I give her a tight smile. She knows the answer to that.

"I am, in a couple of hours. Right now, Edward and I are going out to buy the presents, though." I avert my eyes from Aunt Esme's watchful eye. She's the devil's advocate. Mom's friend, in other words.

"Make sure to spend time with her, ok? And try not to fight with her. We all know the two of you aren't exactly pleasant to each other if you think the other is in the wrong."

Well, she certainly knows me.

"I know, I know. I promise not to start any fights. So long as she doesn't start drinking or calling me names." Aunt Esme glares, but I'm only half-joking. I flash her a big smile, then hook my arm through Edward's. "Well, pleasant as this conversation is, Edward and I need to get going. That is, of course, if we want to buy the presents before New Years."

We make a disappearing act, taking Aunt Esme's car.

It's a surreal experience. Instead of goofing off, like we usually do during a car ride, Edward lays his hand over the console, and it looks so lonely I link our fingers together, and we feel like a real couple, the type to go hand in hand even while driving. It makes me happy, so we drive in content silence, not wanting to spoil the mood.

When we reach the mall, we go through the tedious task of finding a parking spot, then deciding what to do first.

Because we have bottomless pits for stomachs, we have ice cream first.

Sitting down at the parlor, we eat contently.

"Hey, Bella, I want to ask you something..." Edward begins, and it's never a good beginning to a sentence, but I let him ask anyways. "How... How many guys have you slept with?"

I tense.

"Two guys. Alec and Jake. Why?"

He shrugs, licking his ice cream.

"Masochist curiosity, I guess." I raise an eyebrow. Bullshit. He sighs, knowing I'm onto him. "And Jamie has been rigging me about it, telling me you'll laugh at my virgin ass with how inexperienced I am."

I roll my eyes.

"Remind me to skin Jamie when I see him." I grab his hand, sticky with ice cream and chocolate syrup. "I find it sweet that you waited for me. Why would I laugh?"

"Well, because we're still _us_."

I understand.

"How about this. I promise not to laugh if something goes wrong the first time we have sex. I'll be on my best behavior." My lip twitches. "Even if the ride is over too quickly."

He groans.

"Please pray with me that _that_ won't happen. Ever. How mortifying."

I chuckle, ruffling his hair. Now he's got ice cream everywhere, just like me. I'm a messy eater, what can I say.

"Please tell me I don't have ice cream on my hair."

"You don't have ice cream on your hair."

"You're lying, aren't you?"

"No, I'm just complying." I smile brightly, then laugh at his face. "Come on, Cupcake. We've got shopping to do."

* * *

 **Yay, our favorite couple is finally an item! (*cheers*) So, this chapter was actually supposed to be longer (and with sexy times) but FFN is acting up again, so I couldn't upload it. I've got the first half of the next chapter though already edited and ready to go (it's like 3k words long so far), but I'm working on the rest. So, I'm thinking next chapter and an epilogue, yeah? Also, thanks so much for the reviews and kind words. :) Keep sending me love.**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. Here's a teaser of the next chapter:**

Once the door is locked behind us, he follows me to the bedroom, where I take out a change of clothes and put them in a duffle bag. While I rummage, Edward lays down on my bed, locking his fingers behind his head. When I'm done packing, I turn to face him, only to realize he's watching me intently. I smile.

"See something you like?"

"Something I _love_."

Oh stop it, you. Not really; keep going. Kicking off my shoes, I get on top of the bed… on top of my boyfriend. Plopping my ass down on his crotch, I laugh when he lets out a long groan.

"Are you trying to torture me?"

I shrug.

"A bit. Make out with me, Tony." I tease, leaning forward so my chest is touching his and my nose is buried in his neck.

He moans.

"When you put it that way…" He suddenly buckles up, putting his hands on my butt and turning to plant his lips on mine.


	15. Love is Patient, Love is Kind

**DISCLAIMER: I'M NOT THE TORTURED POETIC SOUL, BUT BEING SINGLE SURE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE ONE. Also, I don't own** ** _Twilight_** **.**

* * *

The thing about doing shopping on the 25th of December is, well, it's _crowded_. And when you finally manage to wrestle into a store... They run out of anything nice. Thankfully, due to tradition, I buy for all of my friends one Xbox game that the gang owns as a group —tomorrow, we'll all get together in Dunk's house and play until we fall asleep. For my mother I buy warm socks and a good blanket; for Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle I made a quilt (which took me like six months to do). Then, for Tan, I get her a lipstick she's been dying to buy. Edward's gift, though, is by far the most difficult. Not only is he right there, he can't figure out what to get me either.

In the end, he buys me some books and I get him a pair of converse (seeing as his are always tattered). Buying each other's gift takes like half an hour; first we had to choose, and then we had to regroup, because we knew what the other would want wouldn't be in one place.

"I have a suggestion." I begin when we start walking out of the mall; we're going, hand in hand, to the car.

"Shoot."

"How about, from now on, neither buys the other anything for Christmas? I mean, I think that instead of spending money on stuff, maybe we should save so every Christmas we can go on a fancy date somewhere. Like, I don't want to feel compromised to give you something for a date that isn't your birthday. I think that we should give each other gifts when we feel like it, instead of stressing over what to get the other. You know, if I see something I think you'd like, I'll buy it for you just because. Am I babbling?"

He chuckles, swinging his arm over my shoulders instead.

"Yup. But you're cute, so I'll forgive you." I feel my face heat up. "In any case, I agree. I don't want to wait all year long to have an excuse to pamper you." I start complaining, but he gives me a chaste kiss to shut me up. "Oh, get used to it. When have we ever owed each other anything?"

It's true. I've never kept tabs of what he's done for me, or what I've done for him.

We like doing things for each other.

"Fine. But just so we're clear, nothing expensive until you graduate with an MBA, or whatever degree it is you want, and you're working. Until then, we can't give each other anything that costs over... a hundred bucks."

He starts whining.

"But what if I want to give you a manga collection that's like $120? Huh? Should I not?"

I'm struggling, but I have to be firm.

"No. I would rather you start a savings account for when you get your first apartment, or your first car bought by yourself. Seriously. You can pamper me once you're the CEO of some fancy company." I wink, but judging by his eyes, I think he's not happy. "Oh, come on, Edward. Do you want me to spend so much all at once?"

"Absolutely not." He says immediately. "But it's different. I get my money from my parents. You earn your own money."

I kiss his cheek.

"I know, and I'll spend whatever I can on us. But don't you think I'll feel bad receiving expensive stuff and not being able to give you anything like that?" I bat my eyelashes for good measure.

He's cracking.

"Fine. But the limit does not apply for your birthday. Take it or leave it woman!" He immediately rushes out, and I know by his tone it's his final compromise.

Sighing, I agree.

"I will never understand why you like spending so much on gifts. It's just stuff." I complain, but Edward doesn't say anything, knowing that I'll take anything as an opportunity to keep wallowing.

"So, will you be spending the night at your mom's?" Edward asks just as we reach the car. Being a gentleman and all, he opens my door for me and ushers me into the passenger seat.

"I might. I guess it's been too long since I've last seen her." I ponder out loud. "I still haven't told her about dad."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I think I should. There's so much I want her to know and so much I don't know if she _should_ know. She might've done a shitty job raising me, but she's still my mother, so I don't want her to suffer. I don't know... I guess I'll know when the time is right."

He smiles tenderly.

"I'm proud of you, Bella. You're being the bigger man." He grabs my good hand and kisses the back of it, making my heart stutter. "Now let's get you to your mother's."

I shake my head.

"Can you take me to my apartment first, though? I need to pick up a few things. Besides, she threatened to gut me if I got there before four."

He nods.

"Of course."

The ride over is silent again, simply because we don't really have anything to say. Edward isn't really into needless talking, even though I am. I like rambling; it sometimes annoys him to have me mindlessly talking about something. Most of the time he just nods and smiles, paying me enough attention to not piss me off, but not paying me enough attention to be able to repeat what I said.

It works.

When we get to my place, Edward parks on the side of the curb, seeing as my apartment doesn't exactly have a parking spot. He comes up with me; as I close the door to the street and we ascend to the door of my apartment, he thinks it's funny to keep poking my ass.

Once the door is locked behind us, he follows me to the bedroom, where I take out a change of clothes and put them in a duffle bag. While I rummage, Edward lays down on my bed, locking his fingers behind his head. When I'm done packing, I turn to face him, only to realize he's watching me intently. I smile.

"See something you like?"

"Something I _love_."

Oh stop it, you. Not really; keep going. Kicking off my shoes, I get on top of the bed… on top of my boyfriend. Plopping my ass down on his crotch, I laugh when he lets out a long groan.

"Are you trying to torture me?"

I shrug.

"A bit. Make out with me, Tony." I tease, leaning forward so my chest is touching his and my nose is buried in his neck.

He moans.

"When you put it that way…" He suddenly buckles up, putting his hands on my butt and turning to plant his lips on mine.

Smiling, I lick his lips, locking my fingers in his hair. I tug, he moans, I stick my tongue into his mouth. Perfect.

"Wait, Belle…" he mumbles, but I seal his lips with mine. No way am I letting him speak.

Teasing him, I rock my hips on top of his, making him gasp and clench my ass harder. I bite his lip, tugging at it; suddenly, he buckles up, creating friction between us in a way that makes me moan and suck in his bottom lip.

"We should stop." He gasps out as I trail my hands down to his buckle, then start tugging up his shirt, trying to get it off. "No, Belle-"

"Please?" I huff out, kissing all the way to his ear. "I'll take off my shirt, too."

"That's not fair. You have a bra."

I tug on his earlobe.

"I'll take it off too."

Quicker than I've ever seen my best friend move, Edward chucks off his shirt, mine (technically his) and pulls off my bra (he doesn't even attempt to open it). Then he flips us over so he's lying on top of me, mouth latched onto a nipple.

"You're such a _boy_ ," I laugh, fingers digging into his hair. He stops his administrations though, and instead looks up at me, eyes dark.

"I'm a _man_ , Bella." He hisses, and suddenly pushes himself off of me.

I blink.

Whoa, what just happened?

"Um, Edward?" I breathe out. "What's wrong?"

He shakes his head, heaving.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I…" he sighs, looking at me with sad eyes. Heart sore, I extend my arms for him; one corner of his mouth turns up, and he comes back to me, laying down on me and putting his head on my chest, one hand lazily tracing my breast. I play with his hair, waiting for him to speak.

"I love you, Edward." I tell him quietly.

He places a soft kiss on the side of my boob.

"I love you too, Bella. I'm sorry I snapped." He murmurs, inhaling deeply. "I'm just… worried, you know? That you'll get tired of me. I'm, by far, the most under-qualified of your boyfriends. Newton had a career and was ten years older; Müller was seven years older and was a billionaire. Black is three years older and was already in college, looking like he'd have a bright future. I'm just… me. Plain, inexperienced me. What do I have to offer you? My friendship? My love? Is it enough? You've dated some really amazing guys, Belle. I'm just afraid I won't measure up to them."

I fix head so his ear lies on top of my heart directly.

"Hear that? That's my heart. Beating for _you_. Age didn't make them great, and you know I don't give one fuck about the money they had. All I cared about was their heart; their _friendship_. I choose _you_ , Tony. You, who has stuck with me through hell and back. Your friendship has been the only thing I've valued more than my own heart; your _heart_ , now, is the only thing I value more than our friendship. You're the best, most spectacular guy I have ever or will ever meet. You being my age, or not having a career, or not being experienced in bed is my last concern. How'd you like me telling you not to look at me because I'm scarred? Because I've made a mess of my life? Will you turn me away because we're the same age?"

He shakes his head vehemently.

"You're perfect."

He must hear my heart skip a beat.

"You're perfect, too. You don't know just how much you've saved me, Edward."

He lifts his head so he can look at me.

"If anything, my stupidity almost singlehandedly ended you."

So, it comes back to my suicide attempt.

I sigh.

"Edward…"

"No, _please_ , Bella, let me say this." I remain quiet, hesitantly letting him vent. "I'm so incredibly regretful about that day. About every day since I called to tell you I made out with Irina Denali and didn't correct you when you thought I slept with her. Maybe if I hadn't, I never would've felt the need to keep proving myself to you that I was _that_ experienced. I wouldn't have kept up the charade. I certainly wouldn't have said such awful things to you that night. I'm just… so _terribly_ sorry I let my lies get so out of hand."

I smile lightly.

"I'm sorry, too. I never told you about my situation at home, even when I needed you to know. I think, in a way, you feeling like you had to lie was my fault, too. You've always known I kept secrets, even if you didn't know _why_. You're so smart, Edward, you obviously had a feeling. You chose to ignore it because, well… You _loved_ me." I blush at my own words. "So in that sense, I'm the one that has to make more of an effort to be honest."

He places a butterfly kiss on my breast.

"We both have to try being more open." He places a kiss on my sternum. "And you'll have to bear with me until I'm ready to embarrass myself in front of you the first time we have sex. Believe me, you have _no_ idea how badly I want you, but I seriously want to have time to just be a couple. Please?"

He's way too innocent.

I sigh though, giving in bit by bit.

"But how long _are_ we talking about?"

He hums, thinking. Kissing up my neck.

"Valentine's?"

Two months.

Two bloody months.

"I'm going to rip you a new one, Shiny Boy. You _seriously_ want to wait that long?" My pitch goes up like an octave, and it's hilarious that _I'm_ the one begging for sex.

"Oh come on, Belle. You've gone longer than that without it, haven't you? And you've survived. I just want some time to get to know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend."

I'm seriously thinking of checking if Edward has a dick, and _not_ for the fun reasons.

"You're trying to make me miserable, aren't you?" I sigh, but ultimately agree. "I guess I can just… rub it off until then, I suppose."

Edward's little kisses stop cold.

Ha, I knew it.

"Wait, you masturbate?" This time, it's my boyfriend's voice that seems to squeak. Nonchalantly, I nod in agreement.

"Women have needs, too. And fingers."

He groans loudly, putting his hands on my hips.

"You're not playing fair, Bella. You're gonna kill me."

"Good." I quip, and moan softly when his hands slip beneath my jeans and boxers and settle on my ass. "Now who's not playing fair?"

He squeezes.

"Two can play that game." He whispers in my ear, kissing it. I shiver slightly and bite my lip. "Your ass is cold, by the way."

I chuckle.

"It's winter. What did you expect?" Then, deciding to be _really_ mean, I continue. "Besides, if you dip your hand a little lower, you'll find that area is _much_ warmer."

I swear I hear his soul exit his body.

"You're going to kill me, woman."

"We're even then."

I hear him gulp.

"What if… we make an exception today? As our Christmas gift." He mumbles, and I manage to see a bit of his faint blush. "You aren't due at your mother's until like an hour, right?"

Yeah. I was planning on getting there earlier to screw with her, though.

"Why sir, are you suggesting we do everything but?"

He buries his face in my neck, making me thump.

"Maybe," he grumbles. "I'm sorry, I know it's unfair of me."

"A bit, but what the hell. What do you want to do?"

His fingers dig into my hips.

"I want to touch you. I want to bring you pleasure."

I bite my lip, rubbing my thighs together.

"Alright."

And so the pleasure starts. First he removes my jeans and boxers, along with my socks. Then he removes his clothes as well, revealing himself to me. Well, almost; he keeps his boxers on 'as prevention'. He sits back on his knees, just looking at me spread out in front of him. Shameless. If there's anything I learnt from my sex partners, it's that you can't have sex if you're ashamed of your body. Well, I guess you can, but it won't be pleasant for either party. So when Edward stares hungrily at me, I spread my legs, letting him have a better look. His eyes make me burn. They make me feel loved.

"You're beautiful, Bella."

I breathe hard.

"Touch me, damn it."

So he does. First he kisses down from my neck, to my collarbone, to the top of my breasts. Nibbling. Holding me by the hips, shaking slightly. When he gets to my nipples, he looks up momentarily, as if asking for permission. He doesn't need it, but I give it. His hands trace my sides and cup my boobs, pushing them together. Childishly, he buries his face in them. I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud, but then he tugs a nipple and I moan, forgetting about his childishness. He starts sucking beside my nipple on my left breast, his left hand resting just below it. So I dig my fingers into his hair, moaning out his name as he switches his administration to my right side. His tongue is rough on my skin, showing his passion, and then it's soft, showing his love. All I can think of is pleasure. Pleasure because of him, who's lavishing me in his touch. Love for him, who is cherishing me like I'm precious. His fingers suddenly start descending, so he's tracing my sides again. His lips lower more, only he doesn't stop where I want him to. He keeps moving, and teasing me, he nips at the inside of my legs. Making me wetter, panting for him all the more. He does the same process to both legs, and when he seems about to repeat again the painful process, I grab him by the cheeks.

"Stop teasing me."

His smirk is cocky.

"Since you asked so nicely…"

Ass.

Instead of his fingers, which is what I expected, he waits for my head to lol back to suddenly lick me, from bottom to top. I gasp, arching my back and moaning out Edward's name, closing my legs at the sudden stimulus. But he doesn't let me, having already foreseen my reaction somehow. He sneaks his hands below my legs and holds them as he pleasures me. His tongue sneaks in and out of me, he sucks on me and he doesn't let me rest. The pleasure seems to be too much when he suddenly starts rubbing my clit, hard and fast, with his thumb. The coil that had been building releases, and shouting out my pleasure, I orgasm faster than I ever had. Even once I ride it out, he keeps licking me, not minding the incessant twitching. And by 'twitching' I mean mini seizures that would make an electric chair proud.

I must black out for a few seconds, because when I come to, Edward is lying next to me, just caressing my belly.

"So, how was I?" Edward murmurs softly, nervously. I almost laugh at the absurdity of him asking me after my effusiveness, but his genuine worry makes me stop and answer him sincerely.

"You're amazing." I say, some of the truest words I'll ever say. Stretching, my eyes trail downwards. "But I see you haven't taken care of _your_ issue."

Flushing, Edward pulls me in for a kiss.

"Don't worry about me."

I hum.

"I'll worry, if you don't mind." I whisper against his lips. "Now stay like that."

Surprisingly obedient, Edward watches me like a hawk as I repeat the painstaking process of kissing and nibbling. Eyes hot, he watches me as I slip my hands into the waistband of his boxers, tugging down. Licking my lips, I watch as him bob up, rock hard. It also turns out that neither of us care for shaving down there, which is fine with me. God made us hairy for a reason.

"So, they _did_ circumcise you." I tease, kissing the hipbone. Maybe now's not the time to tell him, but he's the first to be circumcised of the three sex partners I've had.

"Well—" he starts, but chokes on his words because I take him into my mouth. Just the tip, first. Licking. Once I'm sure he's not looking at me directly, I engulf the rest of him. Whatever I can't take into my mouth, I pump with my hand. And so the cycle starts. Suck, pump, lick, bob, moan, groan, stop, hold, start again. I make him expect what's coming next, though, and so for the grand finale, I suck on his balls, surprising him. He starts pulsating in my hand, and to not make a mess, I take him into my mouth again, drinking in all of him (not tasty, but if I can chug down broccoli, I can chug _this_ down). His hands are in my hair, keeping it out of my face as he rocks his hips against me. Sighing, I let him fall out of my mouth, laying my cheek on his hipbone, resting.

"You look way too alluring there, Bella." Edward croaks out, making me smile.

"You look alluring from here, too." I kiss his hipbone, then heave myself up so I'm sitting on his stomach instead. "Pull your knees up." I tell him, which he does. So I lay back, resting like that.

"You're not any less alluring from down here." Edward informs me. Chuckling lightly, I grab his hands in mine, holding them.

"I love you, you idiot." I breathe out, smiling contently.

"I love you too, fool." He says, placing our hands near his heart. "And I can't wait for the day I finally get to make you fully mine."

I close my eyes, still smiling.

"You can always choose a date, if you're so desperate."

"But I feel like then I'd be cursing that day to _not_ be the day we have sex." I raise an eyebrow. "Think about it. When do things _ever_ go according to plan? No, it has to be spontaneous. Valentine's is a suggestion, though, but I wouldn't bet any money on it."

I chuckle.

"You're like a little boy planning twenty years ahead." I smile. "Except you're planning when to bang me."

He scrunches his nose up.

"You're so crass, girlfriend of mine." I shrug, unapologetic.

"Come on, up you go. I've gotta visit my mother, and it's already three forty. She doesn't want me there before four, but she certainly doesn't want me _after_." I climb off of him, and his eyes darken as they watch my boobs jiggle from the movement. I humph. "I get a feeling this sex embargo is going to be much harder on you than it will be on me." I say, then snicker when I realize the accidental pun.

He groans.

"You're going to kill me, Belle."

When Edward drops me off in front of my old house half an hour later after the romantic times (*wink wink*), I can see the questions surfing through his mind. How I managed to stay here for so long. How my mother could've thought this was a safe place for us. Why I never asked for help. I don't let him voice the questions, though, and simply squeeze his hand, which I held throughout the ride.

"I'll be fine, Tony. Go and enjoy this time with your family." I peck him on the lips.

"You sure you don't want me to come pick you up?" He asks worriedly, looking at the closed door. I sigh, shaking my head.

"No, I'm spending the night here. I'll text you before going to sleep about the progress, ok? I need to be here tonight."

Running a hand through his messy hair, he nods, sighing.

"Don't forget." He says finally, and looks at me with a sweet smile that makes my heart give a kick. "Love you."

I blush.

"Love you, too."

Leaving Edward's car, I feel moths beat around violently in my stomach (yeah, it ain't cute like butterflies) as I near the front door of my old house. It doesn't look any different, although I can see from here red and green lights through the windows. Mom must've put up a tree, which is something we hadn't done in a while.

Nervously, I walk right in, still having my key.

"Mom?" I call out, surprised when I find her in the kitchen.

Something smells good, surprisingly.

I frown. Renée Higginbotham is _not_ a good cook.

Then I see the trash by the door containing take-out food, and I sigh in relief. Indeed, the mothership did not cook.

"Belly!" She cries out, coming from the kitchen in a flurry of movement to give me a killer hug. I stumble a bit; in recent years my mother had lost a drastic amount of weight, so she hadn't weighed more than a feather, but now... Can I just say _ouch_?

"Mom?" I repeat, this time a little more dubious. I peel her off of me and see that, for once, her hair is long and shiny, her cheeks look healthily flushed and she's wearing an apron, something she hadn't done since dad left us.

I've only been gone from her life a month and a half, but she looks... Different. Better.

Please tell me it's not some sort of new drug.

There's tears in her eyes though, and she cups my cheeks. Her lips start wobbling, and I know full-on sobbing will proceed. It's always been sort of stupid to me how they describe in books how 'a lone tear slipped past'; like, no. Most of the time if it's just one tear that leaks, it's because it's from yawning or something. But more on my personal feelings on crying later.

I do my best to pacify my mother.

"Mom, shh, it's fine. I'm fine. Now, you cooked?" I motion towards the kitchen, and she lets out something that sounds between a sob and a laugh.

"It's takeout, and you know it, my darling girl."

I shrug; she can't say I didn't try preserving her pride. She grabs my hand, as though she's afraid I'll fly away, and starts tugging me in with her, all the while blabbering on about this and that.

I see the table she's set; two plates filled to the top with Chinese food, glasses with Diet Coke and empty cups which, I assume, will hold ice cream. Mom and I are both obsessed with ice cream, even if it's the middle of winter.

Fidgeting, she motions me toward my usual chair.

"I- I got all of your favorites from Mr. Liu's. There's ice cream in the fridge -chocolate chip cookie dough from Ben & Jerry's… I hope you still like it," she says in a small voice, one I don't really recognize on her. I've never seen my mother being unsure of herself like this; normally, whenever she felt unsure, it would be accompanied by a raging fit of broken cries and screams of heartfelt rejection. The sting of my father's rejection that lingered with her all these years.

"I still like it," I answer quietly, taking my seat. Mom sits down hurriedly, nibbling a bit of her food, but mostly watching expectantly to reassure herself that I like what I'm eating. Of course I do; one of the few times I actually had fun with my mother was when we went to the Chinese restaurant downtown and gorged ourselves on food. I, obviously, always ended up eating most of her portions.

Sighing, I put down my fork.

Mom starts eating, like she's afraid if she doesn't have food in her mouth I'll say something bad.

"Mom."

She stuffs more Kung Pao chicken in her mouth. I hold back my laughter; she looks like a squirrel.

"Mommy." I try again, and once more, I watch her eyes water with emotion. She pushes down her food forcibly, swallowing loudly.

"I didn't know if you'd ever call me that again," she confesses, looking down at her plate.

"Of course I will. You're my one and only mommy." I blow out a breath. "How have you been? You look good."

Surprisingly good.

Blushing, she nods.

"I… I met someone. He's sweet and —and he was there for me the week after you moved out," she says, gulping down Diet Coke. "He listened to me, to my feelings. We had an amazing time together, but then he saw me drinking, and he —well, he made me rethink things. He made me see how my drinking might've been what had driven you away, and the choices I made drunk. I've… I've been clean for the last month."

I blink in shock.

"You haven't had a single drink? Are you going to AA meetings?"

She blushes harder, like she can't handle the scrutiny.

Well she's gonna have to be a tough cookie.

"Um, no, I'm not," she stops me before I start protesting. "I'm not planning on continuing to drink. It's just that Phil -the man I'm seeing- has some friends that go there, and he says they're miserable. That the abstinence and guilt that surrounds them is too much. I am going to free therapy sessions in the community center, and I'm not planning on drinking again, but —I _don't_ want to condemn myself for a mistake. Maybe AA is the answer for some people, but I'm quite sure it's not the answer for me."

I bite my tongue, wanting to yell at her for turning away from something she hasn't even tried. But I don't —she has a good plan, I admit to myself. And if she's as determined as she seems, I'm confident she'll seek the appropriate help. Not once in the last eleven years had my mother actually sought to stop drinking; she's never been one to lie to herself with fake promises of what she's going to do. Not even drunk. So the fact that she's doing this at all, well, it gives me hope.

I let out a breath, biting into a spring roll.

"Mom, I have something to tell you."

"Is this about Edward? Because I saw you through the window, and I have to say I always saw it coming. You two were meant to be together." Now it's me whose cheeks are burning, but I shake my head. That's not it.

"Mom, I—"

"Wait," she says suddenly, unexpectedly. I raise an eyebrow. "I forgot a big piece of news. I quit my job at the bar. Phil found a job for me waitressing at some high-class restaurant. I start on New Years. I… I just wanted you to know."

It's like she can feel what I'm about to tell her.

After telling her how proud I am, I decide to barrel on. No escaping this.

"Mom…" I shut her up when it looks like she's going to start interrupting again. "No, mom, listen to me. I saw dad recently."

It's like the breath is blown out of her.

She looks like air is resisting going inside her lungs. Like somebody punched her in the stomach, broke her heart to pieces. I feel awful that it's me who's making her feel this way, but it's something I must do.

"Did…" she swallows hard, but this time there's nothing but air to gulp down. "Did you talk to him?"

I bite my lip.

"Edward and I may or may not have crippled him."

She blinks owlishly at me once, twice, and then she bursts out laughing.

I've got to admit; I never thought my mother would condone violence.

"Oh, that bastard had it coming. After he ran off with that floo—" Suddenly she stops, her face ashen, and she looks at me with panicked eyes.

Surprised, I let the spring roll I was about to stuff into my mouth back down on my plate.

"You knew."

It's not a question. There's no anger or accusation. It's just an affirmation, which is needlessly answered by a nod.

"I've always known, baby girl. I don't know if you remember, but the day he left…" she makes a visible effort to hold herself together, and in an act of sympathy, I grab her hand. Smiling softly, she continues. "The day he left we had a huge fight. You went off to school, and when you came back he was… gone. I- I found out that he had a girlfriend on the side, and they had a child together. He gave her his last name and his mother's last name," she laughs bitterly, as if remembering (or maybe currently feeling?) the heartbreak. "I told him he had to take what he could and leave immediately. That if he wasn't gone within the hour, I'd sue him for fraud and tell his dear mother of what he'd done, getting him disinherited. He hightailed it out of there fast. I… I managed to snag a necklace of value from him, so you'd think it was from him." She looks away, as if ashamed of the last piece of information.

"He asked for it back. I was wearing it; I ripped it off and threw it as far as I could. Should've sold it, though." I confess, my mind swimming with thoughts like 'he never loved you' and 'your mother lied to you'. I shake them off; now's not the time. Now is the time for answers. "Why… Why didn't you tell me? I always thought he'd come back."

She turns our hands so now she's clutching mine instead of the other way around.

"Because even if I was heartbroken, it didn't mean I had to kill all hope you had. You were so young, so innocent. I didn't know if you'd realize it wasn't your fault," she sighs, retracting her hand. Her eyes, so unlike mine, shine bright. "I know I wasn't the best mother. I know I have a lot to atone for —you had so many worries that shouldn't have even crossed your mind until you'd at least graduated high school. I just want you to give me the chance to be the mother I wish I could've been. Please, Bella."

I stuff my mouth with food while I think.

On one hand, this isn't how I thought today would play out. Honestly? I sort of expected there to be a lot of drama. I'd catch her still drinking, or she'd refuse to apologize, and I'd walk out after telling her I tried to do right by her. After telling her never to call me again, and not to worry about me. I thought there'd be a dramatic exit where she would cry to me that she'd never drink again —for _me_ — and that she'd be a better mother. On some level, I feel like I deserve at least that much. I suffered so much every time she got home drunk, every time she forgot my birthday or an important school presentation, every time I felt the stress building because of my three jobs. On the other hand, she's my mother. I'll never stop trying to love her; even when I told myself I was done with her, I couldn't do it. She's my mom, and that's reason enough to forgive and forget to the best of my abilities.

But first, I've gotta clear the dirty laundry.

"You hurt me a lot, mom. You neglected me, and I was often left to fend for myself and be the only functional person in this house. There's a huge gap in my heart, left by all the times I felt forgotten or unneeded by you. I know it was an effort for you to not just dump me on whomever would accept me, and I thank you for trying. But you're my mother; I can't help but feel like you should've tried _harder_. I can't promise every once in a while I won't voice any lingering resentment, but… I love you, mommy. I'm willing to try and give us another shot."

Her eyes still shining, my mother takes my hand in hers —a big, warm hand that had been the hand I loved most for so long. A hand I'd relied on for so little of my life, but had yearned for for the better part.

"I love you, my beautiful girl."

When I call Edward later that night, once mom and I have opened our gifts and cried together for a while longer, and he asks me how I am, I'm honest when I tell him I feel calm. At peace. Like maybe I could finally let go of a little of the anger that had plagued me for so long.

"Have you forgiven her?" He asks quietly; mom is already passed out, too emotionally tired, and I know from experience the Cullens were of the theory 'early to bed, early to rise' though Edward himself goes to bed early and wakes up twelve hours later.

"I don't know," I confess just as quietly, already lying in bed. "I've spent such a long time resenting her that I don't know how to _not_ be angry. I don't feel like I hate her anymore —I haven't in a long time— but I don't know how to feel about her anymore. You know?"

"I know."

He always does.

Edward and I keep our relationship to ourselves for the next week, but for New Years Eve it's sort of hard to avoid. We're hanging out with the gang; the local beach is the place that's hip and cool to spend quality time with your friends. The plan is going there to ring in the new year, and then crash at Romeo's. After seeing his monster of a mansion we (namely, me) pressured him into letting us use his house to crash once we're (they're) all too trashed to drive home, and in case we want to continue the party a little longer.

Edward and I reach the beach at a little after eight. We're having hot dogs, pizza (which will arrive along with Tan, who said she doesn't want to hang out with her parents or friends), a bonfire with s'mores and just about any other junk food we can think of. Edward and I bring drinks —he stole some alcohol from his dad, and I bought Diet Coke (for me) and more sodas for the rest. We find all of the gang already sitting on logs, Emmett and Jamie probably already having built the fire.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Jamie calls out to us, almost instantly zeroing in on our locked hands. "Did you make another bet on who's most likely to pull away first?"

 _Seriously?_

That happened _once_ , and it was last semester.

It's Edward who answers, and I swear he looks so smug he looks like the cat who swallowed the canary.

"Nope," he says gleefully, popping the p. "I finally managed to convince Bella that we were meant for each other. We're Edella now."

I shoot Edward a weirded out look.

"No we're not. We're Bellaward."

We start arguing about that, Edward saying that makes us sound like a Pokémon, setting down the drinks and ignoring the totally shocked stares of our friends.

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"Not funny guys, tell us the truth."

"Fucking finally, dude!"

"Did you bring beer?"

"Oh my god, I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Bella, can we talk for a second?" Uh oh. That ominous statement comes from Jazz, who is alarmingly neutral. I seriously can't see what he's thinking, and from Ali's worried face, I can tell she doesn't, either.

I blink.

"Ok… Come right by my office." I say, and Edward gives my hand a reassuring squeeze before letting me go. Shooting him a grateful smile, I walk away from the bonfire, to the cars, where I know the gang won't be able to hear us.

I wait for Jazz to go first.

"You remember the day after Halloween? When I confessed how I felt?"

I nod.

"You remember what you said?"

Sadly, I do.

 _"I have a special connection with Edward. One I cherish too much. I will never date Edward, if that's what you're asking. Anyone but him."_

"I told you I'd never date Edward, because I love him too much."

Suddenly, he smiles.

"I'm glad you've never been good at listening to yourself. You two make a better couple than you and I ever could've. And…" he scratches the back of his hair shyly. "I'm really happy with Alice. I'm thinking of introducing her to my parents. I… I once thought I could never love anyone more than you. I'm glad I was wrong. I'm glad you rejected me, Bella, and I'm glad you're together with Edward. You deserve each other."

I smile fondly at him, heart warm.

"Thanks, Jazz. I really appreciate it."

He nods quickly, sharply, just once. He hugs me, and he's all lanky boy and acrylic paints.

"Thank you for loving me," I say softly, not sure if I ever said it.

"Thank you for _not_ loving me," he replies in a soft tone, making me chuckle. "Now let's go, before Alice starts questioning our relationship."

I scoff.

"Please. She's got you wrapped around her little finger, and she knows it."

When we get back to the bonfire, suddenly they all clam up. I raise an eyebrow, coming to a stop next to Edward. He's sitting next to Romeo, who's surprisingly flying solo. I thought he'd be bringing May.

"We don't believe you and Edward are dating. Edward's been trying to convince us, but none of us is really _confident_. We want proof."

I raise both eyebrows now.

Then I shrug, plop down on Edward's lap and kiss the fuck out of him.

" _We believe you!_ We believe you, so please stop mauling each other!" Emmett lets out an agonized groan, and we all laugh, Edward and I finally parting, though I stay on his lap. I turn to see my friends; Emmett's with Rose, Ben with Angela, Jazz with Ali and The Loser Romeo all by himself.

"Hey Romeo," I say, once the buzz has started and my friends aren't paying me any mind. "What happened with May?"

His sigh is deep and long. Like a little of his soul exited.

I attempt to climb off Edward's lap, but he has me in a tight grip. He never severs his conversation with Jamie, who has his own leech stuck to his arm (aka Victoria). Surprisingly, since Sadie Hawkins Jamie and Victoria have declared themselves official; thankfully, she's toned down the possessiveness. I digress.

Romeo scoots a little closer.

"Turns out four days without me was too long for May. She told me she wasn't waiting around for me, and especially not when she could instead go for Edward."

The blood drains from my face.

Fuck. He knows.

"Oh, Romeo—"

He stops me.

"It's fine, really. I just expected a little more from her, y'know? I gave it my all for her, and she just…" He sighs sadly, and I want to cry for him. "You were right about her."

My lips press into a thin line.

"Oh, Romeo, I wish I wasn't. I never wanted you to get hurt." Anger, hot and unstoppable, courses through me against May Anderson, bitch extraordinaire. "Let's TP her house."

He shakes his head, looking at me with amusement.

"We're not children, and you warned me. It's my fault; I should've gotten my head out of my ass when I had the chance."

He should've.

Still, I'm trying to be supportive damn it.

"Friends and family!" Comes a new voice I know too well, and I face away to see the newcomer. Or, more correctly, newcomers. Tan, gorgeous bombshell that she is with delicious pizza that she carries, comes with two friends. Both girls, both pretty and friends of hers whose name I can't really remember.

"My sister, Tanya Cullen, everybody."

The trio comes to a stop in front of us, and the boys grab the pizza instantly —not out of chivalry or anything, but because they're ravenous beasts like that.

"Hey guys," Tan says pleasantly, going over to sit on the log with Ben and Angela. "This is Bree Tanner," she motions to the smaller girl, who has wide eyes, brown hair and skin even paler than mine. "And Leah Clearwater. Friends from college," this girl has copper colored skin, long midnight black hair and is almost six feet tall. "They didn't have anywhere to be for New Years, so I invited them. I hope that's ok."

Leah sits with Tanya, and Bree sits on Romeo's other side. I can already see Bree's lovestruck gaze roaming all over our heartbroken friend.

Edward and I share a knowing glance.

"Hey Bree," Edward begins, attracting the attention of the slight girl. She barely pays my man any attention, gorgeous as he is; good. "Why don't you tell Romeo about your career? He's a huge fan of English Lit."

"Romeo?" she scrunches her eyebrows together, wondering if that's his real name.

"Riley Marks, but we all call him Romeo. Let him tell you that story; he's a bit down right now. His almost-girlfriend turned out to be a bitch." Edward says helpfully, ignoring Riley's venomous glare.

"He's gonna kill you," I giggle into Edward's ear, and he turns slightly, rubbing his nose against mine. My heart is filled with so much love with him I feel a little euphoric.

"I hope you bring me back to life, then."

"Always," I whisper, giving him a soft kiss.

The hours building up to midnight are spent with much laughter, teasing and recounting of old stories —both shared memories of the gang and individual stories we'd never heard of before. By the time the clock strikes midnight, and Edward and I do the traditional ringing in of the New Year by kissing, we're so self-absorbed we barely hear as the rest of the gang decides to move the party to Romeo's.

"Hey guys," Edward says, eyeing me with a lustful gaze. "As much as Bella and I would love to stay here, we won't. We've got our own plans."

Tan gives him an outraged look, but she doesn't hold it for long. She's too happy for her little brother.

"I won't tell mom, punk."

He smiles, thankful.

The rest of the gang protests loudly, but we won't have any of it.

Thirty minutes later, once goodbyes and traffic have been surpassed, we stare at each other by the foot of my bed.

"You're sure?" I ask again. "We don't even have protection."

Slyly, like only this boy can, he pulls out a package of Trojans.

"I bought them when you weren't looking when we stopped for the sodas."

I want to laugh, I do. But his eyes won't let me.

Instead of answering, I climb onto the bed so I have the advantage of height —which means we're now eye-level.

I cup his cheeks in my hands lovingly.

"I love you so much, Edward."

It's like a switch is lit on inside of him, and suddenly we're no longer two separate souls but one. Not two bodies, but a single one.

Clothes are taken off in a hurry. Edward sheds mine, and I shed his. It's more carnal than passionate, more goal-oriented than a frenzy. We're a man and a woman on a mission.

Suddenly, we're falling on my bed, and he's on top of me, kissing me. Kissing my neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses; kissing my breasts with an eager tongue, like a man deprived of pleasure for much too long. He lingers there, as men tend to do, and I bury my fingers in his silky hair, moaning out his name once, twice, countless times until he finally lowers. Hot eyes find mine, and they hold as he keeps trailing his butterfly-like kisses down my stomach. I feel all of my muscles clench in anticipation, and when his mouth finally finds the core of my being, I'm panting with love and desire.

"Oh, Edward, oh _Edward_ ," I breathe out, rocking my hips. My thighs are over his shoulders, and seemingly to destroy me, he refuses to let go of my eyes. As he pleasures me, we look into the gates to the soul of each other, and we love what we see. I see his love for me, his lust, as I'm sure he can see mine.

My orgasm shatters me, the cosmos suddenly contracting and then expanding before my very eyes, and before I have a chance to recuperate, Edward is over me, condom rolled on and hands holding my hips. Lips pressed to mine, hair trickling my forehead.

"I love you," he says, and before I have a chance to answer, he thrusts into me in one smooth motion.

He's clumsy. He's slow and then he's fast, finding it hard to find a rhythm that works for him. He tries rubbing the bundle of nerves that he know will bring me pleasure, but he's not skilled enough to know how to coordinate his movements. Still, I lock my ankles behind his ass and encourage him; telling him how much I love him, how good it feels, how close I am. Nothing but truths. So when he stills and lets his orgasm wash over him, I let go too, wanting to fall over the edge with him.

Panting, he falls to my side; he disposes the condom, throwing it to the side, and then turns to look at me. He looks tired, and lovely, and mine.

I think of how precious he is to me.

"What're you thinking about?" Edward whispers, not wanting to shatter the moment.

"You. Just like usual."

* * *

 **Hi! So... Next chapter's the epilogue. As you can see, there's an ending lemon for this chapter :)) I just want to say that it's been an amazing ride. For me, this is a story I've been developing for the last three years, and it's the longest story I've ever** **persevered with. So it's precious to me if even one person likes this project as much as I do. I hope that you'll carry with you messages I found important -that sometimes it's not the safest bet the one you should take. That money isn't everything, and that we all have our own shit to endure. That endurance is important in this world where we all have our different battles. Bella's a person -she has moments of snark, of hurt, of vulnerability, as does everyone. I wish that, even a little bit, you could find something you shared with my characters. :) But as always, leave me some love.**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. Also, one person said they didn't understand the title, and because they didn't leave a reply link I couldn't, ya know,** ** _reply_** **, so I'll reply here (in case anybody else was wondering). Why chronicles? Because this is a long-ass story. Why of a Western Belle? Western because Forks is in the west of the US (although I know -or at least think- I haven't explicitly said they live in Forks), and Belle because that's Edward's most affectionate nickname for her. Fun fact: originally Bella's nickname was Jo, as in Josephine, after Louisa May Alcott's** ** _Little Women_** **Josephine March. The thing is Jo is supposed to be a tomboyish girl, and this was way back in the 1870s. Then I changed it, because I wanted to at least try and be a little more canon.**


	16. Love Me Tender (Epilogue)

**Hi! If you've gotten an update, I'm sorry to say it's just me revising the last chapter. I'd sort of posted it in a hurry, so I was looking through it the other day and decided it was sort of important to check a few mistakes. I also wanted to make something clear, which came to my attention through the reviews. I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I'm misogynistic, or that my Bella was. I _don't_ think that girls are backstabbers or vicious as a rule, as I might've come across in the first chapter. I apologize if you were turned off by that, which is my fault for not being clear enough. It was just part of the plot; it's like when you have a bad experience with, say, cheese because you choked once and now you refuse to eat it in case you choke again. I don't know if my analogy made it clear or not, but that's how it is. I don't want to make too big a deal out of this, so I'll just finish by saying this: everyone has different experiences. Everyone meets different people. My best friends are girls, and I love them so much, but that's not to say I haven't had bad friendships. It happens, and that's independent of gender, race, or age. It's about people's personalities; I chose to not blame the whole gender for those few bad friendships, but it wouldn't be farfetched to say some people out there _do_ do that. It was just part of the plot that this Bella did -if you feel identified, perfect. If you feel offended, I'm sorry, I really am. Ok, long rant over #SorryNotSorry**

 **DISCLAIMER: WELL, SAME AS ALWAYS.**

* * *

Life has a way of taking the strangest twists and turns; some you're comfortable with, some you despise. I used to wonder, quite often, what would've become of me if May Anderson hadn't alienated me from the girls in class. If I hadn't projected my hate for her for all girls my age. If I hadn't had Edward by my side, or if my mother had stepped up and owned up to her responsibility instead of shying away from it, or if my father had stuck around. As I grew up and learned to accept my circumstances, I realized that everything that had made me what I was had been necessary, even if it felt unfair at the time. I cannot say that there was anything positive in having a drunkard for a mother, or a coward for a father, or in working three part time jobs in order to survive. But it made me who I am; a strong, confident, independent woman who knows what she wants and goes for it, even if she's swimming against a strong current. Furthermore, everything that involved the circumstances of my birth and life brought me Edward Anthony Cullen; the love of my life, the father of my children, my best friend.

I wish I could say that life after that winter took an abrupt turn for the better. It didn't; I still had to work two part time jobs, I had to finish high school with my scholarship intact and my mother had a long road of recovery. But I had Edward, and I had my friends. I had the Cullens, and on good days, I had my mother. Life took a lot away from me, but it also gave me a lot.

Edward and I broke up twice before getting married. The first time it was because I got into an Ivy League school on a scholarship about three hours away from home; Edward didn't get into the same one as me, but he managed to get into a great one on the other coast. We thought that we didn't want to do the long-distance thing; after two months being miserable without each other, we reconciled, and we started saving money so we could visit each other frequently. It worked.

The second time we broke up it was because, when I graduated from undergrad, Edward wanted us to get married; I wanted to get my masters before settling down, and that put a huge strain in our relationship. Finally, we decided to call of our relationship; we tried moving onto different people.

One day, though, after I came home from a miserable date, I found Edward moving all of his things into my apartment. He told me he'd managed to get into my university to do his masters, and that he was fine with waiting for me to want to get married, so long as he could spend every night with me.

"I've started eating healthy, I've gone on countless dates, and I got promoted in my job. I hate it. _All of it_. Especially the eating healthy part."

With a declaration like that, there was only one thing I could reply.

" _Fine_. I'll marry your miserable ass, but you better not get me pregnant before I have my masters."

Thankfully, for once, he listened.

It turns out that while Edward had been right about his career choice, it had only taken a few weeks for me to realize I would be miserable in my first career choice. So I switched; my new ambition became to shape minds, much like Mr. Banner did. Despite all our bickering, he'll forever be my favorite teacher. And I realized that I wanted that to be my legacy; I wanted to be a badass teacher who students loved, feared and remembered. I'd let Edward bring in the big bucks (which he would, although I hadn't been totally sure of it in the beginning).

Unsurprisingly, the first one of the gang to get married was Romeo. Surprisingly, though, it wasn't to Bree, who'd shown great interest in him, and whom he'd dated for three months. In a move that shocked all of us, he found love with a girl in college whose name was —get this— _Juliet_. Obviously, Romeo says it was meant to be. When they had their first child, and they made me the godmother (Romeo claims that I'm the woman he loves most, after Juliet, his mother, his sisters and future daughters), I had the honor of naming his firstborn child. I named their child Romeo Elias Marks (or Rem, as in Rapid Eye Movement, as I liked calling him much to his parents' fury since their son was practically narcoleptic), and after that I wasn't allowed to name any child but my own.

Edward and I had triplets, surprisingly and infuriatingly enough. I only contemplated poking one of their eyes out once a week or so their first ten years of life. Much in the same fashion as our mothers had, I named our little monsters after books. Robin Rylan (from _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ ), Riley Zachariah (I sorta owed Romeo after his firstborn), and Ariel Evelyn (Ariel after the mermaid, Edward's favorite princess, and Evelyn after Evey from _V for Vendetta_ , my favorite comic) were born two and fifteen minutes apart. Because of the large time span between the birth of my little Riley and Ariel, the boys were born on February 27th and Ariel on February 28th. Mom always complains that if I'd just waited one more day, my child would've been born February 29th.

I stopped reminding my mother it wasn't a leap year after a while.

I loved my little demons, but I made Edward get a vasectomy as soon as we found out I was going to pop out three creatures at the same time.

Sadly enough (I guess), my father didn't make it to my children's birth, or my wedding, even. Turns out, after that fiasco in the car dealership, his wife found out all about his cheating ass. She dumped him, and in his despair, he got run over by a truck. I can't say I was heartbroken about his death, but I did make an appearance at his funeral out of (undeserved) respect. Strangely enough, Helen _wanted_ to get to know me, her half sister. I did, too, which was even stranger. Natasha, Helen's mother, though, always refused to see me. Helen said it was because she felt ashamed; she'd been the other woman, and she hadn't known. Despite it all, I didn't blame Helen or Natasha for my father's actions; I knew we were all victims of my father's selfishness.

In a hilarious turn of events, when we were in second year of college Tanya suddenly came home one day holding hands with Irina Denali. They'd met each other doing volunteer work one day, and they'd found love amidst crying children and wheezing elders. Aunt Esme had the hardest time adjusting to the development; she continuously moaned to Tan that she wanted grandchildren, and when Tan and Irina said they'd be adopting, she started moaning that she wanted _biological_ grandchildren. Then I popped out three grandchildren for her, and she forgot all about it. When little Jonathan Denali-Cullen was brought before Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle, the two of them went batshit crazy buying presents for the little ball of sunshine. They loved Jon as much as they loved the triplets, and when Tanya and Irina adopted seven-year-old Jane (I still think that name was a terrible idea), they went triple batshit crazy. They had two grandchildren too many, in my opinion. Kidding; Riley and Robbie are wonderful, too.

Although I could really do without Robbie's obsession with arachnids.

Other things that happened: Edward became CEO, as he'd always wanted, when he was only twenty-nine (needless to say, they were a few rough years of Edward being more zombie than man). We celebrated by dumping the four-year-old triplets on their all too willing grandparents and spending a weekend in Hawaii. Emmett and Rose got married, and had twins plus two other children a few years later. Ben and Angela decided they didn't want any children a few years into their marriage (I think ours spooked them off), and Jazz and Alice made do with one (which I thought was wise). Jamie and Victoria broke up after high school graduation, and he's been living the bachelor life ever since –personally, I think he and Victoria are still each other's booty call, but who am I to judge? Mom married and divorced Phil three times before finally being done playing with the poor guy's feelings. Phil was such a fantastic man, once I got to know him, that when he asked me to call him dad, I did. I've never regretted it. Even when they were divorced, I did my best to visit him whenever I could; he loved the triplets as much as mom, so he was thrilled whenever I could bring them over.

"Mrs. Cullen!" A voice brings me out of my inner musings.

Blinking, I turn towards the teenaged brats I call my students.

"Yes, Mr. Banner?"

In another hilarious turn of events, I ended up being my old teacher's son's English teacher.

"You look really nice today," he says, all innocence and cuteness.

I don't buy it for a second.

"You are _not_ getting out of today's homework, young man."

"But Mrs. C!" He wails, and the rest of the class backs him up. "Tomorrow's Valentine's Day! We've got romancing to plan!"

I raise an eyebrow.

"You know, I remember wailing that to my math teacher once. You know what he said?"

It was well known that Tom Banner's dad had once been my teacher.

"What?" He asks wearily, knowing nothing good ever came out of me citing his father.

"No," I say cheerfully. "Although I _am_ willing to barter. How about instead of two chapters, you only read one? But next week you've got to read three instead of two." I warn, and I can see the inner struggle within them. Some shout out 'Deal!'. Others wail a no.

"Discuss among yourselves."

Alissa and Max Marks also happen to be in my class; the duo, trying to take advantage of the fact that they've know me since they were seven, attempt to coerce me on behalf of their class.

"But Bella!" Ali wails, coming up to my desk.

"Don't you have a hot date with Edward tomorrow? Do you actually _want_ to spend Valentine's grading papers?" Max continues. Interestingly enough, it took a few years for the twins to let go of the idea of their brother and I being a couple. Until Romeo met Juliet and made it clear he would _never_ let go, Max and Ali had held onto the hope that their brother and I would be an item. In the time that they held onto the delusion, they'd despised Edward and had played more than one mean prank on him.

I roll my eyes.

"I don't, which is why I won't. I'll grade them during the weekend," I say smugly. "Besides, what are the two of you complaining about? You two are my kids' babysitters. Tomorrow is just business as usual."

Suddenly they look at each other like they had a brilliant idea.

Having known these kids for so long, I know their ideas are always a far cry from brilliant.

"We'll do it for free!" They shout at the same time.

The class quiets; they know this is the best chance of getting out of homework.

I snort though.

"Try again. I _could_ just leave them with Edward's parents if you're so set on doing something tomorrow."

The twins backtrack quickly.

Good; Esme and Carlisle (as I took to calling them once they became my in-laws) are having a Valentine's date. They weren't available, which is why Edward and I are hiring the Marks siblings.

"No, that's fine. Pay us. As you said, we don't have any plans."

I will seriously tease Romeo when I see him about his younger siblings; the two were seniors in desperate need of some money.

"So, have you all reached a verdict?" I ask the class, shooing the twins back to their seat.

"One chapter today," they grumble in unison. Nodding, we agree on the terms and conditions.

The bell rings, and my students file out one by one. Alissa and Tom make their way out, bickering; they met in third grade when they ended up in the same class, and from then on it was history. Max is the last one out, and he swings by my desk.

"Hey, Bella."

I turn with a smile to him; he still has a very special place in my heart, being the brother of my closest friend (after Edward, of course).

"Max. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could help me out with something." He mumbles, and then corrects himself. "Some _one_."

Sometimes it's freaky how similar Max is to Romeo.

"Ok. What's up?"

"It's about Sasha."

Ah, Sasha. Of course. Because the world isn't small enough, I also ended up teaching Sasha Cohen, Siobhan's younger sister. Siobhan, otherwise known as Alec Müller's wife. True to his word, he and I kept in touch (we even attended each other's wedding), and I was one of the first people to congratulate him and Siobhan on the birth of their child, McKenzie, who was a few months younger than my triplets. Also, much to Edward's fury, Mackie and Robbie seemed to have a special bond from the few times we'd brought them together to play.

"I'll seriously blow a gasket if my son ends up marrying your ex-boyfriend's daughter." He'd said from the first time our kids had crossed paths.

Thankfully for my husband's sanity, Alec and Siobhan live about five hours away. However, and I was keeping the surprise for as long as I could, Alec told me that he was planning to move nearby.

Clearing my thoughts, I return my attention to Max.

"What about Sasha, honey?"

What can I say? Having three children brings out the maternal in you.

"I want to ask her out for Valentine's Day —you know, to spend it with us watching your children," he says quickly, noticing my glare. "But I don't know how."

I sigh.

"Well, first of all, I don't think you want to ask her out for the first time to watch three noisy brats."

I'm such a good mother.

"Second of all, you've just gotta be yourself. Steel yourself, catch her when she's alone, and tell her up front: 'Sasha, would you like to go on a date with me?' Girls like boys who are upfront. Upfront confident, not upfront creepy, though." I quickly amend.

He purses his lips. I sigh.

"Look, if you want, I don't mind your sister switching you out for Tom. That's only if your date must _absolutely_ be on Valentine's. However, it's up to you to convince your sister to behave herself with her boyfriend in my house. Remember: I have cameras everywhere."

My children are messy and need constant surveillance, to say the least.

His eyes brighten up.

"You mean that?"

I nod.

"Of course," I ruffle his hair playfully, sighing wistfully. "You're so much like your brother, it makes me feel a little nostalgic. When we first met, one of the first conversations we had was him asking my help getting some chick."

His eyebrows raise.

"Really? Riley's never told me that."

I snort.

"Of course he wouldn't. He forgot women existed before his precious Juliet. Her name was May, though; I tell you in case you ever want to blackmail him with the information."

His eyes twinkle.

"What happened with her?"

Good question.

"She married some jock from our high school. He quickly fell into debts and dragged her with him, though. Romeo sure dodged a bullet with that woman; rumor has it she's balding," I whisper evilly. "Now hurry to your next class. You're late as is and I'm not giving you a tardy slip."

-.-.-.-

"Honey I'm home!" I hear a testing voice sing later that evening. Smiling wide, I rush out to the foyer to welcome my husband.

"Tony! Welcome home, honey!" I say happily. Grinning like fools, he drops his suitcase and catches me just as I launch myself at him. Instead of twirling me around, though, I cling onto him like a monkey.

"My back, Belle! My back!" He jokes, catching me by the ass.

"Oh, shut up. You're only twenty-eight." I slap his back, tucking my nose into the crook of his neck, happily breathing him in. He always smells so good.

In the midst of my smell-induced trance, Edward starts walking us to the kitchen, where our food is already done.

Sadly, after a bad health scare two years ago, Edward and I started eating healthy. Our meals were nutritious, and we limited ourselves to two junk foods per week. Typically, one day we had a dessert, and other day we had just about anything else.

"And the little monsters?" My husband asks, setting me down on my chair.

I brush back a stray piece of hair.

"Asleep."

"But it's only six."

I shrug.

"I may or may not have made them listen to classical music and withdrawn all sugar since early today."

My children are weak without sugar and against Mozart.

In my defense, a parent has to make good use of their children's weaknesses.

"We're gonna suffer tomorrow morning."

"No," I correct, watching him sit down next to me. "Alissa and Tom are going to suffer tomorrow. I'm gonna make them earn that money."

He frowns.

"Alissa and Tom? I thought it was going to be Ali and Max." He stuffs some chicken in his mouth, groaning at the great taste. I've learnt a thing or two in the kitchen in recent years, if I may say so myself.

"It was," I answer, sipping some Diet Coke. To this day, I still refuse to drink, my mother's previous alcoholism too present in my mind. Edward, though, enjoys the occasional glass of wine. "But then Max made it clear he wants to go on a date with Sasha tomorrow, so I gave him a way out."

He hums in acknowledgement to what I said.

"So how was work today?"

And so we continue. Our friendship ever-present in our lives, our love still beating. He talks of his job and I talk of my teenaged brats. He tells me the office gossip and I supply high school drama. We're a well-oiled machine; friends and lovers, partners and parents.

We finish eating; we put away the plates in the dishwasher. Edward takes my hand, as he does every Wednesday night after dinner, and guides me to the living room. He presses play on the iPod that's docked by the dining table, takes me to the middle and brings me close, beginning our dance. I sing along to the opening lines of Elvis Presley's _Love Me Tender,_ our wedding song. I shorten the distance until my head is lying on his chest, and I feel him laugh merrily, as he always has and he always will, at my off-pitch singing.

 _Love me tender,_

 _Love me sweet,_

 _Never let me go._

 _You have made my life complete,_

 _And I love you so._

 ** _The end._**

* * *

 **So, it's finally over. I can't believe it. It took me almost three years to finish this story, and it took finally publishing to motivate my lazy ass into finishing it. First of all, thank you for your kind words regarding my story. It's precious to me, as I hope it is to you. I know the epilogue's much shorter than the usual chapters, but I wanted to tie as many loose ends as quickly as possible; I didn't want to bore you, either, with a super long ending. If you ever want to read the original story (of Akira and Puck, as they originally were), PM me, and I will happily send it to you. :) (Although it has a lot more errors and it's pretty similar, seeing as I didn't proofread on that document, only on this one) What else? I don't know when I'll write something new. This is the only story I was comfortable with publishing, and though I have many ideas, I don't know when I'll make myself finally write them down. I hope you liked the ending, and I hope I did a clean, coherent wrap. Finally, send me some love!**

 **Leah.**

 **P.S. I just published a oneshot! Check it out; it's called** ** _Golden Bindings_** **.**

 **It's romance, of course, but it also brushes the subject of self-image and self-love.**

 **Summary: "Not enough people love themselves; we tear each other down in hopes of making ourselves feel better, and when we're done destroying each other externally, we aim for the inside. We think perfection is the rule and flaws are the exception when it comes to others. When it's about** ** _us_** **, we're flawed, and we can't let the world tear us down -so we must tear the others down first." E/B**


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